I stayed up all night until the day dawned. I don't even feel like I need sleep for the rest of my life. I felt sick and threw up the instant noodles I had eaten yesterday. I really wish I could get sick for Tang Ling. I even want to die for Tang Ling. In a world without Tang Ling, I don't know how to live.

I didn't feel sleepy at home and wasn't in the mood to go to school, so I decided to go out for a walk. The head is groggy because of lack of sleep; At the same time, he is very sober. It's paradoxical to put this feeling into words, but that's exactly how I felt at the time.

The residential area was empty in the early morning. It makes me feel lonely. I don't know when I've been so scared of being alone. Obviously, in the past, I just thought other people were annoying. People are really fickle, I thought calmly.

Riding the tram, I went to the arcade on the shopping street and played a game of shooting zombies. The zombies were shot and wounded again and again, but they still pounced on me relentlessly. It's a tenacious vitality, and I can't help but sigh. Eventually I was bitten to death by a zombie and I went to play a racing game. After the violent impact, I was still alive. I'm not bad for the golden body, and I can't die no matter how I do it.

I went outside, and I put the three cigarettes I lit in my mouth together. The thick smoke choked the eyes.

While crossing the street, I got into a taxi parked on the side of the road on a whim. "Go to the Jialing River," I told the driver. I don't know if I have enough money, but it doesn't matter.

When Tang Ling was by my side, I was always very happy, but once I became alone, no matter what I did, I couldn't erase the sentimentality in my heart.

The car arrived at the beach. The money is just enough. It's just that I don't know what to do on the way back. Hey, there's going to be a way anyway. It's okay to take a ride. I haven't tried it though.

The coast in the off-season is sparsely populated. I plunged headlong into the sand. The sand got wet. Occasionally, people passing by looked at me as if they were looking at a weirdo. It doesn't matter. I rolled around on the beach like I was lying on the carpet of my own home. Time perception began to paralyze. For a moment, I felt like I might be asleep or awake. Even if I did, I think it was only a few seconds of sleep. It was quickly past evening, and it was night.

When I came back to my senses, a policeman was staring at me.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. …… I'm normal. ”

I replied with a blank face, when my phone rang suddenly. I didn't even look at the screen, I picked it up right away.

"I'm sorry, I accidentally fell asleep yesterday. What happened to you? Send me that kind of message. Worried you? ”

Tang Ling's voice came from the phone, but the voice was weak.

"Hmm. I'm sorry. I was in a bit of a hurry. ”

"Howling?! Are you crying? ”

Tang Ling asked me in surprise.

"It's annoying to you. I didn't cry. ”

Finally, I replied.

The next morning, I came to the hospital room. Tang Ling had several tubes stuck in her arms that she didn't know what they were. Still, she was unexpectedly in good spirits. As soon as I entered the room, she sat up and looked at me.

"I've been a little sleepy lately. The time spent sleeping has also become longer. ”

Tang Ling may not know that I was here yesterday, right?

That doesn't matter.

"It's great to see you're alive."

I was on the verge of laughing. That's what I really think.

If Tang Ling was in good health, I might have other thoughts about her.

What do you want her to do for me.

I want her to like me.

I want to be treated gently by her.

I want her to stop lying.

However, when such wishes are stripped away piece by piece, there is only one thing left in the end - the hope that she will live.

It's enough that she's alive.

"What's wrong? Howling? ”

I desperately tried to hold back the tears in the corners of my eyes.

"Don't stop talking."

"I don't have any money."

"Huh? Want money? ”

"No, it's not. I took a taxi to the beach, and I didn't have any money on me, but it was broken. ”

"Why did you go to the beach?"

"I wanted to swim in the sea, but the water was too cold to go in. After that, the police thought I was suspicious and called me over for questioning. ”

"You're stupid, aren't you?"

"Maybe. I borrowed money from the police station and came back. ”

"It's a hassle to pay it back."

"It's going to take a long time to get on the train."

"Xiaotian, come here. You listen. ”

Tang Ling beckoned to me. I approached the hospital bed.

"Hmm."

I was a little nervous.

Tang Ling stretched out her hand and pulled me over.

I threw myself into her arms like I had fallen.

A burst of soft touch.

"What are you doing?"

I was hugged tightly by her.

"Didn't you let me listen?"

"Hmm. You listen, the sound of the heartbeat. ”

Listen carefully, you can really hear it.

"Aren't you still dancing energetically?"

I hugged her gently.

"Wow, don't, out of breath—"

Tang Ling smiled shyly.

"Let go of me, pervert, idiot!"

Don't want to let go.

"Xiaotian, I'm sad in my heart."

