As if taken aback by my excitement, Lin Zhicheng's hand on my shoulder trembled slightly, but he still didn't take it down, but lowered his voice, he looked at me like this and said, "Don't get excited, I didn't mean that." ”

He just said a very ordinary sentence, but I seemed to fall into a dead end of my thinking, so I opened his hand like last time, and stared at him from a distance of more than 30 centimeters and said to myself: "Do you really like children?" “

Lin Zhicheng looked at me for a moment, and finally he nodded with a very complicated expression that I couldn't guess.

And my heart broke to the ground.

My grief and despair were even greater than the night I beat him, and my anger rose like this, I glared at him, suddenly raised my voice and asked coldly: "You like other people's children, but everything that is other people's is cute, and your own is hateful, isn't it?" ”

Lin Zhicheng's expression suddenly panicked, he probably saw me shaking, his hand stretched out, but I opened his hand and poked it with my hand at the position of his heart, and tears suddenly rushed down like this.

I poked his heart with my finger: "Isn't it that other people's children are cute, my children should be damned, what did I do wrong to meet a devil like you in this life, you can do without me, I thank you for letting me go!" But why can't you let my child go, he's been three months old, and he's going to have a heartbeat soon, he's a life! Are you human! Lin Zhicheng, what's the matter, now come and whisper to me? Didn't you drag before? I'm telling you! People all over the world can drag in front of me, but what the fuck do you have to drag in front of me, why the fuck do you think that you are rich now and have the world, and you don't even deserve to be a person. Tiger Venom knows how to protect children, but you're no fucking beast! You are not as good as a beast, why can a person like you live well, and I should go to hell. ”

Talking incoherently and scolding him with tears, my hand was not idle at all, and I withdrew from his heart, and I kept slapping him again.

I thought that my tears had already fallen, and I thought that I would never say these words that had been brewing in my body for three years, but now how can I be so calm, just like this, while slapping him, I continued to say to him with all my might: "Lin Zhicheng, is it in your opinion, I am very cheap, I am very easy to use, I will sleep with you casually, I didn't see red for the first time, do you think I am a rotten person, a woman like me is not worth cherishing at all." When I knew you, I was able to run to a nightclub for hundreds of thousands of foreign debts, I was cheap, I was moved when you helped me once, and I felt that you were the best person in the world to me except for my aunt. ”

slapped him again, and I continued to murmur as if living in a human world: "Not long after I came to Hongde, you later said that you liked me, you said that I lived in your heart, why was I so happy at that time, I think you took me to the clouds, and then why did you let me go to hell?" I thought you gave me the whole world, but why did my world collapse at your hands? Do you know how my aunt left, some people in the village said that I was your second wife, and said that I was a junior, that I was unmarried and pregnant, that my aunt was a good person for most of her life, and she had never blushed with anyone, she felt that you were sincere to me, and she later quarreled with others for you, and she had a stroke because of this, and she didn't leave me anything, and I don't know how much she blamed me now. Lin Zhicheng, you see that she trusts you so much, she thinks that you are my beloved, she has told you many times to go to my house and she will catch pheasants for you to replenish your body, she also thinks that you are the person who can give me a good life, she took out all her heart and gave it to you. But Lin Zhicheng, what did you do to me later! What do you say you've done to me! ”

My hand was raised again, and I threw it down with all my might, and the crisp sound became a rumbling sound in my eardrums, like thunder.

And Lin Zhicheng in front of him seemed to have turned into a stone sculpture, and he stood there like this, letting me beat and scold without saying a word.

And I was completely insane.

Or maybe it's because I've been holding it for too long.

So at this moment, I was so impulsive to tear the wounds open layer by layer in front of Lin Zhicheng, and let these bloody and blurry things crawl up densely like summer water plants, driving away all the little courage I had left to survive.

It was the filth and obscurity that I told myself never to show when I was sober.

