Yu Chi knew that she was determined to leave, and he also knew that he couldn't keep her at all.

He hadn't thought of keeping her, the only request was-

"Leave after eating, you didn't eat last night."

He thought that she must not be in the mood to eat because she was so uncomfortable yesterday.

She always seems to be like this, when she is in a bad mood, she likes to embarrass her body.

Either skip meals or self-harm and self-abuse.

It stands to reason that they who study medicine should not value their own lives.

"Let go." Cheng Rao's jaw was pinched by him, and her tone was colder than before.

Wei Chi took a breath, and after she reminded him, he realized that the force in his hand was too great.

It must have hurt her. Yu Chi hurriedly let go, looked at the finger marks on her chin, and choked.

"Does it hurt? I'm sorry, I didn't control it, don't be angry......"

He was a little at a loss.

However, Cheng Rao's words did not receive a response.

She didn't even look at him and got out of bed.

When she got out of bed, her legs were still very weak, and Cheng Rao almost fell to her knees.

She had been doing it for too long last night, her back was sore, her legs were weak, her knees were unconsciously leaning forward, and she felt like she was going to kneel down when she took a step.

Cheng Rao held on to the wardrobe.

She bent down, picked up the clothes from the ground, and put them on her.

I didn't have time to wash, Yu Chi should have wiped her body last night, so it wouldn't be too dirty.

When Cheng Rao was wearing pants, she suddenly reacted-

The two times he was in the living room last night, he didn't do anything.

Thinking of this, Cheng Rao's face suddenly became ugly.

She sped up to put on her pants and limped out.

Seeing that she was suddenly in such a hurry, Wei Chi immediately followed and grabbed her wrist: "What's wrong with you?" ”

"You didn't wear a condom last night." Cheng Rao moved her lips, "I hate you." ”

Yu Chi: "......"

The first two times he did it in the living room last night, the set was in the bedroom, where could he remember that situation?

In fact, he usually pays attention to it, but he was teased by her last night, so he forgot about it.

Wei Chi gritted his teeth and said, "I didn't get inside, so it should be fine." ”

"Huh." Cheng Rao sneered, "Those who are unexpectedly pregnant think so. ”

Yu Chi: "...... So what do you say? ”

Cheng Rao: "Yuting." ”

Yu Chi: "...... I got it, I'm going to buy it now. ”

He let go of her, "You wash up first, I'll buy breakfast back by the way, and you can leave after eating." ”

Cheng Rao didn't refuse him again this time, she glanced at him, turned around and went into the bathroom.

Wei Chi looked at her back, scratched his head, and then went outside to wash.

After washing his face and brushing his teeth, he went out.

**

Cheng Rao locked herself in the bathroom, and after she came in, she found that the things she used before were all there.

Toothbrush, tooth cup, facial cleanser, towel, shampoo shower gel......

Even sanitary napkins sit quietly in place.

Looking at this familiar and unfamiliar place, Cheng Rao's brain was buzzing.

She stood in front of the mirror for a long time, and did not continue to move on to the next step for a long time.

She lifted her hand to unbutton it, her chest covered in tooth marks, which were enough to prove how crazy the two of them were last night.

Cheng Rao closed her eyes and recalled those scenes, and grabbed the edge of the washbasin with one hand.

She turned on the faucet, turned the water to the lowest temperature, and began to wash her face.

After washing her face and brushing her teeth, Cheng Rao went downstairs.

Her legs were still weak when she walked, so she held on to the handrail of the stairs all the way.

………

After going downstairs, Wei Chi just came back from buying breakfast and medicine.

She walked up to Yu Chi and took the medicine from him without saying a word.

When Cheng Rao was about to eat, Wei Chi grabbed her arm.

Cheng Rao showed an impatient expression and raised her eyes to look at him coldly.

"I just asked, and the doctor said it's best not to eat on an empty stomach, you should eat something first." Wei Chi shook the paper bag in his hand, "I bought the steamed bun at the door." ”

As he spoke, Yu Chi took out a bun from the bag and handed it to Cheng Rao, Cheng Rao looked down at the bun in his hand, and then looked at his expression...... Inexplicably irritable.

