It turns out that letting go of hatred is difficult, but it is so easy to regain it.

That night, I didn't sleep again, even though I had changed into a clean hospital gown and the bed was covered with brand new sheets.

No matter how strong the smell of disinfectant is, it can't eliminate the smell of feces and urine in this room, just like this humiliation engraved in my heart.

I will never forget the moment when I lay on the ground in embarrassment and was stepped on by Shen Man.

And at that time, Jing Sheng was probably standing outside the door, like a bystander, enjoying this good show.

So, I was not mistaken, he could never be Aunt Zhang's firefighter husband, and at that time, he chose to give up on me only because I was insignificant to him.

For the first time since I left the nursing home, I waited for dawn with my eyes open.

At seven o'clock, Aunt Zhang appeared in the ward on time, she may have heard something on the way, and looked at me with extra pity in her eyes.

But now, I don't need anyone's mercy, so I didn't say a word to her.

I just sat quietly, waiting for Chu Qian to come, but I didn't see him until the sunset.

I suddenly remembered that yesterday, I broke up with him, did he really decide to give up on me?

Also, why should a person who even gives up on himself ask others to continue to persevere?

I raised my head and looked at the white roof of the hospital, and finally understood why Chu Qian said that I was a flower in a greenhouse like Han Xu.

I thought I would be much stronger after the events of five years ago and the inhuman torture that lasted for three and a half years, but it turned out that my heart was still fragile.

Yesterday's events are a good proof of this.

Chu Qian probably saw through my essence early on, so he didn't want to waste time on me.

I picked up my phone and wanted to call Chu Qian, but when I opened the address book, I found that I didn't have his number at all.

Once again, I discovered my own incompetence, and at this time, I couldn't think of anything but to ask for help, and worst of all, I couldn't even ask for help.

Aunt Zhang stood beside me, looking at me without saying anything, I also looked at her, and suddenly couldn't stop laughing: "Aunt Zhang, am I particularly useless?" ”

Aunt Zhang has a pure nature and has always been tolerant of others, but on this day, she firmly said to me: "If you feel humiliated, then let yourself stand up and go back." ”

Yes, then stand up and go back.

Even if there is no Chu Qian, I still have myself, and rehabilitation does not have to be accompanied by Chu Qian.

I immediately asked Aunt Zhang to apply for an instrument for me, and in the afternoon, the behemoth moved into my hospital room.

With the support of Aunt Zhang, I stood up tremblingly, there were many function keys on the instrument, although the medical staff who moved it gave me a detailed introduction, I still can't remember everything, only know the most basic ones - start, speed regulation, and shutdown.

I put my hands on the handlebars, like a child, learning to walk.

I still felt weakness in my right leg, but as I learned to walk, I gradually felt a soreness in my thighs, and then the soreness turned into pain, ranging from mild to severe.

I feel so happy because of this, does this mean that my self-rehabilitation has worked? It's better to hurt than not to feel it, right?

I don't know how long it took, Aunt Zhang reminded me that it had been long enough, let me come down and rest for a while, and continue tomorrow, but I didn't want to, I finally felt a little bit, how could I just stop?

I gritted my teeth, endured the soreness in my arms and the sharp pain in my thighs, and continued walking.

The air conditioning was turned on in the ward, but I was sweating like rain, and I didn't know if it was hot or painful.

Time passed minute by minute, during which Aunt Zhang came to persuade me several times, but I couldn't listen to it at all, as if I was enchanted.

Until Chu Qian's roar resounded through the sky: "Xia Xiaoman, don't you want your legs!" ”

Immediately afterwards, Chu Qian didn't care about my wishes, and directly hugged me off the rehabilitation equipment.

After placing me in the hospital bed, Chu Qian shouted angrily towards the door of the ward: "Are they all dead?!" Patients don't know how to rehabilitate reasonably, and you full-time staff are all-eaters?! ”

Chu Qian's roar worked, and a doctor on duty who had been wandering outside my ward walked in in a gloomy manner.

He lowered his head all the way, not daring to look at me, let alone Chu Qian.

"Doctor Chu, last night...... Miss Shen has been here, and you have been called to a meeting on an ad hoc basis, so you may not be very clear about the situation......"

Only then did I know that Chu Qian was called to a meeting, not deliberately avoiding me.

Chu Qian frowned: "Which Miss Shen?" ”

"Shen Man, Miss Shen."

When Chu Qian heard this, his brows furrowed even deeper: "What is she doing here?" ”

The doctor on duty opened his mouth to speak, but after one look at me, he swallowed back the words that came to his lips.

Chu Qian saw his embarrassed look, and finally understood what was going on: "Is it Shen Man's order?" ”

The doctor on duty still didn't speak, which was a tacit acquiescence.

"Shen Man is messing around, you are messing around with her?! Remember what you guys do!! ”

The doctor on duty looked at Chu Qian, Xu felt aggrieved, and only after a while did he say in a hurry: "Yesterday, the new doctor Ge was opened, and at the same time, he was also included in the list of major hospitals in Yancheng. Dr. Chu, we are not like you. In addition to being doctors, we are also ordinary people, facing great pressure to survive, and this job is very precious to us. ”

After he finished speaking, he gave me an apologetic look and stepped out.

I think the Dr. Ge he was talking about was probably the same doctor who stood out for me last night.

Chu Qian, who didn't know the situation, seemed to be stunned for a moment, and after a while, he muttered "What are you doing" and took out his mobile phone to make a call.

