"I have a deep memory of being there, and it comes from you. Su Guo, because of you, I always can't forget the place in Nanjing, and I always think that if I can go back to that time, I will tell you in person how much I care about you. ”

After the Qinhuai River cruise, Lao Liu and Jiang Mo didn't know where they went. Su Guo's stomach hurt so much that she broke out in a cold sweat, but she gritted her teeth and walked back to the hotel without saying a word, she didn't want Qin Yao to think that she was weak, and she could die or live like a big aunt like other girls. But in fact, she was really in pain that day, and she didn't take it away when she covered her stomach with her hand, even if Qin Yao was ignorant, she should have seen her strangeness. But that day, Qin Yao seemed to have something on his mind, and he was absent-minded about what he was doing, usually he could at least respond to a question from others, but he hadn't even heard anyone say anything that day. If Su Guo could pay attention to him as before, then she might be able to notice the tears shining in his eyes on the Qinhuai River that night.

"Something, something from the past, something I wanted it to rot in my stomach, but it changed who I was that day."

Qin Yao barely slept well all night that day, and girls kept knocking on his room door to confess to him, and after the confession, he fled without waiting for his reaction, and some girls didn't even come to confess, but purely to scold him to say goodbye to the past and youth. Qin Yao would open the door politely every time, and listened patiently, whether it was a girl crying or scolding, he was not moved in the slightest, he stood quietly behind the door, expressionless and indifferent.

It wasn't until the end that Su Guo came running in her pajamas, she heard about the girls coming to Qin Yao one after another to confess, but she didn't stop it at the beginning, she came to Qin Yao after making sure that no one would show up again. The male classmate who lived with Qin Yao had already gone to sleep in the next room, and Qin Yao was the only one left in the room.

The door was not closed, Su Guo pushed the door in, and saw Qin Yao, who was sitting in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, with two or three canned beer bottles scattered around him, and the wine bottles were already empty.

"Say whatever you want," Qin Yao's voice was flat, "Remember to help me close the door when I go out, thank you." ”

Qin Yao regarded her as a girl who came to confess, Su Guo sat behind him on the ground, only a palm's distance from him, such a distance made her unable to feel the body temperature on his body, but it allowed her to lean on his shoulder as soon as she lowered her head.

"When you're tired, go to sleep." She murmured, drunk in the night.

"You're here." Qin Yao heard her voice, but he didn't look back, looking out of the window where the lights in front of him were scattered and almost silent.

"They're just...... Speaking what is in their hearts, maybe they think they will not have a chance to say it in the future. Su Guo thought that Qin Yao was worried about those girls.

"Yes," Qin Yao sneered, "What about you, do you have anything to tell me?" ”

Su Guo shook his head, "No." ”

"No?" Qin Yao looked back at her suspiciously.

Su Guo smiled, "Because I don't think I will have a chance to talk to you after today." ”

"Who gave you this confidence?" Qin Yao, who had drunk wine, lost his usual indifference and difficulty in approaching, and in Su Guo's opinion, he was a lot more vibrant, like a cannibal fireworks.

So she couldn't help but stretch out her hand, and the tip of her index finger fell on the center of his eyebrows, "Myself, my own self-confidence." Whoever gives confidence is useless, only if you believe in yourself, you are really full of confidence! ”

Listening to her words, he smiled, Su Guo liked Qin Yao to laugh, even if it was sneering, ridiculing, and sneering, she liked it all, because Qin Yao would only laugh in front of her, and when he laughed, his eyes must be full of her.

"You're ridiculous."

"What?"

"Do you think you're any different from those girls?"

"I ......"

"Oh, there's still a difference," Qin Yao blocked the hand she put on his forehead, pinched her chin with his thumb and forefinger with his backhand, and looked at her face, "The difference is - your family lives upstairs from my house." ”

Su Guo felt that the pain of the eldest aunt was not at all one ten-thousandth of Qin Yao's heartache!

Su Guo didn't overdo it, stubbornly didn't let her tears fall out of her eyes, over the years, this was not the most ugly thing Qin Yao had ever said to herself, he was willing to say it, she could hold back her heartache. As long as she doesn't give up for a day, there will always be a day when she is close to success!

"Qin Yao, I'm willing to gamble and lose." Fifteen years later, Su Guo finally said to Qin Yao, "I lost", Su Guo felt that the moment he was willing to admit that he had lost was not as painful as he imagined, but a kind of relief.

