"What are you sorry for me? Didn't you do it all for my good? ”

"I'm sorry for my self-righteousness, I'm sorry for my nosy, I'm sorry for lying to you."

"Tsk." Ji Chen couldn't help laughing, she was like a veteran who had been in love for a long time, one hand pressed Liu Ge's hand on the grass, "I really want to kiss you!" ”

Liu Ge was shocked and subconsciously shrank behind him.

"Don't be so nervous! I'm just talking. Ji Chen bit his lip for fear that he would get too carried away with his laughter. I am very grateful to you, thank you for throwing yourself into the net, thank you for your embrace, thank you for sending charcoal in the snow. ”

Liu Ge looked at Ji Chen with the corners of his mouth tugging at him and didn't know what to say, he was a little surprised by Ji Chen's current attitude. If it were him, and someone deliberately approached him to explore the secrets of his heart, he would feel deceived, violated, and angry. But Ji Chen didn't, she even felt happy for his behavior.

"You, why aren't you angry? Even if you like me, you'll be! My purpose in approaching you is not pure, I don't like you, I sympathize with you because you are sick, this series of things, if it were me, I would be very angry. ”

Ji Chen raised his eyebrows and shrugged.

"You said it too, replace it with you." She stretched out her hands and stretched out a wide slouch, then lay down on the grass. The dusk is not good, there is a feeling of melancholy, I always feel like it will rain tonight, and the sun is not hot.

Liuge looked at the girl lying on the grass like this, and a wonderful feeling sprouted for her in his heart. This girl is bold and fiery, but sometimes fragile and pitiful, obviously big and grinning, but can notice a lot of details, and her logical thinking ability is also very strong.

Ji Chen patted the lawn and motioned for Liu Ge to lie down as well, Liu Ge waved his hand and just sat and looked at Ji Chen.

Ji Chen pursed his mouth, "I want to hear stories, but I don't want to coax people, how can this work." ”

Hearing this, Liuge lay down helplessly.

"Say okay, look at the sky, don't look at me."

"Well, that's it."

A long silence ensued. Ji Chen seemed to be thinking, thinking about how much he should say to Liu Ge in order to win this person's sympathy without making him disbelieve him.

"Whew......" Ji Chen exhaled a long breath and exhaled all the turbid thoughts in his heart from his body.

"Let's talk about how I got sick." Ji Chen looked at the clouds in the sky, a big mass, glowing orange-red in the afterglow of the sun, like the marshmallow he had given to Liuge before. "I don't know how I got sick, but all of a sudden I started having nightmares and I often woke up crying in my dreams. During that time, I was very vague, I was very hazy about everything, about what was before, and I didn't even feel like I was alive. My mom said I had a fever for several days. Ji Chen breathed a sigh of relief again, as if he had the courage to say it again, "I don't know what to say." I saw a lot of things that I never remembered. Including dreaming too. By the time I got better, I felt a lot more distant from my mother and father. When I look at them, I feel like I'm looking at a stranger I know very well, and I don't know what to do about how good they are for me. Obviously, they are my closest people, but I always feel that there is something between me and them, which makes me subconsciously reject them. Later, I went to see Su Pei and diagnosed me with severe depression. I was very strange, how healthy I am, how can I have depression, it must be a misdiagnosis.

When I went back, I slowly realized that I couldn't control my emotions at all, and sometimes I could cry and faint just by looking at the dishes and chopsticks I used. After receiving a month of treatment, it slowly improved. ”

Ji Chen licked his back molars with his tongue, took a deep breath, and let himself continue to talk, dissecting the worst side of himself and putting it in front of Liu Ge.

"My previous personality wasn't like this, I know. But I don't know how I got into the person I am now. Xiao Lan said that I was not as arrogant and heartless as I am now, I used to be very restrained and afraid to talk to others. I was very unconscious during my illness. When I'm awake is when I see you. ”

"." Liu Ge said lightly, feeling that Ji Chen was really a little hopeless, and said that he didn't forget to tease him.

"Really, no kidding." Ji Chen chuckled, "You know what happened later." What I'm going to say next is what Su Pei doesn't know, and what you don't know. ”

Lyug gently put his hand on the back of her hand, trying to give her own strength.

If he were him, he really wouldn't be willing to put himself in front of others in front of him in public, even if he loved him, he couldn't do it. He and Su Pei have been going around in circles for so many years, trying hard to control themselves, and making themselves no different from "ordinary people", just because they are afraid that she will notice that she is different, he is sick, and he is not a normal person.

