"Give an example of each book," Ye Qian said with interest, "Let's take the Water Margin as an example of learning to drive!" ”

"Okay," I said seriously, "when Liangshanbo became Liangshan Driving School, do you know what happened there?" When the Water Margin characters started to learn to drive, do you know what they did? ”

"I don't know," Ye Qian smiled, "Please explain!" ”

"Not every hero is a hero everywhere," I said with a smile, "and not everyone who learns to drive gets a driver's license." Batches of people learning to drive in the driving school have left, leaving behind one new and old joke after another to entertain all living beings. This book is based on one of the four great classics of Chinese literature, "The Complete Biography of the Water Margin", and the new compilation of various humors and jokes that occurred in the process of learning to drive at Liangshan Driving School, allows you to quickly master the skills and experience of learning to drive when you are happy and relaxed. ”

"How do you classify it?" Ye Qian asked with interest.

"There are six chapters," I said, thinking, "driving school, theory, practice, field test, road test, and practice." ”

"Give an example of each!" Ye Qian smiled slightly, "The driving school chapter begins!" ”

"Okay," I said with a smile, "and choosing a good cottage will make it easy." Choose a good driving school, and getting a driver's license will come naturally. ”

"Give an example!"

"The title is "Sun Erniang's Mobilization Conference"!"

"Where's the joke?"

"Sun Erniang is nicknamed Dominatrix. She is the wife of Zhang Qing, a vegetable gardener, who learned her father's skills and ran a black shop with her husband on Cross Slope. She went to Liangshan to join the gang after gathering in Sanshan to fight Qingzhou, inquired about the four stores of the cottage, and invited the fourth of the eight leaders of the guests, the one hundred and third heroes of Liangshanbo. At the cross slope, Sun Erniang held a mobilization meeting for her guys in the human meat bun shop. She swore that "if you can slaughter 10,000 corrupt officials this year and sell them as buns, as a reward, you can travel in my new car!" The guy in the shop exclaimed, 'But you don't have a car!' Sun Erniang said: 'That's right! When you're done, I'll have the money to buy a new car! The other guy yelled, 'Even if you had a car, you wouldn't drive it?' Sun Erniang said with great ambition: "So we have to work overtime these days and slaughter a few more of him, so that I will also have the cost of learning to drive!" ’”

"Where's the tips?"

"To get a driver's license, you should focus on your own conditions, especially your economic conditions and whether you really need to live and work. You can consider getting a driver's license if you are financially affluent, can afford to buy and maintain a car, and having a car can improve your quality of life; The station is far away from the urban area or the working distance is long, the time requirements are strict, and there is no suitable means of transportation and smooth traffic environment, so it is indeed necessary to have a car for daily work and daily life; want to seek a job as a professional driver or want to become a professional driver and make a living in a road transport occupation; The job or occupation requires you to have the skills to drive a car, or the job requires you to drive your own vehicle and often go out to perform tasks. ”

"Yes, give an example of theory!"

"If you practice martial arts well, you can live longer on the rivers and lakes; Learn the rules of the road so that you can drive longer on the road. ”

"Give an example!"

"The title is "Pan Jinlian Examination Theory"!"

"Where's the joke?"

"Pan Jinlian is a well-known legend, and her story is well known. On this day, after Pan Jinlian walked out of the examination room, she hung her head and didn't say a word. Da Lang hurriedly stepped forward and asked, 'How is it?' Jin Lian said with a depressed face: "I don't know, this is the second time for me!" Da Lang said with a nonchalant face, "What is the second time!" I've taken the exam five times and I haven't passed it yet! When you fail, just think about me, I don't live happily yet! Jin Lian glared at Da Lang viciously and said, "Can I compare with you?" Brother, you're about to become a legend! Da Lang smiled: "Don't envy brother, brother is just a legend!" Sister, you have become a legend since you married me! ’”

"Where's the tips?"

"If you want to successfully pass the regulatory test and don't want to become a 'legend' or 'joke' in a driving school, you must study hard before the test, listen carefully, take detailed class notes, and carefully complete the homework assigned by the theory instructor. During the study, students will analyze the traffic accident cases cited in the class exams and link them with the traffic conditions and various traffic violations they have heard and witnessed in real life, and find the correct answers from them. ”

"Yes, let's give an example of the car training chapter!"

"Fists and feet are practiced, and you can only get into the ring if you practice more; Driving skills are also practiced, and you can only get on the road if you practice more. ”

"Give an example!"

"The title is "Zhang Qing's First Day on the Car"!"

"Where's the joke?"

