Life in the county, in addition to emotional confusion, is different from the study and life of ordinary students, which makes my best years full of dramatic opportunities.

In the first semester of the second year of high school, when I was divided into arts and science classes, the head teacher was a Chinese teacher at that time, who was tall and big, quite thin, with a big mouth and a long face, and was more cheerful, with a loud voice, and liked to wear black leather clothes and leather pants. A few naughty students in the county town privately gave him a nickname "Big Iron Donkey", I didn't feel that this title was an insult at all, on the contrary, I felt very kind, because I wrote well, the iron donkey teacher liked me very much, and he has always been more concerned about me. My grades in each subject were relatively balanced, and when I was assigned to a class, he specially talked to me and asked for my personal opinion on whether to go to the liberal arts class with him or choose to stay in the science class.

"Big country, I'm going to be transferred to Class 5 to lead the liberal arts class, I looked at your past grades, your liberal arts and science grades are in the same position in the class group, what do you think of yourself?" ，

I'm a little hesitant, I love literature, I like to write articles, I like to write articles everywhere, and I often have the composition of the joint entrance examination as a model essay by the whole school as a model text, I also like the iron donkey teacher, but the reality at that time was to learn mathematics, physics and chemistry, and I was not afraid to go all over the world, and the employment prospects after graduating from science and engineering were much stronger than those of liberal arts, and I hesitated between my hobby and future survival.

Seeing that I didn't speak, he reminded softly: "You were admitted to high school in the five-subject competition, right?" ”，

"Yes",

"In fact, you still have a lot of potential to tap in mathematics, physics and chemistry",

"Did the teacher suggest I study science?" , I looked at him.

He didn't speak again, just patted me on the shoulder: "Go to science, good students are assigned to science classes, you have to study hard and find a good job in the future."

In his words, there seemed to be some reluctance, and then, he turned around and went busy.

A few years later, I always remember the conversation of the class, this conversation influenced the direction of my life in the following decades, I honestly chose between the ideal and the reality, I can fill the belly, can make money to buy bread, food and clothing without worry, like thousands of ordinary science and engineering men, I became one of the millions of engineers in China, put down the pen, pick up the tools. As long as I want, I can support my family and have no problem living a dull life.

It is said that he responded to the recruitment of the county government and went to the cultural department to be a secretary, but because of his high conceit, until he retired, he also stayed in the printing room to do chores, and there was no achievement in his career.

After Mr. Iron Donkey left, we welcomed a new homeroom chemistry teacher who also talked to my father, he was short and fat, with a straight face all day long, unsmiling, combing his hair every day to be shiny, wearing a suit and leather shoes, and walking swayingly.

The chemistry teacher loves face very much, which is why he is often angry with me, before the class, I am a reluctant honor student, can be after the second semester of the second year of high school, because the mind is too heavy, the grades plummeted, the school also paid attention to the early days, he first talked to me, hoping that I could improve, but the result of chatting a few times, the grades became more and more unbearable, he was annoyed, and then simply gave up on me, no longer pay attention to me.

The chemistry teacher has been our homeroom teacher from the second year of high school to the third year of high school, and I have not communicated much with him, and I have said very few words in total, and he is very busy every day, busy printing papers for us, exams, and evaluations; Supervise our training and joint entrance examinations. His lack of anger and authority made me stay away. His glamorous clothes also gave me a strong sense of distance at that time.

The chemistry teacher tore up my failing exam papers, and after talking to my father, my father sent money more frequently than before, and there was even a change amount of five and ten yuan in the money order. I guess that's part of the conversation between the two of them.

After graduating from high school, he went his own way, more than ten years later and friends in the county town in the capital to drink and chat, and happened to know some information about the chemistry teacher, not long after we graduated from high school, he resigned and went to work in an educational institution in the provincial capital, and later invested in training with others, completely commercialized education, and has been wandering around the capital, but it is barely done, not very successful.

Compared to the first two, the math teacher was the most impressive in my high school career. He was not tall, had a slightly hoarse voice, thick hair, drooping eyes, a pale complexion, and was dressed in a more traditional manner.

The math teacher also started teaching me after the liberal arts and sciences were separated.

After the class, the first class of mathematics, he strode up to the podium and glanced at the class with his head held high. Then he took the whip and knocked on the table, coughing,

"Uh-huh, that, who is the big country, stand up and I'll get to know you."

