Detention facility in Lower Manhattan, late September 2011. My whole body was shaking, and my brain couldn't remember everything that had happened in the previous hours.

The guard walked in front, and I followed her, walking in the dark, damp aisles, the sound of chains running in my ears, like silk threads, entwining my freedom.

I walked to the prison where I belonged and entered, and the iron door slammed shut.

I'm about to start a short-term or long-term prison life.

I never understood why she didn't like me so much, and targeted me so much.

"You're number 47 in bed." Prison guards stand outside the iron gates.

"Thank you." I said it softly, and I don't know if the guard could hear me.

Prison life was ugly to me, and I hated the air and the women in the same room as me.

I sat on the bed, bowing my head and being silent.

The people in the room were still chatting before they came in, and my arrival made them quiet for a moment.

"Hey, what did you do here?"

A middle-aged woman across from me asked me, and I glanced at her. She was found surprisingly clean, with no dirt on her face and a clean prison uniform.

"Attempted murder." I say.

They weren't surprised, and they didn't ask me why I was killing.

"I didn't mean to." I struggled a little, still trying to defend myself.

I want them to know that I'm not the same as those who have done bad things and broken the law.

A cold female voice came out of the room and told me, "Okay, stop pretending, everyone who comes here is a bad person, and people outside look down on it." ”

So I'm the bad guy?

They poked their heads out curiously to see my reaction, and I sat without talking or looking at them, and soon they lost interest and resumed talking about a topic that had been forgotten a moment ago. I didn't communicate with them all night, they were even colder than I was, and could completely ignore the presence of a person.

This is my first day. I cried quietly after they fell asleep at night, and the girl next to me slept soundly, but I only felt scared in this room. So I stayed up until dawn as I did at home, and I could barely sleep when there was movement.

A few days later, I met Smith, the lawyer who was defending me, a man in his forties, wearing a suit that couldn't hide his big belly. Finding a lawyer in New York is very expensive and time-consuming, and this is a lawyer with a slightly lower price found by the Brookstowers, and I don't blame Brooks for not being able to find a good lawyer, he has done his best. We are not related by blood, and he doesn't even have to pay for me now.

I met him in an orange prison uniform and sat in a 15-square-meter room.

"Can you tell me about the process? and your motivations. ”

I shook my head.

"Please, Miss Xie, don't be silent at this time, okay?" Smith's tone was a little anxious, startling me.

God testifies that I am not hypocritical to remain silent, I am just ......

I don't know how to describe it.

"Do you have children?" I asked him instead.

"Of course, I'm forty-three."

"And your child is still underage?"

"I'm in elementary school."

"If your child were in detention, would you treat him?"

"Of course I want to save it."

"But my parents won't, and I'm like I'm disconnected from them."

"So you hurt the plaintiff because of your parents?"

"Nope. These are two things. ”

"Can you tell us about what happened?"

It's actually quite simple.

Just yesterday.

I finished my morning shift and sat in Yummy's staff room at 2:30 p.m. to eat my last staff meal, which was my favorite seafood noodle. There was also Lina in the staff room, she was humming and peeling apples next to her, we talked and laughed, the atmosphere was very relaxed, and I didn't tell her about my resignation and going back to China.

A few minutes later, Rena came to me from the manager's office, threw my 1,000-word resignation report in front of me, and reprimanded me: "Hua, you're quitting? ”

"Yes."

"Why not say it in advance. I can't get you to leave your job. ”

"Why?"

"Because you haven't completed the two years of work according to the contract, all the resignations must come according to the contract requirements, and tell me or the store manager one month in advance."

"But now there is no shortage of people in the store, and my departure does not affect the subsequent shift at all."

"It's as beautiful as you think." Rena glared at me and said, "Take your resignation report back!" ”

"I don't take it, I have to go!"

"Didn't your parents teach you to have a contract spirit?"

Hearing that word, my anger was suppressed. Rena continued to sneer, "If you don't want to be in trouble, you can finish your last month's class." Have you not been taught by your parents since you were a child? ”

"Shut up Rena!" I stood up and met her gaze.

Rena and I looked at each other, their eyes wide open.

"You talk in this way every time, is it interesting? What are you jealous of? ”

She cursed and continued, "Look at what you wear every day, like a toilet sweeper at the chow noodle counter, who will like you?" Who is going to be jealous of you? ”

I remembered her divorce, so I took it out and stabbed her, "Don't be angry with me when you get divorced, how many times a month?" Why do you have to get along with me every time? ”

Rena slapped me.

Naturally, I didn't follow and waved my big palm over. However, Rena reacted faster than me, grabbed my right wrist, and I pushed me back, I stood firmly on the ground, and the rest room was small, and my back was hit against the wall, and it hurt for a while.

I shuddered, and my mind was replaying the image of myself screaming and stabbing Rena to death.

My hands even began to shake, and there were fine beads of sweat on both sides of my nose.

Rena scolded me a few more times and left the rest room. After she left, Lina came in through the door, helped me into a chair, and asked me about it.

No one has ever treated me like this. I can't swallow this breath, I've tolerated her enough.

I saw that Lina's apple peeling knife was still on the table, and there was a small piece of apple peel stuck to the sharp knife on it. I screamed, picked up the knife and rushed to the manager's office.

“Hua！” Lina called me, but she couldn't stop me.

I yelled at Rena and stabbed her in the abdomen as she turned. Rena didn't expect me to move seriously, and the smug smile on her face instantly stiffened. I pulled out the fruit knife and threw it on the ground, and blood immediately gushed out and splashed on my face.

"Die!"

I laughed maniacally outside the manager's room. Everyone in the infield came out to see what was going on, and then showed the same scared eyes as Lina. No one dared to come near me.

Rena's bulky body fell to the ground, there was a noise, and she fell unconscious......

Smith was silent for a long time, and then asked me a few questions about the case. I'm a little tired. He asked, "Hua, you need to contact your family in China." ”

I shook my head firmly, "I don't want them to know about this." My only family member is Brooks. ”

Smith was silent again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that, please don't tell him that, Brooks doesn't need to be tied up by me, I know that a lawsuit is expensive, if he can't do it, please give up on me." I'm at my own fault. ”

"No, he's in a hurry."

"Will Mr. Brooks still trust me and help me? I almost killed someone. I was speechless, "Will I be deported?" ”

"No, you can't leave until your case is completely over in the United States."

I looked at the sky, which was actually the ceiling of the gray room.

"If I lose the case, how many years will I be sentenced to?"

Smith stared at me. I was a little weak, "Let me have hope." ”

"Three years." He said, "But trust me. ”

"Thank you."

"It's time." The prison guard opened the door and came in to warn.

"Okay." Smith packed his briefcase.

"Wait a minute!" I stopped him as he got up, "Please help me tell Brooks: Finally, thank God, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear evil, for he is with me, and his rod and his rod comfort me." ”

Smith understood the sentence very well and finally smiled at me: "I'll tell him." ”