When I came to the door for the first time, my husband was very nervous, for fear that Ya would not be able to stand it and turn around and run. Who knows that Ya not only does not dislike it, but is full of sympathy, feeling that this family is so pitiful, she didn't expect why her husband's family is so poor, why other people's houses are brick houses, but her husband's house is still a mud house. She only thought that when she was a child, her grandmother's family was also very poor, and it was also a mud house, but how kind and kind and hardworking her grandmother was, and how kind and hardworking her aunts were, they were all positive and motivated people, but why were they so poor? Is it because my grandfather is bedridden all the year round and has no pillars at home?

Ya's family was also very poor when she was a child, and even the house was rented. Ya remembers moving a few times, and she remembers that they lived in two rooms close to the river, and a small courtyard. The gate faces a pond surrounded by fluttering willow trees and turquoise ponds with ducks flapping their wings and singing. There is also a big white goose, Ya looks at the beautiful posture of the white goose, and always thinks that it is a swan flying here, attracted by the cheerful duck and reluctant to leave.

Mom and Dad went out to work and locked the sisters in the house. The sisters would cling to the window railing and look out at the pond, and the neighbors and aunts would walk by, and they would sometimes shout, "Auntie, open our door, we want to go out." ”

The aunt smiled embarrassedly and said, "I don't have the key, I can't open the door." "I heard that the pond had drowned children, and my parents were worried that the children were alone and afraid that they would run out to play in the water, so they had to lock them in the house.

That place really loomed in Ya's memory, and to this day she dreams that she is back in the same place as her childhood. The water in the pond is so green, and the ducks are so cute. She held a fishing rod made of bamboo and squatted under the weeping willows to fish. The small fish swam around, and Ya wanted to catch a few and keep them in a bottle. It's fun to watch the little fish swim happily in the water, and if you are a small fish, you will be so happy to chase and play with the fish! It's really a place with childhood dreams.

In Ya's memory, Mom and Dad couldn't care about doing tasks like sweeping the floor and wiping the table, and they were all done by Ya's sisters. The elder sister is the role of the all-powerful conductor, and Ya is the real executor. The relationship between the neighbors is also very harmonious, and when they sweep the floor outside the door, they will sweep the neighbor's land by the way, and the neighbors are the same.

At that time, life was more difficult, grandparents were sick in bed all the year round, and the burden of parents was not only to raise a few children, but also the parents of both sides, as well as their younger siblings needed their support, so my father's side business seemed to have never been broken. Ya remembers raising a lot of sheep when she was a child, and drove them across the river every day. The water is shallow, and you wade barefoot across the river, and there is enough grass for the sheep to eat on the other side of the river. It was also a beautiful place, with small forests and sandy beaches, and they would sometimes dig deep pits with shovels, and then clear water seeped out of it, and when they were thirsty, they could drink the water, and the water was so sweet and clear.

What made Ya even more strange was that she had the same dream several times, in which there was a large rectangular pool, and I don't know who dug it. The water in the pool was very clear, and there was a creature that resembled a small snake and an earthworm. They squirmed slowly, and their bodies turned out to be transparent, with scales like thermometers on them. Ya wondered why she dreamed like that. Some of the dreams I had when I was a child were not only repeated repeatedly, but they were so vivid that you couldn't feel whether it was reality or a dream. The neighbors' children also like to go with them, and they basically leave it alone when they drive the sheep across the river, and they move with the sheep grazing with their heads down. The friends chased each other and splashed each other with sand, Ya picked up a lot of small pebbles on the beach, and sat there to build castles with sand, and the pebbles were all kinds of small animals. She muttered, "This is the home of the little bear, this is the home of the little lamb, this is the home of the little white rabbit...... and she played with these things with relish, which turned out to be the great joy of childhood. Why do you still think of these scenarios?

Dad also kept a lot of bees in that small yard, and when he cut the honey, Dad and Mom wore gloves and covered their faces with a cloth, revealing only a pair of eyes. At that time, the sisters were often stung by bees, and they watched the needle-like thorn on the bee's arm tremble, and it hurt so much, that they beat the bee with their hands, but the sting pierced the skin. Later, Ya heard that once the bee pierced its sting on a person, the bee would be equivalent to losing its life, which made Ya feel an indescribable feeling. The honey was so sweet, once, Ya was reluctant to drink it, and it took two or three days to bring it out, and her father asked her to pour it out, saying that it would not taste good after a long time. She was very reluctant, but she still threw it away, and she felt so sorry after pouring it.

There, Ya remembers one night, she seemed to be drunk, and slept until dawn, but she only drank a small glass of wine. My father was not usually addicted to alcohol, but he was used to drinking a few small glasses of wine every day. The small wine cup was exquisitely clear, similar to the shape of a goblet, with thin little feet, and the body of the cup was very small, about enough for a toddler to take a sip of water. It's not so much that my father likes to drink, but that I like to enjoy that quiet time. As a busy day passes, so do your worries and anxieties. Taste the aroma of wine and feel the joy of life. He once had nothing, but now he has a few lively and lovely children, although the life is hard, but this is not an achievement, is not a kind of joy of life?

