Since the beginning of winter, my body has been getting worse day by day.

This year's winter was particularly cold, with several snowfalls in a row, and the cold weather triggered my old ailments that had accumulated in my body, coughing, wheezing, and difficulty walking, and I was almost stuck on the bed all winter.

Ah Sui went to the hospital to find the doctor several times, and each time he came back with red eyes.

I know everything in my heart.

After suffering for many years in Vanity Fair in this deep palace, I have long been accustomed to seeing people's hearts.

In this gorgeous deep palace, it seems to have the most amazing wealth and power in the world, but in fact, it has the most sinister human heart and the coolest human nature in the world.

Stepping on white with red is just the most common thing in this royal inner courtyard. Moreover, I am not only a woman who has been rejected by the king and lives in seclusion, but also a sinner woman who intends to rebel. In the eyes of people like me, it is better to fend for themselves, so where is it worth their effort to diagnose and treat?

It's not that Ah Sui doesn't understand, she just can't bear to see me getting more and more aggrieved, holding on to a glimmer of hope. How could I bear to shatter even the slightest hope for her?

Finally, one day, when Ah Sui's follower came back from the hospital, his face was a little happy.

She still came back alone, but with a few more bags of medicinal herbs in her hand.

"A new doctor in the Tai Hospital, seeing that I have run away so many times, the boss can't bear it. He said that although he was busy with affairs and could not be diagnosed in person, he could listen to the patient's symptoms and consider a prescription. I told him in detail about the princess's illness, and Dr. Sun prescribed these medicines, saying that although they could not be cured, at least they could barely be kept from getting worse. ”

Ah Suixi said diligently, with gratitude in and out of his words.

I also smiled and said:

"This Imperial Doctor Sun doesn't seem to have a bad heart."

Ah Sui nodded heavily, and hurriedly boiled medicine for me.

Since then, there has been a strong smell of herbs in Nagato Palace every day. Bowls of bitter and sour medicinal juice, I drank like water.

I didn't expect this medicine to cure my illness, I knew that my illness really couldn't be cured, I just didn't want Ah Sui and the Raven Nu to worry about me anymore.

I know that Ah Sui and the Raven Slave have cried several times behind my back, and they are just afraid that I will see them.

One night, I was awakened by the sound of my own cough in my dream, and heard Ah Sui and the Raven Nu whimpering and crying on the couch outside the dormitory. In the silence of the night, the suppressed cries of the two of them sounded more and more mournful, and I only heard a sadness in my heart.

It's just that when Ah Sui came over to check on me, I closed my eyes again and pretended to be still asleep.

I really don't want them to grieve for me, they have shed too many tears because of me over the years.

On Chinese New Year's Eve, it snowed heavily. The fluttering snowflakes are like a thick layer of white felt covering the entire courtyard of Nagato Palace.

I leaned back on my half-worn silver-red flower-sprinkled pillow and listened to the rustling of snowflakes on the snow outside the window.

I love snow the most.

For a girl growing up in the South, seeing one or two heavy snowfalls in a year is a great thing. In the past, when it snowed, I would sneak out into the garden with Ah Sui and the crow slave to play. Building snowmen, having snowball fights, setting up a sieve in the snow and scattering grains to catch sparrows, I tried all the games that could be played in the snow.

Every time I wet my clothes, shoes and socks and am bumped into by an adult, I will inevitably be taught a lesson by my mother, saying that a girl is too crazy and has no stable appearance, and wants me to learn from my sister.

I bowed my head and listened to the training, but I was still worried in my heart:

I don't know if the bamboo sieve that caught sparrows in the snow has fallen? That's what I asked for from Aunt Li in the kitchen.

At that time, I always felt that there were endless interesting things to do, I was always worried that the snow would melt too quickly, and I always wanted to go to a place where it snowed all the time in winter.

Later, I finally came here.

Every winter, it snows heavily in Mori Kyoto.

The snow in Shengjing is different from the snow in my hometown, not one by one, but dry, powdery, like fine salt powder, which can be swept up when it falls on the ground, but it will not melt and wet immediately.

I've long since lost the love I had for snow as a teenager.

This white snow only made the whole Nagato Palace more gloomy and made me feel colder.

In order to keep me warm, Ah Sui and the crow slave almost thought of all the ways they could.

I was wearing the best and thickest clothes in the entire Nagato Palace, holding the thickest quilt, and I had a soup woman on my feet, but my hands and feet were still cold.

Ah Sui walked in with a white porcelain bowl, and my consciousness turned back from my fugue.

A small white porcelain bowl filled with a hazel broth that was bubbling with a white mist.

"The crow slave boiled you a bowl of ginger soup, drink it to get rid of the cold."

Ah Sui bent down, put the ginger soup on the small table next to the bed, and came over to help me up. On her hand to pull the quilt for me, there were two red and bright cracked cuts, like a baby's slightly open mouth.