With that, Tang Ling pushed me away. Those hands are still very strong.

"Now, think about it. It would be sad if the person you liked died. How painful. I can't forget it for the rest of my life. You don't want that, do you? I tried to imagine it. I think it's hard to survive. So, you'd better give up, right? Right here, give up. ”

"That's enough."

I stared into her eyes and said.

"I don't mind being sad or in pain. I will never forget you. ”

"That's so hard."

Tang Ling looked away and lowered her head.

"I like you."

I don't want to hide from liking her anymore. I don't think I can escape my sincerity.

I thought, I ...... No, we can't run away anymore.

"That would make it difficult for me."

Tang Ling dodged her gaze, and her body kept retreating. She sat and hugged herself as if she was afraid of something.

"Why?"

Tang Ling was silent for a long time. I didn't look at the clock, I don't know if it lasted a few seconds or a few minutes, and we were silent, as if the whole world had stood still. Even the body is motionless.

Then, Tang Ling looked at me.

Just silent, staring at me.

I didn't look away either.

We looked at each other for a long time.

I felt like I couldn't look away. If I did, I was afraid I would lose something.

Tang Ling looked at me with a faint anger in her eyes.

Her eyes are clear and moving.

A line of tears ran through the corners of her eyes.

After crying, the tears flowed like a.

Even so, I looked at her motionlessly.

It was a long time before she muttered something in a low voice.

"I like Xiaotian too."

It would be nice if time could stop at this moment.

When I think of Tang Ling's life coming to an end, sometimes, I myself have an urge to die.

People will die one day. Whether it's morning or night, you're going to die. Case.

Isn't it the same when you die? Sometimes I think so.

After she died, the world went on as usual—I didn't think I could handle that cruelty. If all the people in the world were born and died together, I probably wouldn't be so angry.

The world is cruel.

I don't know what it means to be alive. I don't feel that way recently, I've been like this for a long time.

"You haven't looked good lately."

During recess, Wu Jie stared at my face and said.

"Be nosy."

"You're not thinking about anything bad."

"Bad things? What do you want to say? ”

After I answered, Wu Jiemo was silent.

"Do I feel like I'm going to storm the Great Hall of the People with a bomb in my hand?"

"Hmm. It's like rushing into a girls' school naked. ”

"Together?"

"I'll be with you all the time."

I smiled slightly, and Wu Jie also laughed with me.

"Wu Jie, thank you." After that, I thanked him.

"How are you and Tang Ling doing now?"

"I'm at a loss right now."

That's how I feel right now.

"Then you'd better figure it out. Aren't you a big man. ”

It has nothing to do with men and women. I wanted to say that, but it was too boring for me to say it.

"What should I do?"

I casually asked.

"You just have to be there for her and listen to her."

Wu Jie gave a reasonable suggestion. A common piece of advice for the average couple.

"yes."

I replied briefly.

We count the days and spend each day. Tang Ling's physical condition is good and bad, and she is always unstable. Visits are sometimes banned, as before. Still, on the days when she was in good shape, we were able to talk. After these days, Tang Ling no longer asks me to do "what I want to do before I die".

So, one day I said to Tang Ling.

"Don't you have anything you want to do?"

"That'...... I want to kiss. ”

Tang Ling replied.

"That means I just need to find someone to kiss Tang Ling as usual?"

"Yes. Xiaotian just needs to kiss the person you want to kiss! Oh no, wait a minute, yike——! ”

I pressed Tang Ling and insisted on kissing her. Tang Ling struggled desperately to resist.

"It's still early! We're still early! ”

Tang Ling said something like this. Because her resistance was so fierce, I finally gave up.

"I like you, Xiaotian. I'm sorry for this long time. ”

Tang Ling said, as if she was comforting me who couldn't kiss successfully.

"Now, do you think we should have made our hearts like this sooner? We're too late. ”

"No...... However, I feel that it is necessary for us. If it weren't for what we've been through, we probably wouldn't be in the relationship we have today. So, that's it. ”

"Like that botched crystal ball?"

Tang Ling smiled and pointed to the crystal ball on the bedside table. I made it myself out of a glass bottle, and it was decorated with the same model of the wooden house as before.

"Don't you like it?"

"It's not pretty...... But I felt the heart. ”

Lately, I've been getting sleepless at night.

Instead, I catch up on sleep in class. As a result, I slept during the day, and my life was completely reversed.

On this day, I woke up in the middle of the night. Looking at the clock, it was only two o'clock in the morning. It hadn't been an hour since I fell asleep. I was going to sleep again, but I couldn't.

I got bored, so I cleaned up my room.