"If you don't want to take it, give me the medicine." She refused very simply.

Wei Chi said patiently: "Eat some, it's not good to take medicine on an empty stomach, you should know if you study medicine." ”

Speaking of this, Wei Chi directly sent the bun to her mouth, "I can feed you." ”

When she didn't eat before, he fed her, and it had become a habit for Wei Chi to do this.

"I said I wouldn't eat it." Cheng Rao couldn't stand him like this, so she raised her hand and slapped his hand away.

Her strength was not small, and her movements were sudden, and this time, she immediately hit a bun in Wei Chi's hand to the floor and rolled far away.

Wei Chi lowered his head and stared at the bun for a long time, but he didn't speak.

Cheng Rao pinched her palm when she saw him like this.

"Give me the medicine." She repeated what she had just said.

This time, Wei Chi didn't want to say anything more.

He handed her the medicine, and his voice was hoarse that couldn't be hidden: "Remember to read the instructions." ”

At this point, he paused, "I'll go pour you water." ”

Without waiting for Cheng Rao to respond, Wei Chi went to the kitchen to pour water.

Cheng Rao held the medicine, looked at his back, and tears fell silently.

Meeting again like this will only add to the pain.

She didn't want to entangle with him anymore, it was really boring.

Thinking of what had just happened, Cheng Rao's hand tightened suddenly, and the box had been crumpled by her.

She was in a daze, and Wei Chi had already come out with a glass of water.

Yu Chi was afraid that Cheng Rao would knock over the water, so he put the water directly on the coffee table, "You take medicine." ”

Cheng Rao read the instructions, picked out the medicine, stuffed it into her mouth, and then went to take the medicine.

After taking the medicine, she put down the glass of water and turned to change her shoes.

"Really skipping meals?" Wei Chi couldn't help it, and asked the previous question again.

Hearing his words, Cheng Rao's action of changing shoes stiffened.

But it was only for a second, and then it was back to nature.

She didn't answer Wei Chi's question.

She believed that he should have the answer in his heart.

Without waiting for Cheng Rao's response, Wei Chi smiled self-deprecatingly, "Okay, then you can go out and remember to eat later." ”

Cheng Rao didn't speak, bent down and tied her shoes.

Yu Chi originally wanted to send her, but after thinking about it, how could Cheng Rao let him send it?

He is humiliating himself by making such a request.

In exchange, she used a more ruthless knife.

Cheng Rao changed her shoes, walked to the sofa and picked up her canvas satchel.

She squeezed her bag and said to him: "No matter what happens to me in the future, it has nothing to do with you, you can ignore other people's calls, I don't want to see you again." ”

"You hate me so much?" Yu Chi asked her.

"Yes." Cheng Rao's response was categorical. Later, she also asked again: "Why do you ask me to like a strong and traitorous man?" ”

Yu Chi: "......"

He was almost driven crazy by her, but in the face of her words, he couldn't find any reason to refute it.

She was right, she was ...... And he did.

Wei Chi couldn't speak, and Cheng Rao didn't say much to him, opened the door with his bag, turned around and left.

After the door closed, Wei Chi raised his hand to cover his eyes, feeling weak.

**

Cheng Rao tensed her body all the way to the door of the community.

After stopping, she crouched on the side of the road, gasping for air.

After calming down for a while, she took out her phone and called a car.

After getting in the car, Cheng Rao reported the address of her home and never spoke again.

On the way, she got motion sickness, dizziness and retching, I don't know if it was because she drank too much last night, or because she reacted to the medicine on an empty stomach.

As soon as she entered the house, Cheng Rao went to vomit and vomited in the bathroom.

Huang Ping looked worried when she saw Cheng Rao like this.

She stood at the door of the bathroom and waited for Cheng Rao to finish vomiting, and then spoke: "Hurry up and eat something, Auntie cooked porridge in the morning." ”

Cheng Rao had just finished vomiting, her face was a little white at this time, and her eyes were slightly red.