My father often has leg pain and back pain, so maybe drinking alcohol can relieve some of the pain. In Ya's memory, her father never seemed to stop smoking and drinking, but it seemed to be relatively cheap tobacco and alcohol. One night, his father drank and asked Yaya to drink a small cup, and Ya soon felt dazed, so she went to bed. By the time she woke up, it was already dawn. When she fell asleep, her father and mother took her sisters and sisters to a house, whether it was grandma's house or uncle's house, Ya couldn't remember clearly, but regretted why they didn't wake up and go too? Presumably it was a few days of the Mid-Autumn Festival.

During the Mid-Autumn Festival, you can always eat big round moon cakes, which contain sweet red and green silks, as well as black and white sesame seeds, peanuts, etc. In Ya's childhood memories, mooncakes should probably be like this. Now the moon cakes are getting smaller and softer, and even the moon doesn't seem to be as bright as it was when it was a child. At that time, Ya and the sisters often looked at the moon, jumping with their hands outstretched, and shouting, "Grandma Yue, Grandma Yue, come down quickly." "When I was a child, the moon was the image of the kind grandmother of the moon, which was not associated with the lonely image of Chang'e in the moon that I heard later.

Throughout the ages, people have left a lot of texts about fine wine, and some people have a lot of ideas when they drink alcohol, and inspiration comes to them as soon as they smoke, and tobacco and alcohol do not seem to be as heinous as advertised, and even bring people spiritual pleasure. Like Ya's husband's grandmother, she must drink one or two drinks a day, otherwise she will feel pain all over her body and have no strength to do her work. Although she was so thin and small, and she was hunched over and walking with a cane, she was able to carry a bucket to feed the pigs. She has always been in good health and spirit, except for crying in her early years due to the loss of her child, and often holding eye drops, there is basically nothing wrong.

This made Ya think that there might be something mysterious about wine, and she thought: one day she will cultivate this habit herself, and drink some wine regularly and quantitatively, maybe she can prolong her life. Ya once met a female colleague in the factory, in her 40s, medium build, very thin, high cheekbones, and pointed chin. Every few days, she has to buy some chicken feet, buy a small bottle of two-pot head, and sit in the dormitory to eat. Seeing her enjoyment, Ya's heart swelled with envy.

Ya's younger brother also loves to drink, and often drinks and doesn't eat. He is a bit similar to his uncle, who is a righteous person, has many friends, likes to drink, and when he drinks, he seems to be in order to show heroism or something, he usually doesn't eat vegetables and only drinks, but only drinks so much that his face is flushed. Ya feels that there seems to be some mysterious power in wine that can capture people's hearts, control people's nerves, and make people enjoy that unique pleasure, and sometimes she wonders: Is it possible to cultivate the habit of drinking some wine every day?

However, before this habit was formed, she never felt that wine was good again, and she didn't believe anyone who said that it was good wine. In Guangzhou, once she and her husband got angry. Her husband's speech was hard to listen to, which greatly broke her heart. She thought of herself as a city girl, who didn't care about the old furniture of her husband's mud house, but only wanted him to care about herself, who knew that he actually said something that hurt herself, and even disliked herself, at that moment she was very desperate, feeling that her efforts were not rewarded, and she felt heartbroken......

That time, she went to the market to buy a pound of sorghum wine and a bag of peanuts, and her daughter was still in Guangzhou at that time. She swallowed the spicy taste of the wine, hoping that the alcohol would numb her nerves, so that she would not know what the pain was. However, my head was dizzy, and I was floating when I walked, but my chest was turned outward in bursts, especially my head, which hurt so much that I almost wanted to hit the wall. She kept vomiting in the bathroom, eager to vomit everything she had eaten, and it was so uncomfortable to be drunk, and she no longer envied others for drinking.

When her husband came back from work, she had fallen on the bathroom floor and couldn't get up, and she heard her daughter say in a daze: "Dad, Mom is drunk and lying in the bathroom." The husband picked her up and said, "Do you think you still look like a person?" Spit up all over your hair. He carried her to the bathroom, washed her hair and bathed her, and changed into a nightdress. Then she slept groggily for two days, and the headache never completely resolved. Later, Ya no longer envied the people who drank alcohol, and no longer felt that the wine was mysterious. Nothing should be excessive, and excessive will make people happy and sad, and it will be counterproductive.

In Ya's impression, they later moved again, in a compound, where the neighbors were very harmonious. At that time, when a neighbor was on a business trip to Shanghai, his father asked him to buy a dress for each of the Ya sisters. Ya remembers her blue corduroy blouse with small hand-embroidered flowers on it, which is very beautiful and delicate. It seems that in two or three years, when the Spring Festival arrives, my mother will take it out and put it on for the Ya sisters, and as long as it is the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, she will take it off and put it in the box. The clothes I bought were also a bit big, and my father said that I could wear them again during the New Year next year, which was the most beautiful dress that Ya thought was when she was a child. Grandma said that although my father was a man, the clothes he bought for his daughters were quite beautiful and the colors were very beautiful.

