"I've always had hope, but I've had to face despair. I thought, is it that when I grow up, he won't think I'm a kid anymore? Don't you think what I'm saying is childish and unscrupulous? After all, when I said I liked him, I was only ten years old, thirteen years old, and seventeen years old. Qi Ming is seven years older than me, only I know that I am really not messing around, I really don't rely on him, I really like him. This love is four whole years...... In the past four years, I have only quarreled with him, there is no heart-to-heart, only hurting each other, and I have not cared for each other, but I still love him, and I still can't do without him......"

"Even, I came to Chang'an for him, in fact, I hate these rules and regulations the most, for the palace, I have no interest in the slightest, but the great court Dunhuang originally only needed to send envoys, but when I heard that Liyan was injured, I ran to my father and told him that I wanted to come to Chang'an, because I wanted to see Qi Ming, I wanted to see him really standing in front of me, even if it was just a quarrel......"

"But, hehe......" Twilight sneered, tears still falling. I understand her pain, the premature saying of the like, finally blown away in the wind, and by the time you are really qualified to say this, you have lost the opportunity and identity to say this......

"All along, I even thought that his character was like this, that there would not be too much tenderness, that there would not be too much sensuality. Gentle and calm, this is how any woman and anything will be like this, and this is how I am constantly struggling between hope and despair, just waiting for the day when he can understand me, only waiting for the day when he can feel sorry for my waiting. However, so soon, there was a Heze, and I saw him smiling at Heze and talking softly to Heze...... I thought it was just between the two of us, but because of the intervention of a third party, I was completely separated from him, making me feel like I was nothing. ”

"I hate Heze, not because I don't know that she was wronged, but because she can rightfully marry Qi Ming! How can this be? But Qi Ming seems to have a good impression of her, gentle with her, considerate to her, do you know how crazy my heart is! But I can only hate, because compared to that woman, I am still a little bit, she is so gentle, so smart, so sensible, compared to her I am so bad...... I can't be as gentle as her, I can't be as sensible as her, and I can't be as knowledgeable as her...... I can't...... I can't......

"Why can't I do it!!" Her clenched little fist suddenly slammed into the table, screaming from the bottom of her heart.

"He likes women like that...... He likes a woman who is as gentle as he is, but why can't I do it! So I'm angry! So I quarreled with him! That's why I'm against this marriage! I hate, I hate why I'm not the way he likes to be!! ”

Twilight is hysterical.

It's the first time I've seen her cry so badly when she's not afraid of heaven and earth, and I've always thought that Twilight just thinks about whether she wants to or not, and there are naturally too many people to take care of the rest of the things, and her pride and domineering can override everyone and everything! However, she even has such an embarrassing heart, she will also doubt herself, hate herself, want to change herself, and lower her proud head to the dust for the sake of that man......

But that man didn't know, he didn't know that this simple and transparent heart was full of him! She is acting alone in this one-man show full of bitterness.

I always thought that she had a smooth life, she could have whatever she wanted, and she could be the freest and most casual person in the world, but as everyone knows, she has been hurting for four years, wronged for four years, suffering for four years, and forbearance for four years for the person she loves...... Even if this man doesn't love her, she wants to be the one he likes, and she wants to try to make him love herself......

"I went to look for Qiming again last night, and I can't stand the fact that he is really in love with someone else...... I asked him, will he really marry Heze? I was so nervous that I didn't know what the answer would be, but I wanted to hear him say no, and I wanted him to understand my mind. But he said with a wary face, of course he would, because this is a good thing, and it is a good thing for Beimo and Chang'an. ”

"Is it true that love or not love someone can be judged by good things and bad things? Can it be decided by political power? He doesn't love Heze, he must not love it. I don't want to see him marry another woman, I don't want to see him do those so-called righteous sacrifices! If you can't even keep your heart, then how can you stick to your family and country! ”

"So, be sensible, huh? You have to think about the common people in the world, right? Think about it from the perspective of a prince, right? Don't always put on a high posture with me! I can do that, too! Twilight said, a resolute look in her eyes for the first time.