"That time in Nanjing, I should have thrown in the towel. Then the two of us don't have to be like this, at least we can be friends. ”

Qin Yao took everything quite lightly, and Su Guo understood that it was due to the fact that he valued certain things when he was a teenager, but he was easily abandoned and hated. So he buried his likes and cares deeply, he didn't let anyone know, and he didn't have to let people see jokes when he lost them.

Therefore, if you are as proud as Qin Yao, you can't be a lover with yourself, and you can't be friends.

"If you mind, I can pretend I don't know you. I don't care if I am friends or not. "He has his pride, and she has her dignity. Qin Yao slapped her every time and threw a piece of candy, she was really fed up!

"Su Guo!" Qin Yao grabbed her hand.

"Let go of me!" Su Guo struggled, trying his best to resist Qin Yao's touch, "Qin Yao, let go of me!" ”

"I won't let go, Su Guo, I won't let go, why should I let ......" Qin Yao used unshakable stubborn strength to pull Su Guo's body closer to him and let her lean into his arms, "I don't want to lose you, Guoguo, will you come back?" ”

When Lao Su spoiled his daughter, he would call "Guoguo" affectionately twice; Aunt Fang will also call her "Guoguo Guoguo". But Qin Yao has never, not when he was a child, not when he was in school, even when he fell in love later, they called each other by their names, what a baby dear Hani, Qin Yao never called Su Guo by the nickname between these couples. Although Su Guo will also regret it, she understands Qin Yao and knows that his personality is like this, for Qin Yao, Su Guo, Guoguo, Bao'er and the symbols in mathematics are no different, they are just a certain kind of code, Qin Yao will not change his feelings towards you accordingly because of changing these titles.

But he now calls her "Guoguo", using the affectionate name he used to never speak, revealing his fear and helplessness about the loss of her. It turned out that it wasn't that he disdained affectionate titles, but that he didn't care enough about her in the past. And now, he was scared, afraid that he would really leave him, a man who he thought would love him for the rest of his life and chase after him, finally decided not to love him anymore and left him.

"Why are you?" Su Guo understood the disparity in strength between herself and Qin Yao, she gave up the struggle and let Qin Yao hold her, "What qualifications do you have to keep me from leaving?" Qin Yao, how can you be so selfish! When you said to leave, you left me alone, I don't blame you, I can forgive you; Later, you appeared in front of me with Xiao Ye, and I never resented you, you have the right to pursue others; Then you begged me to get back together, and I dare not say that I did not waver at all, until at last you left me again, and I still did not blame you at all. Because this is your choice, Qin Yao, whether you go or stay, I will never interfere with the choice you make! ”

"It's because, because you don't intervene! You can intervene...... You can say to me Qin Yao, don't go, stay. But you never say, you always let me go, you don't care about my departure! ”

"Qin Yao, do you have any energy!" Su Guo struggled to break free from him, and said bitterly, "It's you who want to leave, it's me who you left without hesitation!" In the end, I blame me for not keeping you! Qin Yao, how can you be so selfish and shameless! ”

People in the world will have to wait until a long time has passed, when the people of the past have left, to understand that the things they have given up are what they cherish and care about the most. However, what is lost is lost, and what is truly lost can never be recovered.

Qin Yao subconsciously covered Su Guo's mouth, letting her tears drip on the back of his hand, he looked at her eyes, those eyes that had only been his own figure since he was twelve years old, and now he no longer liked him fearlessly. Qin Yao understood better than anyone else that it was he who ruined all this and discarded the most precious feelings between them with his own hands.

But how reluctant he was! Whether it was his departure five years ago or the current separation, Su Guo thought that his departure without regard for her feelings was accompanied by his heart-wrenching pain!

"Guoguo, I didn't mean to leave you," Qin Yao's tears turned out to be more turbulent than Su Guo's, it was the fact that he had suppressed for more than ten years and wanted to tell her to confide in her, the unbearable past that caused him to leave and made him lose her, "That time in Nanjing, it was the first time I drank alcohol, not because of the girls who came to confess to me, nor because of the coming-of-age ceremony." But on that day, I heard about something, no, not actually heard, it was a fact. ”

"No, I don't want to hear anything about the facts, none of this has anything to do with me!" Su Guo subconsciously wanted to escape from Qin Yao, she didn't want to hear Qin Yao say that he was indifferent to the reason why he left her in the past.

"I'm not my dad's ......"

But Qin Yao's words still successfully stopped Su Guo's footsteps from leaving, Su Guo stood not far from Qin Yao, she turned her head to look at him with difficulty, but she couldn't see his face clearly, and she couldn't see the sadness on his face clearly. Su Guo suddenly felt that he had never really understood Qin Yao for so many years.

Su Guo: Fuck your aunt hurts!