My sister was very white when she was a child, her hair was yellow, and there was a little curly, her father bought her a linen-colored dress, and took her to the street on a bicycle, many people said that she looked like a foreign doll, and her father preferred to take her out. In Ya's impression, her father rarely seemed to take her alone, and usually went out with her sisters. Ya is actually not ugly, but she is a little chubby since she was a child, and she doesn't like to talk, and she feels a little dull and mumu. Unlike their older siblings, they all have large eyes that give them a sparkling feeling. Ya is the kind of eyes that are not big or small, they are not big when they are slightly fat, they look bigger when they are thin, and the image they shine out looks bright and good.

The small courtyard was inhabited by my father's colleagues, and there was a neighbor grandfather who was very kind to the Ya sisters, and often went to the cafeteria to buy them the kind of white and empty steamed buns. Ya has always thought that it is her own grandfather, in fact, she also knows that her grandmother's grandfather is always lying on the hospital bed, and her grandfather doesn't seem to have any affectionate behavior towards her, and even in the impression that grandpa has never hugged her or coaxed her. But the neighbor's grandfather was very kind to the Ya sisters, and her mother said that when she went out to work with her father, she often handed her sister over to the neighbor's grandfather, and the neighbor's grandfather also liked the Ya sisters. Children, in fact, whether they are neighbors or relatives, as long as you are good to him, he will like you as a relative, regardless of whether they are related by blood or not.

When her mother said that she was going to give birth, she was washing a big basket of clothes by the river, washing and washing, and felt uncomfortable in her stomach, she insisted on going home after washing, and then handed her sister to the neighbor's grandfather, and said to him: "Uncle, I guess I'm going to give birth, you coax the child first, I went to the city hospital, and the child's father came back, you tell him." ”

Not long after my mother arrived at the hospital, she gave birth to Ya. The few children born to my mother were all born naturally, and they didn't seem to suffer much. However, it is said that when she gave birth to her sister, her mother died in pain, and when Ya and Ya's younger sister and brother were born, her mother did not suffer so much, and they were born soon.

Mom said that she hadn't gone out to work for two years after giving birth to Ya, and she had a lot of milk, and Ya was fed white and fat. Grandma said that she went out with Ya, and everyone said that Ya was white and fat, and her arms were like lotus roots, much like dolls in New Year's paintings. Ya's family life was not good when she was a child, and the most common thing to eat at that time was sweet potatoes and corn grits. At that time, the sweet potatoes were really delicious, especially the kind of red flesh, and she had never eaten enough.

When she was a child, Ya was white, fat and ruddy-complexion, and her teacher said to people, "Her family life is not very good, but what does she eat?" Look at her skin so good! Red-white-red-white. "Good skin ended at the end of my student days, and since I started class, Ya's color has been getting worse day by day. Maybe when she was a student, she was focused on studying and couldn't care about too many annoying things, so Ya didn't have much emotional ups and downs. Of course, this is relatively speaking. After entering the society, interpersonal relationships, popularity, these all tortured her, and then she felt that she was not thinking about it, and slowly lost weight, from a slightly chubby girl to a skinny, yellow-faced girl, since then her good complexion is gone, so it can't be said that you can maintain a lifetime if you are born with fair and ruddy complexion.

The neighbor's grandfather has no children and no daughters in his life, and there is an old wife who can't give birth, and he is absent early, and he recognizes a godson, who is actually a colleague of his father. The neighbor's grandfather was a Hui, and then his godson also joined the sect with him. When the neighbor's grandfather was seventy or eighty years old, his health was completely exhausted, and his mother went to take his grandfather's clothes back and wash them in a few days, wash them and dry them, and then send them back to his grandfather. In the end, when the neighbor's grandfather couldn't move, his parents took him home to live. At that time, there were only two rooms in the house, and the outside one had a big bed that my parents slept in, and my grandfather slept on that big bed after he came. The big bed is a kind of red bed with carved edges, which is a bit like the ancient one, and it is said that it was also a bed given to my parents by my neighbor's grandfather for marriage, and my parents did not have their own house when they got married, so they rented a house to live in.

Now that I think about it, the bed is of good quality and the style is antique. Later, I bought a new bed and threw it away, but if I hadn't thrown it away, I might have been an antique now. At that time, the neighbor's grandfather could no longer move, lying in bed all day, and his father changed his diaper every day, wiped his feces and pee, his body hurt, and he cursed in pain when he changed his diaper.

It is said that before people die, there will be a phenomenon of returning to the light, one night, the grandfather who has been bedridden and relied on his parents to feed and wipe the feces and pee got up, he put on his shoes and got out of bed, when Ya was standing at the door, the grandfather asked: "Who is standing there, is it Xiaofei?" "My sister has been coaxed by my grandfather since I was a child, and my sister and sister Grandpa likes my sister the most, and when I heard my grandfather call the wrong name, Ya smiled embarrassedly and ran to the inner room and said, "Grandpa is okay, grandpa is up!" ”