In the days after the engagement, we had a short period of sweetness, and although the days were still tight, there was always hope in our hearts. Watching the team recover little by little, although slowly, is enough for us to look forward to the distant future together in the dead of night.

I've known each other for fifteen years, and I've been in love for almost five years, and I never expected that I would come to this day. Several times, when my life and career were facing a desperate situation, Yahan thought that I would give up on Meilu, but I finally survived. The real Meilu people have faith, whether it is for career or love.

I once wrote three love letters to Yahan, one hanging on the pine branch on the top of Mingyue Mountain in Yichun, one on the title page of the "If Bar" guest book on West Street, and the third one was buried by me under the old locust tree of a farmhouse in Panshan, Jixian County. Yahan once asked about the content, and I smiled happily and said to Yahan, wait for the crown to let us dig it up together, now it seems that there is no need for this.

After a short honeymoon we started arguing again, for the exchange of goods, and for everything. There is an incomparable contrast between the huge pressure of the bank to repay the loan and the miserable and ruthless reality of the team in Yahan's heart, when the pressure is too great, she likes to find someone to vent, hysterical like a mad dog. As she said, who called me the closest person to her? But are those closest to them destined to be wantonly harmed? She even has to pose as a leader at home, so I almost call her Manager Yan at home.

I mentioned children to her, I like children, and of course I hope that we can have a love crystallization in the future, but Yahan doesn't want to have children, she always tries to persuade me to adopt one in the future, which has become a new theme of my quarrel with Yahan after the focus of exchanging goods. In the first few months of 2007, we often fought over this. It wasn't until the end that I realized that it wasn't that she didn't want to give birth, but that she was too afraid of divorce, and she didn't want to have such a "drag bottle" in the future. From the moment we were together five years ago, Yahan had fantasized that we would divorce one day, and this belief grew stronger with the heat of our relationship. Maybe she has experienced too many family tragedies since she was a child, or she has too many unhappy families around her, so Yahan has never believed in love in her heart. It took me many years to finally prove my love for her, but she preferred to believe that it was temporary. She always said that I love her because I still need her now, which broke my heart, I thought that she would not have such thoughts when she came back from Guangzhou, but I believe that this thing is formed by years of fusion and precipitation, and how can it be easily melted because of a love? It's been five years, and someone once said that if love can't blossom after five years, then the end is destined to be a breakup.

In the days when I was away, Yahan's heart was too lonely. When she traveled to Singapore alone, watching others enter in pairs one by one, she remembered me, and that was the moment when she longed for me the most. So, the moment I finally dialed the phone, she couldn't wait for me to come back. I came back, but it didn't take long for everything to go back to the way it was, thinking separately, meeting and arguing, and getting rid of a pair of enemies from a previous life, like two hedgehogs approaching each other to keep warm. In the face of her inexplicable anger for three days, I responded with indifference. We both have deep scars on each other that are difficult to heal.

We used to stay in the center, and when all our friends were gone, we would take the mattress out of the cupboard and make a simple bunk in the office. The home is far away from the center, and living in the center can not only save time and energy, but also save a lot of fuel costs. I sometimes play a little game after work, and Yahan is always haunted by that. Her brother lost his mind because he was addicted to online games, and he divorced because of it, and Yahan has a deep passion for games ever since. As for the difference between a stand-alone game and an online game, Yahan, who doesn't understand computers at all, doesn't want to tell the difference, and she doesn't need a reason to be angry anyway, not to mention touching the scars in her heart. That night was a complete war, and Yahan not only flew into the sky in anger, but also beat me with a belt, thanks to not being in the kitchen at home, otherwise it would not be impossible to hold a knife. As a result, I was left with two deep blood marks on my body, one of which I will never recover. I took off my shirt in front of Chen Zuan and Lin Zuan, who had just come to Jinjin, and they could only be relatively silent in the face of the wounds that had just scabbed.