Hearing Huang Ping say this, Cheng Rao reluctantly nodded at her.

"I'll hold you." Huang Ping hugged Cheng Rao's arm.

The moment Huang Ping put her hand up, Cheng Rao suddenly felt that she was really unfilial.

She is twenty-six years old this year, and she is still letting her mother worry about her.

As soon as Cheng Rao sat down, her aunt brought porridge to her.

"Drink some porridge to warm your stomach, and I'll make you something for lunch that is easy to digest."

Cheng Rao let out a soft "um", and then picked up the spoon.

Huang Ping sat opposite Cheng Rao and watched her drink porridge, and then breathed a sigh of relief.

Then, he said to her, "I have already driven back." ”

Cheng Rao was stunned for a moment, then nodded: "Hmm." ”

She bowed her head and continued to drink porridge.

Cheng Rao's clothes were very wide, and when she lowered her head, Huang Ping saw the kiss marks on her chest.

They are all people who have come over, and she knows better than anyone how those traces were left.

She could already imagine what had happened between her and Yu Chi last night.

Huang Ping sighed in her heart, wanting to ask her, but she couldn't speak.

Cheng Rao finished eating, it was already ten o'clock.

Huang Ping glanced at her watch and said to her: "I'll go to work first, contact me at any time if you have anything, you can rest at home for a day today, don't go anywhere." ”

Cheng Rao said "um", "You go get busy." ”

**

After Huang Ping went to work, Cheng Rao went back to the upstairs room to take a shower.

While taking a shower, she saw the marks on her body again.

Not only on his chest, but also on his thighs and calves.

All traces are proof of her betrayal.

Cheng Rao closed her eyes and stood under the shower, with indescribable despair.

She originally wanted to go to the temple to see Xiao Ye today, but with this trace, where did she still have the face to see him?

After taking a bath, Cheng Rao didn't blow her hair, she went directly to the bed, buried her face in the sheets, closed her eyes, and fell asleep deeply.

**

For the next three days, Cheng Rao didn't go out.

She nestled at home, went to bed after eating, and then woke up to eat again.

Traces on his body are fading at a rate visible to the naked eye.

After three days, it was almost gone.

After these traces disappeared, Cheng Rao set off for the temple.

Do the math, it's been a long time since I've been there.

Before, she knew that Xiao Ye was still alive, so she no longer regarded that piece of spirit card as spiritual sustenance.

But now, after going around in circles, her life is back to the way it was.

No, no, to be precise, more painful than before.

Cheng Rao came to the temple wearing a black outfit.

Today, the weather in Los Angeles is cloudy, and it is dripping with light rain.

After getting out of the car, Cheng Rao gathered the clothes on her body, but she didn't have an umbrella, and walked into the temple.

When a young monk saw her, he stepped forward and asked, "Who are you looking for, this benefactor?" ”

"There is no other presiding officer." Cheng Rao said.

"The host is chanting in the meditation room now, you may have to wait a while."

Cheng Rao nodded, "Please tell him, I'm in the old place." ”

The young monk asked her, "What do you call it?" ”

Cheng Rao reported her name.

"Okay, I'll tell you that."

After the communication, Cheng Rao turned around and walked towards the "old place".

After walking in, she saw Xiao Ye's spiritual position.

Cheng Rao took four sticks of incense from the box next to her and lit them, knelt on the mat, kowtowed, and put on the incense.

After it was over, she didn't get up, she just knelt.

Maybe it's because it's raining, and the temple is so quiet.

Cheng Rao knelt in the ancestral hall, only hearing the sound of the rain and the sound of chanting in the meditation room.

By the hour, the temple bells will ring.

Cheng Rao listened like this, and her heart was much calmer.

She thought it was a place where people could let go of their distractions.

It is difficult for him to host such a choice after going through so many things.

After getting rid of the distractions of the world, your mind will be much calmer, right?

Cheng Rao closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

The door to the ancestral hall was open, and I took a deep breath and could smell the dirt outside.

