At midnight, when the meridians were about to meet, I shouted a pause, because I was about to get drunk, and let me give my heart to the passing wind, and let it bring to the woman I once loved, and it did not refuse, although I have not received the news so far----- Zhang Mian "The Sound of the Wind"

The sunset in July is burning desperately, like a scorching love.

My name is Zhang Mian, I am 36 years old this year, and I have been a grassroots police officer for seven years.

Zhang Mian sat in front of the window, watching the sunset in the sky drenching the sky little by little, from crimson to light, stretching in all directions, the wind was gentle at this time like a woman who had lost her temper, blowing on his face, as if to give him comfort, beautiful things were flat in front of Zhang Mian, and ordinary things were numb in front of Zhang Mian.

In the past two years, Zhang Mian has been numb to live, just like the half-dead Sijigui on his balcony, the day before yesterday when he was watering Sijigui, he accidentally mentioned it, and as a result, Sijigui was uprooted, and it has been dead for many days.

Zhang Mian has been married for more than three years and has no children, in a sense, he is a joke in front of others, a very cold joke, how cold is it, one of his enemies was happy to have acute asthma after learning about it, and it cost more than 10,000 yuan in three days, and it is said that he finally went to Beijing to see it for half a year and was not optimistic, and now he is collecting materials and preparing to send him.

Zhang Mian's wife Sun Li is a devout Christian, two years ago after the operation began to study the Bible, during the day to participate in various meetings, lectures, seven days a week without rest, now busy two knee meniscus problems, at night she on the joints of the legs are covered with cooked ginger slices, like full of dragon scales, because the dosage is not easy to grasp, she can't stick on the eyes, God says thrift is a virtue, so her eyes are often spicy like rabbit eyes, if there is really a past life, she is an out-and-out rabbit, God forbid, I shouldn't have scolded the rabbit.

Once Sun Li asked Zhang Mu why he didn't believe in God.

"Can faith in God allow us to have children?" Zhang Mian asked.

"People like you are going to hell."

In fact, she doesn't know that people are not afraid of death after they die, and going to hell is like playing a game...... After clearing the customs, the man drove a sports car and took the beautiful woman to watch the sunset.

Zhang Mian liked to play games when he was a child, he was not afraid of going to hell, going to hell is just a game, this game can still loop indefinitely, and if you can't start over after playing, it's really amazing. Zhang Mian didn't tell Sun Li about this, she kept scaring Zhang Mian with going to hell, she was very scared after she finished speaking, and she turned her face and went to the toilet, the process of going to the toilet is similar to going to heaven, that is, enjoyable. Hell awaits me, heaven I'll come first!

In Zhang Xuan's subconscious, he died thirty years ago, and his current life is not much better than hell.

Zhang Mian remembers that he was six years old, and one summer evening of that year, the sunset was held high by two telephone poles in the village, like a huge kite that had been flown up, flying in the wind.

At this time, a tractor was running on the dirt road in the village, which was not too wide, and the driver was a lean old man, wearing a straw hat, and his face was black and uncontoured, without a trace of expression.

The loud sound of the tractor's "sudden" can shake out people's overnight meals. Zhang Mian was shocked and spit out three mouthfuls of water in a row, it was good to eat enough in those days, there was no rice to vomit, and he was reluctant to vomit when he had food, so he had to vomit water. At the moment when he spit out three mouthfuls of water, in Zhang Xuan's eyes, the tractor was no longer a tractor, but an angel with huge white wings, sailing towards the red sunset in the sky, as if there was infinite magic, and catching up with it was equivalent to catching up with happiness.

Run, run, run, and you're about to catch up with happiness.

Running, running, running, parallel to happiness.

Run, run, run, and embrace happiness.

Zhang Mian was in a coma for three days, and the first thing he did when he woke up was not to ask him where he was, but to ask his parents if he had caught up with the tractor.

Because his name is Zhang Xuan, he is silent.

Zhang Mian has always believed that he died thirty years ago, and Zhang Mian has always believed in this idea, just as his wife believed in the existence of God.

In the years that followed, Zhang Mian tried to decipher what he had experienced that day, and he still maintains a certain enthusiasm for reading books on philosophy and reasoning, and Zhang Mian has not yet found a convincing conclusion.

Zhang Mian is the youngest in the family, above are two sisters, after opening the second child, the eldest sister to be strong gave birth to a nephew to him last year, Zhang Mian's father said that Zhang Mian's nephew and Zhang Mian when he was a child is basically exactly the same, it is normal for a nephew to look like an uncle, but when Zhang Mian picked up his nephew in the delivery room, he had a very strange feeling, the baby in his arms is himself, he picked up his childhood self, and his own self in his arms looked curiously at his future self with his spotless eyes.

In this way, the generations are messed up, Zhang Mian handed over his nephew to his sister without hesitation after a trance, not as good-looking as I was when I was a child, Zhang Mian told a lie seriously.