There was a time when Yahan had a strong desire for me to go out to work, she felt that the two of them lived and worked together, and the distance was a little suffocating, and at the same time, I would definitely have a good salary when I went to work, which could somewhat solve the urgent need at that time. I firmly refused, because Meilu is also my career, why should I leave? So Yahan set strict financial rules for me: except for car maintenance, refueling and banquets for important newlyweds, my daily living expenses cannot exceed 20 yuan, and this 20 yuan sometimes includes a boxed lunch for Yahan. At the end of every month, she has to do a routine audit, and I have to register all my personal expenses for the whole month, as small as a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of water, I can't leave out, otherwise there will be some accounts that can't be corresponded, and this kind of trivial matter always bothers me. Yahan often gets angry because of the dozens of yuan that can't match, I believe that no man can endure this kind of situation, let alone the so-called diamond with a small circle of light on the brain!

By May 2007, all the expired eggs, Duobao and calcium in the team were finally consumed under my unremitting self-use, and I fell into the embarrassing situation of having no nutritional products to eat. In order to maintain her energy, Yahan is still eating a lot of nutritional supplements, and her mother's nutritional supplements must be continuously supplied. I always had to give her a part of the new goods I exchanged for in exchange for her acquiescence and so-called support for my exchanges. And Yahan, the nutritional product I gave my father for thousands of yuan expired, would be furious, in her opinion, the product cannot be given away casually, even if it is a future, even if it is my father. It's expired, even if she throws it away, she never feels distressed. At the end of July, the decoration of the Shengshi World Healthy Life Hall finally ended, I was seriously ill with a high fever that did not go away, and finally couldn't stand the pain and ate two spoonfuls of her eggs**, I had not eaten any nutritional products for several months. This was finally discovered by Yahan after returning home at night, and she yelled at me, "How can I afford to eat like you?" "That night I ran to the Internet café and stayed up all night, and in the midst of the extreme pain I thought about the breakup.

Yahan always said that my indifference was like a knife, but what about her anger? We hurt each other deeply, and we can see it in the bone. She didn't want to break up, she always hoped that we could go on forever without marriage like this, she asked me, isn't it good to be a lover for life? When it comes to love, she will give examples of the three shirts and two ties that she bought me in five years, and she always felt that buying me something was an expression of love for me, but I would rather have nothing as long as she cared about me. Unfortunately, our understanding of love has never been compatible. Although women are from Venus and men are from Mars, this divergence has long since crossed the Milky Way.

After that fierce conflict, we had a cold war for a few days, and Yahan was really a little panicked about the idea of breaking up, she had never thought about what the world would be like without me. She proposed to go to Beidaihe to relax, forget all the unpleasantness, and start anew. Bringing our dog Nemo, we had a pleasant ride on our way. It is very happy to camp by the sea, accompany me back to my former alma mater, stand on the top of Lianfeng Mountain and look at the sea and sky, and watch her devour all the seafood in front of her one by one, but unfortunately this happiness is always fleeting. It was noon three days later, and it was always easy to get sleepy when driving alone, and I was dazed with my eyelids on my eyelids along the way, but Yahan still didn't want to do it for me, she slept soundly. Although I knew that she had made an appointment with the company's senior operating officer to meet for dinner in the evening, I still had to turn into the service area and delay for more than ten minutes. The road behind did grow more sober as Yahan began to complain that my delay in the service area for too long might affect her evening feast, and this complaint escalated with my silence until I couldn't stand the brakes anymore and pulled the car down the road. Yahan dropped the phone, I smashed the car door, and at that time, whenever I had two or three hundred yuan on me, I would not hesitate to rush into the crops on the side of the road and never come back. We were delayed even more because of the quarrel, and the evening dinner really had to be cancelled. Similar conflicts followed, and one time she went berserk while I was driving, and I opened the window and threw her phone out......

Whenever someone sings praises to Yahan in front of me, I always say that people have many faces, and the side you say is indeed true. No one knows all of Yahan, except me, who is struggling more and more painfully. I have always thought that Yahan's personality is split, she is a power type at work, she is a lively type in life, she is a perfect type emotionally, and she is a peaceful type when it comes to marriage. Four personalities in one, and in my life, she is the only type I have seen. Generosity and pride are hers, selfishness is also her, just like the spring breeze is her, like a fire or her...... Every side of her is so real, so real that there is no gap and there is no contradiction, the transition is like a cloud, and there is no pain in her heart. I often sigh how difficult it is to understand a person, old friends for ten years, five years of love, before I begin to really understand a person, not to mention those newcomers who give their lives to leaders in an OPP.

