Back in the dormitory, I thought that the original plan might be in vain, and I originally planned to start working after returning from Jiangxi Yan, but now, I feel that I am almost decadent for a few days. I want to do something else to divert my attention, but no matter what it is, I always have a wisp of thought thinking about what I just said, thinking about my impulse, thinking about Jiangxi Yan, probably I am really hopeless.

In the end, I simply did nothing, lay on the bed, and let my thoughts drift there, let my mind float and sink and sink in my heart, and let my tears pass through my eyes. Probably this is also the best way, the pain is extreme, and if you get used to it, it may not be so uncomfortable.

I think that at the beginning, in the two most difficult periods of my life, didn't I come over like this, uncovering my scars over and over again, again and again, even if it was only a little scar, I had to tear it open, tear it apart, as if abused, just to let myself go through it again, over and over again, knowing that I can face it calmly.

This time, it should be able to pass quickly, after all, although it hurts, but at least I still have a thought, and I blame myself for being too greedy, obviously I just wanted to watch from afar at first, but when did I start to want more little by little.

How nice it would be if you turned away from him the moment you became aware of your feelings; Even if you had restrained your curiosity, you wouldn't have crossed paths with him in the first place. If there was no intersection in the first place, isn't it, and there is no need to be so painful now.

"Xiao Qi, Xiao Qi, what's wrong with you, are you uncomfortable?" Who is talking in my ear? Who is it? I tried hard to break open my eyes, but no matter how hard I tried, my eyes seemed to be glued together, and I couldn't open them.

"Xiao Qi, Xiao Qi, wake up, wake up" The voice in my ears did not stop, but I remember that there was obviously no one else in the dormitory, could it be that they all came back, opened their mouths, and wanted to say something, but they couldn't even open their lips, so how could they make a sound.

"Xiaoqi, hurry up, or I'll call your grandmother, hurry up" The voice continued, grandma, call grandma, but I clearly remember that grandma had passed away a long time ago.

"Oh my God, your forehead is too hot, it can't be that it was frozen last night" It was still the same voice as before, but this time, I heard the response.

"Hey, I'm fine, I'm really fine, just take some medicine, don't worry, don't call grandma" I moved my lips, still couldn't open, but I clearly heard my own voice.

Finally, as if I had wasted all my strength, my eyes were finally able to open, and I could see things, but when I entered them, I was strange, but not all strange, because I had seen them all, but because they were old, I felt a little strange.

"Jia Qi, don't call grandma, I just slept too late yesterday and caught a cold" This time I saw the person with the same voice as me, and I was surprised, this is obviously me, but I can see my face, and next to her is Jia Qi, intact and undamaged Jia Qi.

"Oh, okay, I won't say it, but you can't do this, have you taken medicine, no, do you have medicine?" Jia Qi said helplessly.

Then, I saw that I shook my head there, and then, Jia Qi continued, "Alas, okay, I know that you don't even have medicine, how can you take medicine, you wait for me, I'll buy it for you." After saying that, he ran away directly, regardless of what the person who was still sick said, "No need, I'll just sleep."

After more than ten minutes, the man came back, carrying a bag of medicine in his hand, and I, seeing it, asked a little impatiently, "Why are you buying so much?" ”

The person carrying the bag touched his head embarrassedly and said, "Oh, I only remember to buy medicine, but when I got there, people asked me what medicine I wanted, I couldn't answer, and people didn't know what medicine to give me, and I was afraid that you would be in a hurry, so I took some cold, fever, pharyngitis, and cough" The more this person said, the more unconfident she became, and her voice became smaller and smaller, and it seemed that she also felt a little stupid.

"Oh, it's okay, anyway, this medicine has a long shelf life, and it will always be useful one day" In the end, I don't know if she was comforting herself or making excuses for herself, she said the last sentence very indifferently.

But obviously, when I heard this, my face that was not very good-looking was even more ugly at the moment, and it was also that anyone who heard this would not look good-looking, what is the meaning of 'always useful day', who is this cursing. In the end, 'I' said helplessly, "Don't talk nonsense, even if you throw it all away in the end, I don't want to use it one day."

Obviously, as soon as 'I' said this, the person also realized that he had just said wrong, "Hey, yes, yes, yes, in the end, they all threw it, threw it, hehe." Come on, you see which one you want to eat".