I put my hand on his heart again, made a machete gesture, and I said fiercely, "If I had a knife now, I would definitely dig out your heart to see if it was black." Lin Zhicheng, even if you think I have a sharp personality in the back, think I'm not easy to control, think I'm a femme fatale, you don't want me anymore, you made it clear to me, did I entangle you later? You don't want children, did I say that you are responsible for letting you raise? I don't have any, no! I'm just telling you, you said you'd handle it! But can you handle it in a way that is not so extreme! Do you need someone to kick the child out of my belly, do you need to make your child a blur of blood, do you need to find someone to rape me! Do you need to explain that you have to kick my lower body until I am about to lose my fertility! Lin Zhicheng, I'm just in love with you, I'm just stupid when I was young and I had to drill into the world that didn't belong to me, I just thought I could squeeze into your heart when I was stupid, I was not the only stupid person when I was young, but when I met you, I had to pay so much for my stupidity! Even if you don't like me that much, even if I don't have my parents to ask for me, even if I'm an easy-to-use slut in your heart, just tell me the fuck, I'll go as far as I want, but is it necessary for you to trample on me like this! Is it necessary to spoil me like this! ”

I don't know if I was frightened by my madness, Lin Zhicheng hurriedly took a step back, and his head was lowered.

I reached out and casually wiped the cheap tears from my face, and my speech slowed down.

I'm really tired, and I just want to send this devil back to hell as soon as possible, and if not, let him roll far in front of me.

Smiled weirdly, I continued: "Lin Zhicheng, after the reunion, do you think that I have lived very well without you in the past three years, I have new friends around me, I don't buy your account anymore, you won't get used to it, you have to brush up on your sense of existence!" If I'm still miserable, I guess you won't be looking at me! Very well, I'll tell you now, don't be fooled by my superficial efforts. Now I am worse than anyone else, I am basically a nightmare every day, I dare not fall in love again, I am afraid of being known about my past, I am afraid of being known that I was so tragically pregnant and raped to the point of miscarriage, and I am also afraid that others will know that I may not be able to have children in the future. I thought about death, I had countless thoughts of wanting to die, I wanted to crash a car, I wanted to jump off a building, I wanted to jump into the sea, I wanted to take medicine, I even thought about cutting my wrists and committing suicide. I thought of so many ways to die, but in the end I couldn't die, I didn't dare to die, I didn't have the face to go to my aunt, I was afraid that she would scold me for wasting her food. I'm also afraid that if I die, no one will grave her, and leave her alone by the sea. I don't just owe it to my aunt, I also owe it to Wu Kaiyu, I owe so much debt that I don't even have the courage to die. You have a great sense of accomplishment, after all, you have a special presence in my life, because I am so miserable, all thanks to you! But how sad it is, you make me so miserable, I occasionally find a reason to forgive you, but the hatred is endless in the next second. Okay now, you're back together, you want to get back together, you want to come back, but Lin Zhicheng, I can't go back, I can't go back, I can never go back. ”

I'm really crazy, so that this old time that I can't cross will be presented in front of Lin Zhicheng in such a grand way, and let my heart that I have managed to piece together be torn apart like paper again, burned, and turned into ashes and ascended to heaven.

I know that the pure white youth train that belongs to me has gone far away, carrying my innocent and innocent soul, has gone a long way, and I will never go back to that distracting summer.

I was so tired that I squatted down like an ostrich that wouldn't look up, burying my head deep in my arms, and I couldn't hold back my tears that were rushing down like a torrential rain.

I wailed and cried like this, and I held my shoulders like this, and I was about to make an Atlantic, and I was going to drown myself in such a filthy and helpless self.

But I never had the chance to drown myself in tears.

Lin Zhicheng pounced on me like this and hugged me behind me, he grabbed my hand and threw it hard in his face, saying as he fell: "Zhou Mo, you beat me, you beat me to death." I didn't fulfill the responsibility that a man should have, I didn't protect you well, you beat me, you beat me hard, you beat me, you beat me to death a useless man. ”

I struggled hard, and soon I heard a more heart-rending cry, Lin Zhicheng wrapped his hands tightly around my body, his voice was so weak, he held my shoulders and released me to face him, his eyes were as red as rabbit eyes, he stared at me like this and said pitifully: "Zhou Mo, let's get married, marry me, I promise to be good to you in the future." ”

After venting, all I have left is the shell of the walking dead.

He is still the same Lin Zhicheng, and he always doesn't like to talk thoroughly.

But fortunately, I am no longer the same Zhou Mo as before, and I can finally get a glimpse of the clues in his words.

I understood the subtext of his words, which was that he was not the one who gave me this tragedy, but someone else.

But how could I be so calm?

Slowly breaking his fingers off, I finally put away my tears and said lightly, "No." ”