Yahan's mother always hoped that we could get married as soon as possible, but she was just an illiterate old lady, unlike Yahan's father, and her words had almost no effect on Yahan. Yahan presented me with a new challenge, and she would prefer to go up to the crown ambassador and get married. The legend of Ng Choi Yun, the single crown ambassador, seduces Yahan, who is already a single female diamond, and she desperately longs for that dazzling glory as she has won many awards. And as I put more and more front rows under Yahan, I also lost more and more insecurity, and I couldn't imagine how miserable my end would be if I couldn't marry her as I wished.

I have suggested that Yahan go to counseling many times, but she always delays it for some reason. In fact, she knew that she had a psychological problem, but she didn't want others to know about her. Yahan has always been secretive about the secrets in her heart, and I'm the only person in the world who still understands her. If you can't be honest and unfair, no matter how powerful a psychiatrist is, you can't do anything.

After the Spring Festival in 2007, I began to force Yahan to marry more and more frequently, and Chen Zuan, a senior in Zhanjiang, was actually more anxious than me. Only a stable family can have a stable team, and they know this truth better than me. When they went to the Zhanjiang East Sea Island Conference, Chen Zuan and Lin Zuan called Yahan to their room, and the two of them took turns to stay up with Yahan until five o'clock in the morning. To be honest, I never bribed them as Yahan thought, and they needed our union in order for this business to move forward quickly.

In accordance with the Company's regulations on the divorce of two marketers, the Company recommends that the main card (e.g. Yahan) inherit the household registration and enjoy 60% of the total revenue, while the secondary card (e.g. Xiaofei) give up the household registration and enjoy 40% of the total income. After the Spring Festival, in the face of my increasingly urgent attempt to force marriage, Yahan finally talked to me about the conditions. She wanted me to sign a marriage contract notarized by the Tianjin Notary Office, and the main terms of the contract were that in addition to the market of Manager Dayan, the income of other markets above DD before the divorce in the future would be implemented according to the company's regulations, and the small departments below the silver medal were not counted, and I happily agreed. Yahan's reason is very good, because Manager Dayan's market objectively existed before I left the mountain, and emotionally she couldn't accept that I would still be able to get benefits from her family's market after the divorce in the future.

A few months later, Yahan's conditions were changed to the two largest markets, except for the two largest markets of Manager Dayan (Dagang and some Beijing markets) and Lin Chao (Jiangxi and Guizhou markets), the income part of other markets above DD before the divorce in the future will be implemented according to the company's regulations. I gritted my back molars and nodded, but within two months, Yahan changed his hexagram again. In confusion, I dialed the phone number of Chen Zuan, and was silent for a while before Chen Zuan said, then whoever recommended the department will belong to whoever has no more opinions! I deeply believe that this is the fairest plan, no one takes advantage of anyone, I am not a soft rice eater, and I have never been softer than any real diamond in the front row.

Yahan resolutely disagreed with the plan of the leader, because at this time she had a new idea. In September of that year, Yahan's new plan was finally released. The main clauses drafted by Yahan are as follows:

(1) After the divorce in the future, the villa and car will be owned by Yahan;

(2) After the divorce in the future, all deposits will belong to Yahan;

(3) After the divorce in the future, 100% of the market recommended by Yahan belongs to Yahan;

(4) After the divorce in the future, Xiaofei will have 40% of all the income and Yahan will have 60% of all the income if the market recommended by Xiaofei will achieve DD or more at the time of divorce; The market that is not recommended by the laugh is 100% owned by Yahan in the small department of silver medal and below.

Yahan said that she will continue to pay for my department after the divorce in the future, and give me a small part of 40% to take good care of me. But have I done less than she has done for the whole team over the years? My heart began to be seriously unbalanced, and for most of the year I had been haggling like a mercenary businessman, and a marriage was finally negotiated as a business, and in my heart I began to hate myself. I finally seriously longed to break up, but I knew that with what I knew about Yahan, I would have nothing left once we broke up, and the strong sense of gain and loss made me so sad that I couldn't sleep all night. It took me five years to finally understand that Yahan is not a woman at all in her bones!