Although Su Pei kept saying that he was sick, he never admitted it, and tried his best to wrap himself well, not wanting to destroy this harmonious home.

"I still have a consciousness in my body."

Lyug bit his lip in shock, trying not to make a sound. Although Su Pei had also guessed this possibility before, the shock after the real confirmation was not at all something that could be experienced when guessing.

"The first time I became aware of her existence was after the start of school, when they came to me for trouble. I didn't know her at all, but they knew me, and they treated me badly, as if I was their errand. But I don't have that awareness at all. ”

"You ......"

"I'm not a sub-personality." Ji Chen turned her face to look at him, her eyes were not bright, and she even hid fear, "I'm not a personality born out of fear that it will be something else, I'm not." ”

Ji Chenming told Liu Ge clearly, but Liu Ge was still a little suspicious that all the sub-personalities would have the idea of replacing the main personality. Ji Chen's personality has changed so much before and after, when she said the matter of dual personality, he had to think of the possibility that there was a sub-personality to replace the main personality.

"I know what you'll think, but I have memories of my eighteen years, and I remember everything except memories of Liu Pianran. I suspect that she deleted my memory, but of course there is a more authoritative term in medicine to explain this condition, what selective amnesia. ”

"You may just be escaping from a reality on your own, not necessarily ......"

"I know." Ji Chen interrupted Liu Ge's words, she knew what Liu Ge was going to say, this might just be her own imagination, she also hoped it was her own imagination! "She deleted the contact between me and Liu Pianran, pretending that I had never had this person in my memory. The reason why I was able to confirm her existence was when I cried and fainted, and you were there, and she spoke to me for the first time, and she warned me to stay away from Liu Pianran. I was scared, but nothing happened to her except in my body, except for some inexplicable memories. I thought, maybe that's it, she didn't snatch my body from me, she didn't interfere in my life, she probably did it to make my life better. When Ji Chen said this, she couldn't suppress her tears, Fang Cai's pretense of ease all collapsed, fear was real, she clenched Liu Ge's hand, and her fingers pinched his skin tightly.

"But just now, I was very afraid."

"Don't talk about it." Liu Ge turned over and hugged her, although he couldn't understand Ji Chen's feelings at this time, but for so many years, he had always felt that he was different from others, his psychology was abnormal, and he worked hard to live the same feeling as others, especially tired, not to mention, a big event like Ji Chen, a big event that endangered his life.

"I just heard that girl and got a little angry, and then she used my body, and I could only watch my body move, and I couldn't do anything on my own. All my previous self-deception was fake, she would rob me of my body, her parents, and my life. I feel like she's slowly getting stronger now, and there's no way I can restrain her. Actually, I knew I was going to die from the beginning, so I kept being negative about the treatment. That's right, I never thought about suicide, because I subconsciously knew that this consciousness of mine would slowly die in my body, and that another consciousness would replace me, and I was still alive, but it was another me. ”

Liu Ge felt creepy, his body holding Ji Chen stiffened, he was suddenly very afraid of Ji Chen, I don't know why he was afraid of her. Obviously, monsters and monsters can comfort each other and warm each other when they are together, but he is just a little afraid of Ji Chen. It seems that compared with her, she is not normal, she is just a little crowdphobia.

Ji Chen sniffed hard, she pushed Liu Ge away and wiped away all her tears, "I'm done with what I should say, you can go back and tell Su Pei, or do anything." You can stay away from me in the future, I don't care. ”

Liu Ge looked at Ji Chen, his mind was very blank, he didn't know how to comfort her, he didn't know what to say to fill the embarrassment at this time, he looked at Ji Chen's face, her face was a little pale, as if it was soaked white with tears.

Lyug thought he should do something about it now, not just sit still.

Ji Chen wiped the tears from his face, got up from the ground, and prepared to go back.

"Ji Chen." Liu Ge called her, his voice was very soft, and it was blown away by the wind of the setting sun, but Ji Chen still heard it, and she looked at Liu Ge with her own longing, eager for Liu Ge to accept her like this, but she also knew how unreal her desire was.

Lyug's hands were a little cold, and they still smelled of plastic grass when they touched her cheeks, but Lyug's lips were warm, just like the warmth he wanted to bring her, warmer than the sun light years away.