The house still retains the old look of my last visit. After his death, Cao Ge once went to the old house to sort out his mother's relics. But the so-called sorting is just a matter of putting things together. In fact, although my mother lived in this house, there was really nothing in the house.

I saw that the big teacup that my mother used before her death was washed by Cao Ge and put in a corner of the wall. Next to the mirror on the wall, there is also a comb used by my mother. In this small space, the figure of the mother wanders everywhere, full of the breath of the mother's life.

It seems that every inch of land I walk here, I can remember the bits and pieces I had with my mother before I went to Cao's house. I stopped the sour rush that came back from the bottom of my heart. Yes, I'm not going to be sentimental, I'm looking for something. After observing it for a while, I sat down in my chair and thought about the conversation between my father and the bearded man. The father said that his mother had mentioned it to him before she died, saying that the things had been burned. Isn't that the time my father went to the hospital? Is it burned or not? Let's find out. In fact, on that day, I was also holding a fluke mentality, trying to find some clues and clues about the accident.

I rummaged under the bed, through the cupboard, through some place where it might have been, and finally, behind the large mirror that had been set on the wall, I found a few pieces of paper pinned to the corner by my mother. I took it out, three in all. These three sheets of paper, two white and one yellow, look like they are some years old.

I sat on the edge of the bed, opened the folded paper, and read it carefully.

The yellowed one roughly means: My mother became pregnant and decided to give birth to me, which was her own voluntary act, and had nothing to do with Cao Mu, and promised that she would not use me as a threat to do anything unfavorable to Cao Mu in the future.

This second agreement, the content is simple and straightforward, borrowing money. I calculated the date of the loan, and it happened to be the time when I scratched Kan Tao. It said that the mother had borrowed two thousand yuan from the father and asked to pay it back within a year. And I transferred my hukou to the Cao family and put it in the name of my grandmother's hukou, and my mother was not allowed to enter and leave the Cao family at will without permission in the name of visiting me. What surprised me about this agreement was not my account, but the borrowing of borrowed money and the repayment of repayment.

The last one, hehe~ It can be regarded as subverting my three views. That's something I didn't even think of – the cost of treatment. The date of the signing of that agreement was not long after I joined the Cao family, that is, shortly after my mother had borrowed a sum of money. Each of the words on it is more glaring. The mother did not pay for the treatment due to illness, and the father gave the mother 10,000 yuan, and the mother paid off the 2,000 yuan in the second share on the spot. That is, the mother signed with 8000. And this money, my father took it out, there must be a condition, right? The condition is that if you want the 10,000 yuan, then, Cao Muxi, I, Cao Mu, are only responsible for raising me to the legal age of 18 years old, and all subsequent expenses such as education, medical care, work, life, marriage, etc., have nothing to do with Cao Mu.

At the bottom of each agreement, there is a father's autograph, a mother's crooked handwriting, and even a handprint.

The red dot with my mother's fingerprint popped up on the three pieces of paper, and it hurt me. I once thought that my father, who was closest to me after my mother's death, had now crossed the test of conscience and was sentenced to death.

I'm a deal between a father and a mother, right? Yes, a naked deal. From the beginning of my entry into Cao's house, my father already knew about my mother's illness, and then took 10,000 yuan and paid back 2,000. Two thousand pieces, it's just a glittering expense, and he needs a woman who gave birth to a daughter for him to pay it back? Can't afford it, can it be paid in installments? Yes, I should be thankful that my father didn't have to pay for installments.

He knew that his mother would not look for him at all if he had to, so he took 10,000 or 10,000 when he was sick. I couldn't help but laugh. I suddenly remembered the conversation he had with the bearded man just now, and he said that he was basically ruined now, and it was already God's punishment for him. Calculate? Count? I felt like I had a rush of blood going up, why? Because this is my own father, I am afraid that if I cast a curse on him, I will be damned! Don't curse me unwillingly!

Of course, at that time, my father really had nothing to be cursed with.

I don't know if my grandmother knows about this deal, whether she knows it or not, and now there is no way to verify it. How ridiculous would it be to know? Later, I thought, my mother is really bad, she will give me a boy, maybe my father will give me a little more, then my mother will live two more years? This is a blatant irony.

I don't know if I should pity my mother or pity myself, originally, my mother died, and I had given up on going to the disaster brought to myself and the people around me by this life experience, but that time, I wanted to, but God refused. He gave me a slap in the face when I first saw hope.

It's a pity that I'm not angry, Cao Cancan will choose to be optimistic and cheerful in the face of Aunt Qin's death and her father's mediocrity, while I am the opposite. I didn't tell my father about it, nor did I tell Cao Ge about it, I hid it in my stomach. However, I didn't fulfill my mother's instructions before she died, and I still chose to live with myself.

I can't talk about my psychological feelings at that time, it can't be said to be a feeling of being tricked, after all, it was my biological parents who played me. I can't blame my mother, on the premise that she didn't have money to help me settle the trouble, she sent me to the Cao family, and borrowed a sum of money, which still needs to be repaid. I could not blame her, and when she found out that she was sick and penniless, she had to open up to her father again and sign the three agreements that had betrayed my dignity and my mother's youth.

That's right, the role that God has assigned to me from beginning to end is shady and full of disgusting interests. Do you know what a disgusting thing it would be if family affection was stained with the word transaction? Unspeakable.

I may have really grown up, I think, I also learned to pretend overnight, I don't cry or make trouble, I just take it as if nothing happened. Therefore, my little emotions were not discovered by anyone in the Cao family for a while. However, when I left the door of Cao's house, my emotions were like that rampaging angry rhinoceros, causing trouble and fighting everywhere. Until the head teacher found Cao Ge again. And the content of that complaint was that I hit someone and injured the other girl's head.

That's right, I hit someone.

If you want to classify my mentality during that time as hate, I don't think it counts. To be precise, it was as if I had stacked all sorts of misfortunes on top of each other and returned them to the world, turning anger into cynicism. In fact, at that time, I didn't know what cynicism, I just felt that there was no one to rely on, no one could be trusted, the ugliness and darkness of human nature had subverted my cognition, so I chose to escape from the truth in my heart, I needed to vent my unhappiness and emotions, and then, I had nowhere to vent, and finally gave it back to myself.

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