At the end of September, we went to Tangshan for the conference. Jade Yuanyuan from Tangshan and Niu Zuan from Shijiazhuang are two side department leaders who we have been working together since 2004, and they often get together to co-host conferences. Because Niu Zuan is the second oldest in the family, her close friends call her second sister. During the meeting, in the guest lounge, I finally aroused Niu Zhuan's strong curiosity, she was very familiar with me, and in the past few years, I have always seen me sticking to Yahan's side, and Yuanyuan solemnly introduced her. Friends are very concerned about Yahan's lifelong events, taking advantage of my speech on stage, Niu Zuan asked a lot, and when I got off the stage, Yahan had already briefly told a lot of stories with me, she was a person who wanted to save face, and it was impossible to involve too many details. Niu Diamond, who has been divorced twice and scored three times in Meilu, undoubtedly has a lot to say about marriage, and she is very enthusiastic about matching our marriage as soon as possible. After Yahan came on the field, she asked me a lot, and I talked about the hardships and ups and downs along the way, and there were many bits and pieces. After Yahan got off the field, Niu Zuan took our hand and said to Yahan that they are classmates for many years and old people who have experienced it together, and such a partner is really hard to find in life. Speaking of this, she changed her words, like an old sister, and began to criticize us in good faith for the situation we have come to today, in fact, both sides are responsible, Yahan seven and I three, and the last thing I should do is to indulge her all the way to the present, so that she has to inch in, and as a man, if you feel that everything is unacceptable, it is better to give up calmly, a man should be free and easy...... Niu Diamond's words are like an empowerment, although her original intention is to achieve this marriage, but I am grateful to her from the bottom of my heart, a man's dignity cannot be kidnapped by money and interests.

On the way back, Yahan asked me what I had told Niu Zuan, and in the face of emotional crisis, she was still concerned about how much face she had lost. She was very annoyed that I shouldn't leak too much to outsiders, how can I let her continue to cooperate with Niu Zuan in the future? I said lightly, "Break up, it's real this time." She said, "Yes!" And then there was silence all the way.

Throughout October, whenever I have time, I will think about it repeatedly, this is the most critical crossroads in my life, and I must be very cautious. Just like a stock that has been trapped, it has reached the moment when it must be liquidated. Liquidation is huge, but it is also controllable; And blindly persevering, in addition to losing more youth, is more likely to bury the happiness of a lifetime. I silently did what I had to do, and Yahan thought it was enough to talk about it as usual, but my heart had long since drifted away, slowly cold, then solidified, and finally became as hard as a fossil. It's been five years, and no matter how indestructible love is, it has already been devastated by wind and frost.

Many friends may think that Yahan is too stingy, why treat me so kindly? But only I understood that she was so desperate for love and marriage that she wanted to use the economy to completely restrain any attempt I might change my mind in the future. Yahan is extremely inferior in his bones, but in any case, as a man with a sound personality, this is unacceptable in terms of dignity, I can't sign this humble alliance for the title of diamond, true love can't be traded.

At the beginning of November, I solemnly informed Yahan of my final decision, and several times in a month she washed her face with tears, begging me not to abandon her, but my heart was already as solid as a rock, and after five years, I could not retreat, and she could not change anything. Taking the initiative to evacuate is always less than the loss of being forced to retreat, and I was 33 years old at the time, and there may be a glimmer of life for a comeback. Yahan said that if I left, she would most likely be celibate for the rest of her life. Yes, I know, because I know that there will not be a second man in this world who would be stupid enough to be so patient with her, and each of us is destined to pay a dearly price for it. She wants me to compensate her youth, but isn't it enough to give up everything that has been exchanged for more than six years of hard work? In the days to come, she will have to face the loneliness of a person, and I, a man who is about to reach middle age, will have to start all over again at the age of 33, which is cruel enough, what can I say?

Yahan had been in a fantasy for the whole of November, she felt that this time, as usual, was an angry joke, not serious, and once I did make a decision, it was impossible to turn back. She suggested that we go to Lijiang for our honeymoon to see if we could accept each other again, but I refused, it was pointless to go to the ends of the earth without any essential change, and I was not stupid enough to let my life step into the same river for the third time. A whole month passed, and I had no idea of changing my mind, and Yahan finally despaired. We had been separated for several months by then, and everything was a tragedy of character!

