It's hard for me to describe how I felt when I got Ding Ling's reply.

After two long months of waiting, I finally waited for Ding Ling's reply, and I didn't have the courage to open it immediately, so I took the letter from the doorman in the communication room and carefully put the letter into my school bag.

The letterhead lay quietly in my schoolbag, and I didn't dare to open it until the next day's class, as if what was in the schoolbag was no longer a letter, and even when I carried it, it felt heavy, and it became all my emotional hope at the moment.

During class, I sat in the classroom, stunned, wandering, reaching into my bag with one hand and clutching the letter tightly, lest it be lost or suddenly fly away.

When the teacher was teaching on the podium, I couldn't listen to a single word at all, I just took notes with one hand mechanically, and I couldn't keep up with the teacher's train of thought on the podium.

My thoughts were full of speculations about the content of Ding Ling's letter, and the whole class time was like sitting on pins and needles.

Eventually, I couldn't stand it, and I knew that for better or worse, the answer was in the letters.

I had to untie it as if I were untying a knot in my own heart.

After class, I hurriedly found a corner of the campus where no one was, sat down, took out the envelope from my schoolbag, opened it with trembling hands, and carefully read through it word by word, lest I miss a word or a trace of goodwill from Ding Ling's words.

However, the reality is very different from what I imagined.

Ding Ling's letter, like mine, has no content, and can even be described as simple pity.

The font of the letter is beautiful and neat, and the whole text is exactly the same as my letter, which is my feelings after enlisting in the army, the current environment of the army, and so on.

At the end of the letter, she apologized and said that due to the recent training of the troops, she could not reply in time.

A few lines, without any information I was expecting.

I flipped through the envelope several times, hoping to find another page, but I found nothing.

The contents of the letters, read horizontally and vertically, do not have any implicit information.

A faint sadness inexplicably came to my heart.

"She should be the same as before, she still doesn't have any good feelings for me at all, and she doesn't even have a simple word of blessing for me after all the hard work to be admitted to college!"

"She should be proud of my grades in major universities! But she didn't say anything! ”

"Maybe she still thinks I didn't take the test, right?"

"Why did she only introduce herself in her letters, and not show the slightest concern for my current situation?"

"Her reply is exactly the same as mine, maybe it's just a courtesy?"

......

For a while, I had thousands of thoughts and speculations about Ding Ling's letters.

I was a little disappointed to receive such a reply, and I could even feel the cold distance expressed in Ding Ling's letterhead.

A gust of autumn wind blew, rolling up the withered yellow maple leaves on the ground, and I was shrouded in the coolness of late autumn, and read the letter several times, looking at the bare trunks and dead branches around me, and a melancholy feeling of loss arose in my heart.

After being stunned for a while, I took the letter and went back to the dormitory.

Dazhi was lying on the bed reading a novel, and when he saw me, he put down the book and stared at me for a long time.

"There's your letter in the communication room, alas. Did you go get it? His tentative tone.

"Take it." I replied.

"That...... Whose reply is yours? He asked me, staring at my expression and smiling meaningfully.

"yes."

"What did you say?" Receiving my affirmative reply, he seemed to come to his senses, tossed the book aside, and sat up.

"Didn't say anything." In my tone, a taste of disappointment was hard to hide.

"Damn, it's a good thing to reply to the letter, and then write to her." Dazhi is happy for me, and at the same time he is more anxious than me.

"I told you, you have to have a certain level to write love letters, didn't I tell you, if you don't understand, you can come to me."

He was very interested, and Ding Ling's reply to me seemed to make him feel hopeful.

"You don't understand, the content of her reply is very ordinary."

"Didn't say anything, it didn't mean anything." I'm a bit listless.

"Dude, I'll tell you, the truth should be like this, if you write to her and the girl writes back to you, it means that she is at least not averse to associating with you, which means that there is still hope, and if there is hope, you have to persevere." Dazhi encouraged me and seemed to be very experienced.

I glanced at him and smiled knowingly.

What he said should be reasonable, and what is hopeful should be persistent.

Dazhi and I are in a similar situation, perhaps, in my correspondence with Ding Ling, he sees hope, and can speculate on his emotional future with his cousin, right?

So, I followed his advice, regained my courage, and decided to write to Ding Ling again.

In this letter, I wrote a little more, in addition to what happened at school, but also the bits and pieces of life.

Every paragraph of the letter, I carefully read the words, changed and changed, the letter was as concise as possible, I knew that a big man's letter, can not be too long-winded, can not be nagging and annoying, at the same time, this letter, I vaguely revealed my admiration for her.

