Do you only say sorry when you lose it?

Is it only when you lose it that you feel regretful?

Is it only when you lose it, you will be reluctant

My surname is Shi, my name is Shi Wenxuan, I am an ordinary junior high school student, I think I am still a little handsome, 178 cm tall, not very tall, but in fact, I am also very satisfied.

Actually, I'm pretty ordinary, but recently something very bad happened to me and my family - I was in a car accident and died after no resuscitation.

But I don't understand what is going on with me at this time.

At this time, I was floating above my body, looking at my "body" below, there was a pool of piercing blood under me, books scattered all over the ground next to my "body", and next to a bicycle that had been knocked out of shape and a white BMW with a somewhat dented front cover.

I sat in the air and tilted my head to think about it, remembering what had happened before, I was passing through this intersection on the way from school, and I was hit by a speeding car, and the car ran a red light.

I looked at my body with my head down, and then suddenly I went crazy and threw myself over and over again, trying to get back into my body.

No matter how hard I tried, I failed, and I didn't stop until the ambulance and police car drove up.

A few men in white coats hurriedly lifted my body to the car and drove me to the hospital, and I quickly followed, I wanted to know if I could still be saved.

I followed my body all the way into the operating room, watching the doctor nervously do first aid for me, heart compressions, cardiac injections, electric shocks, but the electrocardiogram next to me still announced the fact that I had died, and suddenly I felt blocked and sad.

I began to panic when I looked at my body, which was covered with a white cloth, and at my parents, who had arrived in a hurry, because they had heard the news of my death.

I'm still so young, I haven't taken the college entrance examination yet, I haven't fallen in love once, I haven't confessed to the girl I've always liked, I haven't repaid my parents well, I still have a lot of things I haven't done, how can I just die?

However, this fact could not be changed, and I could only watch as my grief-stricken parents watched as the doctor pushed my "body" to the morgue.

I followed them home, and looked at my parents as if they were more than ten years old, and suddenly they were clumsy, and there were many gray hair and sideburns.

There has never been such a moment when I hated myself so much, let them work for me before I was alive, and make them so sad after I died. I regret that I didn't do anything for them except to make them angry, but to make them angry.

When I got home, I watched my parents call their relatives and friends one by one to tell them about my death, and looking at the tears in the corners of their eyes, I thought that this was a dream, and when I woke up tomorrow, I could see that I was still alive and well, so I would tell my parents that I loved them.

But, I really hate this, but, these are unrealistic, dead, just dead, this is a very helpless fact.

At this time, I didn't even have the power to reach out and help them wipe the tears from the corners of their eyes.

I hate!!

I hate that driver who ran a red light!! It was he who caused me to lose my life and separated me from my family.

There was a resentment in my body, and at that moment, I felt as if something had changed in me.

The next day, all my relatives and friends came, and they were all comforting my heartbroken mother, and I was there for her, but I couldn't touch her, and it was really uncomfortable for me.

It is said that men don't flick when they have tears, but it's not time to be sad, well, at this time I'm already sad, but I can't cry.

All day, I sat on the sofa at home, watching people come and go, real and fake, sad and crying, and I felt like watching a movie, but the main character of the movie was myself.

No one could see me, they looked through me at the thing or the person across from me, and no one could touch me, they would pass through my body or sit directly on the couch I was sitting on.

It's a really uncomfortable feeling.

My parents called my homeroom teacher to tell me about my death, and my classmates came, including her, the girl I had a crush on.

When she learned of my death, she seemed very sad and kept wiping her tears, farewell, my beloved girl, you never knew that there was a boy who liked you like that way.

In the afternoon, the funeral home people came, and they pulled my "body" to the crematorium, and I knew that this would be the last time I saw my body.

I followed behind, watching my "body" being slowly pushed into the huge incinerator, the blazing fire engulfing my "body" at once, and I stood outside the furnace, silently saying goodbye to my body.

My mother put the cremated ashes of my "body" in a small wooden box, held them in her arms, and stroked them over and over again, just like when I was a child, caressing my head.

On this day, I often think about what happened when I was a child.

When I was a child, I was a picky eater and didn't like to eat, and my mother always tried her best to make food for me, and I was always dissatisfied with opening her hand.

When I was a child, I was always playful, I would get my clothes dirty every day, I would always eat without washing my hands when I came home, my mother would always chase me and wipe my hands and face with a towel, but I would always say that she was annoying.

When I was a child, I liked to watch TV, and I always slept late to watch TV, and my mother often grabbed the remote control with me in order to prevent me from seeing my eyes badly, but I always cried and scolded her.

………………

Now, I can only sit next to her in silence, watching her wipe the dustless urn over and over again, babbling about my childhood.

I wish I could turn back time, in that case, I would definitely eat well, I would not be a picky eater, I would definitely wash my hands properly when I got home, I would not stain my clothes again, I would not cry with her because I watched TV, I would never make her sad again, I would not ......

At that moment, I really hated that I had died like this, I used to feel that I still had a lot of time and had never done anything for my parents, but now, no matter what I wanted to do, I couldn't do it.

At that moment, I hated the man who drove me to death.

The driver's family also came, but they didn't have any repentance for what their family had done.

They came because they wanted to be private.

However, my parents did not agree, although the family offered a very high compensation, so high that my relatives and friends were so blushing that they persuaded my parents to agree.

But what's the use of a high compensation? After all, it can't make me come back to life.