"Take "Journey to the West" as an example of driving!" Ye Qian smiled.

"Okay," I said seriously, "with a white BMW SUV and an unobstructed driver's license." What else can happen to Tang monks and apprentices on their journey to the west? ”

"What can happen?" Ye Qian smiled, "Please explain!" ”

"Once we get our driver's license," I said with a smile, "the next thing we need is safety in the car." To ensure safe travel, you need to have superb driving skills and rich driving experience. This book is based on "Journey to the West", one of the four great classics of Chinese literature, and newly compiles all kinds of driving humors and jokes that happened on the road of Journey to the West, so that you can quickly master various driving skills and experiences when you are happy and relaxed. ”

"How do you classify it?" Ye Qian asked with interest.

"There are six chapters," I said, "roads, environment, pedestrians, emergencies, accidents, and tourism." ”

"Please give an example of each article," Ye Qian smiled slightly, "Let's start with the road chapter first!" ”

"Okay," I said earnestly, "on the way to the scriptures, the monkey's mantra will not be relaxed for a moment. It's the same with driving on the road, and you can't let go of the tight grip of safety for a moment. ”

"Give an example!"

"The title is "Heavenly Soldiers and Heavenly Generals Catch the Monkey King"!"

"Where's the joke?"

"Sun Wukong is Tang Seng's great apprentice, who will soar through the clouds and fog and seventy-two changes. He has a pair of fiery eyes, and can see through the tricks of demons and monsters in disguise; One of his somersault clouds can turn 108,000 miles; The Ruyi golden hoop stick he uses can be big and small, as small as an embroidery needle, and as big as standing up to the sky. He occupies Huaguo Mountain as the king, calls himself the Monkey King, disrupts the peach festival of the Queen Mother, and steals the immortal golden pill of Taishang Laojun. After making trouble in the Heavenly Palace, the Monkey King fled back to Huaguo Mountain. The Jade Emperor urgently sent Li Tianwang to lead 100,000 heavenly soldiers and generals to Huaguo Mountain to arrest the demon monkey. Two or three days later, the Jade Emperor had not heard the news of the victory. The Jade Emperor asked Li Tianwang in confusion, 'What's going on?' Li Tianwang said depressedly: "Report to the Jade Emperor, we have arrived at Huaguo Mountain!" For some reason, there were no monkeys found, but there were suddenly many red lights on the road, and the traffic jam was terrible, so we had to fight a protracted battle with the traffic jam! ’”

"Where's the tips?"

The monkey's buttocks were round and red like a red light, which made Li Tianwang think that he had met a red light, but fortunately, he was in a good mood, not impatient or impatient, and fought a protracted battle with the traffic jam. But when we are stuck in traffic jams, many of us often curse and complain angrily, what is the use of that? It's better to be calm and take advantage of this idle time to find something else to pass the time! Listen to music, or read the newspaper, and fight a 'protracted war' against traffic jams like Li Tianwang. ”

"Here's an example of the environment!"

"Seeing your surroundings is only half the safe. Let the surroundings see you clearly, so that you have a safe other half. ”

"Give an example!"

"The title is "Wukong's eyes are a little embarrassed"!"

"Where's the joke?"

"The Sanzang master and apprentice crossed the steep stream of Eagle Sorrow and went to the west bank. The red sun is sinking in the west, and the sky is getting late. But seeing the light clouds and chaos, the mountains and the moon are dim. The sky is full of frost and cold, and the wind is heard on all sides. When the lonely bird goes, the sky is wide, and the mountains are low in the distance. Thousands of trees roar in the sparse forest, and the lone ape cries in the empty mountains. There are no pedestrians for a long time, and when the boat returns into the night. Walking to the entrance of the road, Wukong squinted and looked around. He looked at Da Shui Bo not far away for a long time, and asked in wonder, 'Master! Is this the water or the road? Tang Seng said expressionlessly: "Let's rest and rest before we go!" You see, your fiery eyes have become blind, and it seems that it is still not suitable to drive at dusk! ’”

"Where's the tips?"

"At dusk, it gets dark faster, and the dark adaptive vision of the driver's eyes has not yet been fully formed, the sight distance is shortened, the vision becomes worse, even if the headlights are turned on, the vision can not be significantly improved, and some objects with weak colors or brightness are easy to be missed. Therefore, it is necessary to be vigilant, concentrate and observe carefully according to the characteristics of road traffic at dusk, and be prepared to brake at any time in case of emergency. If you are traveling long distances, you can choose to take a break at dusk, take care of your own eating, drinking, and Lazar, so that your dark vision can form to a stable level, and wait for the night to fall before driving. ”

"Pedestrians, for example!"

