The sunlight hit Zheng Xichen's cicada-like eyelashes, forming a small and wonderful shadow.

This shadow that seemed to be under the warmth covered the little half's bright, now tearful eyes. Her face, as white as white marble, looked even fairer in the sunlight, and even the subtle fluff could be seen, if not a tear stain, it was as dazzling as jade.

Zheng Xichen's face is very good-looking, his nose is straight but round, and his lips are also very plump, which looks like he has the effect of being quiet and good.

But her smile didn't match her face, and it looked unprovoked and pitiful.

Zheng Guoan can't describe what this smile looks like.

It seems that there is both sadness, enlightenment, and despair like ashes.

These complex, dull and subtle emotions mixed together, evoking a slightly sad smile on her face.

This made Zheng Guoan have to understand a little.

Zheng Xichen also knew about this matter.

She knew that the man didn't like her, and she knew that she wouldn't be happy, but she had to do it.

It's his own daughter, how can he bear it?

After a long while, Zheng Guoan thought that Zheng Xichen would not answer him, but Zheng Xichen still spoke slowly.

"I know, I know, I've always known it, but so what, aren't there some things that you know you can't do, father, this is what you taught me, do you remember?"

Zheng Xichen was slightly distracted, and the previous smell of gunpowder and resolute attitude were gone, looking very fragile and pitiful.

Of course, Zheng Guoan remembers.

Knowing that it can't be done, this thing really exists, whether it's for family or work.

And the most special thing is love.

But that was a long time ago, when Zheng Xichen's mother was still there.

In the evening, the family sat on the sofa watching TV, and the little Zheng Xichen was fiddling with some of his small toys.

"Xichen, what are you doing?"

A pair of big hands suddenly reached out from behind her back, gently and carefully hugging her.

"Haha, Dad, I'm going to build a castle out." The little Zheng Xichen has not experienced so much, and there is only immaturity and curiosity about the world on his face.

"Well, how about staying here obediently, how about Dad go in and see Mommy?" Zheng Guoan's face was full of exhaustion and heavy sadness, and only when he was with Zheng Xichen, he would show a hint of a smile.

But it's always superficial.

It's just that Zheng Xichen didn't find out.

Zheng Xichen piled up the building blocks seriously, and when he heard the word mother, he quickly raised his head, his big eyes were full of curiosity and concern, "Dad, why hasn't she come out yet, I miss my mother." ”

Such a casual question made Zheng Guoan's hand holding Zheng Xichen can't help but tighten, and then gradually regained his original strength.

Zheng Guoan barely squeezed out a smile, but there was no joy in his tone.

"Xichen is good, Mom, she's just a little uncomfortable, when she sleeps, she will come out to see Xichen, okay."

But Zheng Xichen, who has always been well-behaved, pouted rarely, and said: "I don't want to, Dad, Mom has been asleep for a long time, I haven't seen Mom for a long time, you call her out, Xichen wants to play with Mom!" ”

"Xichen ......" Zheng Guoan sighed and gently stroked Zheng Xichen's little head, very pity.

Looking at her eyes, which were almost seven or eight points similar to Xichen's mother, she couldn't tell any lies.

Zheng Xichen didn't see Zheng Guoan's melancholy face, and thought that his father was playing with him, so he grabbed Zheng Guoan's clothes with his little hands and coquettishly said, "Dad, just let me go and see my mother, okay, my mother definitely wants to see Xichen too." ”

Zheng Guoan didn't want his daughter to know about her mother's body, and she had always kept it a secret from Zheng Xichen on weekdays, but at this time, seeing her daughter's pitiful appearance, she was still a little unbearable.

"Mom must be asleep, let's not bother Mom, okay."

He was afraid, afraid that Zheng Xichen would cry and make a fuss when he found out about her mother's condition, and even more afraid that she would be sad.

After all, Zheng Xichen is still such a young child, as long as she grows up happily and has a happy childhood, it is enough.

This kind of thinking is naturally no problem for a father, but his bad thing is that Zheng Guoan has always wanted to hide it from Zheng Xichen from the beginning, and he has never moved to tell her the truth.

It is precisely because of this that when he grows up, Zheng Xichen will resent himself so much, and he can't forgive Zheng Guoan.

This feeling of losing a family member and not being told is too bad.

Zheng Xichen later thought that if she knew that her mother was going to leave, she would not have listened to Zheng Guoan's words, did not go to see her mother, and was kept in the dark.

She really hopes to go back to more than ten years ago, the era when there was a mother, to stand in front of her mother's bed, and truly fulfill the responsibilities of a daughter, instead of being like a fool, stupidly watching her mother leave and doing nothing.