"You," I sighed as I looked at myself, then took another deep breath, as if I was really a little, "Forget it, just give me some cold medicine." ”

Okay, maybe, that 'me' is really me, anyway, I can understand her thoughts, in fact, I also feel helpless, how can anyone ask themselves what kind of medicine to take, it's obviously a good intention, but why is it not right to express it, this person is really capable.

However, the Jia Qi I saw today seems to be a little different from my impression, obviously in my memory, Jia Qi is a very cute person, and what he says is not like this, a little annoying. Could it be that everything I knew before was fake?

I couldn't wait for me to think deeply, and a voice came from my ear again, "Hey, Xiaoqi, don't you really tell your grandmother?" I feel like you're a bit serious, don't you really need to go to the hospital? Jia Qi asked with some concern.

"It's okay, I just haven't rested well, plus the fever caused by a cold, take medicine, just sleep for a while", "I" paused, and then continued, "You must not tell grandma, grandma is already hard enough, I don't want to add trouble to her because of this, don't worry, when I go home, it will be all right."

Although there is nothing special about their conversation, it is like a bolt from the blue in my ears, telling my grandmother, don't worry about grandma, isn't this grandma still dead, she has been with me and watched me grow up? No, it shouldn't be me, it should be 'me'.

I wanted to laugh, to be exact, I couldn't help it, I was already laughing, but unfortunately, I still couldn't open my mouth, but even this couldn't hide the joy in my heart. I always knew it was in a dream, from the moment I heard my own voice and I couldn't speak.

But what I didn't know was that I was so greedy! Obviously, even if I only give me one, I can snicker for the rest of my life, but I still want to have both, not only for my grandmother to watch me grow up, but also for Jia Qi to always accompany me and grow up together. But the reality is that I don't have either, no grandmother, no Jia Qi. Now even Jiangxi Yan is gone.

I don't know how much I'm going to lose, so it's not entirely true, Jia Qi and my grandmother I have owned, this can be said to be a loss, but Jiangxi Yan, I really never had it, so how can I talk about losing?

But I still can't help but want to laugh at the moment, if nothing else, just for me in this dream I can live so happily, just because I can still imagine the future in this dream, and I still have everything. Maybe it's because I haven't given up on life yet, and because I still want the future in my heart.

Well, I have to admit that I am not a person who gives up this life easily, I want to persevere, I don't know if I stick to my future, it is a little better than money for twenty years, but I know that if I accept my fate at this moment, I will give up, perhaps, in the next second, there will be no more me in this world, and those things that I desire will never appear.

Next, they talked about something, but I didn't pay attention, it seemed that just watching the two of them smile happily like this is a great happiness for me.

I watched and watched, and I knew that my vision was getting blurred, and I knew that my dream was almost over, and I had to wake up and continue to face this unsatisfactory reality.

When I opened my eyes, I moved my lips, and sure enough, I could move, okay, this time I was really myself, I raised my hand and touched the corners of my eyes, and it was really a little chapped. I didn't expect that I would cry until I fell asleep one day, but at this moment, I am no longer the same me as before, I have experienced a hundred times more painful things than this, how can I be hurt by this little injury!

If you want to say yourself, you really have lived a lot of happy days, so you forget your past for a while, and sometimes, you really have to turn over those painful things, reveal them little by little, and smell them a little bit, until nothing can hurt you anymore.

Turned over and got out of bed, picked up the mobile phone he put on the table, and wanted to check the time, but it didn't matter, he saw so many messages, and he had just slept too hard, and he didn't hear anything.

clicked on WeChat, and sure enough, in the three-person group of me, Lu Wei, and Lian Xin, I saw dozens of messages. Thinking that they were in a hurry, they didn't look at the news first, but sent a message directly and asked: Do you have anything important?

Lu Wei: I'll go, Xiaoqi, you're finally out, why did you go?

Lian Xin: Xiaoqi, you finally came out, why didn't you reply to the message?

Well, the two are really in sync.

Me: No, I just fell asleep, why are you looking for me in such a hurry, is there anything important for me to do?

Lu Wei: What's important? Not really, we don't have anything important to do.

Lian Xin: You didn't read the above message?

Me: No.

Lian Xin: Then take a look!