In the afternoon of the same day, when the stall was about to close, Brother Scumbag and I came to the dry cleaner near the market, took away the dry cleaning clothes I sent last time, and carried them to the warehouse, the sky had already darkened.

"What do you want to eat at night?"

Brother Za put the woven bag on his shoulder on the ground and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"It's been a long time since I've eaten the stir-fried squid you made, do you want to show off your chef skills?"

I looked down at my watch and picked up the mess in the warehouse.

"It's okay, can that little girl surnamed Zhang come over to eat?"

He was referring to Zhang Xueyao, I shook my head with a smile, and said lightly: "Miss Zhang is busy now, I have almost time tomorrow, she helped me contact such a good deal, and when the time comes, I will cook it myself and cook a table of delicious food for her." ”

"Gotta get it, don't sell melons and boast about it, let's do it."

Brother Scumbag glanced at me, picked up the lock on the warehouse, hung it on the nose of the door, and pressed it hard, and the door was locked.

We went to the vegetable market and bought a pound of squid, a pound of conch, two shallots, three taels of Thai peppers, a pound of cucumbers, and a pound of salmon meat.

"Looks like it's a seafood feast tonight, haha."

I grinned as I carried the plastic bag in my hand.

"I haven't eaten for a long time, I have to deal with a bite every day during the time you go home, and I don't bother to cook alone."

Walking out of the vegetable market, Brother Scumbag handed me a cigarette, lit one himself, took a deep breath, and showed an intoxicated expression.

"Brother scum, you said that those who are lonely and old are all lonely all their lives, like you said, they don't want to cook when they are alone, they just want to deal with one bite, so if they are alone all their lives, wouldn't it be all the same?"

I looked at Brother Scumbag with curiosity on my face, every time I encountered this kind of problem, I like to ask Brother Scumbag for advice.

Brother Scumbag didn't speak, the two of us continued to walk forward, he raised his head and looked at the sky that was soaked in golden yellow by the falling sun, and sighed: "Everyone has their own destiny, I remember when I was just an adult, I was very shy at that time, and I didn't know how to chase girls, I took the love depicted in people's mouths as a shameful behavior of invisible people, maybe at that time the rural ideology was too lagging behind, and the open mind had not yet poured in, so I was very inferior, even if I met the girl I liked, I didn't dare to boldly confess." ”

He kicked a pebble, and the pebble sprang out, hit the courtyard wall not far away, made a snapping sound, and fell into the grass under the base of the wall, and disappeared without a trace.

Brother Slag and I walked into the courtyard and put the dishes on the long table, and Brother Slag went to the sink to wash our hands and began to prepare dinner.

"But you and your sister-in-law are very happy now."

I took out the squid, salmon meat, and conch and put them in the basin, but I still looked at the scumbag, wanting to hear him finish the story.

"Happiness now is what you once strived for, do you understand?"

Brother Slag glanced at me, put his hand into the basin, and began to clean the squid meat.

"So how did you fight for it in the first place? Didn't you have low self-esteem at that time? ”

"Oh, where are all these problems?"

Brother Scum pushed me and motioned for me to bring a basin over.

"Tell me, I'd like to learn from it."

I opened the cabinet door and took a small aluminum basin and handed it to the scumbag.

Brother Scumbag took the basin, put the washed squid into the basin, poured the dirty water into the swill bucket, stared at me and said, "What to borrow?" It's not enough for you to have a Xue Xinyan? Is it possible that you want to get into the flowers and grass, and the red apricot is out of the wall? ”

He used three interrogative sentences in a row, and I laughed, shook my head, and said, "No, my personality is a little inferior now, and I want to hear how you came out of your inferiority complex." ”

"Do you have low self-esteem? Why didn't I see it? ”

Brother Slag walked to the edge of the pool again, took half a basin of water, poured the salmon meat into it, and rubbed it with his hands.

"Of course I know myself, sometimes I feel inexplicably lost, when I am alone, I feel unprecedented emptiness and loneliness, especially when I sleep during the day, when I wake up, the sky is dark, and the whole room is quiet and scary, at that time I feel that I am abandoned by the whole world, so when I interact with people with this emotion, I always can't lift my spirits, as if they are all malicious, I am always scared, for fear that others will enter my world, I suspect that I am now suspected of mild depression."

