Before entering the society, it seems that it is relatively simple to look at other people's so-called job hunting. And when it comes to yourself, you will find that no matter how easy-going you are, and you have penetrated this society to a certain translucent state, you will still raise your expectations. You will try to find a place that is more in tune with yourself and relatively perfect.

Of course, the result is basically the opposite.

Society, its underlying nature already determines that it will not come according to your ideas. It seems that it is a rebellious child, always working against you, and it will always prevail.

I didn't want to find a favorable environment to realize my own self-worth, in fact, I didn't have any value at all. I promised myself to be a social profiler.

And the reality later undoubtedly confirmed that I spent a lot of time on this useless society, and to be a soul analyst of the self, and as a result, I analyzed this society very thoroughly, but wasted all my youth. This is a very stupid and ungrounded act. However, at that time, my brain was like being filled with lead, blindly trying to explore some secrets and truths behind this human nature.

A Chinese friend of mine in Toronto once asked me, what gives you the courage to do such a boring thing? Allowing you to waste a lot of your time and youth on people who don't matter? When she asked me, I could see her anger and regret.

At that time, I took a sip of coffee and looked at the sea in the distance: "I think it may be the state of mind I have traveled all the way since I was a child, the things I have experienced, and the courage given to me by the people I have seen." I once wanted to analyze my father as a person, but before I could come up with any conclusions, I changed the object of my research because the beautiful image of the opposite sex in my young heart was broken. Later, I found out that I not only wanted to know what kind of psychology and attitude men have towards the so-called love in this dirty and filthy society, but I also wanted to know how many women like my mother and Aunt Qin in this world were living in this world without any sense of existence and grievance.

"The result?" My friend asked me.

I was speechless. After a pause: "As a result, I found that any person, anything, good or bad, is not forced to say, it is all voluntary. For example, my mother, Aunt Qin, Zhang Jing. Then I found out that I always felt that they lived a mediocre life, a worthless life, no sense of existence, even if they had their own survival goals, but they always went the opposite way. They have worked hard and they have been disappointed... In the end, I found that everything was just me, and the mediocrity disturbed me. ”

"So, you're right. The good or bad life, or whether or not they end up as they should, is their own choice. In this world, behind 10,000 people, there are 10,000 stories. Even if you want to dissect, you may not be able to do it all. Besides, while you dissect others, is your ending what you want? I think there is probably more than one person who has told you that people must live themselves first and then others. And you, just live, sang the opposite. ”

I smiled, "Yes, that's right. When my mother was alive, I had been singing against her, and I threw the first half of my resentful life to her as a "gift" of memory, I thought that hatred and hatred were like a solid in a space, and like a physical garbage, after I threw it away, someone would naturally deal with it. I was wrong, though. The difference between it and joy is that the time that joy lasts in the nerve endings is always only measured in hours, while hatred and resentment have a magic power in themselves, which extends to every inch of your body, and, counting, years. ”

"I guess if your mother were still alive, she wouldn't want you to be left deserted for so long, and only come to your senses until today."

"My mother?" I took a sip of coffee and said lightly: "I tried to repay my debt to my mother by dissecting human nature, but I always forgot that I am a mortal and do not know how to restrain myself. I gambled on a game about human nature, and I lost. If my mother is still alive, I guess the wind blowing on the face of the sea should be too strong to dissolve love. ”

Since there are still a large number of courses in the school that have not been completed, this job can only be a part-time job. As a part-time job, you can be more or less selective. I got a newspaper and spread it out on the table all day and looked around. Liu Zhen always stood aside with a cup and stared at it, she couldn't hold it back, so she leaned over and whispered: "There's no serious work up there." ”

I looked sideways at her: "What is serious, what is not serious?" ”

She always swallowed and stopped talking after I asked her.

Flipping through it, I decided to go to the bar in the middle of an insomniac night. And this decision, naturally, I will not talk to anyone.

On the day of the interview, with my good looks, I passed easily. The manager took me to the foreman. The foreman is a woman named Sister Hua, who is in her thirties and has a very bad temper. She looked me up and down and muttered, "It's a pity to be a waitress for this condition." I was stunned, but I didn't reply. I can also hear a little bit of the meaning of these words.

I decided on my working hours, signed a job sign, and went back to my dormitory. Liu Zhen chased after my ass and asked, "Mu Xi, have you found a job?" Where? More than a month? "Balabala's. I lied and lied to her that it was a small company and worked as a clerk.

"Clerk? Part-time? What kind of unit, clerks can work part-time? I was stunned: "Ah, it's just not busy, a newly opened small company." When she asked, I wouldn't reply.

And it's even more impossible for me to tell Song Zitian about this.

On my first day on the job, I went to the bar with my face open.

"You're a waitress in a hotel?! Don't know how to put on some makeup and come back? That's you, why don't you come in your pajamas? "Sister Hua reprimanded me in front of many people.

"Xiao Wan, bring your cosmetics to her, it's quite a big person, and I don't know how to clean up when I come to work in a nightclub! Also college students! No IQ at all. I took the bag from the girl and said thank you.

"Eh, my cosmetics are precious, you can save some of them!" Xiao Wan instructed before leaving.

I went to the bathroom and wiped the jars on my face. While she was drawing, Sister Hua pushed open the door: "Miss! You're on a sedan chair! Can you hurry up?! Here you go, I changed it directly in a while! With that, he threw me a suit of clothes, turned and rolled his eyes and went out.

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