After going home, Cao Ge said to me earnestly, such as doing things is not what a girl should do, if you have a problem, you have to talk to the other party, you can explain it, why do you want to do it? and so on.

"I don't understand." I muttered back.

"Why don't you understand? If you don't understand, don't say it's okay, right? How can a girl be so short-tempered? ”

"Why not?" Basically, Cao Ge said one sentence, and I said one sentence. Later, as soon as she saw that the hard ones were not good, she began to come to the soft ones.

"Mu Xi, you listen to your aunt. Girls have to look like girls, and they can't fight at every turn! Look at it, how many girls around you do it without saying a word? Boys are naughty, boys' personalities are stronger than our girls, they may generally fight impulsively, this girl will smash her head on a stool at every turn, what has happened? In this way, who will dare to marry you in the future! ”

"I didn't think that far. Besides, there are so many examples around, people are kind, and they are bullied! I said yes, and stood up with my bag in my hand, ready to go upstairs.

As a result, his father suddenly said behind him: "Mu Xi, you weren't so tough before, why did you become like this now?" ”

I turned my head: "What was I like before?" Am I going to be tough now? Disobedient, isn't it? Isn't that up to you?! With that, I ran upstairs in a puff of smoke. I knew that the hall on the first floor after I disappeared, Fang Cai's words, must have made all three of them nervous and flustered.

It was the first time I had fought back head-on with my father, and before that, although I didn't talk much, I wouldn't have had such sharp words and such abnormal behavior. They don't know why the obedient girl suddenly became like this?

Why?

Because I brought my mother's three agreements back home. I will take it out and take a look when I have insomnia, I tell myself, Cao Muxi, don't feel good about yourself, in this world, behind all the good surfaces, there is a transaction of darkness and conscience!

It is said that these peers have a common language and can guess each other's careful thoughts, which is true. Cao Cancan once came back, he found my abnormality, and there have always been correspondence between her and Kan Tao, Kan Tao told her that I have recently become like a hedgehog in school, I see anyone piercing, sometimes, inconspicuous things, I have to get angry, and every time I get angry, I have to fight, he doesn't know what happened to me, so he said that I have changed a lot, and it is not the same as before. So, Cao Cancan came back that day and chatted with me after dinner.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Me? What's wrong with me? "I had headphones in my ears and shook my head as I listened to the Walkman, which was just becoming popular at the time.

She pulled my headphones off: "What's going on?" ”

"Nope." I answer briefly.

"You're lying, Cao Muxi. You can fool others, but you can't fool me. I sat down in a chair and looked back at her, "Haha, you went to high school and have clairvoyance, don't you?" ”

"Nope. It's just that the two of us are too similar, so there is no such thing as a secret. ”

"Let's two, like?"

"Like. Sympathy. After Cao Cancan's words were finished, I suddenly chose to turn off the music and took off my headphones. I dragged a chair over to her, and just like that, Cao Cancan sat across from me.

"If you don't want to say it, then don't say it. But, I heard Kan Tao say, you have become a thorn in the head in school now? ”

I laughed, "Thorn head? Haha, he's really good at making trouble, and he stabs his head. ”

"I want to tell you, no matter what happens, you must not look for the pleasure of revenge in yourself, that would be too stupid." Cao Cancan, who went to high school, seems to have become a big girl, and her speech is more profound, and she even grows half a head taller than me. However, although it is profound, I can understand it.

Actually, what she said is right, I know, what Cao Ge said is right, I also know. But what did you tell me to do didn't happen? I can't do it, it's as simple as that.

I didn't answer her directly, but I asked her a rhetorical question: "Have you come out of hatred?" Cao Cancan was obviously stunned: "No." ”

The corners of my mouth crooked: "Me too." ”

"You're not like me. Although I still hated my dad and hated his unkindness to my mother, I didn't give up on myself.

"Neither do I." I just grabbed a sentence and said it.

"You? Cao Muxi, I have also come from your age, and I didn't have a better time than you at that time, I just want to tell you that if you continue like this, you will only make yourself more and more tired and sad. ”

That night, Cao Cancan told me a lot, but I didn't understand it, but I didn't take it to heart at all, and I still went my own way.

I know that although I insist that I am not giving up on myself, in fact, what is the difference between what I am doing and giving up on myself?

During that time, don't say it's a matter of public opinion, I basically became a "sister" in school. My changes gave Cao Ge a lot of headaches, but during that time, I just got married to Cui Yu, and I couldn't be busy with my own affairs, so I had less and less time to care about me. And I didn't listen to my father's words at all, and I didn't give him a chance to say them. So, I started skipping classes and going to a small game hall on the street, and later to surf the Internet in a budding Internet café.

After Cao Ge found out, he began to try to control me from his pocket money, and as a result, I was able to negotiate monthly payments with my boss. She started to think of other ways again, but neither way, it didn't work. So, she slowly felt tired, after all, I was too old to manage, and gradually gave up on me.

