Recently, I usually eat dinner with my third brother, Xiaohu, and Tian Xue. At night, a few people went to the library together, and several people laughed and laughed every day, and walked very closely.

Canteen.

Dinner.

Malatang.

Third brother: "Today I went to Building 9 to run errands, but I couldn't find it, and I got lost in the stadium." Then I asked a woman, which is Building 9? The woman said, "Ah, we're sleeping in Building 9...... Then he didn't speak, and his eyes were wide open, and he just looked at me directly. ”

The three of us looked at the third brother.

Third brother: "I waited for a while, and said which one is that?" She said, "Ahhhhhh......h ”

Tian Xue said: "She wants to soak you, how obvious." ”

Third brother: "I also know, who I want to soak?" I ~don't drop~. ”

Xiaohu: "Cut, big face." ”

Me: "The third brother is a moral model. ”

The third brother ignored me and said to Xiaohu, "What are you talking about me?" Big face? ”

Xiaohu grimaces: "Yes, the big face is really big!" ”

Third brother: "Because my facial features are too beautiful, I'm afraid you can't see clearly." ”

Then he looked at me fiercely: "What do you say about me?" Eating around? Eat your house? "As he spoke, he had to do it.

I said, "Oops. No, no, I said you are a moral model. ”

Xiaohu and Tian Xue were already trembling.

The third brother continued to murder me: "Yes, I will be exemplary." So learn more from my brother and see what my brother usually does. If you can't understand what my brother told you, can you understand it? If you don't understand, I'll go to the zoo and find you an interpreter. ”

Hey, forget it, if you're weak, you're going to be beaten, Li Chong, I don't have the same knowledge as you.

Xiaohu covered his teeth and smiled, and began to discuss the dark side of the women's dormitory with everyone.

"Those women in the student union are all perverted, they went to our dormitory to check the bedroom, touched their hands, and actually said that there was ash to deduct points."

How can a messenger of justice like me listen to this:

"Isn't it crazy, there's still mud in the flower bed downstairs, what's the matter, two points will be deducted from the principal."

Third brother: "Isn't the pinch just pretending to be ashes?" Do these SB inspections have to be used to fill the garbage with a pinch and then wash it as a rice bowl? This is especially to check the hygiene of the dormitory, if you check personal hygiene, you have to press down one by one to see if the buttocks are clean! ”

Tian Xue: "Li Chong! You're not disgusting. ”

Xiaohu: "Disgusting, pervert." ”

Me: "yes, pervert. ”

The third brother squinted at me, murderous: "What are you talking about me?" Perverted? I let you transgender, do you believe it or not? ”

The third brother put his arm around my neck and kept squeaking me.

I couldn't laugh anymore: "I didn't say you, I said the ones in the student union, you don't change your mind, you are the most handsome, hey, the most handsome, help." ”

Tian Xue said: "There are two girls in the bedroom next door who have a conflict, because the girl who got up in the morning on the top bunk is a little quieter, and the two of them have a feud." ”

I said, "Wait, it's a little bigger?" How big? Got up in the morning and threw a big iron basin? ”

Tian Xue said: "That's not true, it's just a little louder, maybe it was twice." Anyway, the two of them made a feud, and yesterday, the girl in the lower bunk secretly put white noodles in another girl's cosmetics and was seen by other students in the dormitory. ”

Third brother: "I'll go, I want to know what to put in it." ”

Xiaohu: "Then who knows, she won't admit it alive or dead." ”

Me: "It's not going to be corpse powder." ”

Xiaohu inhaled the cold air: "Oh, don't say it, it's terrible." ”

Third brother: "This old lady is really vicious..." ”

I said, "No, it's a big deal." ”

Third brother: "No, I thought I had robbed her of her eggs." ”

We looked at the third brother: "Grab eggs? ”

Third brother: "I said that once upon a time, a woman came back to her parents' house with a basket of eggs, and she met a robber on the way, and she was scared. The robber was a robber, dragged the woman into a tree and raped her, and left satisfied. After this woman got up, she fluttered on her body and said, what a big deal, it's scary, I thought she was going to snatch my eggs. ”

A few of us laughed first.

Tian Xue: "Li Chong, you are so vulgar. ”

Xiaohu: "It's so vulgar, you're so disgusting." ”

Me: "Haha, vulgar............. ”

The third brother squinted at me.

