On the first day of the new year, I woke up so late.

When Ah Sui saw my red and swollen eyes and haggard face, he knew that I hadn't slept all night.

She stood beside the bed, holding a copper basin and a hand towel in her hand, but asked me hesitantly:

"Why don't you get up? Although the snow has stopped, it is still very cold. ”

I shook my head slightly, forced a smile and said:

"It is said that the plan of the year lies in the spring, how can there be a reason to lie in bed on the first day of the new year?"

Seeing that I insisted, Ah Sui didn't say anything more, so he had to put down the basin and come to dress and clean up for me.

I only felt sore and weak all over, as if I had been exhausted all night, and the muscles and bones in my body seemed to be about to break.

I didn't move, like a puppet doll, obediently letting Ah Sui put on layers of thick clothes for me. When she finished dressing, I found myself wrapped up like a bloated big Fu.

Ah Sui helped me slowly walk to the dressing table and sit down.

It's been a long time since I've dressed up, and this dressing table has long since become useless. It's just that under the careful cleaning of the crow slave, this dressing table is still spotless, and the bronze mirror is still polished.

I looked at myself in the bronze mirror.

It was a strange woman who was described as haggard.

There were a few strands of long gray hair mixed with the black silk on the head, and they had long since lost their richness and softness, like dead grass lacking nutrients on the grassland in late autumn, dull and withered. The long eyebrows and bright eyes that I used to be proud of have long since faded their luster, like a gorgeous brocade that has gone through the years, although I can still vaguely see the appearance of the year, but it has faded and become brittle, and it seems that it will be broken at the slightest touch.

I'm no longer indifferent to how I describe myself in the mirror.

Ah Sui held a wooden comb in his hand, carefully combed my hair one by one, and said in his mouth:

"The princess should also be a little groomed today, and wear a brighter color dress to be auspicious. Today is the first day of the Lunar New Year, and it is the beginning of spring, and it is still the princess's birthday! ”

I was stunned for a moment, and then I said suddenly:

"Oh, you remember, I forgot."

Yes, the first day of the Lunar New Year is my birthday.

When I was a child, I always asked my dad strangely: Why do I have a birthday every Chinese New Year?

Daddy looked at me and smiled, bent down, pinched my face and said:

"Because my little daughter is a blessed one, she happened to be born on the first day of the new year."

A long time ago, I always thought I was blessed.

And now, I look at the woman in the mirror, and there is only endless ridicule in my heart.

Today, I will be thirty years old.

Thirty years old should be the most beautiful and moist age in a woman's life. has faded away the youthfulness and impetuousness of youth, but it has not been carved by the years. It's like a peony flower, finally fully blooming, revealing its beauty. And I was devastated by the storm, and the branches and leaves were scattered early, and the flowers fell and the fragrance was gone.

I closed my eyes tiredly and shook my head gently at Ah Sui:

"No need, I'm a little tired, just roll up my hair."

Ah Sui comforted me while arranging my hair:

"It's the beginning of spring. The beginning of spring is not far from spring. The weather will get warmer and warmer, and the princess's illness will naturally become lighter and milder. ”

I nodded and said:

"yes, spring is coming."

But my illness did not get better.

After the New Year, it is the Shangyuan Festival, then the second spring dragon festival in February, and the third Shangsi festival in March. The weather is getting warmer, but my body is getting heavier.

I've been feeling tired all the time these days.

I just got up from bed, but I was drowsy and wanted to sleep, and sometimes I could fall asleep just by talking to Ah Sui and the crow slave.

My memory is getting worse and worse, and I can forget anything if I drop it. Sometimes I'm talking and suddenly I forget what I'm going to say next.

I weakened at a speed that was visible to the naked eye, and at first I could let Ah Sui walk around the yard with my support, but gradually I couldn't even get out of bed.

I still pour three bowls of Taiyi Sun's medicine a day, but it seems to have no effect at all.

I spend less and less time awake every day, and I spend more and more time in a coma, and I really don't know if one day I will fall asleep like this and never wake up again.

It's not that I'm afraid of death.

I'm just afraid that after I die, Ah Sui and the Raven Slave will be dragged down by me.

"Your life is tied to your lone hand. If you want to die, I won't let you die. You give me a good life, if you want to die, I will let Ah Sui and the crow slave bury you together! ”

To this day, I still remember his cold tone, like an ice blade with a chill. I know that he did what he said he would do, and that he had already proven it to me.

I have already buried myself in this cold prison, and I can't let Ah Sui and the Raven Slave bury the rest of their lives here.

It was a sunny day, and the afternoon sun shone through the yellow-white window paper on my bed. I struggled to sit up from the bed, but Ah Sui hurriedly came to help me and said:

"Princess, what do you want? How did you sit up? ”

I gasped for breath twice and said with a shaking of my lips:

"Ink, paper, pen."

Ah Sui was stunned and said:

"You want to write?"

I nodded slightly.

Ah Sui hurriedly said:

"You're all like this, and you're writing something that doesn't matter here! When you're ready, how much can't you write? ”

I shook my head stubbornly and gasped:

"Go!"

