I didn't see Mr. Hu for a while, and after Thanksgiving, the bell finally rang in 2012, and the sisters in prison made a wish with a sense of ceremony. In the New Year's snowy cafeteria, I met him while queuing for food, and he was communicating with a Chinese prisoner in front of a police officer.

It wasn't until early spring, when the winter snow melted, and the weather in New York finally warmed up, that I saw him again. That morning we were walking in the wind field, and I went to the toilet halfway through and met Mr. Hu at the toilet door on the first floor, where he washed his hands.

He ignored me, but I was in a good mood and said hello to him.

"How's the New Year going? It's been a long time since I've seen you, and I'm going home for the New Year? ”

"Average. The New Year is getting boring and boring. ”

"Come on, you should think about me, for me, it's happiest to have a home to go back to, and to have something to eat, don't be picky."

He laughed.

"Last time, I accompanied you to see a psychiatrist, but this time you came to comfort me, you are really sincere."

"Heaven is a good reincarnation." I defiantly said, "Don't treat me like a patient. ”

I don't really want to be admitted that I'm mentally ill.

"Well, looks like you're recovering well."

"Yes. I am fine. ”

I went first, leaving behind a dashing back.

I chatted with Mida in front of the barred fence on the edge of the wind farm. She was my roommate and clinical roommate. Mida talked to me about her past, she said that she used to work in a casino in Las Vegas, and then a boss took a fancy to her, so she followed the boss, but men always like to spend their days drinking, picky, and the two of them were abandoned after only half a year together. Mida was sad and felt that half a year's relationship should not be forgotten so quickly. So she was a junior to the boss's friend, but the boss didn't care at all and slandered her. What can Mida do except be unwilling?

After that, she became obsessed with gambling money and wanted to become rich so that she could have more power in life. So the more she gambled, the more daring she became, but the more she gambled, the more debts she owed.

In the end, she was jointly hunted down by the debtor, and in a hurry, she went to the boss who had been good, hoping that he would help her in the face of the old love, but the other party refused, scolded and kicked. Mida was insulted and lost her mind, and in a fit of madness, she stabbed the boss to death with a self-defense device.

She was sentenced to ten years, and the best years of the girl will be spent in this place where there are walls everywhere.

Mida has adapted to life here, and jokes, "That's fine, those who collect debts can't catch up here." ”

I hugged her and wanted her to feel the warmth from me.

I remembered the Bible, where Westerners believe in Christ, so I told her what Brooks told me, 'God is love and forgiveness,' to comfort her and hope that she would feel God's forgiveness for her.

Maida is an American, so she understands, and she asks me, "Do you often comfort yourself with this phrase?" ”

I nodded, "I think there's magic in that." ”

The sun was so big that it seemed to be pushing away all the cold, and our prison shoes "painted" one mark after another on the sand. We thought that as long as we didn't get into trouble, we could live here unharmed.

However, there is always a but.

The night was quiet, and all the inmates went to sleep. I woke up and heard footsteps coming towards me, and by the time I thought it was the guards who had come in to check, the screams were already coming from me.

It's Mida.

At this moment I felt that I was very cowardly, and I did not dare to speak out to help her, so I breathed as if I was asleep. Mida's screams came and went, and the others didn't move. I kind of understand it, everyone is sisters on weekdays, but when they encounter this kind of thing, they have to avoid suspicion, who knows which bad thing the person concerned provoked. I don't want to get into trouble.

The shrill whistles of the guards rang out all over the sky, the lights were turned on, and I still closed my eyes and pretended that nothing had happened, and I heard three or four guards come in and shout, and then the few who beat people were all taken out.

This is life in prison, half empty, half fearful. I had to worry about being scared for three years under this futilitary fear.

It wasn't until the next day that I learned that the three girls who beat Mida were all female inmates who had been newly assigned to our house, and although they didn't explain to the police why they beat people, they only said that there was a conflict in normal times, but they openly called out the name of the boss she stabbed to death in front of Mida, and her deeds in Las Vegas to intimidate her. Mida and we realized that those people had been favored by the debt collectors outside, and they wanted Mida to live in prison at peace.

