"So who are you blaming here now? Blame me for not saving Di Ying and the child? Ji Xiaoyao sat on the ground, Qin Chu grabbed his clothes and pulled him towards him: "Who should be blamed the most?" ”

Seeing that he had his eyes closed, his teeth clenched, and his jaw tightened, Qin Chu still had a lot of things to say in his heart, but he swallowed them all back.

"Take good care of Di Ying, abortion is very bad for a woman's health. Stay with her well. Qin Chu's Adam's apple rolled, and he raised his hand to support his forehead: "There are still ...... Di Ying's body has fallen to the root of the disease. ”

"What?" Ji Xiaoyao raised his head suddenly.

Qin Chu bit his chin tightly and said: "You used to let her soak in cold water for a long time, and since then Di Ying has been very afraid of cold and has suffered from cold, so her physique is difficult to conceive, this pregnancy is considered lucky, if she conceives a child again in the future, it may not be so easy." But I'll give her a good condition, maybe there's still a chance to ......"

“……”

Ji Xiaoyao's heart fell into the abyss little by little, he couldn't think of the past scenes, how much damage he had brought to Di Ying's soul, just now he was able to blame Qin Chu, but he knew too little about Di Ying, too little, and didn't know much at all. Even these injuries were brought to her by him himself.

A few years ago, Di Ying came to Murakami Village to find herself, and he pointed to the cold lake water for her to jump into, and then he still took people away, and he didn't care about the people in the water. Later, he only heard that Di Ying had been in the hospital for a long time and was seriously ill, but he didn't know that these had caused her lifelong damage.

Ji Xiaoyao closed his eyes in pain, Qin Chu just glanced at him lightly, what's the use of regretting it now?

……

He didn't know how he got to the hospital room, watching the cold liquid flow down the tube and into her body.

Di Ying had a long, long dream, blue sea and blue sky, a girl in a small blue dress kept running on the beach, giggling, sweet soft and glutinous voice: "Mom, you come to catch me, you come to catch me......"

Di Ying had been running, she had been trying to run towards her, but the child looked back at her, getting farther and farther away from herself, she called the child's name, but there was only the child's laughter in her ears, she was getting farther and farther away from herself, she couldn't catch the child at all.

She opened her eyes suddenly, and all she saw was snow white, and her surroundings were quiet, and between her noses was the strong smell of disinfectant water, the smell she hated the most. She opened her eyes and closed them heavily, tears sliding down the corners of her eyes, and her hand was on her abdomen, where there was still a slight pain.

The clear feeling of pain was a clear reminder to myself.

The happiness she once had, no matter how she grabbed it, she couldn't grasp it, she was cold all over. Scratching his clothes and looking up, he couldn't help but cry bitterly. She held her head and buried herself in the quilt, the feeling of suffocation made her feel relieved and relieved, she thought, why don't you just leave it at that, just die.

The baby is so small, will she be lonely and lonely over there? She should be very scared, she doesn't want to leave her alone, just alone.

She woke up, Qin Chu brought someone over to check on her, Ji Xiaoyao didn't dare to touch her, Qin Chu lifted the quilt and saw that she was covered in sweat, her whole face was full of tears, she buried her head on the pillow, and there was a large piece of wetness on it.

I don't know how long she cried, she just felt that she didn't have any strength in her body, Qin Chu wiped her face with a towel, Di Ying held his hand and still couldn't believe it: "Qin Chu, my child is not dead, right, you tell me, I am dreaming, the child is fine, it is still in the stomach, you tell me ......"

She grabbed Qin Chu's hand as if she was still struggling, Qin Chu's movements stopped, and she swallowed with difficulty: "I'm sorry, Sakura, I ......"

Di Ying closed her eyes.

Qin Chu said: "I will help you regulate your body, and there is still a chance to ......"

"No......" she shook her head, a muffled, painful voice came from far away: "I have known this for a long time, the doctor said a long time ago, it is not easy for me to have a child, I originally thought that I could keep this child, knowing that when he came to me, I felt that God was not thin on me, no matter what, even if it was my life, I would desperately protect him, I wanted to bring her into this world, no matter whether anyone likes him or not, I will raise him well." But...... It can't be anymore...... I'll still be alone ...... future."

She seemed to lose the motivation to live in an instant.

There was a depressing aura in the patient.

No one spoke, and they didn't know what to say.