She hadn't smelled it in years.

The smell of earth penetrated into her nostrils, and she suddenly remembered that when she was a child, Cheng Lu often took her to play on the grass at the door.

In the morning, the grass is watered.

The watered grass tastes like this.

Thinking of Cheng Xun, Cheng Rao's eyes filled with tears.

"Daddy......" she moved her lips slightly, silently spitting out two words.

Just then, there was a sound of rustling footsteps outside.

Cheng Rao knelt on the ground and looked sideways, there was no other person to preside.

I haven't seen each other for more than a year, and it's still the same without him hosting.

He walked over to Cheng Rao and saluted her.

Cheng Rao got up from the ground, "Preside." ”

"You and I haven't seen each other in over a year." He smiled slightly, "I thought you had come out of the shadows of the past. ”

Cheng Rao pursed her lips tightly and didn't speak, and she didn't even know how to explain her experience to him for more than a year.

When the presiding officer saw her like this, he said, "I would like to hear you tell me all your troubles." ”

Cheng Rao said "um" softly.

Her brain raced, she organized the language for a while, and began to talk to him about what she had been through for more than a year.

Too many things have happened in the past year, and it is full of drama, and Cheng Rao herself feels incredible when she says it.

She spoke in a very low voice, but fortunately, no other host listened carefully and did not drop a word.

What has happened in the past year or so, it took Cheng Rao more than an hour to finish.

Her voice is lower than that of ordinary girls, and it is a little hoarse, mixed with the sound of rain outside, like a storyteller with vicissitudes of life.

He was a good listener and didn't interrupt her from beginning to end.

It wasn't until Cheng Rao finished speaking that he didn't speak without him.

"Those who don't cross by themselves, the Buddha doesn't cross."

Of course, Cheng Rao understood the meaning of this sentence.

If a person does not want to redeem himself, it is useless to let others pull him.

She was like this before.

But now, her state of mind is much calmer than before.

She is in pain, but she will no longer be as persistent in finding short-sightedness as before.

She began to realize the responsibility on her part -

In her life, Xiao Ye is not alone.

She also has a family.

"I see what you mean." Cheng Rao said, "I won't be the same as before." ”

"I was very similar to you when I was young, and I also thought about suicide when my wife died. ”

"If you are not greedy or stupid, all suffering will be solved, and all suffering is not suffering."

Speaking of this, he paused and looked at Cheng Rao: "Perhaps, you can come to be my disciple." ”

Of course, Cheng Rao understood what his words meant.

There are nuns on this side of the temple, although there are not many of them, but she has seen them before.

In fact, when she was kneeling here alone and thinking, she had already moved such thoughts.

She thought that if she did other work and stayed in the downtown area of Los Angeles, she would inevitably have to meet Wei Chi.

He's stalking now, and there's really nothing she can do.

But there's no way she's going to leave L.A. because of that.

I want to get rid of his entanglement and escape into the empty door...... Probably the most direct and effective way.

Moreover, she really did not think about falling in love and getting married again.

Cheng Rao thought for a minute or so, and then gave the answer: "Okay, Master." ”

He didn't expect her to reply so happily, so he asked her, "Have you figured it out?" Actually, you can give yourself some time to think about it. ”

Cheng Rao shook her head, "Don't think about it, I already had such an idea before you mentioned it." ”

"You're right, if you don't be greedy or stupid, there will be no suffering, the six roots are pure, and all problems will be solved."

"It's best if you have that kind of realization." He said, "Man, most of the suffering comes from bigotry and excess, so why can't we go cleanly, O man? Whether it is wealth or affection, it is something outside the body, and being too paranoid will only harm oneself. ”

If it had been before, Cheng Rao would definitely not have listened to such words.

However, when she experienced another loss, she suddenly felt that these words made sense.

Being paranoid will only harm yourself.

She nodded and said to him, "I'll be here in a few days." ”

"Don't worry, just come to me at any time when you make a decision."

**

Cheng Rao stayed in the temple for more than four hours, and it was not until three o'clock in the afternoon that she drove away.