I helped the scumbag brother wash the Thai pepper, the red pepper, full of spicy, I was so stupid that I rubbed my eyes, and instantly felt a pinprick pain in my eyes, spicy tears flowed, I walked quickly to the edge of the pool, turned on the faucet, washed off the spicy smell on my hands, and took a handful of water, slowly rinsing my eyes.

"Are you stupid, you usually look very shrewd, and you dare to rub your eyes when you wash chili peppers, it's really hopeless."

Brother Scumbag turned around, looked at me crying by the pool, and sighed helplessly.

The cool, clean water soothed the stinging sensation in my eyes, and I rubbed my eyes with a towel, tears still flowing.

Seeing this, the scumbag brother smiled and said, "You are rushing for a while, and the spicy taste has not yet disappeared." ”

I unscrewed the faucet again, simply soaked my head in the pool water, gurgling bubbles, in the water I opened my eyes and blinked hard, this time it felt particularly good, the stinging sensation disappeared, I pressed my hands on both sides of the white pool, and pulled my head out of the water.

The fresh air rushed in, and I gasped quickly and took a few deep breaths.

I remember playing this game with Sun Kai when I was a child, putting two buckets in my yard, the bucket was full of water, we plunged our heads into the bucket to see who held their breath for a long time, generally I lost, Sun Kai's lung capacity is super good, even if he held it until his face was flushed, or he grabbed it with both hands, he did not show weakness, sometimes Xiao Qing would press my head in the bucket and not let me come out, which made Sun Kai laugh.

Dinner is fried squid, fried salmon, this is the signature dish of the scumbag, used to drink is a must, boiled conch in salt water, and a cucumber, simple four side dishes, full of color and flavor, the fragrance of the vegetables is overflowing, I can't help but swallow my saliva.

Brother Scumbag took two cups, took out a bottle of liquor under the long table, unscrewed the lid and poured me a full glass.

"Taste it, don't sit stupidly."

After pouring himself full of liquor, he picked up the cup and took a sip gently, he has a habit of drinking liquor, that is, every time he takes a sip, he likes to chirp twice, it seems that he is tasting the taste of wine, and there is a feeling of unfinished and endless aftertaste.

I picked up my chopsticks, grabbed a shredded squid and threw it into my mouth, and chewed it twice, which was really full of umami and moderate taste.

I touched the cup with Brother Scum, took a big sip, and swallowed it with difficulty, I drank white wine like this, when I drank the first cup, it was like drinking pesticides, it was simply difficult to swallow, and it would be much better to drink the second cup, I guess the nerves have been anesthetized.

"Did you just say you had depression?"

Brother Scumbag grabbed a crushed cucumber and threw it into his mouth and chewed it, making a crisp chewing sound.

"I mean, sometimes I want to find a quiet place to stay alone, I don't want to go with the flow, and I'm afraid to meet people, sometimes I'm very lonely and want to talk to someone, but I don't know who to talk to, isn't this depression?"

I frowned, this liquor really doesn't suit me.

Brother Scumbag chewed a piece of salmon meat, crispy on the outside and tender on the inside, and his mouth was full of oil, he smacked his mouth twice, and said lightly: "There is an old saying that there is nothing in the world, and mediocrity disturbs itself." ”

"You mean I'm asking for trouble?"

I put down my glass, never believing that I was a philistine, and had deep doubts about this sentence of the scumbag.

"Yes, or else?"

There is a touch of red on the cheeks of the scumbag, it seems that today's wine is just right.

"I'm not a mediocre person, nor am I looking for trouble, I'm just a little cynical, jealous and hateful, I just can't see others being bullied, and I can't get used to the so-called justice, the surface is clear, but the back is dark, I feel that I am derailed from this society, I don't want to face those rights and wrongs, but I am floating in society, and I am very helpless."

I picked up the cup and drank most of the remaining half of the wine, the strong smell of alcohol slipped through my esophagus, stimulating my taste nerves, I shivered violently, tears came out of my eyes, and the scumbag brother took out two tissues and handed them to me, and comforted: "Drink slowly, how can you drink liquor like this." ”

I reached for the tissue, wiped away my tears, and was unusually depressed.

