Last night, reader Abo asked, what is it about Meilu that attracts me? In fact, my previous experience can already explain the problem, but there are some most important things that need to be further elaborated. To really answer this question, start with my first love.

My thoughts drifted back to the small riverside town at the confluence of the Yangtze and Wujiang rivers, famous for its mustard and where I spent most of my childhood and youth. After my family was transferred from Qianjiang at the end of 1979, I spent the happiest ten years of my life here until 1990.

Xiao Ying was my elementary school classmate, and her family was only transferred from the county below to join our class when she was in the fifth grade, and at that time, we didn't know each other very well. When I was in middle school, we unexpectedly ended up in the same middle school, the same class, and still at the same table, which is why the old wolf's singing always touched my heartstrings so easily.

Without the Chu River Han Realm, our first year of junior high school was spent peacefully. Xiao Ying is a talented woman, she can write well, write good articles, and write good poems, so it is not so unusual to become the president of the Riverside Poetry Society when she was in college. Maybe I've always liked talented girls, and feelings just happen naturally. I was overstretched and sweating profusely to write an essay, but in order to be able to match her in the bottom of my heart, I was indignant and tried to keep the top three in the class, and I also spent many years constantly training my writing, which is why you can see this text today. The power of love is sometimes very powerful!

In a small place in the late 80s, this can be regarded as a very early love. As a sensitive and introverted person, it is normal for love to be difficult to open in the heart. The belt gradually widened and did not regret it, and it made people haggard for Yi. This "unrequited love" lasted for two years, facing each other day and night, and many stories happened, which made me unforgettable and made me miss it for the rest of my life.

The good times always fly by too quickly, and in the blink of an eye, the day has come when the whole family moves to Tianjin. That last time was painful and contradictory, the unknown world of the big city made me inexplicably excited, and leaving her made me suffer a lot, this farewell, meeting again may be the next life.

The last time I went to class was on April 4 of that year, when I came out of the Chinese language department to say goodbye to my teacher, and I happened to meet her eyes in the corridor outside the classroom, and her tears suddenly burst out like that, and I didn't understand until that moment...... But it was too late, I watched with tears as the familiar street scene faded from the corner of my eyes, farewell......

In the days that followed, we frequently talked about each other's lovesickness, and this kind of love affair lasted very platonically for four years, until she successfully entered the university (I stayed one level after arriving in Tianjin). Xiao Ying's thoughts are day after day, and I can't continue to delay her life like this, so I lied that I had a girlfriend and was very happy...... Since then, her letters have been much less and much lighter, and she can finally start a new life, make friends, and fall in love......

It has been my long-cherished wish to see Xiao Ying often for many years, but I will never have a chance to spend my life behind a desk, and it is extremely uncomfortable to be adrift for many years once I have stabilized. In my future life, I need to find a perfect balance between drift and stability. So, when I applied for volunteering in the third year of high school, I applied for tourism management in one go, focusing on the key students, general education, and junior college. Since then, I have been filled with infinite desire for freedom, and I am destined to find the illusory dream only from the beautiful road. The reason why Meilu can make so many people crazy is because Meilu can meet those unattainable dreams in the depths of people's souls in many ways.

It was April 1998 when I saw Xiao Ying again, and I went to see her in a relaxed state after the work was implemented. She had already arrived in Chengdu and was working as a homeroom teacher in a middle school. After that lilac rain, on campus, old feelings erupted like a volcano. Almost all night, talking about old friends, poetry, and life, listening to "Life is Meaningful" together, listening to Lai Mile's "Wait a Minute Today", I can still have a heart with one look after not seeing each other for many years, and I see the hope of being together again.

The next day, Xiao Ying took me to meet her boyfriend, and my heart fell to the freezing point all of a sudden. I forced her to help her analyze that this boyfriend couldn't read her. When I went to Chengdu again the next month, Xiao Ying really cut off that boyfriend, but she brought me to her new boyfriend again...... I told her that I could give up everything to come to Chengdu, but Xiao Ying was silent. She told me that she was just who I imagined she to be...... Actually, all I needed was a look from her. Before leaving, she gave me a week of Guoping's "The Enlightenment of the Lost", which I read over and over again on the train, Xiao Ying has always been a philosophical girl, and I can't understand the answer in this book. When I came to Chengdu, she was sorry for me; Back in Tianjin, she was sorry for herself—perhaps, this was my last interpretation.

After a few rounds, I was not able to go to work in Chengdu, and at that time, there were not many good jobs left. All I told her was that I would be back in a year, whether she wanted it or not. She had been wandering alone in Chengdu for three years, and I could understand everything about her, she needed a shoulder so much that she could rest when she was tired. After I came back, I worked like crazy, and in order to become a manager in a large company as soon as possible and have the capital to return to Chengdu, I only slept five hours a day...... At that time, I had just graduated, and I couldn't give a good future to the people I liked, let alone thousands of miles away. Romantic, ruthless is always blown away by the rain and wind......

I finally failed to board the train to Chengdu, and Xiao Ying got married in 1999, and this beautiful relationship lasted intermittently for 12 years, and finally became a wordless ending. On March 9, 1999, I wrote my last reply to Xiao Ying, and we have not been in contact with each other for nine years. A year later, I became the youngest department manager in Tianjin's tourism industry, and I also planted the bitter fruit of future failure, so I had Yahan's turnaround. There are flowers that can be folded straight and must be folded, and there are no flowers and empty branches. Since then, I have selectively "forgotten" everything, and I have cut off everything, the past, and I can't look back on the storm!

After the Wenchuan earthquake, the scene in the disaster area suddenly awakened that dusty memory. I suddenly worried about the woman who I had tried so hard to forget, the one who had haunted my dreams, was everything okay? Are there any injuries? After a long journey, in a sea of thousands of rivers and mountains, I finally found her again, she already has a happy little family, and has a lovely child. We still maintain a faint connection, a faint friend and a faint confidant. She will never know how far she has transformed my life!

Caused by causes, there is no end to the cause; Gains and losses follow fate, and there is no increase or decrease in the heart. I still remember the letter she wrote to me at KFC on Chunxi Road, one of which was "Who exists for whom in the vast sea of people?" Who stays for whom? "It still haunts me when I think about it.

Sometimes, life is too simple and love is too heavy...... will still complain, even if the butterfly can break out of the cocoon, it will eventually not be able to fly to the sea.