"I'm sure someone is watching you. Dr. Lou suddenly said this and looked at me very seriously. Why would you suddenly say that, I thought to myself. In fact, I also felt the feeling of being observed by accident one day, at first I just felt that a person was observing me, and then one day I felt that many people were observing me, and they were all stars that I liked and often appeared in TV dramas, of course, including some non-star celebrities. It's just that I've really never told anyone about it. Because no one had ever asked me that, I also felt that if I suddenly told someone like this, they would definitely not understand what was going on, let alone understand this feeling, and would instead think I was mentally ill. As a result, their views and attitudes towards me are also different, they may alienate me and treat me as an alternative, which does not mean that I think they are uncaring people, but in the eyes of ordinary people, mentally ill people are not the kind of people who are useless and will cause trouble, or they are dangerous people who may disrupt the lives of normal people and may even bring harm to normal people. After all, this does happen in real life. One day I was watching a news broadcast, and I saw a schizophrenic mother chopping her eight-year-old son into eight pieces with her own hands in front of her three-year-old daughter. Another story that I personally experienced, a female polio patient who was abandoned by her husband, could not accept the fact that she was abandoned by her husband, took off all her clothes, and overturned other people's pork stalls, and I saw her sitting alone on the cold street with her legs crossed, and she was sad. Suddenly, a lady who wanted to drive an electric car pulled her aside forcefully, just because she was in the way of her driving an electric car, and then the lady looked at her in disgust and rode away in a lightning flash. I saw the blood marks on her legs, all scratched by the rough ground, I thought she must be in pain, she must have needed to be cared for, comforted and cared for, but she was still abandoned by her husband when she needed her husband the most. "What are you thinking?" asked Dr. Lou, looking at me earnestly. I looked at him as if his expression had changed a little, remembering what I said to my mom the last time I was sick, and the one I said to my mom before I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for the first time. "You are Ruby Lin. "You are Yang Mi. I suddenly said to him, "Dr. Lou, do you think that the mentally ill are a burden?" and I regretted it, because he was such an easy person to live, as if nothing in this world was a matter for him. Dr. Lou didn't speak, he lowered his head and looked at the grass, then looked up at the distance, then at the sky, and said, "It's going to rain in a while, let's go back." I said to him, "Do you believe in demons? "It's fine, the sun is warm, or we'll sit back a little longer." Dr. Lou said suddenly. "Hmm. I nodded. Quietly feel the temperature of the grass and the sun. I squinted my eyes, opened them for a while, looked at everything in front of me, and suddenly felt good.

"I'm 100 per cent confident that I'm going to make a full recovery. I said to Dr. Lou. Dr. Lou looked at the dew on the grass and said, "Have you ever seen an ant pushing the dew away?" "Listen to me," Dr. Lou sighed, "is your favorite season autumn?" and I thought to myself, yes, how do you know? I can imagine the ants pushing the dewdrops away, because I have seen this picture before, and it feels beautiful, and I have a little nice feeling. It makes me feel like there are little things in my life. So I saved this photo, and I still have this photo in my computer, and I also set this photo as the avatar of my Taobao account. Whenever autumn comes, my mood can't help but improve, and I don't know why, but I especially like the feeling of the autumn breeze blowing, although it is cool, but it is very comfortable. "You're nervous right now, don't you feel like someone is watching you again?" Dr. Lou said. I didn't answer, just stayed quiet, enjoying the silence of the moment. "Do you know when evil and good began to oppose each other?" I still didn't answer Dr. Lou's words, but just listened quietly. "In fact, there is no right or wrong in the animal world, there is only the law of survival, that is, the law of the jungle. "It seemed like he was going to say a lot of long passages, and I listened quietly. "So in the animal world, as long as you can survive, almost all of them are strong. ”

Listening to his words, I really didn't feel anything, but I felt more and more sleepy, I really wanted to sleep, suddenly the sky was dark, "pop" a drop of rain on my hands, another drop of rain on my hands and face, I looked up at the sky, saw more and more raindrops dripping from the sky, I was also tired, and said to Dr. Lou, "Let's go." Dr. Lou looked at me as I stood up, his face gloomy, and said to me, "You don't know much, that's why you're the way you are." Then he got up and said to me, "Let's go back first." “

