I didn't have the strength to look at him, so I turned my eyes to look at the flowery world outside.

I always felt that none of this had anything to do with me.

It seems like it's all a lifetime ago.

"Luo Yan."

He stiffened my body, but I was so frightened by him, something flashed in my mind, and what I heard in my ears was "Ye Yan".

I chuckled lowly, laughing so much that Lu Junxun looked at me inexplicably, probably looking at me like a ghost, and I told him, "You really don't plan to tell me, who Ye Yan is?" ”

Ye Yan, Luo Yan, what a similar name.

Ye Xinai is also surnamed Ye, and I almost used the reasoning ability of a normal person to launch my relationship with her is by no means as simple as it seems.

As long as I go and do a DNA test with her the next time she comes to me, I can know the truth of everything.

But Lu Junxun told me firmly: "You are just Luo Yan, and other people have nothing to do with you." ”

Maybe I've asked this question too many times, and he's already getting impatient, but it doesn't matter.

It's good if he's happy.

"Let me go."

I looked at him lightly, as if I had seen through the red dust, and I felt that if I were a monk now, I would definitely be a good student.

"Ah Yan."

He whispered helplessly: "It's gone, I'm sad too......"

"He's gone, he's just been taken away by others, he's lost, he just can't find his way home, I'll definitely find him."

I interrupted him and forced his words and phrases, I hated him for saying that he was gone.

No, I don't believe he's dead, he's just lost.

Now it must be alive and well somewhere.

"Okay, he's definitely still alive, but it's going to take some time for us to find him, okay?" Lu Junxun seemed to be afraid of me, and maybe he felt that he was very patient, and even, but in my eyes, he was only perfunctory.

Getting off top of him, I didn't sit down, but squatted beside him and lay on his knees.

"Lu Junxun, you understand, Sasa can't be found, right?"

I looked him in the eye and wanted to laugh, but I couldn't.

I just wanted to laugh at him, knowing the truth of the matter, but every time, he was deceiving me.

His face was ugly, almost heartbroken.

"Ah Yan, if you believe me, I will definitely get him back."

He assured me.

I gently pushed away his hand reaching for me, then stood up, and I told him, "No need. “

Just to see his heartbroken expression now, it's enough.

That's enough......

I just need to know that he, like me, is also heartbroken, and that's enough.

Facing the wind, I looked at the sky-high buildings in all directions, and I just felt that I wanted to escape, and the escape intention that sprouted in my heart suddenly grew again.

"Send me back to school, I want to finish all my unfinished studies."

I muttered, not to be loud, I knew, he was behind my back.

As long as I don't push him away, he's always there.

I know he loves me.

But his love is only five points, and there are five points, which is about to be given to that Ye Yan.

So...... Am I a stand-in?

Some of the memories in my head are starting to come back, and I just need to know the answer as soon as possible so that I can prepare myself.

But no one wants to tell me.

They feel that concealment is the best solution.

However, he didn't know that this would only push me further and further.

Lu Junxun walked up to me and forced me to see his face, his eyes, and then he held my face and looked at me seriously and said, "Are you really going to go back to school?" ”

I didn't resist, I just looked at him, looking at the bloodshot in his eyes, he hadn't slept for a long time.

I know all of this.

Gu Sheng prescribed me sleeping pills, otherwise I wouldn't be able to sleep at night, Lu Junxun had to make this decision for the sake of my body.

But after I fell asleep at night, there was no one to coax the children or take care of the children, Wang Qian still had to look at the store, and Lu Junxun came in person.

He missed too much and wanted to make up for it.

However, he was too rusty.

Looking at the bloodshot in his eyes, I did feel a little distressed, but all those distresses were covered by the crazy escape in my head.

Nodding, I answered his question, "I want to go back to school and finish my studies." ”

His expression was a little complicated, as if he didn't know how to understand my words.

"I just want to find something to do for myself, and, Lu Junxun, I can't grow up under your protection all the time, I need to have my own ability to survive, but if I don't finish my studies, I won't have a degree certificate, do you think I can't even get a degree certificate, do you want me to be such a person?"

He is good enough, so the people around him should be good enough.

