After living alone for a while, my heart seems to be much calmer. So, one day, I suddenly wanted to go back to school, so I packed my bags and left the place where there were good and sad memories.

Liu Zhen asked me to sell or rent out the vacant house, but after much consideration, I decided to keep it.

Returning to Liu Zhen's side again, she seemed very happy, but she was at a distance from me everywhere. On the day I dragged my luggage back, Shen Yue pushed the door in and saw me sitting on the edge of the bed. This time, I chose to dodge. My escape was not because of shame or timidity, but compared to my questioning of Shen Yue before, what a ridiculous existence I was at that time.

The ridiculous thing is not the chaos, but what Song Zitian said about me before, pinning his good wishes on others, but he turned the opposite, which in itself is a manifestation of a sick heart. Therefore, in the face of Shen Yue, I am actually shameless in facing my beautiful fantasy of human nature.

Shen Yue didn't say anything, just simply said hello. However, the silence of the atmosphere seems to have made the speechlessness and the silence at this time more vivid. Now recalling the scene at that time, the embarrassment that converged in the air is still fresh in my memory.

College life, from strange to familiar, when they are about to separate, from a common sense point of view, it should be more intimate, but as a result, it is more and more strange. That kind of strangeness is like a barrier built by age and experience, blocking the heart-to-heart and lungs between people. It's really not a sigh, time is a good thing, which makes people feel more distant in space and distancing themselves.

Li Kai knew about me.

He sent me a message one day that he still liked me and wanted to fill the gap in my relationship.

The day I received the text message, I was in a state of fire, grabbed the phone and replied cracklingly. I told him that even if all the men in the world died, it wouldn't be his turn! I asked him to be kind to Liu Zhen, don't eat the bowl and worry about the pot! I edited a lot of things like that, and then I sent them over. He didn't reply to me.

On the eve of graduating from college, Jiang Shanshan returned. Carrying a small bag, she seemed to be more mature than the last time I saw her.

"Oh, Cao Muxi, I've moved back! When did you come back? Where's your little nest of love? Jiang Shanshan said while chewing gum.

I sat across from her and lifted my eyelids to look at the woman with the purple eyeshadow: "Alive." ”

She was stunned for a moment, probably not expecting me to answer like this, so she opened her mouth and smiled: "It's good to be alive!" I thought it was a memory with my ex-boyfriend's dad. ”

"Don't bother." There was no emotion in my words, like narration, like playing the harp to the air to the cow.

"Well, don't bother. Classmates, you don't have to worry about such a big thing! ”

"Thank you. Just mind yourself. Your dad went in, right? I still said lightly, but the last sentence raised my voice and raised my voice.

Jiang Shanshan on the opposite side was obviously stunned, blinked her eyes twice, and didn't speak again. She was carrying something to go to the bathroom. When I first got up, I said to her, "Classmates, if you need help in the future, just squeak." ”

She walked to the door of the bathroom, turned her head and smiled: "Thank you in advance!" But whatever I Jiang Shanshan can do by myself, I basically don't ask for help. ”

I smiled.

Actually, I just said that sentence casually at that time. However, it is very much in line with the future. This degree of agreement made me wonder if I was born a prophet. After all, with our relationship, let alone help, I really don't want to see each other. But who knows, there will really be a day.

Before graduation, Liu Zhen asked me, "Mu Xi, have you thought about what job you are looking for?" ”

"Nope."

I really didn't. Especially after the incident of Uncle Elm, this work is a minefield for me. Besides, at that time, I didn't think about whether to go to other provinces to change the environment, so it was really a posture of taking one step at a time.

Although Uncle Elm has become a thing of the past, when I think about it occasionally, it will still become an insurmountable gap in my heart. I once thought that I was unwilling to let go of this past because of love, but in fact, mixed with it, there was also guilt for Song Zitian.

In the face of the many suitors around me, I was still silent. I found that even after the boiling public opinion, there was still no shortage of suitors around me. This kind of person, even I can't understand it, I have become a news figure with two major "news" on my body, is it possible that I am here to gain popularity?

Many years later, when I was chatting with a friend, I told him that the impermanence of the world is itself one of the most basic judgments in this world, and no one can escape it. People are always in the world of impermanence, hoping that reality can be closer to their own fantasies, but in fact, fantasy itself is not grounded, and besides, this society will not follow anyone's will to shift.

It's like the two uproars I experienced in my teens and twenties, one life experience and one emotion, all of which made me a joke after a human being. However, when the latter lifted me on the cusp of that monstrous wave, I suddenly found that I had more than before, except that my heart had a certain amount of capacity, and I would choose to do nothing. And where does this shamelessness come from? Die to shame.

People sometimes have too much obsession, to put it bluntly, just because they think of themselves too seriously.

After thinking about it, I decided to stay in Nanjing. Anyway, this city has too many feelings for me, and the kind of threads that are constantly being connected. I felt that if I left, I would miss it, so this was the reason for me to stay in Nanjing.

Cao Ge and Xue Hao found me two jobs, but I refused both. As I was about to graduate from college, I already had a certain understanding of myself, and I wanted to go my own way in the box rather than their formality and loss of freedom.

Liu Zhen did not return to her hometown, but also chose to stay. She said that even though her parents were relieved about her freshman year, the villagers in that town still liked to talk about it behind people's backs. Besides, I didn't feel that there was a generation gap between myself and my parents before, but in the past few years away from home, the distance has directly widened the family affection.

She was right. I feel the same way on this point. Between relatives, it is like a rubber band pulled, the distance is close, and it is naturally fine, but if it is far away, it will only be a lose-lose situation.

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Sogou