We returned to the staircase and he walked up the hallway, which was different from the usual hallway I had seen, from the normal building to the downstairs from the hallway, and to see the scenery far away (if there were no obstacles ahead), and this hallway could only see the closed gray walls. It's like being cut off from the world. He faced a gray wall to his left, and suddenly a door-like area vanished, only this time very slowly, and the sound of "creaking" machines could be heard. He walked into the area the size of the door and disappeared, and I followed him, and I could clearly see that it was pitch black inside, and I could hear the sound of breathing all around. This reminds me of the moment when the third uncle and Wuxian walked in the dim tomb but there was no light, their hearts were about to jump to their throats, their hairs stood up nervously, and their whole bodies were sweaty, and they had to be careful for fear of popping out of the zongzi and taking their lives in the tomb, suddenly Dr. Lou turned on the flashlight, and I could see the gray walls on three sides in front of me, "Nothing, Dr. Lou." "I mean I'm just living here? There's nothing here, not even a basic bed, let alone any other equipment, it's so basic. I thought to myself. Dr. Lou suddenly said, "You are waiting now, I will find a way to let you live in." "Hmm. I nodded, and Dr. Lou turned away from the small space, and at the same time he took the flashlight away, leaving me alone in a space darker than the pitch, and my mind began to wonder if there would be many pairs of eyes staring at me in the dark, whether there would be an eye like a wolf looking at me like a soul. Suddenly, the image of ghosts in countless ghost movies appeared in my mind, thinking of this, the orange warm light lit up above my head, one after another, I suddenly felt warm, laughed happily, and thought that I was finally not afraid of the dark. Suddenly, the gray wall to my right, an area as large as them trembled and disappeared, and there was a person in it, looking at me quietly, and I thought to myself, who is this? After two or three seconds, there was an orange light inside, which made me vaguely see this person, "Dr. Lou." He looked at me and the corners of his mouth rose slightly, "Didn't you go out, why are you here?"

"The guy you just saw, the guy with the flashlight, he's a patient, he's going to the wrong room for the first time today. “