I'm sure he'll understand.

Sure enough, he nodded: "Okay, I'll go and prepare it for you." ”

"No need, I don't care about anything now, you just need to help me with the formalities, and I'll go straight over."

After having a baby, my mindset was completely different.

If I encounter school bullying again, I think I will not hesitate to go back, and I may even argue with reason.

Because I'm no longer the Luo Yan I used to be.

Lu Junxun agreed to me, and his work efficiency was really high, that night, he brought back my student ID card, and some other things, my credits are enough, as long as I take enough credits from the previous semester, I can graduate with the new level of classmates.

I'm very pleased with that.

At the very least, I still have something in my hands that I can grasp.

Wang Qian heard that I was going to go to school again, so she came to look for me.

She bought a big bag of things, took them out one by one, and said that they were for her goddaughter.

I grabbed her hand: "If you have anything you want to ask, just ask, Wang Qian, I have never treated you as an outsider." ”

"But you didn't treat me as your best friend."

She didn't look at me, just looked at the things in her hand, and her expression was sad: "You can leave if you want to, never consider the feelings of the people around you, just feel that you want to leave this place, you leave, but you never think, you leave, what will happen to the people around you?" You're trying to leave now, aren't you? ”

I was startled and subconsciously looked up at her.

Seeing that she was staring at me firmly, she smiled bitterly when she saw me like this: "Sure enough, I guessed right." ”

"Why?" I even hid it from Lu Junxun.

She smiled bitterly: "Do you remember what you said to me when my parents divorced before?" “

Shaking my head, I said I don't quite remember.

She said: "You said that if one day you encounter any major blows, you will definitely deal with all the unfinished things in your hands perfectly, and then leave without looking back." “

Studies, my imperfections, only my studies.

Sassy is a pain, it takes me a lifetime to make up for it, he is perfect, but this matter is not over.

So, Wang Qian understands me.

Tears snapped down, and I didn't deny it.

"Ah Yan, you are really irresponsible like this, you know," Wang Qian also cried with me, she said: "We are all here, no one can keep you?" ”

I know she really loves me, but ......

I really can't get over this hurdle in my heart.

Moreover, staying in this environment every day and thinking about Sasa, I feel like my whole person is going crazy.

"Give me a moment."

I needed to take a dip, but when I think about it, I still feel like I can't get over it.

"If you were given time to figure it out, that would be the best, but Ah Yan, are you sure you can figure it out?"

Wang Qian grabbed my hand, her eyes were hazy with tears.

I didn't have the office to answer her questions, and I couldn't even answer my own questions.

What do I want?

I do not know.

After I re-entered the school, the people in the school were much more friendly to me, probably because I was no longer a classmate in the same grade, and no one cared about my affairs anymore.

And Lu Junxun came to the school less and less, and vaguely heard that he had hardly come to school in the past year, so he, the principal, was just one of them.

There are no more jealous people in the school who fight for him.

Youth is so cruel, what happened yesterday can be forgotten today.

But I don't think I'm that old.

I can't forget.

Even some memories in my mind were slowly waking up, but fortunately I retook an elective course on Freud, which played a role in my own psychological mediation.

I even learned that if someone hypnotizes with the help of drugs, then people's memories can be erased.

So, is it possible that my memory has been erased in this way?

Finding myself has become what I do most of the time.

And just when my life was calming down, I suddenly received a mysterious phone call.

"You've been doing well lately, it seems that you forgot about your son, how can there be such a vicious mother as you in the world?"

His voice was camouflaged, sounding shrill and terrifying.

"Who are you?"

I looked at the streets with no one on the left and right: "How do you know my phone number, you know where Sasa is?" ”

"You ask so many questions, which one should I answer to you? Well? Ye Yan ......"

It's Ye Yan again!

My head ached violently, but I quickly calmed down: "What do you want?" ”

He laughed lowly, and his laughter was terrifying: "Ye Yan, what do you say I want?" I don't want anything but you. ”

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want to see you suffer, watch you regret your mistakes, watch you beg me to let you go, even die in front of me, even if you go to hell, you will kneel in front of me, and you will never be able to live again."

I can't think of anyone I have such a grudge against.