I only saw the light in his eyes shining all the time, but I didn't answer.

We all knew he wouldn't.

He leaned forward slightly, his snort burning on my cheeks, with a faint fragrance.

In an instant, I wanted to kiss him. Keep it as a warm memento.

But I could only watch the warmth of the nearest place be chilled by the air, and I could not make my own decisions without receiving instructions, let alone go to his side.

He wanted to take me home, but I refused. Took a taxi and left the bar.

Watching him stand in the wind and watch me go away, his face full of helplessness and distress.

Reaching out to touch his face, he was pierced by the cold glass.

This is the distance between us, we can see each other from afar, but we can never hug each other.

Instead of going home directly, I went to Bauhinia Park, soothed my mood, and then slowly shook it back.

When I arrived at the door, I saw that it was dark and thought that my aunt had gone out. Stepping in, the cold white light suddenly lit up, startling me.

Wearing a burgundy tulle nightgown, my aunt was drinking on the sofa in the living room, her cheeks were faintly flushed with drunkenness, like a rose blooming silently.

Stepping over and trying to persuade her to go back to rest, she suddenly said, "Come with me tomorrow to see my mother!" ”

Frightened, he paused and didn't move.

"Ah Zi, in fact, my aunt has forgiven you, but, I just can't forgive her."

My aunt's eyes were glazed, staring straight at a plum blossom in the corner of the window outside the window, which was my grandmother's favorite flower, and it was planted by my aunt as a birthday gift for my grandmother.

Since my grandmother left, my aunt didn't care about it anymore. But because of guilt, I raised it well. The pruning is uneven, and even the bare branches have a unique flavor.

"Obviously I am her daughter, why did she abandon me ruthlessly?"

I can't guess the purpose of my aunt's words, she knows that my grandmother's matter is the deepest hurt in my heart. But she uncovered my scars tonight, and I don't know if there was any deep meaning.

I was about to say a few words back to her, but she had already gotten up, said goodnight and went back to the room neatly, without giving me a chance to speak.

Unable to fall into the sofa, he picked up his aunt's wine glass and borrowed wine to drown his sorrows.

Strangely, the same spirits, this time, did not burn my stomach, but only made me more sober and clearly watched the wounds oozing blood.

The scabbed wound was torn again, and the pain was unbearable.

……

At about ten o'clock the next morning, we arrived at the entrance of the cemetery.

My aunt walked a little ahead of me, and I followed her with a bouquet of calla lilies.

Because no one came for a long time, my grandmother's grave was more chaotic than the others, and the weeds were overgrown.

My aunt asked me for a knife, knelt on the ground, and patiently weeded. And I stood by and watched her silently.

Questions always come to mind, but they can't open their mouths. I want to ask about the buried past, about the older generation, about the Huo Mu family.

Such doubts are like a fish in the throat, churning in my mind, I just don't know how to ask.

Except for the occasional raging rumor.

My aunt quietly touched the portrait of my grandmother, and I was not allowed to disturb the peace.

It wasn't until about three o'clock in the afternoon that my aunt finally got up and called me to leave.

But on the way back, none of us said a word. The aunt looked out the window quietly, thoughtful.

This is the first time I have seen my aunt so quiet.

She wasn't the reserved kind of person in the first place, and contemplation wasn't her preferred way to relax.

But today, she is so abnormal that I am a little flustered.

Several times she wanted to speak and stopped, until the aunt broke the silence.

"Ah Zi, do you really want to be with Huo Nanyi?"

"Auntie, I ......"

"Then go find him! I'm tired, fighting back and forth, it's not interesting, it's better to fulfill your love. ”

"Auntie, I will help you, as long as you are happy. I owe too much to the Mu family, and I will pay it back little by little. If the collapse of the Huo family is what my aunt wants, I will not be stingy with the so-called love. ”

I forced myself to show my loyalty indifferently, but my heart was crying.

Maybe what I really care about is not the so-called love, but his love. If that person wasn't him, I wouldn't feel anything if I gave up love.

After I spoke, silence fell in the car again.

My aunt looked at me, not knowing whether she admired my bravery or laughed at my embarrassing disguise.

Everything was just my guess, and she didn't speak again, even a few days later, and didn't take the initiative to bring up tonight's topic.

Numb yourself in busyness and deceive your heart with lies.

My grandfather was almost recovered, and he stubbornly clamored to come back, because it would soon be my birthday.

Helpless, my aunt could only go to the United States to pick him up in person. I have to take care of everything in the company.

I was going to come back the day before my birthday, but unfortunately, something happened there, and I might not even be able to make it for my birthday.

My aunt apologized again and again, saying that she was very sorry for me, and even my grandfather sighed that it was not easy for the family to reunite, but she couldn't celebrate my birthday.

