I scratched my head and said shyly, "What? Am I wrong again? Not the equinox of the vernal equinox, oh? ”

Shangguan Yan said with a smile: "Almost-okay, knowing that Zhu Jing is now settled in the embroidery village, I will be relieved, and I will go back and have an explanation with my uncles." I'm sorry to visit late at night to disturb the girl's rest, I wanted to see Yan Cuo's injury, and it was inconvenient in the middle of the night, so I'll talk about it next time. "After saying that, I have straightened my clothes, and I already mean to leave.

Although it was indeed very late at night, I was still a little reluctant, and said, "No—it's okay, anyway, I like to be lively, and I panicked when I passed by with an extra room, and many people felt safe." ”

Shangguan Yan tightened his collar and smiled: "I didn't think you were timid before, and I didn't say a word of fear when I came to Huayuan alone several times." ”

My face was burning like it was on fire, but fortunately the lights were dim and I couldn't see clearly, I felt happy in my heart, he seemed to remember a lot of things when I was a child, I liked myself when I was a child, brave, cheerful, and fearless. But I only left those dream images, the pale Yunbo and the heavy makeup Yunqing will always appear together, terrifying and scary, I dare not recall: "Really...... I really don't remember exactly. ”

"At that time, you were still young, and it was normal to remember clearly, but I, since I remembered those things, some small fragments would jump out from time to time, my mother's, your father's, and yours." Shangguan Yan stared at me, with a smile in his eyes, the memory should be happy.

I looked down and smiled, involuntarily.

There was silence for a while.

Shangguan Yan dusted off his clothes and said, "Then, I'm leaving." ”

I was busy with the lantern under the eaves and said, "There is no light out of town, bring a lamp......

Shangguan Yan turned around, and his sleeves lit up slightly-

It turned out to be the cloth bag of moonlight egg jade in the sleeve pocket, and the cold white constant light revealed between the gaps was a little dazzling in the dimness, just as the girl was silently accompanying him through every inch of darkness and cold.

I looked at the lantern gloomily, and I thought that people have an inextinguishable moonlight, which is light and convenient, and I want this lantern that blows when the wind blows, and it is too heavy to carry, which is really too much.

Shangguan Yan put the cloth bag back, stepped forward and took the lantern in my hand and said, "The girl has a heart, I'll come." ”

I clumsily gave him the lantern, and he held it high, and when he saw me standing still, he laughed, "What? Do you borrow only lanterns and not fire? ”

"Oh...... Look at me...... "I'm stupid enough to light a candle."

The moment the lights came on, I saw the smile on Shangguan Yan's face, I don't know if it was deliberately disguised happiness or unintentionally showing calm, I felt an unprecedented peace and happiness, like no matter how the world changes, no matter how long I have the rest of my life, as long as I turn around, I can see this person, and it is enough to see him so calm and healthy.

Shangguan Yan's eyes were like water, and he said, "Thank you, girl." It's hard at night, so you don't have to send more, so rest early. ”

I nodded.

Shangguan Yan walked out, lonely lamp, lone shadow.

I stood under the eaves for a while, feeling out of breath, then I took a deep breath and walked briskly out of the courtyard.

The lone lamp had just turned around the alleyway, and I ran up, I couldn't tell the reason, I couldn't tell the emotion!

It was late at night, my clothes were heavy, and I didn't run a few steps before I felt very tired, and when I turned the alleyway, the lone lamp flickered not far away.

"Your Excellency!" I whispered.

Shangguan Yan didn't seem to hear it, and continued to walk forward slowly, he walked a little hesitantly, as if he was choosing the direction in which he wanted to continue going.

I kept running, but he seemed to be walking very slowly, and I was still some distance from him, as if I couldn't catch up with him in my life.

"Your Excellency!" I shouted again, and the night wind and my voice were blurred.

Shangguan Yan continued to walk, and instead of going to the west town gate, he walked to the east.

Won't he go back to the yamen? Where else do you want to go in the middle of the night?

My steps grew heavier and heavier, and after a short run I had exhausted myself, and I ran more and more slowly, unable to even walk briskly.

The alley turns to the street, there are lanterns under the eaves everywhere on the street, and some people will put a lantern on the doorstep, even if Shangguan Yan really walks on this street, the light is not obvious-

I stomped my foot, it was really useless, I obviously wanted to give him one more ride, but I didn't even catch up.

I squinted in the cold wind, hoping to see the moving lights somewhere, and the street without vendors was so wide that I didn't know where to look.

He didn't go to the west fast road, so he should still be in the town, where will he go?

A thought crossed my mind, but I wasn't sure, so I could only bet if I could meet him there.

I hurried to the toast building, crushing to my last hope.

When I was about to get to the door of the toast building, I suddenly stopped—

Because out of the corner of my eye, I seem to catch a glimpse of a candle in the alley very close—

I took a few steps back, looked at the alleyway, and breathed a sigh of relief......

Shangguan Yan carried the lantern, leaned against the alley wall and looked at the sky above the alley, not knowing what he was thinking.

"Your Excellency." I didn't expect to find his reason here in the middle of the night, and called straight up.

Shangguan Yan turned his head in confusion, and only then did I see his sad face, his eyes were red, and there were faint tears in the corners of his eyes.

My heart aches - what's wrong? Is it really as I thought, I came to Shangguan and had another quarrel? What's going on with this official ceremony?

