I don't know how I spent that time, I just know that there was chaos in my mind.

Whether I was awake or asleep, there would be the child I didn't have the chance to see.

In the dream, the child kept asking me why I didn't save him, he didn't want to die.

I said I'm sorry over and over again, painful and desperate.

In the end, I didn't dare to sleep, let alone open my eyes again, because I was afraid to see this child who made me feel guilty all my life.

"Miss hasn't slept again?"

"No, it's been two days and two nights, and she's still sitting."

"Either we persuade her, or the gentleman will come back and talk about us again."

The servants listened to the conversation word for word, but I had no energy to answer them.

"Miss, you should sleep, if you can't sleep, I'll go get you some medicine." I learned from the names that others had called her in the past two days, that her name was Yu Fei.

"Don't."

I hadn't eaten properly for days, my throat was already hoarse, and every word I uttered was as ugly as rubbing a dead twig on the ground.

Yu Fei and another person named Jiajia glanced at each other, and said again: "Miss, your body like this will be unbearable, so let's take some medicine first." ”

"Don't you understand what I said? Get out. ”

How can I take medicine, I may never think of my child again after taking medicine.

I was too guilty to see my child, but if I had to deprive myself of the luxury of seeing each other in my dreams, I think I would break down.

I ignored the two men and fixed my gaze on the snow-white wall in front of me, where I seemed to see my child.

But after looking at it for a while, a sadness rushed out of my heart, and I was buried in an instant.

The tears flowed uncontrollably, and the more I tried to stop, the more it flowed.

As I was crying, I suddenly heard a series of hurried footsteps in my ears, and then a man grabbed my hand and pulled me up with force.

"It's been a week, how long are you going to be decadent."

"It's none of your business." I angrily wanted to pull out the hand that was grabbed by Gu Ci, but I hadn't eaten seriously for several days, and my body was soft and had no strength at all.

"You think I'm really willing to take care of you, if it weren't for the hard work to get you back, it has nothing to do with me whether you are dead or alive." Gu Ci said in a cold voice.

I laughed with tears in my eyes, "Do you regret it?" If you regret it, leave me alone now and leave me to fend for myself. ”

Gu Ci had anger brewing on his face, "It's just a child, if you lose him, you will have other children in the future." ”

"You know what?" I angrily retorted, "I can't have any other children in my life, and even if I had, I couldn't be the children I once was." Do you know how much effort I have put into this child? Do you know how much I look forward to his arrival? You don't understand, you don't understand anything. ”

I ended up screaming almost with all my might, and with that terrible voice, it was no different from the evil spirits from hell.

A different color crossed Gu Ci's face, "Yes, I don't understand your feelings, but if I encounter this incident, not only will I not be decadent, but I will be strong and seek revenge on those who hurt me." ”

"Revenge?" I coldly tugged at the corners of my mouth, "If revenge can bring my child back to life, then I will take revenge." ”

As long as the child can come back to life, even if the world is turned upside down, I will not hesitate to do it.

"You're hopeless." Gu Ci held back for a long time before he said this sentence, "Take the mirror." ”

I don't know what Gu Ci meant by this, but after a while, the servant came over carrying a huge dressing mirror.

Gu Ci dragged me from the bed to the floor, clasped my chin hard, and made me look at myself in the mirror.

It's been a long time since I've seen what I look like, and at first glance, I still don't believe that the person in the mirror could be me.

The man in the mirror has withered yellow hair, a frighteningly pale face, and a frighteningly red pair of eyes, making him a Yaksha from hell.

I looked in the mirror and smiled like crazy, "I shouldn't have lived, it's too painful to live." You shouldn't have saved me that day and let me die with my children. That way I won't be in pain, and I won't be in pain. It's all your fault, you saved me. ”

In the past few days, I have been regretting all the time, if my desire to survive could be lower, maybe I would have gone with my children.

I can live without Jiang Cheng, but without children, I really don't even have the courage to live.

I wanted to go down to him, apologize to him, and beg him to forgive me.

However, Gu Ci did not give me this opportunity.

Perhaps he found out that I was suicidal, and he asked people to take away all the sharp things in the house, and even put inflatable air bags on the grass under the window.

Even I wanted to use a bed sheet for a hundred years, but I couldn't find a place to hang it.

"Who are you? The Li Ruoyao I know is not you at all, she is optimistic and strong, and she will not always think about committing suicide. Gu Ci looked me straight in the eye.

I laughed sarcastically and desperately, "Yes, Li Ruoyao would not have committed suicide before, but now Li Ruoyao, who has nothing, has no desire to live in this world." ”

I jerked my hand back from Gu Ci's hand, but looked at him seriously.