Di Ying held her face, tears kept flowing out, the grief made her completely immersed, she didn't know what she could do, thinking of that dream, thinking of the little girl in the blue dress, she felt that she was not as good as dead at that time.

Night was slowly falling, and she was there crying all the time. Ji Xiaoyao has been standing at the door listening to the faint voice of grief, but the two hearts are so far away from the door that they can't touch each other at all.

Qin Chu couldn't stand it in the end, walked out, and patted him on the shoulder: "You think it's okay to hide?" I can't hide for a while. ”

Ji Xiaoyao leaned there and his shoulders hung down weakly, and after a long time, he pushed open the door, the footsteps were very soft, and his feet stepped on the thick carpet he looked at the woman on the bed with his back to him, and Di Ying's small body shrank there.

Di Ying heard the faint sound of footsteps, and as soon as the man came in, she knew that she was too familiar with his aura, and as long as he was there, she could immediately feel it.

But now she hated the feeling to death.

Ji Xiaoyao sat on the chair on one side, the silent air lingered around, he looked down and saw her pale and bloodless face, Ji Xiaoyao reached out and grabbed the weak hand and put it on his forehead, his voice was very deep, very heavy, and the feeling of powerlessness that he had never felt before swept through his body, Qin Chu's words, and Di Ying's words all made his heart swept with shock, tearing his senses, Di Ying didn't move, and he didn't have the strength to break free from him.

"I'm sorry Di Ying...... I'm sorry, I didn't know you had our baby in your belly, I'm sorry...... I didn't know those things would have hurt you so much back then. ”

"Excuse me? Is it possible to erase these with a word of sorry? Ji Xiaoyao used to think that I wouldn't hate you, but now I realize that I don't have so much tolerance, maybe I'm disgusted because I'm fed up, everything in the past is all the obstacles between us, I'm thinking, why am I so obsessed with it, bearing the hurt you give me, in the end, I can't even hold on to what I want to stay the most, everything is because of you. She said.

She spoke, but her eyes were closed.

When he slowly opened his eyes, he saw that in a corner of the ward, Ji Xiaoyao was still wearing the black shirt and a coat on the outside, and the whole person looked a little haggard, he was holding his hand, but she didn't feel any warmth.

That person was what she remembered, but she felt very strange, even after knowing each other for so many years, it was still very strange.

"Ji Xiaoyao, when I entered the Ji family at the age of five, in fact, you were very good to me at that time, I was autistic, it was you who coaxed me to eat, read me storybooks, and played with me...... You know that's when I'm the happiest, and there will be people in school to protect me, and I've always felt like you're standing tall at that time, and I've been relying on you since I was very young, and then quietly liking you. It's sad to see you with other girls. Later, you got farther and farther away from me, and I tried to do my best...... I'm trying to follow your steps, to go to the school you went to, to sit where you used to be, and to think about how you would feel when you sat there......"

At that time, Qi Weilan thought she was crazy.

She also felt like she was crazy.

"At that time, I thought that my world would only have you, but ...... Ji Xiaoyao, what kind of magic do you have that makes me like you, all you give me is sadness, but I still can't help but like you. I know you're not going to like me, so why should I look forward to it? ”

She finally couldn't help but break down.

began to denounce him.

He wanted Di Ying to vent all the unwillingness in his heart.

Ji Xiaoyao held his hand against his face, and his heart was full of resentment, helplessness, and regret: "I'm sorry, Di Ying...... I'm sorry...... I ......"

He couldn't find any words other than to say sorry, these three weak, pale words.

There is no position to say.

"You know what? I'm sorry how cruel the three words are. She said: "So many people always feel that after hurting others, they can just say sorry and wash away the sins they have committed, and they are at fault." So if there is no mistake at all, should they go and receive those punishments that they should not accept for free? ”

Now he's just guilty.

She said: "The child can be saved, I called your name when you left with Sun Mengying......

Ji Xiaoyao's body twitched again, he heard it, but he didn't look back.

"You're gone, leaving me alone. At that time, I wanted to take a taxi to the hospital, but no one wanted to send me over, until I finally couldn't hold on until I fainted on the side of the road, no one took the initiative to help me, and my child and I could only wait there silently to die. I silently felt her leave me......"

"I dreamed of her, I dreamed that she was a very cute girl."

"Ji Xiaoyao, I can be a mother, I will never have a chance in the future, and I will never have that opportunity again......"

Her voice was filled with sadness.

She's just a woman who lost her child, who lost everything.