"I clearly know my own worth, if I marry the prince, the saint will be very happy, even if I want to be the future queen, he will definitely agree. Because of Dunhuang, he will easily become a real overlord! In this way, he doesn't need to leave you in the palace to hold the Northern Desert countries hostage, so he doesn't need to send Heze to the Northern Desert for fear of the Northern Desert countries. For so many hundreds of years, for Chang'an, it has always been a shame to be kind, the saint's waist is hard, even if Heze is really affectionate to Qiming, he will never allow his daughter to marry into the Northern Desert. Then in this way, Qi Ming doesn't have to marry Heze again! ”

This silly girl! This can certainly prevent Qi Ming from marrying someone else, but she knows that if she does this, she will never be with Qi Ming again! Is she angry or stupid?

But I have to admit that I did underestimate Twilight, I thought she would just smile innocently, and then someone else would solve all her troubles for her, but I was really wrong, the pain she endured was hidden perfectly under her smile, so that no one could see the clues, and no comforting sunshine would spill into my heart......

That kind of loneliness and loneliness can't be said, can't be said, when the little heart is piled up, but can only cover up the emotions that are about to pour out through a smile, and then comfort yourself, be stronger, be stronger, let the capacity of the heart be a little bigger, a little bigger, and finally be filled by this person...... The attachment to him can't be hollowed out, and he can only be alone in the dark night when he doesn't see the light of day.

She wept quietly, her body was gone, the joy and freedom of the past were gone, like a flying butterfly that had been drained of life, leaving only a lifeless and stunned body.

Is it that the daughter's family is always easy to fall in love, always trapped by love, and finally falls deeper and deeper...... But for a girl, love is her soul!

"And now, I'm looking away...... If you can all sacrifice for this, why can't I? I can do it too...... Even as long as I marry the crown prince, the civil strife in the Northern Desert can be completely avoided, and Hui Hui's ambition to win over Chang'an to attack the Xiongnu can only be dead. ”

She said indifferently, my heartache is not lighter than her, when you see a person who smiles all day suddenly crying one day, when you see a self-righteous and casual person one day begins to understand righteousness, your heart will be more painful and uncomfortable than you have personally encountered this situation, which seems to be the world's last insistence on simplicity, and voluntarily bow to others because of love.

"Since I can't be with Qi Ming, his heart is not with me, so it doesn't matter if I marry anyone, so why don't I let myself have some value?"

My tears fell little by little with her, silly girl, why didn't you tell Qi Ming? Why are you so direct and willful? But I also know that Qi Ming likes Twilight, how can Qi Ming grab a favorite woman with his younger brother......

I was anxious, she seemed to understand what I wanted to say, and said calmly: "This matter, I really want to stop it now...... I've loved him for four whole years, and I've used up all my weakness and patience, and sometimes I wonder, Twilight, when did you have such softness and tenderness? While I looked down on myself like this, I silently defended him in my heart, my eyes were raining for him, but my heart was holding an umbrella for him......"

"And now, I'm tired, I don't want to go on like this anymore......"

"And you, Sister Qingyi, I'll be this nasty queen, you go and be with Ye Linghan, love him bravely, don't care about any identity, don't care about face, because it's not easy to have a man who can live for you, die for you, and do everything for you! You have to cherish it. ”

"Now, I'm going to be proud again, I'm tired, I don't want to go on like this...... I only hope that he will have his happiness in the future, but I don't want to see it again. Therefore, I want to marry first, I want to break my thoughts first, and from then on, I will forget about each other. Farewell......"

I walked over and hugged her head, letting her tears wet my clothes little by little. Actually, she knows everything...... She is not arrogant and willful at all, in front of the person she loves, she is still low to the dust, even if she does it completely for him, and he understands it as willful nonsense...... This should also be the last time she will pay for him, but this time, she gave her all......

There are thousands of kinds of love in this world, unrequited love is the most hurtful one, and secret love is the most painful one, but Twilight Snow just collected all of them, not only fell in love with a rider who didn't like her, but also forced to hide this feeling in his heart because of his identity and face, and he couldn't pursue it well and feel it.