Zhang Mian's parents are almost 70 years old and have no children. Every day is a kind of pain and suffering for Zhang Mian and his parents, Zhang Mian wants to go back to his hometown to see his aging parents on the day of rest every week, but every time he goes back to see his parents' expressions and neighbors' excessive enthusiasm for whether he has children, he is afraid, Zhang Mian knows that his parents want him to divorce quickly, they are simple farmers, and they will not go to Zhang Mian's house in the city to find Sun Li to make trouble, the more this kindness and love for his son, the more ashamed Zhang Mian is. Every time he came back from his hometown, he wanted to say to Sun Li that we should divorce quickly, but Zhang Mian inherited the kindness of his parents, and every time the words came to his mouth, he swallowed it raw, he wanted Sun Li to say divorce first, it has been two years since Sun Li found out about this disease, he has been waiting for her for two years, Sun Li still has not spoken, she is the person chosen by God in the world, and the mission is to let more people blossom and become God's children, so Sun Li is very busy, she is so busy that she forgets that she needs a divorce, forgets the age of her in-laws, and forgets that the years still need to be replaced.

In this case, Zhang Mian lives numbly every day, time is very cruel to unfortunate people, it makes them grow old quickly, and the old age is heart-wrenching.

Late at night last winter, Zhang Mian sent out a thief policeman, and the snow was flying in the middle of the night, and the road was already covered with deep snow. After arriving at the scene, a man in his fifties held Zhang Mian's hand and said very affectionately: "Big brother, you still came in person this big night, I really don't want to go, but the hen I lost laid eggs in the spring, I'm sorry." ”

Several colleagues who shouted "big brother" fell into the snow with a "boom" and rolled in the snow while laughing, all laughing out of the sound of pigs, and then several nearby pig farmers turned on the lights.

Zhang Mian was instantly messy in place, and under the illumination of the car lights, the wind swept the snowflakes into his neck like an appointment, and he couldn't feel the cold brought by the snow turning into water.

He is not afraid that he will not be able to look old, in fact, he is afraid that his parents will feel sorry for him when they see him, and the children whose parents always want to go home are still runaway teenagers.

Life needs to be strong and forbearing, Zhang Mian told himself in that snowflake-ravaged cold night that his parents must be strong, he is now their backer, Zhang Mian can keep his mouth shut, but he can't despair.

Zhang Mian knew early on that love is downward, and because of this, the normal reproduction of human beings for thousands of years has been guaranteed.

As the saying goes: white-haired people send black-haired people, and there are not many days left, black-haired people send white-haired people, and life is just right.

Without children, there is no meaning of life for Zhang Mian at present, and in front of the entire human race, he is a complete castration, because now he has lost the most basic link of being a human being: reproduction.

Every day he feels that life has only two colors, white and black. When Zhang Mian checked whether he had color blindness during this year's physical examination, he found the kitten hidden in the lattice without difficulty, the kitten looked at him expressionlessly, he also looked at the cat with an expressionless face, the doctor asked what he saw, Zhang Mian said it might be a dog, the doctor said you can go out, and wrote down the vision 5.1 in the notebook.

After Sima Qian was castrated, he wrote a literary masterpiece "Historical Records", in which he wrote a lot of vivid people and described many colorful scenes, and finally he became a historian and writer for centuries.

Sima Qian is the master of the castration world.

Zhang Mian tried to convince himself to regard Sima Qian as his lifelong idol, to be familiar with the "Historical Records", and to regard Sima Qian's spirit as a lifelong belief, even if he could not surpass him, he would become a leader in the castration world in the 21st century.

But he really couldn't make the final decision, he knew that he could become a traitor to the castration world at any time, because he could find another woman and have children after the divorce.

In this way, wouldn't he become the Judas who betrayed God in Sun Li's mouth, wouldn't this be Sun Li's way.

Zhang Mian can't make excuses for Sima Qian, who has been liked for many years, after all, everyone is a cultured person. Zhang Mian has been angry since he went to work, and his emotional intelligence is not high, and he doesn't know how to bow down when he sees the leader, and he can't remember when the leader needs to change the gas tank. Now the young men who work with Zhang Mian have been promoted to deputy director, and they are more than ten years younger than Zhang Mian, but recently this young man has been complaining of back pain.

Zhang Mian's status has actually improved, from the little Zhang in the mouth of his colleagues to the old Zhang, when he stayed up late to handle the case, he took the initiative to let him rest early.

Zhang Mian really doesn't care about his position and other people's opinions, a person who thinks he died thirty years ago, and now he only cares about his relatives and whether he will have children.

Others said he was pretending not to care, pretending to be quite similar. Their most powerful evidence is that when the personnel adjustment was just announced, Zhang Mian's face was pale, and they used their mobile phones to take photos of him for half an hour, once Zhang Mian didn't admit it, they immediately sent it to the circle of friends, let people forward it, accumulate 38 likes, and each person sent a lobster coupon for eating a pound and getting a pound away, and the business of relatives should be taken care of.

After Zhang Mian learned about this, his life was not only black and white, but also cyan.