"All I can think of is my mother's pretending nonchalant smile, do you know how horrible that expression is to me? I'd rather she cry and hate, she had that qualification, but she never complained, she always smiled at the corners of her mouth and said to me it was okay! How many times, how many times after he saw you come back, she knelt on the ground and begged him, begged him not to come back, begged him to give up on us and return to you, but for this ridiculous responsibility, for this family that he felt was a mistake at all, he still couldn't come up with a result, why did he have someone else in his heart, and he still had to come back to torture us? Why is there a Yan Fei in this world, and there is a Yan mistake? Why? Why?! "It's the first time I've heard Yan Cuo speak with so much trembling, he and his mother are just a room away, and his mother is quietly dying, and he doesn't know it, maybe more than that, he hates himself.

These resentments had accumulated in Yan Cuo's heart, and they had become a curse at all.

"The most unqualified person in the world is you, how can you understand the pain of others all the time in the greenhouse?! I hate you so much for these tears that you have not suffered at all, but you still have to be hypocritical. Yan Cuo said viciously.

I wiped away my tears, I didn't dare to cry anymore, and the tears still fell uncontrollably......

Yan Cuo gasped fiercely, suddenly slammed his fist on the alley wall, turned around and ran away.

Ye Xin, why did you commit suicide? What exactly is written in that letter that will make you suddenly let go of all the burdens you are willing to endure and prefer to die? And why does Yan Cuo blame us for the fault? What is written about us in the letter?

I looked at the place where Yan Cuo's fist smashed against the alley wall, which had cracked and slightly concave, and there were reddish blood stains on the cracks......

On this day, since early in the morning, a lot of things have really happened, although they are just calmly telling many previous things, but it is enough to subvert my thoughts, I am very tired, so tired that I can't even cry anymore.

I went back to the courtyard, and I didn't bother to hide and make excuses, if I met Xia Xia, I told her the truth-

But Xia Xia was not in the yard, maybe something went away, I went straight back to the room, the room was still warm and quiet, I took off my clothes that had been blown cold by the wind, fell into bed and fell asleep.

I want to see my father again, see Ye Xin, and say sorry to them from the far distance of the dream.

As a result, I really dreamed of my father, but there was no Ye Xin in the dream, but another woman.

——

"Daddy, where are you going?"

"Fei'er sits obediently, Daddy helps the little brother dig out the small pond, and there will be fish to watch in the future."

Father! I tried to find that kind face.

"Can't I go along? I want to help Daddy wipe his sweat - Daddy, Fei'er will help you wipe your sweat. "Xiao Yanfei in the dream is only five or six years old, still white and round, born and raised well, and there is no pathology at all.

"Fei'er is so good, but the mud is too dirty, and it will stain the clothes." The man picked her up, as if he was afraid that the mud on the ground would stain her shoes.

Xiao Yanfei smiled and hugged his father's neck, and his little hand naughtily touched his slightly long stubble cheek.

A woman suddenly appeared behind her father, quickly picked up Xiao Yanfei, and said with a smile: "Brother Yan, you are really, Fei'er is a girl, why do you always carry it on your back like this, what does it look like, come down quickly - Fei'er is good, aunt hug!" ”

At this moment, Xiao Yanfei and I were one, I looked up angrily, trying to see this woman's face clearly, but I only saw her snow-white neck and shins, pointed and unfavorable chin, and a faint small mole at the base of her neck.

"Hehe, I'm used to pulling, Fei'er likes it anyway, right? Our father and daughter cannot be separated for a moment. "Dad shook my little hand, his hand was so warm.

I tried to hold his hand tightly and not let him leave me—but my father let go of my hand and bent down to pick up the house on the ground to leave.

The woman stepped forward and stopped: "Brother Yan, it's almost the Mid-Autumn Festival, it's better to save some effort and do it after the festival, anyway, these things are not in a hurry, I am grateful for letting Bo'er be willful like this, but I can't always tire you." ”

Dad smiled, turned his head to look into the distance, there was a weak figure in the distance, as if it was a child, turned back again, while stroking my braids, while chatting with the woman: "What is tired, Bo'er has never asked for anything, it's rare that he likes to raise some fish, and it is difficult for me to get a small pond——" At this time, he suddenly approached, hugged me back, put me on his back, bowed his head and attached it to the woman's ear and said, "Have you thought about the things I discussed with you that day?" ”

At this time, I was on my father's back, and I couldn't see the woman's face clearly, only the top of her black head, and the long braid that was braided sideways over her shoulders.