I guessed he was going to call Shen Man, so I stopped him at the first time: "Chu Qian, let's talk about rehabilitation first." ”

Regarding last night's incident, I don't want Chu Qian to know, even if he will always know in the future, I don't want him to ask the reason for this matter in front of me, or from Shen Man's mouth.

I can even imagine the arrogance and disdain in Shen Man's tone when Chu Qian asked about this, and I didn't want to feel the humiliation of being stripped naked and parading the streets, not at all.

Chu Qian may have seen that something was wrong with me, so he didn't have attachment.

He moved a stool and sat down on the edge of my bed, then reached out and touched my thigh.

I instinctively shrank and blocked him with my hand, but he didn't want to knock my hand off without even thinking about it: "Massage, do you do it yourself?" ”

I can't do it myself, and Aunt Zhang!

However, Aunt Zhang didn't know when she left the ward, I only knew that she was no longer there when I turned my head to look for her.

Chu Qian's tone of voice to me was obviously stinky, and I think he was still angry with me.

Looking back now, the me of yesterday was so bad that I wanted to slap myself a few times.

Chu Qian's massage technique is very sophisticated, and the strength is just right, and the pain in my legs is gradually relieved by his massage.

It's just that I hurt my thigh, and his massage posture is inevitably a little embarrassing.

When my leg didn't hurt so much, I said, "Okay, Chu Qian, I don't hurt anymore." ”

He didn't listen to me at all, he just gave me a look of "are you a doctor or am I a doctor", and I knew that I was at fault first, and I didn't dare to say anything more.

However, the position of Chu Qian's massage gradually moved up, and slowly, even to the root of my leg.

I finally couldn't help but hold his hand and stop him: "Chu Qian! ”

"That's ...... reaction," he smiled at me, "I guess you're a virgin!" ”

My face instantly became popular because of his words, but he turned away from his previous gloom and seemed to be in a good mood.

"Ah, twenty-eight old virgin! There shouldn't be many in the world, rare varieties. ”

I finally became angry, grabbed the apple that Aunt Zhang had bought in the morning and threw it over, and he easily caught it and took a bite.

"That's right, little man! Look, your legs are fine, aren't they? You're in a much better position than those who have had to have their limbs amputated! ”

"Well, I won't be like yesterday again."

"Little man, I'd rather see you cry than disheartened despair." I seemed to be easily forgiven by Chu Qian, and his voice sounded much softer than before, "I seem to have forgotten to tell you that the real strong person is not a person without tears, but a person who runs with tears." ”

Chu Qian's words sounded a little sensational, although he was only comforting me about my leg injury, but I couldn't help but think of what happened last night.

All the grievances, resentment, and unwillingness suddenly welled up with tear ducts, and the eyes could no longer hold back tears.

Chu Qian in the tears looked a little blurry, but his voice became clearer.

"For your sake, I'll tell you a secret. Have you noticed that my name sounds awkward, Chu Qian Chu Qian, shouting and shouting is the same as saving money, and my nickname since I was a child is inseparable from money. What kind of money old man, Zhou Peel and so on, how ugly it sounds, how to come! You know, how could someone as handsome and smart as me tolerate such a frustrating nickname! For this reason, I have been fighting for more than 20 years......"

He paused and sighed, "You see that I am still called this now, and you know that I have lost the struggle. But, at least I tried, didn't I? And it is this process of struggle that has made me who I am now. Don't try, little man, you'll never know what you're going to become, you know? ”

I gradually stopped my tears, nodded, and asked, "So I can call you Old Man Qian in the future?" ”

"No, I can!"

I will always remember the way Chu Qian gritted his teeth, and I also remember how relaxed I felt when I burst into laughter.

In the end, Chu Qian still became the old man of money in my mouth, except for cursing a few words at the beginning, he got used to it later, and he didn't even bother to say a word about me.

I have to say that Chu Qian is a very good doctor, he made a detailed rehabilitation plan for me, and the daily exercise time and amount of exercise were written in detail.

At first, I was still anxious and couldn't stand this step-by-step approach, but when I remembered that I didn't want to die on the first day of rehabilitation, I woke up the next day with soreness like my bones were falling apart, and then I was warned that my femur was cracking again, and I was lying in the hospital bed for a whole week, so I decided to follow Chu Qian's plan step by step.

The rehabilitation process was long and difficult, but the effect was very weak, and it was not until a month and a half later that I was able to barely walk a short distance with crutches.

On this day, I was locked in the ward for too long, I really felt uncomfortable, and under the soft grinding and hard foam, I finally got Chu Qian's approval, and I was able to walk around the outside of the hospital on crutches accompanied by Aunt Zhang.

But before he took a few steps, he actually met Jing Bailin again.

"Miss Xia, it's a pleasure to meet you again." He greeted me politely.

"Hello, Mr. Jing."

After the previous time, this meeting made me feel a little awkward, but he didn't seem to care, and his interest was still high.

"Miss Xia, you look much better than the last time we met."

"Thank you."

"Looks like you're going for a walk, would you be interested in joining me?"

I wanted to refuse, but he continued, "Just take it...... How about your apology for me? ”

At this point, I had to start with.

On the way, he didn't say anything more, just walked on his own, as if I didn't exist.

But if he really doesn't exist when I don't exist, his steps are slow to death, obviously waiting for me.

I opened my mouth and was about to say something, but I saw a person slowly walking in front of me.

It's Jingsheng.

He was as handsome as I was when I met him at the freshman meeting nine years ago.

At the sight of me, his gaze seemed to freeze for a moment, but only for a moment, his gaze swept over me and landed firmly on the man beside me.

"Father, Dr. Gu said that Manman's pregnancy is very stable, and now, she is already waiting for us in the car."