After the letter was sent, there was a response very quickly.

Ding Ling replied, and she also wrote about her recent life, but she expressed her thoughts to her in my letter and avoided responding.

Anyway, my contact with Ding Ling seems to be much more normal.

Although we are far apart, we have exchanged letters more frequently and exchanged more and more things, but the sensitive words involving emotions are less and less in each other's letters.

We were all tacitly careful to avoid the topic of what we thought of each other.

This kind of contact gives me mixed blessings.

The good thing is that at present, my relationship with Ding Ling seems to be one step closer, and there is a vague glimmer of hope as Dazhi said; The worry is that the communication is getting deeper and deeper, but we find that there always seems to be an insurmountable obstacle between each other, which makes it impossible for us to express our true thoughts about each other more honestly.

Time flies, and in a flash, the winter vacation is coming soon.

With the consent of my family, I decided to stay in the provincial capital to work during the winter vacation to subsidize my family and earn my tuition for the next semester.

During the holidays, the entire university campus was empty, and I seemed to be the only one left in the dormitory building of the engineering department, I studied in the dormitory at night, and began to ride my bicycle outside the campus during the day to look for opportunities to work on holidays.

I don't know how long it took, but I came to a small workshop in an industrial area, where machines were roaring and plastic products were being produced.

In the workshop, several unkempt workers gathered together to collect and sort out the piles of waste plastics, and the sewage in the workshop was cross-flowing and the smell was pungent.

I leaned over and explained to a man that I was going to work, and he pointed to the attic next to the mechanical platform and asked me to go to the proprietress.

I walked up the rickety, cramped staircase and pushed open the attic door, where snoring thundered.

A ragged woman with a sturdy physique was sleeping on all fours on a small, shabby iron bed.

The situation in the small room made me feel a little abrupt, so I quickly and subconsciously exited the room and knocked on the door.

The knock on the door did not wake the sleeping woman, who lay there and did not seem to respond.

After a while, the snoring inside paused, the iron bed creaked for a while, and the proprietress seemed to turn over and fall asleep again.

A little disappointed, I walked down the stairs where a worker was pulling a half-formed plastic basin out of the machine.

The roar of the machinery was louder, and when he saw me coming down, he shouted at me, "Did the lady agree?" ”

It seems that he urgently needs a helper, and the noise is too loud, so I gestured to him in a sleeping position, which means that the proprietress is sleeping, and it is not easy to disturb.

The worker understood the meaning of my gesture at once, and without stopping his work, threw aside the half-finished product, and then shouted at me: "Go upstairs, go into the house and push her, she hasn't slept for two days." Push awake and ask again. ”

I vaguely felt that the work in this workshop was not suitable for me, but the desire to make money made me stop, follow the advice of the workers, and turn around and go back to the attic room again.

The sleeping position of the proprietress is a little indecent, which makes people dare not look directly.

I walked into the hut, came to her bedside, and gave her a gentle nudge as the worker said, "Boss, boss." ”

"Well, well, what are you doing?" She was half asleep, squinting and glancing at me, her voice tired.

"I'm a student at a nearby school and want to find some work in your workshop." I whispered.

"You be louder, I didn't hear what you said." She seemed to sober up a little and said loudly to me.

"I'm a student at the school around the factory, and I'm ..... I'd like to find some work in your workshop. I raised my voice.

She stretched her waist, didn't get up, looked me up and down carefully, squinted her eyes and said, "No, you are too small, long and weak, and the work in the workshop is intensive, you can't do it." ”

"I should be capable." I was a little anxious, thinking about the instructions of the workers below, and I urgently needed the approval of the boss's wife.

"No way!" , She replied very simply, and then closed her eyes, it seems that what the worker said is true, she should really not sleep for two days, she is really too tired.

"You're still a student, so go back to school." She rolled over and muttered, "Ignore me."

I turned around and walked out of the room, a little disappointed.

"Students just want to study hard, you go back to school." The proprietress murmured behind me, as if in a dream, and before my legs could step out of the threshold, her snoring thundered again, and she soon fell into a deep sleep. Sure that I would not get a positive answer from her, I left disappointed, leaving the room and walking down the stairs.

This time, no one in the workshop paid any attention to me, and in the deafening roar of the machine, several workers were busy loading and discharging like spinning tops, as if they had completely integrated with the machinery in the small workshop.

When I walked out of the factory in the industrial area, the blue sky and white clouds outside, the breeze was blowing, and compared with the busy and noisy in the small workshop, it was a scene of two worlds.