The woman turned her head to look at the child in the distance, lowered her head and lowered her voice even more: "Brother Yan, it's better to ask Bo'er and Fei'er for their opinions first, as well as Sister-in-law Yan-"

Dad Zhengse said: "Since ancient marriages, the fate of the parents, the words of the matchmaker, asking what to do, they are still young, and they are not happy to find them a companion - unless you are disgusted with us, you can't let you live a good life-"

The woman stomped her feet, anxious but still so gentle: "What is the matter! Brother Yan has to use his words to provoke, but, it's just that this is a lifetime thing, so you can't be so hasty......"

I lay on my father's shoulder and saw the petals that had been stepped on by the woman fluttering softly, broken and soft.

Dad seemed to be very satisfied with the idea he put forward, and said: "What is sloppy or not, as long as you and I are sincere, the children will understand, they will thank us when they grow up, and besides, they are already in a bad situation now." I think she'll get the idea, too. ”

The woman was still a little uneasy and asked, "Sister-in-law Yan, how has she been these days?" Is there a good point? ”

Dad's heartbeat suddenly slowed down: "It's all like that, and I'm used to it." I don't want to put this matter off any longer, I will never be able to wait for the real answer if I continue to wait like this, and I will never have other thoughts while the children are still young. ”

The woman was silent for a long time, and then smiled, and her soft voice was very beautiful: "Then, just listen to Brother Yan." ”

Dad was very happy, Dad was very happy, I don't know how long I haven't seen his happy smile again, this smile touches me and makes my heart ache.

Dad reached out and patted the woman's shoulder and said, "This is my good girl!" ”

The woman smiled, reached out and hugged me back again, shaking me gently, as if how affectionate she was: "My good Fei'er, do you like your aunt and brother?" ”

I stared at the pale white scar on the back of her hand, I knew that this woman was the widow of Xipo, and she was definitely not Ye Xin-

Did Dad really make an appointment with her to elope, and then fell off the cliff in an accident and met Ye Xin later?

And where did the widow and her children go?

I heard Xiao Yanfei reply, "I like it." ”

The woman smiled: "That's good, that's good." When Fei'er grows up, she will like her aunt and brother just as much. ”

Xiao Yanfei made a serious promise and said, "Fei'er will always like her aunt and brother." ”

Dad was very happy, took my little hand and said to the woman: "I've thought about it, anyway, it's the Mid-Autumn Festival in a few days, let's settle it that day, good things come in pairs, do you say okay?" ”

The woman said coquettishly: "I've listened to Brother Yan, why do you still want to ask me?" Roseau! ”

Squeaky teeth –

Light dream, was knocked on the door by a faint door.

Who opened the door and came in? Or who closed the door and went out?

"Who? Nightshade? "I didn't dare to open my eyes, for fear it would be the sound of the night.

No one answered me.

The sound of the night in and out of the room, it seems that there is never a sound of the door, who is not the sound of the night? Xia Xia?

I stood up and shouted, "Xia Xia-Xia Xia-"

"Hey~......" Xia Xia's voice was far away, as if she was in the backyard of the kitchen, and she ran over, "Sister Fei wake up?" ”

Xia Xia is in the backyard, so it can't be Xia Xia - I asked strangely, "Did someone come to my room just now?" ”

"Oh? No, I didn't see anyone coming. Xia Xia had already entered the room and looked around.

"What about Han Sanxiao and Song Lingjian?" How long did I sleep? Did they come back?

"After Sister Fei slept, Brother Zhu suddenly came to look for her in a panic, and they went out in a hurry, and they haven't come back yet." Xia Xia replied.

I feigned curiosity and asked, "What can the pillars do to find them?" ”

"I don't know, anyway, it seems that I'm in a hurry, they are all gone, and it's too late to stop." Xia Xia looked carefully into my eyes.

I frowned, thinking back to the light dream I had just had. Dad, I know where you've been and what kind of life you've lived in the past 16 years, but why did you fall off a cliff? Do you really have a covenant with the widow to run by night? This layer by layer is almost suffocating me, who can tell me everything at once?