Chapter 5: What the hell happened to me

When we met, it always felt very restrained, I was adjusting to the tense atmosphere, slowly getting used to her smile, no longer strange to her, and feeling that I had found a long-lost shadow.

Such a vague shadow has found a home, slowly condensed and converged, and it is no longer an illusion, this is reality.

I think she's easy to get close to. She looked at me differently than others, and was no longer dismissive.

She rejected the kindness of others, and in the eyes of others, how cold, even cold, she was.

But there is always a faint smile on me. She said I was a depressed person. I still don't forget to laugh when I say it, but there is no malice.

She was the first to say I was depressed. In front of her, I had no disguise.

I only know that chatting with her will be happy, heartwarming, and stealing fun by myself.

And I'm still used to looking at her, looking at her face, her sexy lips.

But I rarely make eye contact with her, and some words are quickly transferred, I am afraid of being sucked by her, it is a high-load current, separated by air, separated by the distance of time and space, it is always tempting.

I saw that the book in her hand was very delicate, her hands were together with the book, placed in front, she was wearing short sleeves, and her skin was delicate and snow-white.

******

The one in my hand should be a popular online novel.,The current book is like this.,The cover is good-looking.,There's not much content.,The plot is repeated.,Laughter continues.,Maybe that's why online books sell well until now.,The only deficiency is that the quality is too poor.,Of course, I'm talking about piracy.,To be honest.,If I go to buy genuine books.,Then I'm not going to eat instant noodles every day for a month.,It's not worth it.,So every time I patronize pirated books.,It's just that the handwriting is blurred.,There are often typos.,It's obviously a problem with the printing press., It is estimated that the printing machine has not been certified by ISO9001 international certification.

I often frequented such places, the owner of the book seller and I got acquainted, and would give me a discount every time, I thought I was more special than others, but this is not the case, he would keep the books I wanted in advance, he said to try to keep them for me, clear. It's not much better if it's pirated in the first place.,Every time I buy it's a collection.,Several books by one author and together.。 The price was seventy or eighty, and it was later bought at a 50% discount. Piracy is different, the price is written by hand, and the ghost knows if it is the boss himself. I remember very well one time, when I bought the same book with a person, I had a higher price tag than him. It turns out that I have been slaughtered like a pig. At that moment, feeling cheated and sad for two days, I decided to support the legitimate cause and crack down on profiteers. Later, there was a serious imbalance between the financial revenue and expenditure, and it took two days to read the genuine book after buying it. Then I ate instant noodles for a week. The acne has grown a large patch, and like Guan Gong, it is full of red light.

When I went to buy books at the black merchant bookstall again, the boss swore to the sky with his hands and ten. The attitude is quite mild. He said to me, "Little brother, you are sincerely welcome this time, and my small shop still depends on you to run it." I have ..... ......"He said a lot of, and I was touched by his words. Decide to live with the feeling of being deceived. My fragile heart can't stand this.

After getting acquainted, I also hope to get a little benefit, I said, can I borrow the book? His eyes lit up and he shook his head. The expression is pretty cool. I said I promised not to break his book, just like the new book, not to fold, not to scribble. He said to me, if you don't do that, you can help me look at the stall, and I'll let you see it for free. I nodded and was secretly happy.

When I have time, I will help him look at the stall, he squatted not far away to find something to play, an adult, child-like naughty, read books and became fascinated, I often forget the things around me, and also forget that I am helping people to watch the stall, the book was taken by passers-by several books do not know, suddenly I was scared silly by a shrew's scolding, she pointed to a large pile of books and said who I am, I told her that I was the stall owner, she pulled out a book and threw it up, almost didn't smash it.

"Where's my husband?"

I was stunned for a long time before I realized what it was all about.

Pointing not far away. I saw the woman take the book just now and smash it at the stall owner. kept shooting like a monk knocking on a wooden fish, only to know that he had the pain of a shrew.

Later, he tried to help him look at the stall several times, but he kicked him out.

*******

I didn't read a book for a long time after that.

But I am not used to reading books, I will feel very empty, uncomfortable, and even unlucky. I remember that time, I came back from his stall, walked on the street, bought a string of two-dollar meatballs, suddenly a dog barked, I was frightened, my hands began to tremble, the meat skewers fell to the ground, and then I was taken away by the dog, I still didn't give up, chasing the dog, who knew that the dog was very smart, very good at detouring, when turning, I was in a hurry to chase the dog, knocked down an oncoming little brother, this time he flew out, the child kept crying, and finally had to spend money to buy meat skewers to coax him. I guess I'm unlucky.

"We Fell Out of Love Together on the Day of Graduation", which was very popular at the time, became obsessed with this type of novel, and I was so happy to be like her. I love to watch the works of the youth campus, I don't know what type she likes, it won't be romance, because she is an age that needs love, an age that longs to be loved, and maybe appearance occupies an important position. It seems that with her gorgeous appearance, she has a little more possibilities than ordinary people to fall in love.

******

In fact, she didn't know why, I looked at her like this, the same as the eyes in the frame, only I understood in my heart, I changed my expression. Actually, I don't smile a lot, to be exact, it's pitiful, I rarely smile, because when I smile, I think of her, I think of her in the frame, a bright smile, so I'm afraid to laugh, just because I'm afraid to think of her, really when a person is afraid to think of another person, loneliness and loneliness have come to you, and you start to think about everything about her.

Once upon a time, it was a wonderful thing to miss someone, but now I am afraid, I have become without the courage to miss, and then the wrong logical thinking becomes another crooked reason, don't laugh if you don't let yourself suffer, and think differently from ordinary people. While others suffer because they don't have a smile, I start to suffer because I have a smile, just to not think of her. That's why I can't smile in my life, and now I've come to know that sunlight and light are the same, both have energy, but they just don't feel the same.

******

I began to look at her, not to think that my eyes were like a wolf that had been hungry for a week against its prey, but simply looked at her face, I did not dare to look at her with the eyes of a beautiful woman, I did not look at other parts, in order to give her a good impression of me, I could only look at her face, the current situation did not allow me to look at other parts of her.

She began to look at me, and her eyes were strange, and I saw that the corners of her eyes were a little curved, the same as her eyebrows.

Does she know? Because of the sight of her, my mood has improved, and my eyes are no longer dull.

"What the hell is wrong with me", will be so attached to her, her perfect silhouette, perfect lines.

******

Suddenly the wind blew and she let go of a hand, and a bookmark fell from the book, floated around twice, and fell down, and I picked it up for her because I bent down quickly. Maybe she also took into account her ladylike image. She just looked down at me, which was natural and sweet. I saw her write a few words on the bookmark, "I just want to attract you", I wonder if she is hinting at something, is this all deliberately arranged by her? It's still arranged by God.