On the first day, the first day of the first lunar month, the family reunion in the world, and the underworld is no exception。。。。。。

Of course, it is impossible for a ghost town to be decorated with lights, and it is not that there have been red lanterns that have not been hung to set off the atmosphere in the past, but the ghost cha who shuttles between the two worlds of yin and yang suggests that the dark and deep red light of the dungeon always reminds people of some indescribable places in the world. In addition, the souls waiting for reincarnation also protested, saying that when they saw the red light, they remembered the painful experience in the fire hell, the pain of being gouged out and their noses and eyes gouged out, which was inhumane and did not respect the rights of ghosts.

Therefore, every first day, the city of Xudu will be full of white lanterns. The Ten Hall Yamas, the Four Ghost Emperors, and the judges of the Seventy-two Criminal Divisions will gather in the Yama Hall for an annual meeting to summarize the work of the past year, set goals for the coming year, commend some outstanding ghosts, and severely punish a group as a warning.

"Zhong Kui, the word is south, day and night, diligent, catching countless ghosts, awarded the title of guardian of the underworld." Above the main hall, a blue-faced man who looked like a scholar read out with a smile on his face. Don't look at his appearance among the ghosts, he is a little weak, but no one dares to underestimate him in the underworld, because he is Cui Fujun, the chief judge in charge of the book of life and death. After he finished reading, he swept around the position of the ten halls of Yama on the stage and didn't find Zhong Kui, and looked down the stage, and found the ugly-looking bearded man at the table of the black and white impermanence and the ghost kings, who is not the famous Zhong Kui, and scolded angrily: "Emperor, why did you sit there and come up to receive the award." ”

"Lao Cui, what kind of underworld guard, you still don't know me, that's because you can't be idle, and if you can't be idle, is it meritorious? If you really want to give something, how about awarding two jars of good wine? ”

"Your local government is a winery, huh? Awards and wine? Cui Fujun choked, causing a burst of laughter in the hall.

Zhong Kui is a person, the underworld knows everything, and the heavenly court doesn't want him to be a peaceful god, how can he care about fame and fortune. But every year is his most dedicated, and he can't help but commend him, so he changes his law every year, and the latter refuses to accept it every year, and it gradually becomes an interactive program, and Cui Fujun naturally won't force it.

In the center of the stage stood a leopard-eyed, lion-nosed man with a red-haired face. The audience was silent for a moment, there was no way, but they were the king of Yama. He waved his hand at Zhong Kui, and occasionally smiled on his usually serious face, not only did he feel friendly, but instead of feeling friendly, he made the hair of the ghosts stand on end.

"Zhengnan, come on, come on, come up and sit, I'll ask my subordinates to go back and bring you a few jars of good wine, and you can drink enough."

"Boss, don't laugh if you can't laugh, it's weird, forget it with you, you have to hold a shelf when you eat, I'm afraid that if I drink too much, I will lose my temper and change from a guardian of the underworld to a scourge of the underworld in the coming year."

"Old Zhong, you can pull it down, Yan Jun, you'd better send someone back to see, your wine is still there, anyway, the last time he went to my place, the wine cabinet was empty, I seriously suspect that he was afraid of the crime, so he didn't dare to drink with you." King Qin Guang and Zhong Kui in the first hall were very good, and they also joked, causing all the ghosts to laugh again.

The entire underworld knows that although Zhong Kui is nominally the ghost king of the underworld, if you really talk about it, the name of the emperor blessed by the town house is not inferior to that of them, the lord of Yama, but he doesn't care about the fame and is humble. Therefore, Ping Suli was so serious that Yan Jun was willing to make this kind of joke with Zhong Kui to show his closeness, of course, in the underworld, Zhong Kui dared to gag with them.

King Yama, who had never been smiling, also pretended to be serious and said, "Then I have to go back and check carefully, Cui Fujun, you can continue." ”

After commending Zhong Kui, according to the usual practice, the punishment list began to be announced, and the venue was suddenly silent, and some ghosts who had improper behavior on weekdays had begun to tremble. There's no way, if it's named on this occasion, it's really called eight lifetimes of blood mold.

Cui Fujun changed his words and said in an extremely cold tone: "Offering to Si Wang Mudong, three beauties who secretly hide the yang memorial service, commit greed and indulgence, and sell three lives of yin virtue!" ”

As soon as the words fell, I saw a fat ghost in the audience fall to the ground.

You may have to ask, isn't it just to reduce yin virtue, as for such fear. Ghosts are not like people, and adding or subtracting yin virtue is not as simple as adding a stroke to the book of life and death.

