How did I become like this, I always felt like a certain TV presenter (I won't name it) was staring at me all the time (showering, going to the bathroom, changing clothes, writing...... This makes me feel particularly awkward, because I am a woman, he is a man, and occasionally I feel that Li Yifeng's figure is staring at me with a smile. I remember 2016, the year I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for the second time.

"Do you want to marry Li Yifeng?" Dr. Lou asked me suddenly. I was surprised, looked at him, and said, "I don't know." "I don't know why, every time someone asks me about getting married, I don't know anything. "I just know that I have feelings for him, and I also know that I am not normal. I said, "Do you think I can marry him?" I asked Dr. Lou, "Do you think he's going to be mentally ill?" Dr. Lou smiled and didn't speak. "Dr. Lou, are you married?" Dr. Lou didn't speak, and I didn't ask any more questions. But I was still curious about whether he was married or not. It's easy to get along with him anyway. Suddenly I had a crush on him. Oops, it feels like marrying him - that's not bad, right? It's supposed to be a long-term happiness, but I don't feel anything about him. Oops, but I feel like I'll be happy if I marry him like this.

As I walked, Dr. Lou suddenly said, "You're not too young, it's time to get married, right?" I sighed, thinking that I also want to get married, if only I could marry you like this. Thinking to myself, I suddenly unconsciously put my hand close to Dr. Lou's hand, and I really felt that I was holding Dr. Lou's hand, which felt so happy...... Dr. Lou also walked casually, I kept holding his hand, walking and walking, suddenly I unconsciously straddled his arm, this felt very happy, he didn't speak, I just felt this happiness quietly. "I'm Lou Yufeng, do you think I'm Li Yifeng?" Doctor Lou said suddenly, and I knew that I thought, "I know you're Lou Yufeng." I said. "Do you like me?" asked Dr. Lou. "I don't know. I kept my head down. "Do you think I can still get married?" I asked Dr. Lou. "Is there anyone like me who wants it?" I asked again, without waiting for him to answer. "Do you think Li Yifeng likes me like this?" I continued. I said everything I wanted to say, and Dr. Lou said he didn't need to care about his feelings. "Are you nervous again?" asked Dr. Lou. "I don't know," I said, "do you think Li Yifeng likes me like this?" "I like you like this." Dr. Lou replied quickly. "Thank you. I said. I know you're encouraging me. "Thank you for giving me confidence. I said. "I really like you. Dr. Lou continued. "If someone like you can get married, someone will definitely want you. Dr. Lou said. "Hmm," I nodded. "In 2016, I thought I was married to Li Yifeng, so I was very happy. ended up in a psychiatric hospital. I said.

"Do you say that people like me are not suitable for marriage, every time I go on a blind date, I am very upset. I hate discussing impromptu topics with a strange boy, and I like the feeling of unknowingly going to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get a marriage certificate. I said, "It's going to make the whole person feel light." "You'd better be normal first. Dr. Lou said. I was embarrassed to laugh. "As long as you are normal, you will definitely marry whoever you want to marry. Dr. Lou continued. I realized he had a point. So he let go of the hand that was holding his arm. It would be nice if you were Li Yifeng, I thought. "There are still a lot of people watching you, don't you feel particularly awkward?" Dr. Lou asked.

I've always been like this, and it's been going on for over a year. Thought. "Why don't we go get a marriage license?" Dr. Lou said lightly, looking at me. "Yes, I replied. "I was suddenly very happy. Dr. Lou held his trouser pockets in both hands and motioned for me to take his arm. Although I still felt that a certain program host was staring at me, I ignored it and happily took his arm and went with him to get the marriage certificate.

Before I knew it, I had reached the embankment with weeping willows, and I felt very happy. I didn't ask Dr. Lou who was in his family, nor did I ask him about his income. I'm just enjoying the feeling of getting married. I think getting married is so simple, I unknowingly went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get a marriage certificate, and I lived my life. Thinking that it will be two people in the future, I feel very happy. As for Li Yifeng, I don't think about him anymore, because I don't think I will meet him in real life in my life. I was too anxious about getting married, but I met him anyway and thought it was time, so I got married. This feeling of two people actually getting a marriage certificate is better than all imaginations about marriage. It's better than my unrequited love for Li Yifeng alone. I think that no matter how good Li Yifeng is, he can't give me a sense of ease and happiness when I really go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get a certificate. So he's still suitable for someone other than me.

Thinking of this, the burden in my heart was put down.

There is no vigorous love between the two of us, only such a relaxed feeling.

I walked down by his arm, and I didn't ask him where he was married, but it felt very sweet. His expression was still as calm as water, and his relaxed appearance made me feel that everything was as fresh and moist as the weather after the rain. With a good mood on my chest, I walked to the Civil Affairs Bureau, and then we went in. There was no one else in the Civil Affairs Bureau, only a staff member who was leisurely knocking melon seeds, and when he saw us coming, he greeted us casually and said, "Sit down." Then he walked briskly to the stool to my left and sat down, and I sat on the stool to his right. The corners of his mouth turned up, and he smiled. I smiled lightly, too. "Have you figured it out?" asked the staff. "I've thought about it. I replied. I was very happy. "Then you can register," said the staff member to give each of us a form. We filled it out like that, and then the staff stamped it. Then the two of us were invited to a room to take pictures, and then we got the red book. It turns out that getting married is so simple, and you don't need an ID card and household registration book. Thought. I've been married, and I'm feeling better than half of my illness. I thought I was going to live happily ever after. Marriage has nothing to do with me anymore, and I don't have to go on a blind date anymore.

"Hello, Dr. Lou, we will be husband and wife from now on. "I said to him when I walked to the door of the Civil Affairs Bureau. I thought, this is your will, I didn't force you anyway. You are willing to marry me.

Then he put one arm around me and said, "Well, I love you." “