Shangguan Yan was opening the envelope, he took out the contents of the contents, and I was choked by the smoke from the candle so that I couldn't open my eyes, they were all quiet, I asked curiously, "What's in the envelope?" ”

Shangguan Yan didn't answer, Xia Xia said: "It's a bamboo butterfly, but it seems to be very old, and the bamboo flavor is dry and yellow - there are beads on the tentacles, and the color has faded, I thought it was a golden baby." “

"Show me it." I stretched out my hand, a bamboo butterfly, is it so light.

Xia Xia put the bamboo butterfly in my hand, I closed my eyes and stroked carefully, maybe for a long time, some things like to close my eyes and feel with my heart, this bamboo butterfly is just a palm size with its wings, the bamboo leaves have withered, it should be difficult to support the appearance of spreading wings, I leaned in front of my nose and smelled it, there is a slight scent of bamboo. There are indeed beads on the tentacles, the size of a little finger nail, and the beads are very slippery, and this slippery has nothing to do with the texture, but as if someone rubbed them for a long time. I counted them, and the number of beads on the two tentacles was different, six on one side and five on the other.

"Brother Shangguan, what is written in the letter?" Xia Xia asked.

Shangguan Yan said: "This letter should be the last part of the broken letter sent by Yan Cuo, the reason why he kept the last part may just want to use the content above to spur himself." ”

"Spur yourself on what?"

"Be patient and stick with what you do." Shangguan Yan's voice was a little sad.

I hurriedly said, "What exactly is written in the letter?" What did the letters precede this one say? ”

"Didn't Miss Song return those letters to you?"

I shook my head, feeling a little lost: "I haven't met her seriously, and I don't know what she's up to." ”

At this time, I heard Xia Xia's heartbeat on the side suddenly fast - did she have something to hide from me? About Song Lingjian?

Shangguan Yan said: "Those letters are smeared with the poison of rust, maybe Miss Song thinks that before the poison is gone, it is not suitable to hand it over to the girl." ”

I nodded, "Probably—tell me what the letter says." ”

Shangguan Yan said: "This letter, together with the previous five letters, is Ling Zun's memories of old things, if you haven't read the first few letters, this girl who has no head and no end may not understand it very well." ”

Zheng told me that this letter is connected to the previous five, but I still want to know what is said in this letter.

"It's okay, I just want to know, what's in it is so important, so important that Yan Cuo is so nervous and cares so much. I wanted to know a little bit more about him and a little bit more about my dad. ”

Shangguan Yan said gently: "Then I will miss the girl below." ”

I nervously tensed the nerves in my whole body, trying to hear every sentence and word of Shangguan Yan's thoughts clearly.

——

[After ten years, I actually met her here. Of course, she didn't know who I was, and if I hadn't remembered that sad face back then, I would only be a bland acquaintance now.

The first truly inseparable war between her and him back then was also for this woman. Indeed, as she said, he ruined a person's life.

If it weren't for the fact that he wanted to embrace power, he wouldn't have sacrificed the people around him again and again, this woman deserves better happiness. But her life was almost ruined, but she kept the promise she abandoned and lived strongly.

Since creation makes people meet in such a place, then everything can be restarted and the irretrievable loss can be corrected. I think she'll agree with me doing the same.

My daughter is not like her, like me.

I wanted my daughter to be like her, with a pointed face, snow-white skin, bright eyes and bright teeth, very beautiful. But she was very happy, she said that she liked her daughter to be like me, healthy, not too beautiful, since ancient times, beautiful women are not as happy as ordinary women.

Why did she say that? Isn't she happy?

At first, I always thought that she was nostalgic for her old life, fine clothes and food, glory and wealth, but I was wrong.

But even with such consequences, I never regretted any of the decisions I made, including the price of her life back.

All I have to do is see her, no matter what she looks like, it's a treasure to me.

It's still the same sentence, as long as it's for you, no matter what. It's just that I can't sleep in the middle of the night, always drinking hatred and regrets, and those past times are like knives, cutting every inch of my heart to complete. And in this life, I no longer have the face to hold the hand of my son, and I will grow old with my son.

The oath has been broken, and all it is hate.

If you don't go out again, it seems to be a punishment for me. But even from afar, all you see in your eyes is confusion and strangeness. That occasional smile or two, I know you still have me in your heart.

I can no longer face you, disturb your peace, and no longer give you the life I promised you, forever. May in your heart, I will still be the same as I was, never separated, never turned my back.

Everything will come to an end. I am always with you, doing my life's promise. 】

——

Shangguan Yan sighed lightly and softly.

The letter ended.

I was indeed in a fog, and there seemed to be several people in the letter, one of whom must have been my mother, but there seemed to be other people, perhaps mentioned in the previous letter, and if you don't read the previous letter, this end letter is really confusing.

But one thing I am sure of is my father's feelings for my mother.