I stood up confused, and at the same time a little flattered, stood up and looked at him,

"Okay, okay, you are, you sit down, you have to pay attention in the future, I will focus on you",

I was a little confused, I didn't know what he was going to do.

"Big country classmates, since I accepted the mathematics teaching in our class, the first thing I did was to sort out the math scores of all the people in our class, your grades are the most unsatisfactory, and the results of the five competitions are good, why have the results of the joint entrance examination declined recently? You have to pay attention. I sat down silently under the watchful eyes of the class.

In the future, the math class became my nightmare, he would take me out alone every time he went to class, either to write on the blackboard, or to answer questions in public, but he was not satisfied with the whole class and began to reprimand him in front of the class, and he was very angry, I was afraid of him.

I began to reject the math teacher's lessons, I tried desperately to figure out what he was talking about in class, but I couldn't listen to anything in my ears, just watched him wave the whip endlessly, completely ignorant of what to do, I was like a frightened bird, every time I went to class, I would worry about being called out by him, and I spent forty-five minutes in math class in a state of panic, and as you can imagine, my math grades even fell to a failing grade.

My math grades annoyed my homeroom chemistry teacher and my current math teacher, and I felt that the two of them were so impulsive that they even wanted to knock my head open and shoehorn their knowledge into it.

After my math grades didn't improve, my disappointed math teacher started to treat me coldly, and I was relieved that I was finally able to attend the class normally.

However, something unexpected happened.

One day, after the whole class of mathematics class, he didn't ask me any more questions, I gained a lot, and finally in the second half of his wonderful courseware gradually got better, the class bell rang, he packed up the handouts, and knocked on the table with the whip again, "Today's talk is very basic things, relatively easy to understand, everyone should understand, but there are still some people who don't understand, big country students don't understand!" I bowed my head in the midst of the laughter of the class, and almost burst into tears of shame.

Since then, I have completely lost the ability to do math problems, and as soon as I see the math test papers, I begin to be in a reflexive trance, and I can't even solve the basic equations in junior high school. The situation kept getting worse, and the more I tried to improve, the more stressful I became, the worse it became.

Until the final college entrance examination, I was excellent in all other courses, but I failed in mathematics.

However, the miraculous thing happened to me again, after entering the university, I regained the free learning atmosphere, and the level of mathematics became magically back to my body, and I even returned to the level of the five subject competitions of that year, and the ability to solve mathematical problems exceeded ordinary people, and even a few years later, when I was studying abroad for graduate school, my advanced mathematics-related courses were excellent, and I also ranked first in the class.

Although I didn't want to know anything about him from my heart, I didn't know from others that after he gave up his teaching position and went on a career in office, he became an excellent official and was promoted repeatedly.

My early chemistry, and math skills, were instilled in me by two impressive mentors in high school.

At the same time, I also understand that even though I did badly back then, I still learned a lot from this cramming method, just like thousands of unfortunate Chinese students today, and benefited a lot.

Sometimes I think back to the fact that in the limited time I have spent in high school, the way should be better than the method, and I even think that from a psychological point of view, what I am rejecting is what is imposed on me from the outside, which may be a rebellion of adolescence, or a stress response of youth and ignorance. Actually, the math teacher cherished me, but the way he loved became a burden to me, even a nightmare; The chemistry teacher also loves me, but his love is divorced from my reality and somewhat selfish; The Chinese teacher of the iron donkey also loves me, his love is very pragmatic, which has made a qualitative change in my life, but it has made me farther and farther away from my ideals.

Isn't the same true of love?

The chemical reaction of beautiful love is positive and positive, but there must be appropriate timing and conditions for love; Love can sometimes make people blind, sluggish, and even lose the ability to think logically, just as mathematics has brought me disasters; However, as time goes by, once it is really revisited, the love formula reverts back to a very simple pattern and becomes even simpler than one plus one.

In the process of studying chemistry and mathematics in the county, because learning took up the time and energy of pursuing love, my concept of love was more than action, and even occupied a dominant position, which was mixed with the reprimand of the teacher and the ridicule of my classmates, which would make my emotional world so complicated and so chaotic, I don't even know whether love disrupted my study plan, or the depravity of learning made me lose the determination to pursue a beautiful love.

Everyone will have their own fate, just like the iron donkey teacher, the homeroom teacher chemistry teacher and the math teacher, I will never know their love story, but I know that their teachings and influence on me at that specific time period completely changed my emotional world, subverted my love destiny, and at the same time, made my youth so colorful.