Even in the conversation with Cao Ge, I tried my best to stay relaxed and happy, but in fact, there was still a huge sense of loss in my heart in the face of this place I was about to leave.

I suddenly realized that the mediocre people who lived in my memory were already old. This kind of old age makes me panic about the future, and I am afraid that they will leave me one after another. I'm also scared that when I'm old enough to be their age, I won't have a story to tell. I sat on the couch all the time, feeling anxious.

It was only after dark that my father returned. When I said I was going to Toronto, my father's hand holding a cigarette was visibly shaking. I pretended to be calm and sat next to him. "Lao Cao, it's not like I'm not coming back." As I said this, I suddenly felt a little tremor in my voice.

The father snuffed out the cigarette and took a deep breath: "Your boyfriend, what's your last name?" ”

"What, check the household registration?" I said half-jokingly. Actually, I was a little disgusted by my father's inquiry.

"Mu Xi, my lord, I'm worried about you. After all, it's not the same as if you were going from one city to another in your country. If you want to go to a place where you are not familiar with life, it is a foreign country, and all aspects of life habits are too different from now, and the most important thing is that there is no one around you who knows you, which is too dangerous. Cao Ge said on the side.

"I'm not a three-year-old! Besides, my boyfriend is here, it's enough for me to know him! I picked up an apple and ate it while replying disdainfully at Cao Ge.

"You will always be a child in our eyes." As soon as this sentence came out, I did not argue with it. That's right, you'll always be a child in front of people who care about you.

So, I leaned back: "The surname is Zhao, and the name is Zhao Song." Check it out. Do you need an ID card or a household registration booklet? ”

Although I said Zhao Song's basic information, I was still reluctant.

I heard Cao Ge a little anxious: "Why is it a big age again...", she just said the word age, and the next words swallowed back raw. I know what she wants to say, she just wants to say, why is she so old?

Perhaps, Cao Ge knows me better, and she knows what I will answer if she asks such a question. Therefore, I simply swallowed it back into my stomach.

I could tell from my father's furrowed eyebrows and Cao Ge's expression that they were not optimistic about this boyfriend. However, for me, after an afternoon of deliberation, I decided that I was going abroad, and returning to Cao's house was just to inform me of my whereabouts.

"It's nothing, I'm going back." With that, I got up from the couch.

"How long does it take to get a passport?" Just as I was about to put on my shoes and step out of Cao's house, my father suddenly said something behind me.

"I don't know. However, even if it is done, if you leave, it will take a month. Father mumbled, and I turned and walked out the door.

On the way back to Zhao Song's house, I kept asking myself, even if I made a decision to leave Nanjing, but was this decision really the right one? Am I missing out on some of the moments in my life that I have to go through because of the days I have been away? Will I leave my life with regrets because I am leaving? Am I running away? Is it an escape? Am I hiding?

But what am I hiding? Growing up, it's been so long, I've experienced so many pains and experiences that others haven't had, I should be relieved when I grow up, but why do I still want to leave?

Later, I understood.

I'm not hiding, I'm proving my independent personality. But I was still panicking in the taxi.

Of course, this panic did not come without reason. Because I found that in the process of growing up, those mediocre people in my life are aging at a rapid rate, and I, on the way to their aging, from the heart, from the inside out, is gradually estranged from them. I was in a state of confusion for so many years, and until that day, I still lived without a backbone. I abandoned the so-called philistine, and in the end, I didn't even have the heart to disturb myself.

The strange light outside the car window reminds me of Liu Zhen who is struggling in pain, and her life has even been wiped out of her qualifications to disturb her children's affection. I lowered my head and looked at my hands. That's right, it's these hands, what have I done?

Think about it.

After Zhao Song told me about going to Toronto, he basically didn't mention it again, unless I followed his ass and asked and answered. Moreover, he looked visibly nervous and distracted. His appearance made me feel very strange, and I asked several times before I prevaricated all my questions with "I want to change places, I am a little nervous". I remember teasing him, "What do you have to be nervous about?" You're not running away! ”

And actually, I was wrong. It's not like escaping the famine, but the trip to Toronto is really not as simple as I thought.

In less than a week, Cao Ge called me back to Cao's house in a panic. I asked her what was going on, and she didn't explain anything on the phone, just told me to come back and meet again.

On the day I returned to Cao's house, as soon as I opened the door, I was really startled by the black people in the house.

After Cao Ge saw me open the door and enter the house, he hurriedly got up from the sofa: "Mu Xi, you come, sit here." ”

The atmosphere in the room was more solemn, and after I greeted Xue Hao, Cui Yu and others, I sat down next to Cao Ge. I put down my backpack and said, "What's wrong?" My father looked up at me, "I don't agree with you going to Toronto." Father's expression was serious.

Cao Ge on the side also echoed: "I don't agree either." ”

"Disagree?" I asked, confused.

"Yes. I don't agree with you going to Toronto. I don't agree with you and the guy named Zhao Song, going to Toronto, Canada. Father's voice was sonorous and powerful.

"Why?"

"Why?" Why did my father start to get angry?

"How old are you? Why can't you even tell the difference between good guys and bad guys now? What kind of person is that? Do you talk to him? How come you have one left and one right, and there is no normal person? ”

"What do you mean by one left and one right?" My father's remarks made me uncomfortable, so I began to refute them.

"Okay, let's not talk about that yet. Just your friend Zhao Song, he has changed 10 companies in 6 years, and in every unit he has worked in, the personnel evaluation of him is very poor. He is also facing a huge financial debt problem. You go to Toronto with him? Do you want to eat? He's going to hide from debts, do you know about debts? ”

On his father's forehead, the green tendons that erupted from anger were clearly visible.

When I mentioned financial debt, my heart twitched. To be honest, I don't know. However, in the Cao family, I still need to pretend to be so tough: "What's wrong with having financial debts? ”

"What's wrong? Are you a small child? Do you know what this huge financial debt means? ”

"He's in debt, and I'm not rich? I can pay it off for him! "I have a lot of words.

"You still? Why did you pay him back? Just because he's your boyfriend? Cao Muxi, you're not sick, you! The father was so angry that he got up from the couch.

"Mu Xi, in this matter, I really want to talk about you. I don't agree with you going to Toronto with this guy. You can go abroad if you want to, but you definitely can't live abroad with this person, in the relationship of boyfriend and girlfriend! Xue Hao sat on the sofa opposite and said as an elder.

()