Brother Scumbag observed me, sighed softly, and said hoarsely: "Didn't you ask me how to get rid of my inferiority complex, let me tell you, if you want to get out of such a haze, others can't help you, you can only rely on yourself." ”

He handed me a cigarette, helped me light it, and continued: "I had a very low self-esteem, when I was in middle school, I dared to talk to girls, and every time I spoke, my face would turn red, and at that time I clasped my hands hard, and once my nails pierced into the flesh, and blood flowed out, but I didn't know it, and I was scared that the girls screamed. ”

Brother Zam leaned back, leaned on the backrest, picked up the wine bottle, and helped me fill the wine glass.

"And when did you get better?"

I took the cup, put it on the table, and looked at the scum with curiosity on my face.

"When I was about twenty-one years old, my father and mother were not in good health at that time, and the poor family was almost unable to open the pot, and there was no money for me to marry a daughter-in-law."

Brother scumbag picked up the cup, bumped into me, took a sip lightly, pursed his lips and said: "I came out to work at the age of sixteen, Taiyuan, Tianjin, Jinan, Tangshan, Shijiazhuang, ran a lot of places, at that time with my fellow villagers to the construction site as a small worker, sixty yuan a day, because I am too small, new to the construction site, it is inevitable that I will be bullied, plus my own character defects, low self-esteem, not good at communicating with people, so I suffered a lot of losses, at that time I saw one thing clearly, in this society adrift, in addition to their own beauty, No one will really pity you, they will just look at you and laugh. ”

Brother Scum's voice was a little choked, he picked up his wine glass and drank half of it in one gulp, as if he was immersed in this sad past.

"I went to the construction site in the first year, worked for half a year, saved 5,000 yuan by frugality, and wanted to take it home to honor my father and mother, who knew that my fellow townsman opened his mouth to borrow money from me, and also took a personality guarantee, saying that he had encountered difficulties, needed to borrow money, and returned it to me after the autumn, where did I know what to play at that time, even if there was an IOU, I couldn't find anyone, when I went home for the New Year, I went to his house to ask for money, who knew that he turned his face and didn't admit it, and also beat me up, changed the appearance of borrowing money, saying that I came to slander people without evidence, I was so angry that I was dead. ”

"And then?"

I listened attentively, and the soot fell on my pants, and I hurriedly blew it down with my mouth.

Brother scumbag sighed: "Later, the bamboo basket was empty, from then on, who cares if I borrow money, whether it is a good fellow countryman, or relatives and friends, I will not borrow anything, when I borrow money, I look like a dog, and when I ask for money, I put on a disgusting face, and simply refuse, so as to avoid boredom in the future." ”

What the scumbag brother said was very reasonable, and I bowed my head and said, "Then how did you and your sister-in-law meet?" ”

"She, haha."

As soon as I mentioned my sister-in-law, Brother Scumbag was happy, and it seemed that I could finally talk about my wife, I bumped a glass with him, drank the second glass of liquor, sandwiched a piece of cucumber, and threw it into my mouth and chewed it slowly, but my eyes kept staring at Brother Scum, wanting to hear about the acquaintance process between her and my sister-in-law.

"She is also my fellow villager, that year she and my father-in-law went to the construction site in Tangshan to cook for people, when I saw her for the first time, I liked it very much, yo, it was really energetic, especially likeable, but my father-in-law didn't like me, at that time my daughter-in-law was good-looking, there were many workers who pursued her, they were willing to spend money, to buy her KFC, McDonald's, Texas, I was shy, although I liked it in my heart, but I didn't dare to confess, she took the initiative to come to me."

"What? Sister-in-law takes the initiative to chase you? ”

My eyes widened, and I carefully looked at the appearance of the scumbag brother, with thick eyebrows and big eyes, thin cheeks, and he was already a handsome guy when he was young.

"I can't say that, she came to talk to me when I was resting, so to speak, she helped me open my heart and let my heart accommodate other people."

Brother Scum's face was filled with happiness, and the corners of his mouth rose, as if marrying a scumbag sister-in-law was the proudest thing he had ever done in his life.

"And then?"

"Later, it was a matter of course, after returning to my hometown, I was looking forward to getting married, but my father-in-law did not agree to live or die, and obstructed it in every way, but at that time I showed my face, and I said that the ugly thing is that the dead pig is not afraid of boiling water, and I go to her house to find her every day, and thanks to my daughter-in-law's persistence, we can have today, so I am now going out early and returning late, just to let her mother and mother have a good life in the future, don't learn from me to come out and set up a stall."

A tear hung in the corner of Brother Scum's eyes, it was a tear of happiness, mixed with emotion, sadness, helplessness and deep remembrance.