Chapter 4: Trapped Thoughts

The longing for her grew stronger and stronger, and she made my heart move, fascinated, and even fell into irresistible emotional torment, not seeing her, not knowing what to do. When I walk, I will look for her shadow, hoping that she is right in front of me. For her sake, I used to walk and look around, constantly looking along the far ahead, and would not give up any chance to meet her.

Because sooner or later, we will have an intersection, it will be the arrangement of fate, it is only a matter of time.

I was "trapped and missing", thinking about everything about her.

******

I will still walk where we first met, to recall the moment when she smiled, that faint natural dress, simple and sweet smile.

She knows what I'm thinking? Her perfection is terrifying and closer.

Walking under the tree, caressing the shriveled trunk, to experience the scarred, so rough, so broken. The trunk of the tree began to slowly break and slowly opened, not corroded, and left to the sun.

The bark began to fall off layer by layer. Fall into a basin surrounded by tiles.

No one cleaned it up, and it accumulated more and more, slowly rotting along with the soil. Returning to his original self, the new life is to fall off again. Feel the scent of the earth again.

When the wind blows, the willow-like whiskers float to the side of the face and gently brush the face.

Touching the nose, touching the lips. That's the taste of life.

It's not used to sitting down, just standing under a tree. Even though her thoughts wandered, her shadow kept coming to mind.

Exhale softly, blow it away, blow it away.

******

I am still used to reading novels to relieve boredom. There are messy textbooks and desks next to the bed in the dormitory, and I haven't cleaned them up for a long time, and things are in a mess, and I don't know which one to bring to class every time. I hurriedly pulled out a novel from under the bed and went to class, and I was still confused on such days.

It turns out that it takes a long time to be freed from being bound by a person.

******

One sunny afternoon, I was going to the bookstore to buy online novels, I hadn't been to the bookstore for a long time, and I had read the books in the drawer N times. The pages of classic and funny fragments are all turned over, and the time to read a book is always the quietest and most natural. You just need to go with your feelings, and in contrast, you prefer beautiful and sensational words, and the bland storyline will still be imprinted in your mind. Being easily emotionally involved is also your weakness. A man who looks masculine on the outside, but is extremely soft on the inside. Like flowing water, I longed to blend into the ocean, into the surging tide, and experienced the sound of colliding with the reef.

Walking still makes me think, hesitate, and be in a daze. I don't even know where to go. I was set in a circle. That is imposed on oneself. It's invisible, it's empty, and it can disappear in an instant. The past is no longer repeated. I began to put my thoughts into emotional words, which touched the most sensitive nerves.

How many times words are a kind of sustenance, but also a continuation of longing.

Tidy up slowly and comb carefully.

******

After staring at the wall of the dormitory for a few minutes, he changed into casual clothes, sneakers, white, and gently pulled the laces. Don't dare to tie it too tightly. In the shape of a bow, I put down the trouser corners and cover them.

The pants are a bit long and already close to the ground. The tail already has a whisker.

Flipping through the quilt and not finding the belt.

******

I bought it with my sister at a street stall, ten yuan, and I often go to the town in the summer, and when I have nothing to do, two people ride bicycles, you chase me, compare speed, compare power. On the way to the town, there is often a strong wind and you will pass by very empty vegetable fields. It is also common to see elderly people busy in the fields. Sowing, spraying pesticides. It often smells bad when passing by. It was also the best moment to accelerate, and I would cry out in a frenzy, "Come after me." "Turn back as you ride. I don't look at the big truck that is coming to transport vegetables in front of me. The horn was loud enough not to deafen me. I kept pedaling, leaving her far behind. Sometimes I'll ride back and relax with my feet and ring the bell as I ride.

In the end, this thing was negotiated with the stall owner for a long time before it was bought, and the non-genuine product priced at 20 was finally bought at a 50% discount, and the stall owner still had a smile when he collected the money. Looking at the banknotes in the air, touching and touching, it feels very unrealistic, and even twenty yuan is afraid of counterfeit banknotes, which is a professional habit.

******

Visiting the town, my sister likes to eat snacks, the local fried buns can eat several, every time I can't eat it for her, she is not polite to me. But she always can't eat fat, she still has a thin face, her long hair covers it, and she can hardly see the outline next to her face.

Such outlines later began to blur as well.

It's slowly growing, it's slowly forgetting.

******

A belt was found on the wall, hanging on a large nail. Take it off quickly and wear it very skillfully. Don't wear pants that don't require a belt, such as sportswear.

I put the books away, some boring textbooks, they are simply used to stimulate and hurt brain cells, I don't want to hurt my brain like this, I am going to go outside for a ride, and by the way, I bring a few books, the air in the dormitory is not good. Turbid air can suffocate people.

******

Stinky socks are everywhere, garbage is more than the streets of the city, I don't want to stay here, the air is worse than the basement, the air is muddy, the dust is flying all over the sky, and underwear is everywhere. It's still very unsightly, sometimes surprise inspections (the school has sent the student union cadres to inspect once a week), you will see everyone busy sorting out their underwear, and later when the student union cadres inspected, they found a lot of smelly socks, and the underwear dazzled them.

It may be that what we hide is not too secretive, and then it is a surprise inspection, no time to tidy up, among them, some of them buried the underwear that has not been washed for a month directly in their own sheets, it seems that the hidden technology is really not very good, not to mention that it is the female compatriots who check the health of the boys' dormitory, and people are very shy to see it, it is said that some people quit the student union because of this, there are really many strange things in the world, because of this, we are very envious of the gay men who check the hygiene of the girls' dormitory, because they have the opportunity to see the girls' underwear show, but then I understand, No one saw it, so it can be seen that the girl's concept of hygiene is much worse than that of the boy, and later we called the person who checked the hygiene an underwear inspector.

Later, we had regular inspections, and we knew when the school was checking (a fixed Wednesday afternoon), so I saw an underwear show that collected underwear once a week, but no one watched it. Everyone was busy with their own work, and some people were happy for a long time because they collected more garbage and underwear than others - what a pervert.

******

I wanted to change the environment, it was a very quiet place, I hoped to meet her, my feet moved slowly, much like a criminal in prison, expressionless, this time I didn't lower my head, but I didn't see her approaching, she walked softly and silently, no wonder she was called a "beautiful ghost", this is true.

"Student Huang, you have to go out! How is it going? ”

She didn't wear a red dress, she looked a little simple and squeamish, and she spoke in a sweet tone. This time she didn't take the textbook, but held the novel in her hand, because I saw that the cover of the book had pictures of beautiful women and handsome guys, probably written by Koreans, because I saw very dreamy and cartoon characters. I don't have good eyesight, I can't see the title of the book, maybe it's related to love.

"Not so good!"

I looked up, looked at her face, looked at the fantastic little hand holding a book that was not very thick, and saw clearly, it was a popular web novel, and I couldn't see the author's name, because the cover was bright and shiny.

I added, "Yes!" It's a little stuffy! "It's not boring, it's boring.

I didn't blush this time, this time it was her unexpected appearance, and I didn't have time to get nervous, the first time I had such a natural conversation.