"Zhang Qing is nicknamed Vegetable Garden. He is the owner of the Black Shop on Cross Slope, and he originally grew vegetables in Guangming Temple. He was invited by Wu Song and Lu Zhishen to Erlong Mountain to settle the grass, and after the three mountains gathered to fight Qingzhou, he went to Liangshan to inquire about the four stores of the cottage, and invited the guests to be the third of the eight leaders, the one hundred and second heroes of Liangshanbo. After Sun Erniang learned to drive, he also wanted to learn to drive. On the first day of getting on the bus, the coach asked, 'Have you ever touched a car before?' Zhang Qing said proudly: "I have touched it, I touch it every day, and I ride there every day when I buy goods for the restaurant!" The coach sweated and said, "Do you still need to buy goods in that restaurant?" I heard Sun Erniang say that the goods in your cross slope store are all delivered to your door! ’”

"Where's the tips?"

"When learning to drive, you have to be humble. Maybe you've touched a car before, maybe you think you know how to drive and have been on the road, maybe you've been driving for years, so you don't think it's a big deal to learn to drive. However, maybe you don't know at all, driving schools don't like the above types of students, the reason is that there are too many bad habits of driving, and it will waste a lot of time and energy to correct it first in teaching; Secondly, such students often become the second coach during training, and they like to point fingers at other students, and the probability of failing the exam is also very high. ”

"Take an example!"

"As long as the kung fu is high, it is natural to laugh proudly; As long as you usually train solidly, it is only natural to laugh at the examination room. ”

"Give an example!"

"The title is "Pan Jinlian is confused again"!"

"Where's the joke?"

"Wu Dalang and Pan Jinlian's marriage has no emotional foundation at all. From Wu Dalang's point of view, he seems to think that this is a great good thing, and the toad eats swan meat; From Pan Jinlian's point of view, she was extremely reluctant but forced to be helpless. Although they are united, the disaster is buried, and the crisis lurks. On this day, Pan Jinlian and Wu Dalang quarreled all night. At dawn, she took a nap. It's her turn to take the exam. In a daze, Pan Jinlian got into the car and said sleepily: "Report to the examiner, get ready to get up!" The examiner happily said, 'Don't get up, let's sleep together!' ’”

"Where's the tips?"

"When learning to drive, as long as you learn driving skills carefully, you don't have to worry about whether you pass the test or not. There is a saying that 'success comes naturally', the success or failure of the exam is completely in your own hands, and relying on bribing the examiner to pass is tantamount to self-deception. ”

"Take an example of the road test!"

"The examination room is like a battlefield, and any self-deception has a price. Only by practicing a true skill, you will not be weak when you go to the examination room and the battlefield. ”

"Give an example!"

"The title is "Wu Dalang Overturned"!"

"Where's the joke?"

"Wu Dalang is definitely a person without self-knowledge. When Pan Jinlian was forced into him, a flower was inserted in the cow dung, and the dissatisfaction in her heart can be imagined. If Wu Dalang was a smart man with self-knowledge and could stay away from Pan Jinlian, he would not have been killed. Wu Dalang also had no self-knowledge during the road test, and he rushed into battle without practicing well. He thought it was cool to drive out. No one expected that before he had driven far, he drove the car and rolled over on its side. The examiner stumbled out of the car window, as if possessed by a demon, his face was iron-blue. Dalang, who climbed out of the window with the examiner, cautiously asked, 'Are you going to take the test today?' The examiner said angrily: 'Bake your baked cakes!' After the examiner finished speaking, he brushed his sleeves and left. ”

"Where's the tips?"

"The road test is mainly to test your comprehensive ability when driving a vehicle on the road, including conscientiously abiding by traffic laws and regulations, correctly observing, judging and dealing with various traffic conditions on the road, reasonably choosing driving routes and controlling vehicles, and completing the specified items in a standardized and safe manner. If you can overturn the car, it is recommended not to take the road test first. ”

"Internship for example!"

"The people in the rivers and lakes on the road are all temperamental, and they must be familiar with the rules of the road before entering the rivers and lakes alone; Drivers on the road are also temperamental, and they must be familiar with the rules on the road before driving independently. ”

"Give an example!"

"The title is 'The Coach's Advice to the Dominatrix'!"

"Where's the joke?"

"Since Sun Erniang opened the store, there has been a sentence on the rivers and lakes that 'Sun Erniang opened a store - seeking money and killing people'. After Sun Erniang got her driver's license, she asked the instructor very excitedly: 'Do you have any advice for me when I am about to leave Liangshan Shanzhai Driving School?' The coach said earnestly: 'Yes! That's if you hide your driver's license in the stove pit, it's good for everyone! Sun Erniang asked curiously, 'Why?' The coach said expressionlessly: "Because I don't want the phrase that circulated on the rivers and lakes to end up being Sun Erniang driving - making money and killing people!" ’”

"Where's the tips?"

"When you start to hold the steering wheel, it's important to remember: learning to drive a car is not for exams, nor for driving certificates, but for life, for survival, and safety is the first lifeline."

"Very good," Ye Qian smiled, "The topic of "Learning to Drive Humor: Water Margin Edition" is passed by me!" ”

"Thank you!" I said with a smile.