"Legs, legs, legs, Lao Tzu wants to eat legs."

Zhong Kui took the lead in shouting, and the ghosts in the audience became agitated, seventy-two divisions, hundreds of judges, flew towards the fat ghost, and after a pawn cut off his two legs neatly, with a terrible howl, a group of yin almost ate the fat ghost in less than half a minute, and there was no scum left, no way, the scum is also yin, and the slag is three yin virtues, and a little scum is three yin virtues, if it is given to mortals, a little yin virtue is enough to hand over good luck.

Cui Fujun was still announcing the verdict, and there were howls of raw food coming from time to time in the venue, and Zhong Kui and the black and white impermanence at the same table had already begun to push the cup and change the lamp. The year-end punishment is naturally not a good thing to be named, but for other ghosts, being able to get Yin Virtue is the best year-end bonus, and these ghost kings naturally won't go to rob the younger brother, Zhong Kui took the lead in shouting just now because he didn't speak, how could others do it.

"Go and fry it in the oil pan of the Nine Layers of Hell, and it's still bloody, mushy mouth."

Zhong Kui pointed to the two legs on the table and ordered, if there is a ghost, go do it immediately, black and white impermanence smiled, they knew that as soon as the oil pot was fried, the yin virtue would be gone. The short and fat black face, the official hat on his head that says that the world is peaceful is black impermanence Fan Wuxian, he has always been silent, but with Zhong Kui is completely like a different person, touched a cup, drank it all and said: "Emperor, do you know how Wang Mudong's broken things were discovered?" It's funny to say. I don't know what the people in the yang world think, he stabbed two foreign girls to his ancestors and burned them, you know the rules of the underworld, the dead are not virtuous enough, they are not blessed to be worshiped in the yang world, and the offering division will destroy it by itself. Usually, no matter how bold the messenger of the Offering Division is, he doesn't dare to be greedy for these living creatures, but Wang Mudong saw that it was a foreign girl, so he couldn't help but start. As a result, the foreign girl's voice was louder, haha. ”

While they were chatting, there was a sudden commotion outside, and someone shouted: "The Bodhisattva is here!" ”

。。。。。。

"Stop! Don't talk about it! ”

In a pet-themed western restaurant, a couple of men and women sat opposite each other by the window of the street, and an ordinary-looking girl with a surprised face interrupted the rough-looking boy across the table from his speech.

The girl looked at the loaf of bread in front of her, remembered the two legs of the fat ghost in the boy's story just now, she couldn't swallow it, and she regretted ordering a glass of blood-red grapefruit juice. The heart said, a blind date is really any strange thing can be encountered, even if it looks ugly, how is it a neurosis, but it is here, the main meal has not been served, and it would be a pity to leave now.

She persuaded herself not to be angry, to stabilize her emotions, and reluctantly smiled and said, "Chen Mushan, right? I wonder if you didn't hear clearly, the atmosphere was inevitably a little awkward when we first met, so I proposed that we each tell the funniest story we have ever experienced, and you can tell me this? Meetings in the underworld? Black and white impermanence? Ghost King Zhong Kui? Hades judge? If I hadn't interrupted, would you still be talking about some immortal bodhisattva? ”

"I've really seen it!" The boy on the other side said innocently.

The girl was really angry, and tried her best to suppress her anger: "Okay, well, your experience is so peculiar, why don't you write a novel?" ”

Seeing that the pleasant communication was about to be killed by himself, the boy changed the topic and said, "Write a novel, forget it." ”

"Why?" The girl accosted.

"I'll tell you a story about a fiction writer!"

The girl's heart said, as long as it doesn't say anything about the topic of demons and monsters that affect appetite: "Okay." ”

"Once, there was a fiction writer who broke halfway through his writing."

The boy got up, and the girl waited for a long time and didn't see him continue, just looked at herself strangely and smiled, and asked, "What about below?" ”

Chen Musheng puffed and said, "There is no more below!" ”

The girl was stunned for a long time, and then she came back to her senses, and suddenly felt vulgar, and finally understood that it was not the story that affected her appetite, but the person in front of her, she was here on a blind date, and the person in front of her was so tasteless, what reason was there to continue to stay, so she got up angrily and left without looking back.

The boy, who didn't understand the situation at all, was full of ignorance, and said to himself, "Am I not humorous? ”

"Still humorous? This joke can chill people to death! Fool, deserve to be single. A voice whispered to himself.

No one will hear this sound, because in the ears of ordinary people, it is just the bark of the orange cat that has been lazy in this restaurant, but Chen Mushan is not an ordinary person.