This kind of loose state made the school want to expel me, and the head teacher began to retain, saying that the child may have been stimulated by the death of his mother, and he will be fine in a few days. Later, Cao Ge went to intercede. But I got into trouble at school again and again, and the principal was very annoyed. In the end, if Xue Hao hadn't found someone, I might have lost my student status in the second semester of the second semester of junior high school.

After repeated offenses and repeated teachings, the teacher had no choice but to take me, and slowly, the teacher gave up on me.

In my third year of junior high school, not only did I not have the intention of taking the high school entrance examination, but I also got to know a lot of undesirable young people in society. Looking back on that time now, I think it's funny. Facts have proved that the downhill road of people is really too easy to walk. You feel like you've done nothing bad, but after one and two, what are three, four, five? That's just the numbers. It was like a slide, and it went down to the bottom in a puff of smoke.

I still remember that when Cao Ge persuaded me for the last time, he already had a big belly. Halfway through her speech, I teased her: "Sister-in-law, don't talk about it." After a while, the baby in the belly was annoyed. She cried and asked me, "Can you tell me what happened?" I don't believe that nothing happened and you became like this. Impossible. ”

I tapped her on the shoulder, but still didn't say anything.

The reason I don't talk about it is because I don't think it's necessary. To say it or not to say it, this has already happened, directly related to the people and the impact, and in the end, isn't it still the same for me to digest? It's not that if I say it, I can pretend that it didn't happen. Besides, if you don't say it, isn't your dad still that daddy? Mom, isn't it still the same? I don't want to listen to my father's defense, and I don't want to listen to Cao Ge and them tell me how confused my father was back then. It seems that after such a long time, I have almost memorized their lines, which is not interesting or meaningful.

The relaxation at that time was that I went against the wishes of everyone around me, and the more I surprised them, the happier I became.

I still remember when I was in junior high school, before the high school entrance examination, Kan Tao and I were still in the same class, but the two of us were no longer at the same table at that time. In junior high school, seats are arranged according to academic performance, and people like me who don't even pay attention to their studies don't need to mention grades. I remember one day, I saw Kan Tao's mother at the school gate, and I stepped forward with a hippie smile: "Hello Auntie! "As a result, the funny thing is that Kan Tao's mother patted her heart like I had the plague, muttered something in a low voice, and jumped out of the way at once.

I hid behind a tree by myself and laughed backwards. What am I laughing at? I was laughing at the time, this person, is it considered a bully of the weak and afraid of the hard? Is it considered to be a person who is afraid to avoid when he sees a disgusting person? Am I nauseous? Now that I think about it, it's actually not, just like in the eyes of Kan Tao's mother, I'm a bad boy, yes, a bad boy.

That day, when I was hiding behind a big tree and laughing, I suddenly saw Kan Tao sitting in the car, rolling down the window when passing by the big tree I was hiding from, and kept looking at me until I couldn't see. I didn't dare to look at him, I was afraid to see the doubt and disappointment in his eyes.

That day, I also understood that my clear and transparent blue sky, my youth that had nothing to do with love, had ended.

I can't remember the results of the college entrance examination clearly. Anyway, it was my family who spent money to choose a high school for me.

Kan Tao did not go to Cao Cancan's sixth middle school in the end, but was admitted to another school. But to my surprise, Cao Cancan was not depressed and sad because of this.

I said that I like Cao Cancan's character, just like I teased her later: "Kan Tao didn't go, aren't you sad?" ”

"Sad about what?"

"Sad, your Prince Charming grew wings and flew away?"

"Prince Charming? Do you really think that I fantasize about what kind of result I can have with Kan Tao? Haha" Cao Cancan kept laughing when she said this, she laughed very seriously, I could see that she was not pretending.

"I thank him for bringing me back to life, and for having him as my spiritual companion in those days when I felt like the sky was falling. But don't overcomplicate a lot of things. In fact, Kan Tao is just a product of spiritual sustenance in my life, a special period, my life, no matter what time I go, I will be especially grateful for his existence, but this existence has nothing to do with possession, and it may not have anything to do with liking. I am a kind of gratitude to him, thank you. If there is a fate, maybe, in the future, I will give him some gifts. Haha~" Cao Cancan said very easily and humorously. However, as I listened, I seemed a little sad.

Cao Cancan is the kind of person who looks like a bull on the surface, but in fact, she still has a very good mentality, she will enlighten herself, and adjust herself according to the situation. Later, I thought that in fact, Cao Cancan is also a person who lives quite clearly. But her understanding, unlike her grandmother and Zhang Jing, her understanding, first of all, is the existence of positive energy and knows what she wants. Second, she doesn't impose the process on others in order to get a certain result.

That's good.

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Sogou