Ah Sui looked at my stubborn expression, and had to prepare paper and pen with red eyes.

The slender barrel of the pen is in my hand, but it seems to have a thousand weights, and I can't put the pen down for a long time. My hands shook violently, and the thick black ink dripped onto the crisp yellow paper, spreading little by little, like a tear.

I sighed deeply.

I thought that in this life until I died, I would never leave him a word again. However, for the sake of Asui and the Raven slaves, I must go against my will.

Two thin pieces of paper, sparse lines of words, I spent three days on and off. There was nothing to say between me and him, but now it was not easy for me to search for dry intestines.

This letter has exhausted the last bit of my mental energy, and I know that my days are numbered.

For several days I was often in a coma, and in my brief waking moments I always saw Ah Sui and Raven Nu kneeling in front of my bed, looking at me with tears in their eyes.

I stretched out my withered hands to wipe the tears from their faces, but in vain I fell halfway.

"Don't cry."

I said softly. But they cried even harder.

I tried to curl the corners of my mouth, trying to squeeze out a smile:

"Don't cry for me, I'm fine. I...... I'm going back. ”

"Princess!"

Ah Sui cried bitterly and threw himself to my side. Her face was buried in my neck, and her shoulders were shaking. I wanted to pat her on the back and soothe her, just like she had done for me before, but I didn't even have the strength to do that.

I had to whisper in her ear:

"Sui, I'm very happy. I'm finally going to ...... Liberated, you should ...... Be glad for me. When I'm gone, you get out of here, and you're fine...... Alive. ”

Ah Sui looked at me with a face full of tears, sobbing and speechless.

I gently squeezed her hand and whispered:

"Do you remember what I told you?"

Ah Sui nodded heavily.

I put it in her ear and said:

"Find him, and you will live well together, and you will ...... Only...... Let's be an ordinary and happy Shengdou small people. Well? ”

Ah Sui couldn't breathe when I cried, but I was already tired of talking. I fell on the pillow, closed my eyes, and whispered:

"I really miss Lingyang!"

Human life is strange, sometimes so fragile, sometimes so tenacious. My life is obviously like a ray of spider silk in the wind and rain, and it looks like it is about to pass away with the wind, but I just hang this breath, and I have to boil until the oil runs out and the lamp runs dry.

After a few coma, I was awake again. Ah Sui and Crow Nu were overjoyed, and seemed to see a glimmer of hope again. I knew in my heart that I was just returning to the past.

On this day, I was still wandering half-conscious, but I heard the sound of Ah Sui arguing with people at the door. Ah Sui's tone was cold and tough:

"Mrs. Zuo, the princess doesn't want to see you, let's go!"

The visitor let out a sneer:

"You're just a subordinate, can you stop me?"

I didn't want Ah Sui to cause any more trouble for me, so I gestured slightly to the crow slave who was guarding the bedside with my eyes. Raven nodded and walked out.

A moment later, a man walked in.

She is indeed beautiful. The jet-black hair is pulled up high, the hairpin is gold-ornamented, and a blooming red peony hairpin is on the side of the bun, which makes it even more rich. The colorful embroidery is brilliant, the skin is plump, and the eyebrows and eyes are full of style. Mrs. Zuo, who favored the harem, originally deserved this style. Looking at her beauty today, who would have thought that she was a beautiful woman who was known for her delicate and elegant back then?

The jeweled Mrs. Zuo stood in my dormitory, frowning slightly, as if the coldness of this place had insulted her dignity. She looked at me, with a slight smile on her lips, and said:

"Sister, I'll send you one."

I really didn't want to say anything more to her, so I whispered:

"I've run out of oil, you can rest assured."

She smiled and said:

"I'm really relieved."

I sighed and said:

"Actually, why do you bother? I don't have many days left, so you really shouldn't bother Dr. Sun anymore. ”

A look of surprise flashed in her eyes, but she was calm in an instant, and said:

"I can't wait."

She confessed so frankly that I smiled faintly and said:

"It's good, it's good. You are really ruthless, and you are indeed the woman who should be by his side. ”

A fierce murderous aura flashed over her delicate face in an instant, and resentment, viciousness, and anger intertwined in her eyes, making her beautiful face instantly terrifying. She stepped in front of me and said coldly:

"No, if you talk about viciousness, who can compare to you, sister? He killed his father and brother, his son, and his husband. I am afraid that I will not be able to find a second person like my sister in the world. ”

My heart pounded sharply, but it suddenly weakened. I only felt that my eyes were heavy and wanted to close, and I said dreamily:

"What do you mean...... All right. Now, we're ...... Flattened ......"

I felt as if I were in the clouds, and I felt like I had fallen into a soft dream. The pain in my sick body disappeared strangely, and my body was extremely free.

There seemed to be the sound of Ah Sui and the crow slave calling urgently.

I tried my best to open my eyes to see it, to tell them that I was cured and that it didn't hurt anymore.

In a trance, a dark figure rushed to my bed, and the black robe legs flashed bright yellow. The man's arms were around me tightly, and I couldn't hold them anymore and closed my eyes.

Everything from the past flashed in my consciousness and then dissipated. In the final moments, I was finally liberated.