I reached out from under the covers, gently placed my hands on her frostbitten hands, and hung my head for a long time without making a sound. She tried to pull her hand, but I held it tighter, and I looked up at her and asked in a low voice:

"Does it hurt badly?"

Ah Sui shook his head and smiled faintly:

"It doesn't hurt, princess."

She didn't lie very well, but I still smiled cooperatively:

"Ah Sui, your hands are not the same as before."

Ah Sui looked at me and lowered his gaze, and said softly:

"The princess's hands are no longer the same as they used to be."

I looked at the hands that covered Ah Sui's hands, skinny, a little blue and purple from the cold, and the light blue meridians in the thin skin were protruding, like winding earthworms, which looked a little terrifying. I laughed to myself, "Where is this like my hand?" The hands were once slender and white, with a slight swirl, and even when riding a horse, they had to wear thin gloves.

The hall was silent for a while, and Ah Sui and I silently held each other's hands and did not speak again. The Raven Slave walked in quietly, and when she saw us like this, her eyes widened in surprise, and her mouth was slightly open but she couldn't make a sound.

Ah Sui sat up from the edge of the bed and brought the ginger soup:

"Drink, or the crow slave will be angry."

The warm ginger soup has a hint of sweetness and a spicy taste that makes my eyes a little sour. The Raven Slave watched me finish the drink before taking the bowl.

Ah Sui asked with a smile on his lips:

"It's Chinese New Year's Eve, should we also cut some window flowers and stick them on the windows?" Anyway, it's also a New Year's meaning. Does the princess remember? The crow slave cut the flowers and cut them best. ”

Naturally, I remember.

Ah Sui's words are crisp and his actions are quick, but he doesn't know anything about the details of handmade female celebrities like me. The crow slave is different, although she can't speak, she learns things quickly and tightly, and her hands are skillful, and everyone praises the cut window flowers and says that they are good.

When I was a child, the three of us always nestled in the smoke cage of my boudoir during the Chinese New Year. In the cold winter night, we huddled together and watched the crow slave cut the window flowers while talking, and we did not fall asleep until the fourth watch.

I nodded and said:

"Okay, it's been a long time since I've seen a crow slave cut flowers."

The red paper received by the Ministry of Internal Affairs was thin and brittle, and the color on it was also red and dull and old, which was obviously a defective product left over from previous years. Fortunately, the crow slave was skillful, and I saw the scissors flying, and the flowers, birds, insects and fish were placed in the small dustpan next to the bed.

Ah Suizheng and I were fascinated, but the crow slave stopped the scissors and unfolded a piece of paper cut in his hand. This is a paper cut with intricate patterns, and I looked at it carefully, and it was cut of bats, five.

The crow slave had already gestured to tell me that this was a paper cut for blessings. Hanging it on a tree during the night of handover can pray for my blessings in the coming year.

My dry eyes were filled with hot tears.

Jiaozi prays for blessings, this is the old custom of our hometown Lingyang.

I had almost forgotten it, but the Raven Slave hadn't, and she remembered it for me.

I didn't try to hide it and let the tears roll down my hands:

"Thank you, Raven."

Outside the palace walls in the distance, there was a faint sound of firecrackers and the sound of fireworks taking off into the air.

We all stopped what we were doing.

Chinese New Year's Eve has arrived.

At this moment, as long as you stand on the Wufeng Tower of the Imperial City, you can see the whole picture of Shengjing.

Firewood honeysuckle sleeps at night. Firecrackers and fireworks are scrambling to bloom in the sky above the capital.

In the city, in the lights of thousands of homes, people are enjoying the ordinary but real family fun. It's just that they enjoy it but don't know it, they always want to get more, but they don't know that getting it often means losing.

The fireworks outside the palace walls rang off intermittently all night, and although they were far away, they still made me toss and turn in my dreams, and I didn't sleep soundly at all.

I tossed and turned in my dreams all night.

In my dream, I seemed to have returned to Lingyang, and I returned to the corner of the red mansion in Lingyang Palace.

The sun was so bright and warm that I could almost hear the laughter of the maids chasing and frolicking in the garden.

However, in an instant, the Red Mansion, the garden, and the laughter all disappeared in my eyes, and in front of me was a sea of fire. Tongues of fire of rage licked my body as if trying to engulf me.

I ran in a panic, but I fled deeper into the darkness. There seemed to be a thick fog rising all around, and there was no way to come or where to go, and I was the only one wandering alone in the cold sea of fog.

There were countless groans of pain in the dark mist, and desolate voices calling my name. I was so scared that I wanted to shout loudly, but I couldn't make a sound, loneliness and fear overwhelmed me, and I could only run as hard as I could.

Even in my dreams, I could hear myself whimpering and crying, and I could feel tears gushing out of the corners of my eyes and down my cheeks.

At this time, it seemed that someone was sitting on the edge of my bed. A pair of warm and rough hands caressed my face, gently wiping away tears for me. These hands are so warm that I am reluctant to leave, and I know that it must be Ah Sui.