When I entered the police station, it was still bright, and when I came out, it was dark outside, and it was already midnight.

During the day today, I was spurious, and I was stimulated to stab a female cousin with a knife, and then I was brought here by the police, and then I was released on bail again.

Late at night in Beijing, the temperature was minus 10 degrees Celsius, and the snow was fluttering outside, and as soon as I walked out, I saw the man I liked.

At this moment, he was standing outside the police station, and his calm face changed a little the moment he saw me. He's so good-looking, I can still see him even when the snow falls on my eyelashes and buries my eyes.

I rushed to him like a mad dog, and raised my hand to slap him, but he was quickly stopped by his hand, and a large hand grabbed my wrist fiercely.

"Shen Zhihan, do you want to die?" He asked viciously, and as soon as I put my hand on it, I was immediately pushed into the snow, which had just fallen, and was only covered with a thin layer on the ground, and the road was so cold and hard that I felt like my bones were about to fall apart.

I quickly got up from the ground, at this time, I must be very embarrassed, but who the fuck still cares about this, I stared at the man in front of me, "I won't be stupid enough to die alone, everyone will die together!" ”

He clenched his jaw, raised his right hand and grabbed my head, and then followed my head, and the hand slid to the back of my neck, and pinched my neck hard, his eyes red with anger, "What the hell do you want?" Haven't had enough of it? ”

"Is that enough? Isn't that female cousin still dead? I craned my neck, laughed and looked up, "Why is it okay?" Besides, it's me who should be angry, what the fuck are you to be angry about? ”

When I said this, something strange happened in the amber pupils of the man in front of me, and then he loosened the hand that was holding my neck, and while saying, "Lao Tzu should let you stay in prison and reflect", he picked me up horizontally and threw me into the next carriage. Probably thinking that I would really die with him while he was driving, he tied my hands and feet with ropes, threw me behind as if kidnapped, closed the door, calmly tidied up the clothes I had scratched, and sat in the driver's seat and launched his Lamborghini.

He didn't stop me, and along the way, I cursed his whole family to go to hell sooner rather than later, and scolded all the swear words I had learned in half my life. In the end, he couldn't bear it anymore, and when he turned the corner, he stepped on the accelerator hard, and I fell straight down while lying in the back seat of the car.

I grinned, my hands and feet tied, or I would have put my hands on his steering wheel and died with him.

The person in front slowly raised his eyelids, glanced at me casually in the rearview mirror, and said coldly, "Shen Zhihan." I don't have the heart to go crazy with you, you can be honest with me. ”

He parked the car in the garage of one of his apartments, then untied the rope from my feet and dragged me into his house with a hard pull before untying the rope from my hand. As I untied it, I quickly raised my hand and slapped him, but he didn't dodge.

He brushed his face aside, and then asked me lightly, "Did you succeed?" Happy? ”

"If you die, I'll be happy."

He sneered, pushed me to the bedroom, and pulled my clothes without turning on the light, I immediately stepped back and began to struggle, but he didn't mean to let go at all, and sneered while grabbing my wrist and said, "Shen Zhihan, haven't you always wanted me to touch you?" What kind of reserve is pretending to be for Lao Tzu at this time? ”

"You don't disgust me!" I yelled and started kicking him, "Don't you always disdain to touch me?" Don't pretend at this time? ”

I don't know if it was my words or my actions that angered him, he threw me straight to the bed, and he was very hot, which was a particularly noticeable difference from my cold skin.

Without any prelude, my first time, when I had just turned nineteen, gave me the first man I fell in love with, and the man I hated the most at this moment.

When I woke up the next morning, I was covered in bruises and purple, and he was no better, with my fingernails and teeth marks all over my shoulders and back.

Probably because my heart was so uncomfortable, and the pain in my body was numb to me at the moment, I struggled to get up from the bed, got up and walked to the kitchen, took out a bottle of cold beer from the refrigerator, pried it open, rushed back to the room, and poured all the beer on the man's beautiful sleeping face. He was instantly awakened by the cold liquid.

"Are you sick?" He got up and grabbed me, "Shen Zhihan, I don't care if you're really crazy or fake, you should know what will happen if you provoke me." ”

I know, of course I do.

But at such times, what else do I have to fear? When the beer was finished, I picked up the bottle, smashed it on his head with all my might, and sneered, "You know what to do?" What if you don't know? Do you think I'm going to be scared of you? ”

Looking at the way blood and beer slowly flowed down his forehead, and the air was mixed with the aroma of blood and maltose, I smiled and laughed, and tears fell, but my heart was extremely happy. After so many years, except for the crying when I was ignorant when I was a child, this is the first time in my nineteen years of life that I have seriously shed tears, I like him, and I hate him very much.

This is a memory that came back to me at the beginning of 2009, about the debt I owed the previous year.