Not long ago, a junior high school student who had just entered middle school talked to me on the Internet, saying that he didn't like his current class and teachers very much, and wanted to change classes.

She said that it was because the classmates were not united and the teacher was too strict, so she couldn't stand it and wanted to transfer to another class.

I was thinking that when I first entered middle school, I would definitely have some discomfort, and you had to quickly adapt to the new teacher, the new collective, and even if there were reasons like you said, you had to overcome and adapt.

So, I told her everything I was thinking, hoping to persevere. Now that I think about it, sometimes a good leader or having a good team does have a big impact on the individuals in the team.

Roth's point of control theory argues that people have different interpretations of what happens in their lives and who controls their outcomes.

"External" people often say,

"I can't do anything about what happens to me, my pleasures and pains are not something I can decide, my life is completely determined by fate".

whereas

"Internally controlled" people believe that

"What happened to me was largely determined by the decisions I made and the effort I put in, and I believe I can always find a way to solve my problems. When I can't influence what happens, I can still decide how to let my surroundings affect me."

The former kind of people will complain and resign themselves to fate when they encounter setbacks; The latter type of person will find ways to deal with it positively.

While action may not change all situations, inaction often makes it impossible to change it.

Any emotion is an energy, accept it, and it will flow faster. Many people fall into negative emotions for a longer time because they can't accept the turning point or their reactions.

If you're confronted with a twist that you can't choose, try to say so

"Yes" instead of

"Nope". If you can't get along with what has happened, you can't get along with yourself,

"How life should be",

"How others should be" is actually resistance, which not only does not help, but also drags us into the quagmire of complaining.

Human energy is always limited, and it is even more powerless to change when it is always in confrontation. If you can't figure it out on your own, find someone who can support you, whether it's a trusted partner or someone who has been through a similar transition, and who lets you know that you're not alone and that they've been through your situation.

Movies without twists and turns often make people feel bored and sleepy, and a colorful life cannot be a straight line without twists and turns, and we can't refuse to turn while asking for excitement.

Steve Jobs said at Stanford University's commencement that life is the process of connecting the dots.

No matter how hard we try to plan our lives, life will always have unexpected episodes, and maybe one day you will find that when those turning points are connected, you will know why they happen.

And before we can see this, all we need is to do what is in front of us and always follow the convictions of our hearts.