"Those who want to eat Tang monk's meat are not mortal demons, they are sent by Rulai to test his sincerity in learning scriptures; Those who cross the road are not mortals, they are sent by God to test your mind and driving skills. ”

"Give an example!"

"The title is 'The Maniac Under the Five Elements Mountain'!"

"Where's the joke?"

"When Wukong was crushed under the Five Elements Mountain, he looked rather embarrassed. He had moss on his head and dills in his ears. There is less hair and more grass on the sideburns, and there is no need for green sha under the chin. The soil between the eyebrows, the nose is concave and muddy, very embarrassing. The fingers are thick, the palms are thick, and there is a lot of dirt. Eyes roll, mouthpiece and. Although language is convenient, the body cannot be moved. Although Goku can't move, his eyes can often see cars coming and going. One day, a tour group drove by. The driver saw from a distance an old bearded man dressed in animal skins in a stone box at the bottom of the mountain, and the monkey also saw the car, so he screamed and waved his hand. Tourists wonder and ask the guide, 'What is that?' The guide said, 'I don't know!' Every time our car drove through here, he had to go hysterical for once! ’”

"Where's the tips?"

"When you're out driving, if someone signals you to stop or call for help, it's best to ignore it, drive to a nearby gas station or a neighborhood, and call the police."

"An example of an emergency!"

"Although Tang Seng has no malicious intent, the goblins walking on the opposite side may not have good intentions; Although you are not drunk driving, the driver on the opposite side may not be sober. ”

"Give an example!"

"The title is "Journey to the West"!"

"Where's the joke?"

Tang monk and apprentice drove all the way to the west. While driving, Wukong's mouth was not idle: "Sand monk, look, there is another river!" ''Master, look, there's another temple!'' Bajie, look, there's another beautiful woman" Bajie suddenly shouted: "Wukong, look, there's a car in front of you, and it's already in front of you!" ’”

"Where's the tips?"

"If you notice that an oncoming car is about to collide with the car you are driving, try your best to control the vehicle with the steering wheel to avoid accidents. Therefore, when driving, drivers should keep an eye ahead and beware of vehicles entering your lane or rushing into your lane in an attempt to overtake. If this happens, drive to the right instead of to the left, as oncoming traffic may decide to turn to the right to avoid colliding with you, which will instead collide with you. At the same time, you should reduce your speed and, if necessary, drive off the road and give way to the other party. ”

"Here's an example of an accident!"

"Monks from the east should not be touched easily, the consequences of an accident are very serious; Don't touch other people's lovers and cars easily, the consequences of accidents are more serious. ”

"Give an example!"

"The title is "Wukong Puts on a Tight Spell"!"

"Where's the joke?"

After Wukong was put on the shackle spell, he felt very remorseful. He said to Tang Seng dissatisfied: 'Master! This thing is easy to be distracted after wearing it, which is extremely bad for driving, and driving requires special concentration, aren't you afraid of accidents? Tang Seng said expressionlessly: "Don't be afraid! I'd rather let you get into a car accident and kill me than let you me off alive!" Amitabha, I miss the mantra again......"

"Where's the tips?"

"The car accident is fiercer than the tiger. The 'tight spell' of traffic safety cannot be relaxed for a moment. ”

"Travel for example!"

"Most of the encounters on the road are unreliable, either this demon or that weird; Most of the car robbers and road ragemasters on the road are not on the side, and they must be anti-theft, anti-robbery and anti-sexual encounters when driving and traveling. ”

"Give an example!"

"The title is 'Goku's Miniskirt'!"

"Where's the joke?"

"Tang Seng and his apprentice got lost when they were about to reach the Flame Mountain. Wukong then called the Bull Demon King, the brother of the worship, but the Bull Demon King was not there, and it was the jade-faced fox who picked it up. Wukong said anxiously on the phone: 'I'm at the Flaming Mountain Pass, I want you to show me the way!' The jade-faced fox said, 'I'll go now, and what are you wearing?' Wukong said, "The one who wears a tiger skin skirt is!" The jade-faced fox asked, 'Where?' Goku said, 'Above the knee!' The jade-faced fox said suspiciously, 'That's a miniskirt!' Are you a man or a woman? ’”

"Where's the tips?"

"When you're travelling by car, sometimes you have to pass through very different climates in one day, so you need to dress for all four seasons. In order to minimize the volume, each piece of clothing is required to be worn separately or with each other to keep out the cold, of course, it is best to choose placket clothing, otherwise it is very troublesome to put on and take off off the pullover. Since it is difficult to do laundry on the road, the underwear should be disposable as much as possible, and the outer clothing must be dirt-resistant. ”

"Very good," Ye Qian smiled, "The topic of "Driving Humor • Journey to the West Version" is considered to have passed for me!" ”

"Thank you!" I said with a smile.