He said that he has no shame to hold hands with his mother until he is old, he said, the oath has been betrayed is full of hatred, he said, he no longer has the courage to disturb the peace of his mother, he said, he hopes that in his mother's heart is still the same as before, we have never separated, never turned our backs, he will always be with us, forever and ever.

No wonder Zheng Jewel wanted me to find the five letters in front of me, and those five letters must have written a lot of records of my father's past, maybe there are really some traces of spiders and worms, and the reason for his disappearance can be found out-

I said softly: "Dad's friendship with his mother has never been gone, and he doesn't come back, just because he can't face his mother, but he can't bear it, so he always disguises himself as an uncle to come to see me, isn't it?" ”

I hadn't noticed or interpreted that staring gaze, and I didn't recognize my father, who I had been thinking about, had been so close to me.

Shangguan Yan said softly: "There is also a page attached to the letter, which should be Ling Zun's entrustment to Yan Cuo-do you want to listen?" ”

"To—to listen, what did Daddy say?"

"Yan is wrong, that is, I am dead, and I am written off. I owe you and I owe them. It doesn't matter if it's right or wrong. Spare them, and let yourself go. Become an ordinary person. ”

After a long while, Shangguan Yan didn't continue, and I asked, "What's next?" ”

"No, that's all there is to it."

There is only one sentence, Dad is wrong to Yan, only one sentence, I hope he doesn't hate us and becomes an ordinary person.

Is it just this sentence that makes Yan Cuo hate us even more? That's why he kept this letter with him for a long time, and he always reminded himself of the injustice of fate, and he wanted to take revenge on us, and the bamboo butterfly, what does it mean? It's like an ornament that only a woman can fiddle with, is it—fuck it?

Bamboo products –

By the way, Dad likes to weave some gadgets with bamboo leaves and bamboo branches, is it a gift from Dad to her mother?

Yan Cuo, what kind of life have you lived all these years, why is your hatred so strong, so strong that you can only hide your love for your mother in the bottom of your heart and surround yourself into a person full of spikes? How can I help you?

Shangguan Yan took a sip of tea, got up and said, "It's not too early, it's time to leave in the next place." ”

Xia Xia said: "Well, Brother Shangguan, I'll send you." ”

I also got up and wanted to send it, Shangguan Yan said: "Girl, stay here, I saw the girl's eyes reborn today, I believe that she will be able to recover soon, but she still needs to recuperate." ”

I was also a little tired, so I sat back and said, "Then, I won't send it, Lord Shangguan will walk slowly." ”

Shangguan Yan and Xia Xia walked out, I had mixed feelings in my heart, holding the envelope that had been packed in my hand, as if I was carrying a teenager's full of resentment, very heavy and sharp.

Xia Xia should have sent Shangguan Yan to the outside of the courtyard, and with the wind blowing from the alley, I heard her faint voice say, "Brother Shangguan, am I wrong?" ”

Shangguan Yan said: "It is difficult to verify whether it is wrong or wrong, as long as your starting point is right and your heart is good, you can be worthy of others." ”

Xia Xia didn't speak again.

Some of the current emotions are ridiculous, unwilling, impulsive, thinking that only winning can make themselves proud, but in another year, in another ten years, those things we once calculated have turned into clouds, those bitter words and the other party's painful expressions, but forever become the regret in our hearts, and finally we understand that what we have worked so hard to get is useless to us, but the people who have lost because of those childish disputes are lost forever.

I wanted to wait for Xia Xia to come back and ask her to quietly return the envelope to Yan Cuo, but Xia Xia didn't come back for a long time, and it is estimated that she has a lot to say with Shangguan Yan, these two have not known each other for a long time, but they are already very close, although Xia Xia is a warm and cheerful child, but because of previous experiences, she will be much more wary of people than ordinary people, and it is not so easy to be intimate.

I carefully poured out the bamboo butterfly again, and carefully touched the creases of the bamboo leaves on it, the creases were uneven, some dense, some sparse, and indeed not very delicate as Xia Xia said - Dad's craftsmanship has always been very good, how could he make such a butterfly?

One day's past in Zhengfu, I was exhausted when I heard it, and it seemed that I had also gone back and forth in those twenty years of grievances and hatred, because I couldn't love, it would make people unrecognizable, because I couldn't ask for it, it would make my heart numb and ruthless, isn't love a beautiful force? Why use hate?

I tiredly fell into a state of light sleep, vaguely as if repeating the past I heard today, as if I saw a large courtyard, the sun was shining, two girls were lying on the bamboo couch, there was a girl ring holding an umbrella and waving a fan for them, they didn't know what they were talking about, chatting very happily, often looking at each other and laughing, one smiled very emotionally, the pear vortex on his face, so sweet that it was about to melt, and the other was pursed and smiled, shaking his shoulders lightly to maintain an elegant and dignified appearance.