If a woman is too strong, the man will either be mentally impotent, or physically cheating, or he will walk away...... Since November, I've been working on the team's aftermath of the incident. I was like a death row inmate who was suddenly released from an indefinite sentence and wanted to get out of the cage, but I still had a lot of team affairs to deal with, such as the distribution of new people, the team's accounts, tangled triangular debts, residual inventory, and the re-application of Yahan's dealer license...... There is no one to take over a lot of work. I had to do everything possible to minimize the legacy, which was necessary for both the team and Yahan. No matter how anxious I was, I couldn't just walk away at that time. It seems that there are three or four newcomers who may come out that month, as long as they come out with them, they can still be allocated more than 10,000 yuan of old goods, and many old friends are still waiting for it.

My father was shocked by my decision, he didn't understand why Yahan didn't want to share everything they had worked together, and he didn't understand why his good fiancée parted ways all at once, and he couldn't understand too many things for me to leave for more than six years without anything. But as long as I'm still on the road and staying in Tianjin or Beijing, it's always embarrassing to look up and not look down in the same circle every month. If you don't want to continue to live in the shadow of Yahan, the only way is to go away, the farther away from Tianjin, the better, to a place where Yahan can't reach out. My father always complained that I was used by Yahan, how to say, from the bottom of my heart, I don't think Yahan is deliberately using me, she is just too selfish, too negative, and never thinks about others, as for the use of it, it is just an objective fact.

Because I have been taking care of Yahan's team and her personal finances, her account and cash are all in my hands, I could have evaporated with 1 million yuan, but I didn't do that. When handing over funds and accounts to Yahan, I asked, "How much is convenient for me to run?" Yahan said: "20,000 yuan!" I said, "Yes!" But before leaving, she changed her words for another 10,000 yuan, and I said, "No problem." "Actually, she doesn't give a penny, even if it is to borrow money, I will find a way to leave. In the past four years, the whole team has a total of more than 490,000 yuan of old goods in exchange for only 15,000 yuan in the end, looking at these futures in the end have to pay for themselves, Yahan looked very reluctant, I can only say coldly: "15,000 yuan to buy a diamond for so many years, it's worth it, you can be content!" ”

In exchange for this 10,000 yuan, I had to announce to the whole team that I had gone to the south to open up the market. And no matter how much I toss in the south, in Tianjin, I still have to continue to play the role of Yahan's fiancé and diamond. Yahan knows very well that with my influence, once the breakup is exposed, the team will immediately disperse. For the front row and departments of many of my offices under Yahan, she threatened, if you have the ability, you can ask them to return the card, as long as they are willing to return the card, she has no opinion. Yes, I have privately exchanged opinions with my departments for more than a few years, and they all voluntarily return the card, and are even willing to follow me to jump, but returning the card means that they and the people below them cannot conduct business normally for half a year. Wu Hao already has a silver medal under him, and Dalin also has seven or eight "guns" under him, Xiao Nie's team has extended to two cities in Guangdong, and I can't be so selfish. I persuaded them to work hard in Yahan's team, and Yahan was grateful for that. When we broke up, she promised me that she would return my two DD legs when the time was right, and today, all this can be avoided! 10,000 yuan? It's really not expensive!

Before leaving, I said to Yahan, "Without me, you will never be able to become a crown ambassador!" Yahan didn't believe it, so I smiled and said, "Then we'll see you in five years!" "Before that, we had planned to reach the crown in five years, but now, that's no longer my life's pursuit. It's been more than a year since she broke up and left Meilu for two years, Yahan is still a sapphire, it seems that it is still unknown whether she can recover the diamond after three years, let alone the crown ambassador? The old people are gone, and we are also light dust! The former "dream team" is long gone, and the soul of the team has been scattered, and they are still talking about dreams there!

The quiet room burns incense and sits opposite each other, and the lonely sail will be tomorrow and the end of the world. In the early morning of January 10, 2008, when Yahan was still asleep, I quietly left my "home" where I had lived for 16 months and left Tianjin alone, leaving only the Meilu watch on my wrist, which symbolized the identity of diamonds, at the head of the bed. Yahan pressed an additional 2,000 yuan in front of the window, a total of 12,000 yuan, and bought out everything I had for five years at one time: youth, blood, love, loyalty...... With this only asset in my life, I began a new wandering. Where is my home? I didn't have an answer, watching the figure of the city outside the car window fly away little by little, the mood was unrestrained, I was very soberly realized: I, finally free!

What is happiness? Happiness is "cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, Ultraman fights little monsters". Over the years, Yahan has been happy, maybe behind every successful Ultraman, there is a little monster who is silently beaten.