Shangguan Yan embarrassedly put the lantern down, lowered his head and wiped his face, and said softly, "Why is the girl here?" ”

I hesitated for a moment, pretending not to see the weakness on his face alone, pretending to be relaxed and pretending to be calm: "Oh, yes, after the adults are gone...... I didn't feel sleepy, so I wanted to come to the toast building for some supper, and wait to see them come back. ”

Shangguan Yan smiled dejectedly: "It's good to have a friend like a girl." ”

"What about you? Why didn't you go home in the middle of the night? ”

"Home?" Shangguan Yan stared down at the lamp and replied mockingly, his eyes full of sadness, "I haven't felt home for a long time. ”

"How so? Yun Niang has always cared about you, although I don't remember much when I was a child, but I still remember that I have always been very envious of you for having such a good mother. I cautiously walked a few steps closer, not daring to face him, afraid to see the sadness on his face, afraid that I would not know how to comfort him, leaning against the corner wall and peeking at him, the silhouette of the side face under the light is so beautiful.

“…… My mother is really good to me...... Especially after the previous things became clearer and clearer-I was wrong, I was wrong too much, I gambled for so many years on trivial things, and I failed everything she sacrificed for me......" Shangguan Yan's voice became weaker and weaker, and he was already crying slightly, he was indeed very self-blaming, and he blamed himself so much that the whole person lost his color.

"How so? She has never blamed you, you have big ambitions to run, and she is actually very happy to see that you are healthy and ambitious. ”

Shangguan Yan closed his eyes and shook his head.

"You've been looking for Mr. Li, haven't you?" I know that his sudden and uncontrollable sadness must not be only because of Yun Niang.

Shangguan Yan nodded.

"How is he?"

He ...... Refuse to see me. ”

Li Gongzi is still angry with him? He cares about Yun Niang, I can understand, but why blame Shangguan Yan's head? Shangguan Yan himself is also very guilty, in fact, isn't this disaster caused by her mother Yunqing, why did he turn his face like an enemy with the innocent Shangguan Yan?

"Yun Niang's illness has not improved, everyone is very worried, it is inevitable that there will be some rushes in anger, everyone just give way." I don't know much about it, but I still try to be forgiving.

"Second brother blames me, too...... There are so many dilemmas in the world, if you want to keep your family, but you have to sacrifice your justice, I just keep doing what I should do, the belief that I have always adhered to...... Isn't that right? Shangguan Yan looked very troubled.

A person who has always adhered to his beliefs and can persist no matter how hard he is, suddenly confused and shaken everything he insists on, how to comfort him?

"You asked me in the alley that day if I hated my father, did you already guess that your mother was probably related to my father's disappearance? When you decided to continue to investigate the truth, were you already ready to expose your mother? I said in a trembling voice, is that important decision to track down everything about Yun Niang?

Shangguan Yan said softly: "Yes, I have already guessed, since the day I knew that she had lied to cover up for herself alone in Xiyuan, I began to doubt her, first doubting her original intentions, and then doubting her identity......"

It turns out that Yun Niang has been to Xiyuan alone, is it nostalgic for the memories of living there? Except for the last separation, everything there is indeed calm and beautiful.

"That time it rained into the West Plains to avoid the rain and cold, and then many forgotten fragments began to be recalled and pieced together, remembering her good and bad face, remembering the fear when you cried in front of her, and her mysterious deep smile on the mountain...... I have always pursued the so-called justice and truth, and I cannot hide a guilty person so hypocritically...... Whether she is sick or not, or whether she is forced to do so, she has to give a complete account of what happened back then, and you can no longer be trapped in the unknown and speculate like a curse...... So I didn't stop it...... Didn't stop you from checking on her...... Didn't stop Cao Nan's tracking...... Didn't stop her confession......" He turned to look at me, his eyes filled with tears, "If I'm selfish, I'll be selfish for once, and take her out of here before she's determined to confess, maybe nothing will happen, will it?" ”

I shook my head.

"Am I wrong, am I stubborn and almost stupid? If I don't check, if I don't come here, nothing will happen......"

"No, don't think like that, don't blame yourself, okay? Even if nothing happened here, she would still be poisoned to death. Song Lingjian said, if she is poisoned slowly, the gods will not be saved, and now there is a chance to turn around, maybe, this is an opportunity for God to make up for her, so that she should not hurt herself like this to make up for her previous mistakes. "I'm so sad, why does he blame himself, why does he take everything on himself?

Shangguan Yan smiled bitterly, and there were tears in his eyes.

I handed over the towel and said with tears in my eyes: "It's useless to regret the previous days, and the days to come will be long." You blame yourself for the incident, not only hurting yourself, but also hurting the people who care about you. ”

Shangguan Yan closed his eyes and shook his head, then kept holding his forehead low, almost burying his face in the collar, I don't know if he was calming down or crying uncontrollably.

I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes, afraid that it would only make him more sad if I said it, this kind of feeling of gain and loss is really bad, I am obviously a person who can't hide my words, Xia Xia often says that I am like a sun, I can bring laughter everywhere, why can't I make him laugh and make him happy? Why am I so stupid that I can't help in the slightest?

The wind pierced through the alley, and even I, who had never felt cold, felt cold, Shangguan Yan still lowered his head, and there was no sound at all-

Something wasn't right, I looked at his hand closely, as if it was trembling slightly, a little unrealistically pale......

"My lord—" I touched his hand, and it was as cold as a needle pricking my fingertips.

Shangguan Yan leaned back against the wall weakly, his face was pale, his eyes were closed, and his face was covered with cold sweat-

"Your Excellency!" I exclaimed and hurriedly helped him, which reminded me of the last rainy night when he had a cold attack in Xihuayuan! My mind is in a mess, what should I do?!

Help- Help-

"Help-" I just opened my mouth to scream, when suddenly there was a smell of alcohol behind me, and someone pulled me away and hugged Shangguan Yan: "Don't panic, he has a cold illness again, help him in." ”

Shangguan salute?!