"Gu Ci, for the sake of me saving your life, you can give me a relief. I really couldn't take it anymore, it was too painful. I said bitterly, holding my head.

Gu Ci's face turned cold, "You were rescued by me, and you are not allowed to die without my permission." ”

"But I really can't take it anymore." I grabbed his arm and said desperately.

Gu Ci slowly broke my hand, "There is no blow in this world that people can't bear, if you really can't stand it, turn your grief and anger into strength." ”

"To put it lightly, I'm just an ordinary woman, longing for a love and a child, why do you want to crush even my simple extravagant hopes?"

"It's not me or you who shatters your hope, it's the Jiang family, and your enemy is the Jiang family."

"My enemy is the Jiang family?", I muttered to myself.

"If the Jiang family agreed to save you, your child would not have died, so it was not you who really killed the child, it was the Jiang family." Gu Ci said sharply.

yes, I remembered.

All this is the fault of the Jiang family, it was Jiang's mother who didn't agree to save me, so Chen Feng wanted to kill me in a frenzy.

If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have fought back, maybe the child would still be alive and well.

And Jiang Cheng, he didn't show up until I was buried in the fire, he broke our oath, betrayed me and my children.

I will not let him go, nor will I let go of anyone in the Jiang family.

"Get up." Gu Ci's voice was very soft, and there was a gentleness in it that had never been before.

I grabbed him by the arm and got up from the ground, and let him pull me to the bed and lie down.

"You go to sleep first, and then talk about anything when you wake up." Gu Ci helped me cover the quilt and said.

I hadn't slept for several days, and after venting just now, my body was tired.

I nodded slightly, and slowly closed my eyes.

For the first time, I slept for a day and a night, and the child did not appear in my dreams.

I was disappointed and relieved at the same time, and even in my dreams, I still didn't know how to face this child.

I woke up and soon found out, and within a few minutes came to my room and stood by the bed looking at me.

"You're in good spirits right now."

I couldn't laugh, but I tried to pull a smile anyway, "Thank you." ”

"You don't have to force a smile, ugly." Gu Ci said unceremoniously.

I hid my smile and said with apprehension, "Where is my child buried?" ”

Gu Ci looked vigilant, "What do you want to do when you ask this?" ”

With bitterness in my mouth, I said, "I want to go and see him, and I haven't had time to see him since he left this world." ”

"I can take you there, but only when you're well." Gu Ci said in a deep voice.

"My body is already healed, you see I don't have anything right now." I said hurriedly.

"It's not enough." Gu Ci interrupted me, turned his head to look at the servant on the side, and said, "Bring me the food." ”

"I can't eat, please let me see my child first." I begged bitterly.

Gu Ci was unmoved, "You haven't eaten since you woke up, you rely on nutritional injections, if you don't eat now, your body will collapse sooner or later." ”

I just wanted to say that I didn't care, but looking at Gu Ci's face that couldn't be refused, I finally swallowed this sentence back into my stomach.

After a while, the maid came over with a bowl of steaming porridge, plus two side dishes.

Gu Ci picked it up and scooped it with a spoon, and then wanted to feed it to me.

I twisted my head to the side, "I'll do it myself." ”

"I'll come, you're not in good health."

"I'll do it myself." I stubbornly said, "Otherwise, I won't eat." ”

Gu Ci handed me the bowl helplessly, and said with a hint of pampering: "It's really a defeat for you." ”

I only felt that Gu Ci's attitude towards me was a little strange, but at this time my attention was all focused on the porridge and I didn't think about it.

Originally, I was not hungry, but when I smelled the fragrant porridge, I felt uncontrollably hungry in my stomach.

I didn't care about thirty-seven twenty-one, and drank porridge in a big gulp.

In a few minutes, I drank a small bowl of porridge, but the hunger pang in my stomach still reminded me that it was not enough.

"Anything else?" I looked at Gu Ci and whispered.

"Yes." Gu Ci smiled and snapped his fingers, and the maid quickly brought the porridge again.

I also finished eating it quickly, and when I wanted to eat a third bowl, I was stopped by Gu Ci.

"You're just starting to get back to eating, and if you can't eat so much, your body won't be able to take it."

Hearing this, I dismissed this thought and asked him instead, "I've finished eating, can you take me there now?" ”

"You change your clothes first, and I'll take you there later. By the way, the clothes are in the cloakroom, you can wear them however you want. ”

After Gu Ci and the servants left, I went to the cloakroom.

This is the first time I've been here, and it's full of brand-name clothes, bags, and shoes of all styles, and they all have tags, and they look brand new.

I casually took out a black dress and put it on, and couldn't wait to find Gu Ci.