"Third brother, what, I said myself, I am the most vulgar, this joke seems to be what I told you before, isn't it...... Can you let me go...... Ay! Third Brother...... Hey, you else, let me go, help! ”

After the third brother received the supernatural powers: "What do you say about me?" Vulgar? I asked you to be vulgar, do you believe it or not? ”

Me: "I believe, I believe, third brother, don't me." ”

The third brother sighed helplessly: "you? The beauty of thinking. You can insult my personality, but you can't insult my taste. ”

At this moment, I kind of understand the girl who put noodles in her classmates' cosmetics, Li Worm, you wait, brother doesn't look for a chance to put chili noodles in your toothpaste.

After eating at noon, I took a criminal prosecution class in the afternoon. We listened to the second brother give a lesson to the teacher in the classroom. At the end of class, the teacher excitedly shook the second brother's hand, saying that he had been in the class for seven or eight years, and it was all wasted, and the second brother said that it was okay, didn't you meet me now, and besides, I studied high-rise buildings, and the foundation of society is inseparable from you basic theory educators, the social division of labor is different, young people should not be arrogant, your hope is tomorrow.

After class, it was half past three, and there was still some time before dinner, so the four of us went to the library together, Tian Xue and Xiaohu lay on the table to upload notes, and my third brother and I stumbled to the back of the bookshelf in the Chinese Philosophy District to chat quietly.

Third brother: "What do you want to eat at night?" ”

Me: "Let's have a quick bite to eat in the cafeteria." ”

Third brother: "Don't always eat in the canteen, I'll treat you and go out to improve the food." ”

"How can I always let you please, forget it."

"Oh, don't grind, everyone can be happy."

"It's almost eleven, are you going home?"

"Come back, come home with me for two days?"

"No, go home and accompany my parents."

"That's fine, I'll go back on vacation."

As he spoke, the third brother pulled out a copy of Xiong Shili from the bookshelf: "Xiong Shili? ”

I said, "Is this a human name?" ”

The third brother flipped through and looked at it: "It is written in it, one of the three modern saints." ”

I said, "So good? ”

Then we flipped through and came up with a little story.

It is said that when Xiong Shili lived in Jiangxi, once, a family in the village killed a pig and invited Xiong to eat meat.

Seeing this, the third brother and I couldn't stop laughing, and the third brother said, "Is this a fairy tale?" ”

I said let's look and see if there are any big tigers, pangolins or whatever.

It is written in the book that when Xiong left, the food was not yet good, and he casually wiped the table with the list of the shopkeeper selling meat for accounting. Later, the master said that the bills were all on credit, and Xiong Shili wiped the table, and his money was going to be wasted. The bear said, "Then I'll report it to you, and you can remember it again." As he spoke, he began to report. After the master wrote it down, he used his abacus to calculate it and said happily: "One or two is not bad!" Everyone in the room was amazed.

The third brother said, "Is this book written about mathematicians or philosophers?" ”

I replied, "It's about prodigies, right?" ”

The third brother became interested: "Then look back." ”

I continued to flip through the pages, and I saw such a story again.

It is said that Liang Shuming lived with Xiong Shili and more than a dozen young students in Beijing. At that time, Liang and Xiong had no regular income and lived on manuscript fees. But the bear loves meat, and one day, he asked the student who was in charge of the food how much meat he had bought him. Thin answer: The student answered half a catty. When Xiong heard that it was half a catty, he scolded: "Bastard! Buy me some! A few days later, Xiong asked the student again, "How much meat did you buy me today?" The student replied, "I bought 8 taels today (16 taels were a catty at that time)." The bear laughed happily: "That's pretty much it! This incident became a joke among the students.

After reading it, my third brother and I looked at each other.

Third brother: "This is also worthy of being called a story?" Your grandmother has a leg, playing with Lao Tzu? ”

I said: "What kind of broken book I said, the front said that a hundred catties of meat can remember how much can remember one or two, and the back said that half a catty and eight taels are not clear, this is nonsense." ”

The third brother said: "This book is not a fairy tale, it seems to be a mythological story. ”

I suddenly had an idea: "Hey, is it possible?" Xiong Shili first didn't know how to count, then he was laughed at every day, and then he went crazy to learn mathematics, and then went to the butcher shop to show that he could calculate the addition and subtraction of 100 catties of meat? ”

The third brother fell into deep thought: "Don't say any more, I almost believed it." ”

The third brother looked at his phone, it was almost 5 o'clock:

"Let's go, smoke a cigarette with me."

The two of us slipped into the stairwell, and the third brother ordered a red tower mountain.

In the dim light, the third brother swallowed the clouds and spit out the fog, looked at me evilly, and suddenly said:

"Little Wu, you're actually quite handsome."

I was shocked and subconsciously covered my chest with my hands. I thought, you look like Nicholas Tse, you praise me for being handsome, what kind of trouble is this?

Quantity question: (How many question marks did the third brother use today?) ）