But there is no wave in my heart, and birthday has always been synonymous with gloom for me.

Other people's birthdays are for celebration, but my birthday is a sad anniversary.

On the 28th, I was busy with work, and it was not until half past eight in the evening that I finally finished my work, cleaned up, drove away from the company, and went to the cemetery.

On birthdays, I used to spend them with my mother, no cake, no blessings, just simple companionship.

In the past, no matter whether the family would hold a banquet for me or not, I would come here to find her every time, and I would not say anything, just kowtow and say "You have worked hard".

But that feeling is fulfilling.

Sit at your mother's grave and wait for time to pass.

The phone in the bag rang suddenly, disturbing our time.

"Mu Zi, I'm back, I'm downstairs at your house now, can you come down to meet me?"

I was a little surprised to hear his voice, and I thought he would never come back, let alone take the initiative to look for me.

Without refusal, bowed, left the cemetery early.

When I got back to the door, I saw him standing straight by the door with a cake in his hand and a pot of flowers, motionless.

I got out of the car and walked over to him, I wanted to laugh at him for looking stupid, but I held back, I was afraid that we couldn't afford to make such a joke now.

"Happy Birthday!"

He handed me the bouquet and motioned for me to open the door and invite him in.

"When did you come back? Do you know I've moved? It is worthy of Lin Shao, who is very well-informed. ”

"Not only did I know you moved, but I also knew that you were separated from him again. Mu Zi, I'm coming back this time, and I don't plan to leave. ”

I was startled by these words, and the key in my hand almost fell to the ground without holding it steady.

I didn't want to hurt him, but I couldn't dissuade him.

Actually, I want to ask him what he likes about me? For people like me, there doesn't seem to be anything cute about it.

I opened the door and invited him in for tea.

He suddenly cheekily said that he wanted me to cook for him, and thanked me for helping me before.

Having said that, I can't say no. arranged for him to rest in the living room, so he went into the kitchen to cook, which was regarded as picking him up and washing the dust.

Because of what he just said, I was a little panicked, and I didn't pay attention to what he was doing in the living room.

until

"Hmm..."

Before I knew it, he had come to the kitchen and hugged me from behind.

"Mu Zi, it's good to have you here!"

Panicked and struggled, but couldn't break away from him.

"Lin Ziyu, you let go! Please don't embarrass each other! ”

But he still didn't let go, and pressed his chin against my neck.

Such an awkward intimacy made me very uncomfortable, and anger rose above my head, and I tried my best to finally break free of him.

"Snap", my hand slapped him in the face as if it were uncontrollable.

The air froze instantly, and I looked at my numb hand, and regretted hitting him.

"Mu Zi, does my embrace make you so annoying?" The corners of his mouth were raised to reveal a self-deprecating smile.

"No, it's not like that, I'm just, just ......"

Obviously, I could have gone back by telling a lie, but my chaotic heart wouldn't allow me to do that.

If lying will make him misunderstand and fall deeper and deeper, then I'd rather be embarrassed.

"Is it just because I'm not him?" grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me to look him in the eye, "Mu Zi, can't you forget him?" Forget the pain he gave you, forget the past. Stay with me, let yourself go, and give me a chance, okay? ”

I looked at him blankly, but I couldn't give him an answer, even if it was a tactful refusal, I couldn't open my mouth.

After a long silence, he let go of his hand and turned to leave.

went up, grabbed his hand, and pulled him out of the kitchen, "I'll give you medicine!" Otherwise, tomorrow it will be very swollen. ”

There was silence again, and he was silent, just staring at me all the time.

I said those things to myself, too. Forget about him, let each other go, and start a new life.

But when have I ever done it?

When I don't see him, I want to meet him. After seeing him, they were always entangled, saying things that hurt him, which made each other miserable.

If I could forget, why wouldn't I want to try?

rubbed the medicine on him and packed up the medicine box, but Lin Ziyu suddenly held my hand.

"Mu Zi, try it with me, okay? I know you're approaching him because of the Mu family. What you want, I can give it to you. I don't expect you to love me as much as you love him, as long as a corner of your heart belongs to me Lin Ziyu, it's enough. Mu Zi, be my girlfriend! ”

I was moved by the anticipation in his eyes, but I stubbornly didn't dare to agree to him.

I know that my biggest weakness is that I can't forget Huo Nanyi, and I am afraid that easy promises will bring more harm in exchange.

Gently take his hand away and look him in the eye, "So can you tell me, what exactly do you like about me?" We have known each other for a short time, but you are willing to give your life to save me. Can you tell me, what is the reason for this? I don't believe it, you fell in love at first sight with a woman of such a bad reputation as me. ”

"Just because you're you, the one who can touch my heart. Mu Zi, promise me! I want to bring you joy with my own hands and drive away your sorrows. ”