The rain never stopped, and it was drowsy.

When Cheng Rao returned home, it was five o'clock, but it was almost dark.

Today is the weekend, and Huang Ping came back at five o'clock after working overtime in the company.

The mother and daughter met at the door, and Huang Ping asked Cheng Rao: "Are you back?" ”

Cheng Rao nodded, and the two of them entered the house one after the other.

Frequent flu breaks in the season, Huang Ping has a cold, and she keeps sneezing after entering the door.

After Cheng Rao heard her sneeze, she walked to the guest room on the first floor and took out the medicine box.

She took out a box of banlan root from it and said to Huang Ping: "Recently, I have had a flu, it will be better to drink some banlan root." ”

Listening to Cheng Rao's concern, Huang Ping smiled with relief.

She took the box of unopened banlangen from Cheng Rao's hand and nodded: "Okay, I'll drink it in a while." ”

………

At dinner in the evening, Cheng Rao and Huang Ping talked about their plans to become a monk.

Huang Ping was originally drinking ginger soup, but when she heard Cheng Rao say this, the spoon in her hand trembled.

“…… Have you figured it out? She asked Cheng Rao.

In fact, she wanted to oppose it, but after thinking about it, she had promised Cheng Rao that as long as she didn't go to MSF again, she could go anywhere.

At that time, she really didn't expect that Cheng Rao would think about becoming a monk......

Cheng Rao nodded, "Hmm." ”

"To Jingshan Temple?" Huang Ping asked.

Cheng Rao: "Hmm. ”

Before Cheng Rao bought a spiritual seat for Xiao Ye in Jingshan Temple, Huang Ping knew about it.

Cheng Rao would go over from time to time, she knew it.

"Have you asked for details? Can I come out again after I go in? If you want to go home—"

"It's okay, you can go over and see me usually." Cheng Rao knew what Huang Ping was worried about.

She has already asked these questions today.

As soon as Cheng Rao said this, Huang Ping knew that she had a clear understanding of the situation.

It seems that he is determined to go.

After going through so many things, Huang Ping no longer has any principles for Cheng Rao.

She thought that as long as she lived healthy and didn't do anything dangerous, she could accept the rest.

When Cheng Rao said that she would never get married in the future, she should have thought of this.

Huang Ping thought for a while, and then said to Cheng Rao: "Okay, when are you going to pass?" I'll give you a ride with you, Uncle Qiao, and Yao Yu. ”

"Just next week." Cheng Rao said, "There's nothing to clean up, just bring daily necessities over." ”

Huang Ping nodded, in response.

She took a sip of ginger soup, coughed, and then asked Cheng Rao again: "Where is Wei Chi...... You really don't think about it? ”

Reason told her that she shouldn't ask this question.

But thinking of Wei Chi's kindness to Cheng Rao, Huang Ping couldn't help but ask this question.

Hearing Huang Ping mention Wei Chi, Cheng Rao's face stiffened slightly.

She clenched the chopsticks in her hand.

"Don't think about it, I will only love Xiao Ye alone."

When she spoke again, her tone was firm.

After listening to Cheng Rao's answer, Huang Ping sighed lightly.

Having already received an answer, she is not going to persuade her anymore.

"Okay, then you can prepare something, and we'll send you over when the time comes."

Cheng Rao said "um" and said to her, "Thank you, Mom." ”

"Silly child," Huang Ping's eyes were hot, urging her: "Let's eat quickly." ”

**

The next day was Sunday, and Qiao Yaoyu came to the house in the evening.

As soon as he went to Rao's room, he saw Cheng Rao packing up his things.

Qiao Yaoyu wondered: "Are you going out to play again?" ”

Cheng Rao shook her head: "No." ”

Qiao Yaoyu: "Then what are you going to do?" ”

Cheng Rao said: "I went to Jingshan Temple and became a monk. ”

“……？？”

Qiao Yaoyu was so shocked that he couldn't speak, and his eyes were about to fall to the ground.

Monk? What are she kidding?!