In the days that followed, Mida was scared, and she told me that there were countless pairs of eyes staring at her. The police moved the three to another room, but Mida still went crazy and said every day, "Help me!" Help me! Even if they are gone, there will still be other new people coming in, and they will try to torture me and make my life worse than death! ”

Mida started banging against the wall, screaming and screaming in the middle of the night, and at one point even woke me up from my sleep. I tried my best to make the biggest noise on the bed with my hand, but everyone around me was "sleeping", and no one was helping me. I grabbed her and pinched my two hands, desperately trying to pull them away, using all my strength to push her in.

Mida gasped for breath and fell to the ground with teary eyes. The prison guards didn't know where to go just now, and now they entered, and Mr. Hu also arrived. It was past eleven o'clock in the evening, and he was wrapped in a gray cardigan, with a pair of gold-framed glasses on the bridge of his nose, and he seemed to be in a hurry. The guards took Mida away, and the guards asked me if I was okay in English that he could understand as much as possible. I replied no, and then pulled my hair up and showed them my neck - a circle of red.

"We need you to tell us about Number 46, why did she pinch you just now?"

"I'm in a terrible condition right now and should go to the hospital immediately."

"Please answer me first."

I compromised and told the guards that I had been awakened by her in a dream, and that Mida's abnormality had been more than once, and that they knew about her usual night crying, but they didn't care.

The two guards looked at each other, and one raised his head to me after taking the record and said, "We have already informed our superiors." ”

Then Mr. Hu took me to do a simple bandage, and there were two broken skin on my neck, which were scratched by Mida's growing nails. When no one was around, I asked him if he could send me a message, but he refused.

His reasoning is simple: "It's not in order. ”

"I can pay you."

"But it's not enough for me to pay for my tuition."

We parted unhappily, I ignored him, and walked back quickly by myself, and he couldn't catch up with me after him.

By daytime, I knew that Mida would never come back, and the police sent her to a nursing home for treatment. A few days later, new news came that Mida had jumped to her death. In the middle of the night, she felt someone staring at her, so she jumped from the fifth floor, bleeding to death.

This news was told by the woman who took the gun, she was originally a policeman, and she had a bit of a relationship, and she could often get news from the outside and inside. I had insomnia again the night I first heard the news, how could this be this kind girl?

After Mida left, I started to make contact with Mu Mu, a Chinese masseuse woman from 40 Road on my right. For some reason, the rest of the room didn't like her very much. Although she is Chinese and we have a common language, she didn't like to talk at first, so we didn't cross paths. It's different now, Mida is dead, and she's the closest to me.

We talked about our stories every day, and what I talked about the most was when I was in high school, such as how to run with boys and how to succeed in the first place. Mu Mu didn't have a student time like me, she said that she came out to work after graduating from junior high school, she is a native of Zhuhai, Guangdong, originally she and her brother opened a restaurant in Saipan in the United States, but later because of the tsunami, Saipan's tourism industry once declined, resulting in too much loss of the store, they had to come to New York.

"My brother didn't like New York, he thought it was a rich man's paradise, so he went south to Honduras."

"Does he know you're here?"

"He knows. He paid the lawyer's fees. "Mumu is used to it. People here have also become accustomed to the bizarre or tragic stories that happen to everyone.

She was six or seven years older than me, but she didn't look old, and she looked very young, maybe because of her thinness.

Counting the time, summer in Manhattan is also here.

When it was time for an American in prison to be released from prison, when others were happy for her and envied her, she sighed: "I'm afraid that I won't be able to keep up with the pace of society after I get out, and people with criminal records can't live well in Manhattan." ”

I can imagine her misery.

used to be as beautiful as a flower, wearing Prada and walking on the streets of Manhattan, but now she has two sleeves and a breeze, no makeup, no money. She would see the beautiful clothes hanging in the window and smell the meat in the restaurant, but she would not enjoy anything. I don't want to find a job, because even the most basic food and clothing problems have become the most difficult at the moment.

I sympathized with her, but I couldn't help her, so I could only watch her reluctant back walk away.

Two months later, another person was released from prison, a British-American, who said that she had coordinated a divorce with her husband before she came in, and that the children now always thought that their stepmother was their own mother. And when she is released from prison, she will be driven back to her hometown, which is the United Kingdom.

This small thing made me realize that the barrier of love comes not only from firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea, but also from the law and other media that are difficult for ordinary people to intervene in. Their stories have made me see a lot more clearly, and I have also taken a lot of light for me.