Zheng Guoan didn't think about it at all, whether he would resent him when Zheng Xichen knew the truth.

Because at this time, he was still looking forward to it, waiting, and felt that Xichen's mother's illness would always be fine.

Zheng Xichen lowered his eyes unhappily, and the glittering light in his big eyes dimmed.

"Okay."

At this moment, a gentle but tired female voice suddenly came from the room.

"Xichen, come in, mom hasn't seen you in a long time."

The voice was warm and clear, and if it weren't for that trace of exhaustion that couldn't be ignored, it really didn't sound like the voice of a seriously ill woman.

And the little Zheng Xichen didn't hear this, and hurriedly jumped up happily.

"Mommy didn't sleep!"

She flew into the bedroom like a young beast that saw a mother beast, and her young face was full of anticipation and joy for her mother, who she had not seen for a long time.

This made Zheng Guoan, who followed behind, feel a trace of sadness.

The moon is cloudy and sunny, people have joys and sorrows, and the most painful thing is the parting of life and death.

It's been on the same road for so long, but now it's about to be separated by death.

The woman half-lying on the bed is very beautiful, and this kind of beauty is different from the skin-like beauty of ordinary beauties, but a gentle temperament, a kind of eye-catching beauty.

The afterglow of the setting sun shines on the woman's face, with a warm orange-yellow color, and it looks very popular.

Zheng Xichen trotted over with his little short legs, happily held the woman's white five fingers, and said coquettishly: "Mom, Xichen hasn't seen you for a long time." ”

After that, he rubbed his little head on the soft quilt covered by the woman.

A trace of water flashed under the woman's eyes, faintly, as if it would fall in the next second, but it was never.

"It's been a long time since I've seen the sunset."

Zheng Guoan stood beside him, looking at the happy atmosphere of the mother and son, he stopped talking, and finally glanced at the woman with difficulty, and said, "Xichen, can you go out to play, I'll talk to my mother about something." ”

Zheng Xichen pouted, holding his mother and not letting go.

"I don't want to, I'm not leaving, I'm going to accompany my mother!"

"Obedient!" Zheng Guoan deliberately showed an angry expression.

"Guoan, forget it, let Xichen accompany me." The woman smiled softly, and the smiling appearance dispelled the gloom around her, leaving only the warm smell of the sun.

"Okay." Zheng Guoan still compromised and sat down on the other side.

"Peel me an apple." The woman laughed.

"Hmm." Zheng Guoan couldn't muster up his motivation at all, but he still bothered himself, went to the kitchen to wash an apple, and began to peel it.

The atmosphere was quiet for a while, and the family of three looked at each other, cherishing this hard-won meeting.

After a while, the woman sighed and said slowly.

"Guoan, don't continue to spend money on me."

Zheng Guoan's face changed greatly, and he reprimanded: "What do you say, didn't I earn money just to use it for you, don't talk about this!" ”

Zheng Xichen rarely saw his father angry like this, and he was a little flustered.

She didn't understand what her father was doing, she only knew that her father was angry with her mother, so she quickly stood up, grabbed Zheng Guoan's sleeve and shook it, and said, "Dad, don't be angry with your mother, don't be angry." ”

When Zheng Guoan heard this, he restrained the anger in his heart and said, "Dad is not angry. ”

And the woman still has that shallow smile, but if you look closely, it is clearly full of sadness.

Her voice was sad but firm, and she said word by word: "Don't continue, don't ...... anymore"

She is fed up, as long as there is a little expectation, it will be broken again, so she is fed up with herself struggling in pain.

Zheng Guoan's job is very good, and his family is considered a petty bourgeoisie, but since she fell ill, the situation of their family has become worse and worse.

Looking at the woman's grief-stricken appearance, Zheng Guoan held the apple and knife in both hands, slowly lowered his head, crystal water droplets dripping down from his eyes, and his shoulders were still trembling.

He knew that the woman was already fighting the disease as hard as she could, and he knew that she was in pain.

But how could he give up, making money, and paying for her medical bills was the only thing he could do, but the woman insisted on not wanting to, so she even left the hospital, and refused to even be hospitalized.

Every night when Zheng Guoan sleeps, he will feel her tossing and turning movements, and the painful moans from time to time.

He was obviously in good health, but he felt a feeling of suffocation, as if his body was aching.

But he didn't dare to comfort her.

He knew that the woman was not a person who liked to come to others, and if he knew that he was awake, the woman would definitely endure the pain and force a smile.

This pain is like a thousand cuts, and Zheng Guoan also feels the same way.