Yunxin, the father of Cao'er, was only twenty-five years old when he lost his beloved wife, although the children of poor families were in charge of the family early, but after all, he was young, and he couldn't extricate himself from the pain of losing his wife, and he couldn't think of his responsibilities as a father.

He works on the team from Monday to Friday, and on weekends he either goes out to work or sleeps at home. Once he was depressed, he went to his father-in-law's house to find his father-in-law and brother-in-law to drink, and often got drunk.

Yunxin, Cao'er's young father, was drunk, and his family and friends knew that he was just borrowing wine to drown his sorrows, so they couldn't bear to stop his love for liquor. Besides, the young men at that time liked to drink a few drinks when they had nothing to do, and they were very usual. No one notices the dangers of alcohol.

Grandma Cao'er thought of what the goddess said about Cao'er's life, and she didn't dare to let her granddaughter get closer to her father, plus she always remembered that she had promised her granddaughter's mother Ming Qing to help her take care of her daughter. Looking at her miserable son and poor granddaughter, what Grandma Cao'er can do is to take care of almost all of her granddaughter's daily life by herself, so that the granddaughter and her father are even more estranged.

It is normal for Yunxin to not be very close to Cao'er, and there is no young father in the village who will circle around his children. The division of labor in the family has always been clear, the young men in the family are the main labor force in the family, and when the children are young, it is impossible for the young men in the family to take care of them, and almost all of them are handed over to the old people or wives in the family.

For Cao'er's father Yunxin, there is another reason why he is not close to his daughter very well, that is, when he sees his daughter, he can't help but think of his wife who went early, and his heart is even more sad, and he can't help but immerse himself in his work, and even go back home.

But for the growth of his daughter, Yunxin, as a father, is not unconcerned.

Cao'er's mother was not yet twenty-six when she died, and according to village customs, those who died early could not return to the village. At that time, after the cremation, the ashes were placed in the funeral home and not taken home.

When the funeral home notified to collect the ashes, the urns of the Ming and Qing dynasties were messed up with the surrounding urns, and it was already impossible to distinguish who was who. Cao'er's father thinks about it, his wife has lived in his past memories and it is impossible to erase it, so it doesn't matter so much whether the ashes are or not. Now that it's chaotic, it's over, and that's it.

Since then, every year, the Yun family will not make more sacrifices to Cao'er's mother who died early, only Cao'er's grandmother and Cao'er's father simply give incense to Cao'er's mother on the New Year's festival or the fifteenth day of the new year.

Yunxin's purpose in doing this is not to remember his wife, but to not want her daughter to have regrets in her heart, although this defect naturally exists, but she can't also sink into the pain of losing her mother.

Therefore, all the belongings in the family about Cao'er's mother were thrown away and burned by Cao'er's father, and not even a photo was left.

It can be imagined how sad it was when Cao'er's father threw the photos of his wife who died early, his daughter's mother, and the photos into the brazier one by one, and it was the blood-dripping heartache he himself experienced that he didn't want to arise in his daughter's heart, so he would rather let his daughter's heart be better without the traces of her mother.

Because of this, the rest of the family, taking into account both Cao'er's father's emotions and Cao'er's growth, consciously did not talk about the Ming and Qing Dynasties - that kind and beautiful woman, she lives in the hearts of Cao'er's elders, but she will not be able to appear in Cao'er's heart.

Ruthless, sometimes, better than affectionate. If ruthlessness is a lock, locking a courtyard door that cannot be opened, then deep love will be a seed, if it is rooted in a child's heart, buried, the next year will grow painful fruits, so that the child's growth time has a bitter taste that continues to grow.

Cao'er's father chose a lock for his daughter to lock up the shortcomings of this pain and not overflow, instead of letting the seeds of pain continue to grow in his daughter's growth.

But no one expected that this lock also locked the closeness of Cao'er and her father's heart.

No one in the family dared to mention her mother to her, and they rarely mentioned her father, because if she did, it would naturally make Cao'er think about her mother. Simply, everyone doesn't mention Mom and Dad. Even the father himself has never emphasized his identity in front of his daughter.

So, when other people's children are all babbling and learning to learn the first title of their parents is parents, Cao'er, for her parents, her heart is completely blank, and she never thinks about her parents. The young grass was afraid to avoid the serious man in the family when she saw it on one of the few occasions. In her heart, she has never taken the initiative to give birth to the concept of parents, and she doesn't know what her parents are.

When Cao'er was three years old, her father, who had returned from studying in other places, walked outside the door and happened to see Cao'er playing alone. He knew that his daughter was alienated from him and was afraid of himself, but he remembered the delicious egg rolls he bought for his daughter, so in order not to scare his daughter, he squatted down two or three meters away from his daughter, and said to his daughter who was standing two or three meters away looking at him:

"Call me! Tell me to give you an egg roll. ”

Cao'er's father, who was accustomed to being serious, didn't realize that his face was still serious, or he was nervous, after all, his daughter had been afraid and avoided him in the past few years, and then facing his daughter, he wanted to be close, but he didn't know how to get close so as not to scare his little daughter.

Cao'er looked at the person squatting far away, and his instinct was that one of his relatives, this natural blood connection, no matter how estranged, or cut, but he let himself call him, what to call him? Cao'er's mind was at a loss. She struggled in her head, but she couldn't figure out what to call him.

The egg roll in his father's hand did not show even the slightest interest in Cao'er's interest in it:

Cao'er doesn't want to get something that she doesn't know what should be her own. I don't know who inherited this natural sense of calmness and boundaries for material desires, or it stems from the family roots that the Yun family naturally upholds to eat with their own hands and never covets things that don't belong to them.

The little grass stood blankly and looked at a relative of the family who was holding an egg roll not far away, and didn't know what to do, so she turned her head and cried, crying and crying for her grandmother, while looking for her grandmother who was busy in the house.

Cao'er's father couldn't help but be a little annoyed and helplessly "sigh", looked at his daughter who ran away crying, put away the egg rolls stupidly, stood up, and didn't enter the living room, but went directly back to the room in a village hall across the living room from the living room at home, read and went to sleep.

In the love without the steady sunshine of parents, in the courtyard gate that is locked in the heart of the grass, what is growing is the eerie cold wind and empty barrenness that no one is aware of. This kind of barrenness through the cold wind is not only the lack of Cao'er's inner sense of security, but also the loss of Cao'er's taste of love brought about by the lack of father's and mother's love.