"Oh. I said, "How can this be? Isn't he you?" Dr. Lou seemed to see my thoughts and said, "Don't you hear that his voice is different from mine?" Like, really, his voice is stiff, there is no sense of softness, not only that, but his whole person feels very sluggish, and his steps are very heavy when he walks, and the most important thing is that his shoes seem to be black leather shoes, so he will walk loudly and heavily, which I don't seem to pay much attention to. "Actually, I was already back when I was on the grass, and it was at that time that he walked to the grass and sat down to chat with you. Didn't you notice something wrong? Just now. "I think about it for a moment and it does feel like that. When I asked him if you think the mentally ill person is a burden, at this time he didn't answer, but told me that it was about to rain, let's go back first, and I asked him if he believed in the demons, and then he began to talk nonsense with me, talking about the laws of the animal world or something, and he had a gloomy face when he got up and stood up on the grass, which made me wonder in my heart, and wondered how Dr. Lou felt like a different person, but whenever I subconsciously felt abnormal discomfort, there was a silent voice that said, you have to divert your attention, you have to pretend that everything is normal, because in the world you live in, all people are normalYou have to get along with them like a normal person, and you can't let them think you're abnormal. Otherwise, their reaction will be to reject you. Or create a communication barrier with you. Thinking of this, Dr. Lou seemed to see through my thoughts and said to me: "Here you can relax, you don't have to pretend to be normal to anyone, you can do what you feel subconsciously." After saying that, he paused, and then said, "To tell you this secret, everything in this building is not normal, so you don't need to normalize everything you encounter." Also, to give you something that shows who you are, you put your hand out. I looked at Dr. Lou and said all this gently, and finally there was not so much pressure in my heart, and there had never been one who made me so relaxed like Dr. Lou, and I remembered how the tension I had always felt came from. When I was in school, the teacher kept handing out test papers, and constantly pressured us students who had various ideas about their future life. Parents have also been putting pressure on us children who want to live happily all the time, who can play, sleep, and spend money to buy all kinds of snacks and toys, "If you can't get into college, you have to face the loess with your back to the sky like us, and you have to work in the fields under the sun. If you look at your hands again, they look like they have worked, I don't let you do any work in the fields at home, you just go to school, can it be difficult for you? I still have to earn money, I have to work hard, I have to do housework, how can I be as idle as you, I have to learn a lot. If I were you, I would study hard, get into a good university, sit in the office and blow the air conditioner, it is warm in winter and cool in summer, and everyone envies you, you rely on your brain to eat. It's not like me and your dad, we have to rely on physical strength to earn money. "This is what my mother said to me, I still remember, whenever I talk about why she didn't go to school so early, she told me how poor the learning conditions were at that time, how good her grades were, and my grandfather also gave her the money, to hand it over to her to let her sign up, despite this, she still gave up going to school, the reason is that the teacher always chooses her as the class leader or study committee, which is a big waste of her time, she said very carefully how tight her time is, at that time she fed chickens, ducks and geese at homeThere is also a dog, a few pigs, a sheep, and she also raises some silkworms. She also has to take care of her two older brothers' children, and also help the family with cooking, washing, and cleaning. In short, there is always not enough time. Don't talk about her, let's talk about what my dad said to me, "If you can't get into college and graduate like this in the future, then you must be inferior to me in society, I know how to be a skill, and I can't be hungry." What about you? You don't know anything, and it's hard to support yourself, so if you don't get into college, I'll marry you off a long time ago. "If I don't get married, I just don't get married. I said, "If you don't get married, what are you doing at home if you don't get married, can you still live with me and your mother for the rest of your life?" Later, when I was about to take the high school entrance examination, one of my teachers actually said such things to all the students in our class, and this made me uncomfortable for a while. He still has a deep memory, he said, "In the future, if you don't get into college and graduate from school, then your future will be worse than that of the current labor prisoners who come out of prison." After speaking, he paused and continued: "Some time ago, I saw an acquaintance, who had just been out of prison for a few years, and now has tens of thousands of dollars in his hand, and has opened a store, and his business is very prosperous. And what about you, if you can't get into college, what can you do? You can't do anything. "From the moment I heard this, I remembered it deeply, because my grades were not very good at that time, so I had a feeling that it was better to graduate than to have a bright future for prisoners who had just come out of prison. This made me feel like my life was over, and I thought to myself, no matter how hard I tried, it would be difficult to get into a decent high school, let alone university. I thought that the future was colorful, but suddenly I felt that the future was dark. This is one of the sources of my stress, until I stopped going to school, and this pressure has been there until now, that is, the fear of exams, the depression of going to school. There is also a kind of pressure that the boss gave me after work, that is, don't be late for work, otherwise the boss lady said, "Whoever is late for work again in the future will be deducted ten yuan." "Ah, ten yuan, how many things can you buy, just because you are late, you will be deducted ten yuan, this is a trick that the boss lady came up with after the late employees couldn't change the situation of the employees who were late. Alas, since then, I've rarely been late since then, almost always in a hurry. And the boss lady didn't really deduct money because she was late, because all the employees except me chose the shift that could work the night shift. Suddenly, after thinking so much about it all of a sudden, I saw that Dr. Lou was still waiting for me opposite, so I breathed a sigh of relief and walked over, stretched out my hand, he took a metal-like strip in his hand, touched my wrist, and the thing immediately buckled on my wrist, which is the same soft ruler I wore when I was a child, the kind of soft ruler that will be buckled on my wrist when I touch my wrist. "It's proof of your identity, you see. He suddenly touched the thing with a finger, and the thing immediately glowed, and a screen appeared. On the screen, my information is displayed in order: gender, name, age, ethnicity, height, weight, zodiac sign, and zodiac sign. Room No....... Wait. "This is the Fengyulou pass, it is something that shows your identity. Everyone in the Fengyu Building has this pass. With it, you can move freely in the Fengyu Building. You don't have to rely on me to guide you and you won't get lost. And when you're bored, you can let it chat with you. And this room is 407, you can live here in the future. After saying that, he paused, and then continued, "Let me tell you a secret again, and some of the things you encounter here in the future, including those you encounter today, are fake." But you have to learn to believe in yourself. With that, he walked out of the room and said, "Good night, have a good dream." "I looked at the orange lights outside and the orange lights inside, and thought it really felt like it was getting dark, but it should be just morning, it should be nine o'clock in the morning.

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