In the afternoon, I left a note for my mother that I had gone out for a while, and then I carried a basket on my back and took a medical book to the mountains to slowly look for medicinal herbs. It's the most direct and easiest way, no one taught me, so I'm on my own.

Some medicinal materials are particularly similar, I have been distressed for a long time for this matter, I really don't have the talent in this area, the medicine pavilion doctor said that I can achieve hard work, yes, hard work, I have paid a lot of sweat and hard work, I told myself, Liujun, no matter how much you don't like it, no matter how far this road is, you have to persevere, you have to be serious, you have to complete your mother's dream.

This is 5 years. One night, my mother was sick, and it was too late to find a doctor, so I prescribed my own medicine and collected my own medicinal herbs, and I was very sure about my mother's illness.

I miss that day because I was really happy. It was also from that moment that I especially wished that my mother would continue to be sick so that I could take care of her and be by her side. She wouldn't have been sneering at me.

After taking care of her mother for a few days, she recovered. The people in the village knew that they had healed my mother, and they all praised me for my filial piety and promising.

But what I never expected was that my mother went into the study and took out all the medical books, and then called me, I thought that my mother was to praise me for taking care of her, in order to thank me.

"Mother, you are just right, don't be too tired" I smiled and reminded my mother, she was still very weak.

"I can't keep these medical books, and these things about medical books that you recorded" My mother looked at the medical books around me and the medical books piled up on the pavilion, and looked at me indifferently.

"W-what does that mean?" The smile on my face disappeared in an instant, what's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong.

"Burn them to ashes"

"No, mother, mother, mother, I beg you, I beg you, please, don't burn it, okay? These are all my "how can I burn it?,This is what I finally sorted out.,And aren't these all my mother's treasures?"

"Yeliujun, let me tell you, no matter what the reason is in this life, you can't learn medical skills, let alone spiritual power...... I'm raising you, just do good deeds in a down-to-earth manner, don't trouble me" My mother interrupted my prayers, becoming more and more indifferent.

"Mother, I didn't trouble you, I studied medicine for your dreams and to save people"

"I don't need to, who are you? Listen, I don't need to, if I find out that you are secretly studying medicine, you will leave this house" The mother said indifferently, and then turned to leave.

"Okay, okay, Liujun knows, I don't learn it, don't burn them" I knelt and begged my mother, these are my mother's treasures, they can't be destroyed because of themselves, and these are also my own hard work.

"Let's burn it," the mother threw the medical books from the pavilion on the pile of medical books in the courtyard, and then threw the lit candles on it as well.

"No, no, mother"

Mother, she actually burned them in front of me. I also burned the notes I took and the medicinal materials I made at home, looking at the blazing fire, looking at my 5 years of hard work, looking at my mother's casual expression, my heart hurts, it hurts so much that there is no emotion, tears roll down without fear, no matter how hard and tired these years, I have not said a word of happiness, let alone shed a tear, but at this moment, I am so painful.

I watched the burning flame silently and let the tears flow. For five years, I had no friends, no idle play. All my efforts have not been recognized, and I am still trampled on in this way. And the person who hurt me the most is the person I love and respect the most.

I kept guarding the pile of medical books, guarding them as they were burned to ashes bit by bit, and I cried for a long, long time, and then, for some reason, I couldn't see anything but tears in my eyes......

When I woke up, I found myself lying in bed, and it was my aunt next door who took care of me.

"Liujun. You finally woke up, scared your aunt to death, is there anything uncomfortable? "My aunt took my hand and looked at me nervously.

"Auntie, where is my mother?"

"She's out, don't worry, child, your mother loves you very much" Seeing my loss, my aunt began to comfort me again.

"Auntie, tell me the truth, has my mother never come to see me" I looked at my aunt weakly, in fact, I already had the answer in my heart. Over the years, I really can't feel the love that my aunt said about my mother.

"This ...... Liujun, you"

"It's okay, Auntie, I know, I'm used to it"

"Liujun, you have to understand your mother. No mother doesn't love her child," my aunt comforted me, yes, but my mother was different.

"I see, rest assured aunt"

"Liujun, over the years, you have done too much for your mother. I believe that she will understand this love, and you should also do something you like, after all, you are still a child, you know? ”

"Good"

At that moment, I figured it out, no matter how hard I tried. still can't cover my mother's cold heart. I've done too many things I don't like over the years, so I should do something I like.

That night, I slipped out of the house alone and went to the restaurant, where I drank a lot of wine, and I often heard people say that wine can forget worries. I can't remember how much I drank, the boss urged me to leave, I paid the money before I got up slowly, I didn't want to go back to that home, but there was no way, from childhood to adulthood, I can remember what my mother said to me, she never cared about herself, and she didn't even look at her when she was about to die, it was really enough.

I staggered home, but when I walked into the yard, I sat down on the ground, although I was very drunk, but I always reminded myself that I should not be drunk to find my mother, she would be sad, she would be sad, I never made her happy, I didn't expect that in the end, I still loved her very much......

In this way, I lay in the yard all night, and also stayed quietly all night. The sun rose early, and because it was morning, it also became much gentler. I heard a sound coming from the house, so I slowly got up and knocked on my mother's door.

"Come in," remembered the mother's voice.

"Mother, I" I stood trembling in front of my mother, with the smell of wine, and my head was consciously lowered and lowered. Although I kept reminding myself that I should change, I still didn't fight.

"Yeliujun, you take this burden on the table" The mother got up and lay on the soft couch and looked at me quietly.

"Ah, what, this?" Looking at the burden, my heart was very panicked, and my worst fear was coming......

"You have the ability to live, you are no longer a child, and I am not obligated to raise you anymore. Let's go," the mother said lightly, as if she was driving away an outsider.

"Mother, you, are you joking" I was very surprised, I never thought that my mother would be so ruthless.

"Let's go, read it in our mother and son, I won't drive you away, and I will leave you some silver"

"Mother, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't do anything good, I can change it, I must be obedient in the future, don't drive me away, don't go anywhere, I want to accompany my mother, I, please, please" I cried and knelt in front of my mother, I wanted to change, but I couldn't leave this home, although I couldn't get my mother's approval, but at least I had a home.

"Yeliujun, if you still recognize me as a mother, you should leave like this, don't let me feel that you have achieved nothing, and you are weak again and again" The mother accentuated her tone, which frightened my heart and tightened.

"I'm not leaving, who will take care of you after I'm gone" I said stubbornly, hoping that my mother would be soft-hearted. Besides, my mother only has one relative, and when she leaves, who can take care of her.

"Nanxun will take care of me, he is smart and sensible, I have him enough"

"Mother, do you really think so?" I don't know why, when I heard the name Nanxun, I was very angry.

"Or else? Why should I keep you such a piece of shit? I thought that my handwriting was very clever and I was going to show off everywhere, thinking that I would be able to relieve the common people with a little medical skills, and these Nanxun people you did would be able to take better care of me without you. My mother suddenly stared at me and said mockingly.

"Waste? Mother, I am your son, your only family, Nanxun is the son of your aunt, is your aunt's "Nanxun is the pride of Beicun, he has superb medical skills, young and promising. I never liked him, because my mother was always very patient with him.

"He's your aunt's, and he's mine. And you, no one, let's go"

"Over the years, I have been working very hard, whether it is writing or studying, I have been trying my best to do my best. You only say that I don't do well, I don't do enough, you only see me showing off my pride, but you never know that I do all this, I just hope you can admit that I am your pride, you have never given me a smile when you are so big, you have never accompanied me to have a meal, you have never accompanied me to do something, but you often give gentleness to Nanxun and to an outsider. Okay, I don't complain, I don't hate you, I've been working hard, desperately trying to protect this family and protect you. But can you think about it from my point of view, I will always regard you as a mother, and the first person I will always think of is you, but you have broken my heart again and again, from today on, you are no longer my mother, you remember that you don't want me, not me who doesn't want you. I don't want these things anymore, and I never belonged to this family anyway. I want to say that I am just a child, I just want to be able to be by my mother's side forever, but everything is my own passion, everything is my self-righteousness.

"Let's go! Never come back, I don't want to see you again" After speaking, the mother closed her eyes and began to rest, without any retention or uneasiness in her tone.

"Yes, I don't want to see you again"

Get up and wipe away the tears from the corners of my eyes, at that moment, I only have hatred in my eyes, turn around and leave, slowly leave this home, I swear, if there is a chance one day, I really want to set aside my young heart and see, why can he be so ruthless? Goodbye, Kitamura, I'll never come back, goodbye, so many years of stupid myself, from today on, I want to be a different version of myself, to find my own life.

In this place, I didn't take any riches, let alone any memories, just let them all be left in the darkness and become a dream. No matter what the future holds, I will definitely have a future that I am proud of.