I kept my head down, and I only looked up at the moment when I took a picture, and at that time, others were looking in the same direction as me, so naturally I couldn't see what I was like. After the shooting, I lowered my head again, and it was almost like this all morning, so that my neck was really sore.

At noon, I was finally able to go back to the dormitory, and the first thing I did when I entered the door was to rush into the bathroom and isolate the two people who were still trying to stop me, and I looked at myself again through the mirror on the wall, not to mention, it was really good-looking, but it was too awkward. The next second, I lowered my head and turned on the faucet, until my face touched the cool water, I was relieved, and I felt that I could breathe again!

Looking left and right in the mirror, knowing that I couldn't see anything on my face, I was finally satisfied, and then pulled the door open and walked out.

As soon as I went out, the two men who were sitting upright looked straight at me, and their eyes didn't mean anything. "What's the matter, are you hungry, let's eat," I asked knowingly.

"Eat, eat, eat, you know to eat, why do you say you want to wash it off." Lu Weina is quite dissatisfied, this person doesn't know how to dress up, he is plain all day long, although he is not ugly without makeup, but who doesn't want to make himself look better!

Lian Xin didn't say anything like Lu Wei, she has always been very restrained, but she still kept staring at me, staring at me, staring at me until my scalp was numb, it was better to say anything like Lu Wei! Finally, Lian Xin let out a long sigh, and then said earnestly, "No matter what you are, you don't have to worry about it anyway, someone will take over for the rest of your life, and it doesn't matter if you don't wear makeup or not." As soon as he finished saying this, he let out another long sigh!

Lian Xin's breath is really long, I feel like I'm going to be out of breath! But I know what she's sighing, it's nothing more than a matter of fate, we really don't know when fate will come, and we don't know how it will come, but there is one point, when we perceive it, it means that fate has arrived, sometimes there is really no need to rush, there will always be arrangements. Just like myself, I have decided that I want to die alone, but now I have met that fate.

"Let's go, let's go to dinner, it's okay in the afternoon, let's take a few more photos" Lian Xin pulled up Lu Wei beside him and said to me.

In the afternoon, it's very simple, because there is no need to gather again, everyone moves freely, and friends who play better will be together and wander around the school. This time it's a real stroll, no trouble in class, no need to worry about the exam, it's a real stroll, but the more you slosh, the more uncomfortable you feel in the bottom of your heart, I really want to extend the campus infinitely at this moment, and it will never be finished, I'm really reluctant!

Almost nowhere we go, we all take a few pictures, some of them are single, some are two, three and more. At this moment, I don't want to think about anything, I don't need to think about anything, just smile happily, I just want to record our happiest smile in the photo!

"I'm graduating," I said, turning my head to the girl next to me

Speaking of which, it should be an average age, but the person standing next to me looks like a high school student, looking very immature, and when I look at myself, I feel old, obviously an adult, standing together, especially looking more old-fashioned.

"Congratulations, Xiaoqi, then don't forget what you promised me" The girl next to her said with a smile, she was really happy, as if she was the one who was going to graduate.

But I couldn't remember what I promised her, and I asked, "What did I promise you?"

Sure enough, after hearing my words, the smile on the girl's face faded little by little, and her originally sunny face began to become gloomy at this moment, and even a little ruthless, almost jumping up, she said, "Have you forgotten? You actually forgot, how can you forget, you can't forget, you can't forget".

"I haven't forgotten, I haven't forgotten, I just don't know which one you are talking about, I promised you a lot of things" As if frightened by her, I was a little scared and hurriedly explained. And yet the girl, no, can't be called a girl now, because her height suddenly began to rise, and her eyes began to bleed, and even her whole body was bleeding.

She didn't go into my explanation at all, her mouth kept saying "can't forget, can't forget, you promised me, promised me" said as if she was ruthless and rushed towards me, holding my neck tightly with both hands, eager to cut it off directly. Then, as if she had suddenly seen my face, she gritted her teeth and said, "You, why didn't you die, why didn't you die, why not you?" ”

I felt like I was going to suffocate, and the next moment the person suddenly disappeared, but the feeling of suffocation was still there, obviously no one was holding my neck, and no one was blocking my mouth and nose, but I just couldn't breathe, as if the air around me suddenly disappeared.

I sat up violently, then took a big breath, breathing desperately for several minutes, before the suffocating feeling that surrounded me gradually dissipated. When I picked up my phone, it was already past four o'clock, and I looked at the date on my phone, June 7th. No wonder, no wonder, I said I hadn't had such a dream for a long time, why did it suddenly start again today. It turned out to be today.

At this moment, I suddenly felt very uncomfortable, I had never forgotten it, this time I actually forgot, I actually forgot.

I'm not sleeping, I haven't prepared so many things, how can I be qualified to continue sleeping. I don't know if there is a flower shop open so early.

Walking on the road to school again, the road that was originally very lively, there was no one at the moment, remembering that she was separated two days ago because she was going to graduate, and her classmates were crying and laughing, and she was indulgent all day, but she was lying there alone. I suddenly started running, and I can't wait to run to her right away, and the campus, which was still a little nostalgic, has lost color in my eyes at the moment.

As if tireless, I ran to the station in one go, and stood there waiting for the first train to the cemetery. I'm anxious because

I haven't bought her favorite lily yet, and at this time, no flower shop will open at all, and I have always prepared it in advance in previous years.

I really shouldn't, I blame myself, even though no one knows all this, but I can't get through it myself. It's like dreaming in a dream, and she said the sentence "You actually forgot, can't forget, can't forget". I really hate that self and I'm sorry for her. As if masochistic, I recalled the painful moment over and over again, stabbing and slashing at my heart.

In the midst of all the anxiety, the car finally came. However, it was not until I arrived at the cemetery that my anxious heart gradually cooled. I searched for the nearby flower shop on my phone, but as if to punish me for forgetting it, several of the nearby ones did not open, and I walked a long way before I finally saw a shop that had opened its door, and then walked in and bought the bouquet of bright lilies. The moment I really held it in my hand, my heart was steady.

It can only be said that some things are really destined, dodge in every possible way, always come back when they should come, and everything seems to be predestined. This time it is destined that I will forget this important day, and it is also destined that I will come here much later than before, and I am destined to leave much later, and it is destined that the people I want to see but dare not meet will meet today.

Of course, at this moment, I don't know what will happen that day, what will happen that will change the trajectory of my life. Now I only know one thing, I came to see Jia Qi, to confess to her, to confess what I forgot today. I don't ask her to forgive me, I don't want to be at ease, I just want to punish myself by following this confession.

I don't know how long it took, the weather was not very good, and sure enough, it began to be full of dark clouds, and I don't know how long it took, that thin layer of clouds, as if it could no longer bear the weight of the rain piled up on it, was penetrated by the rain drop by drop, and finally fell from the sky, and then fell to the ground drop by drop, except for the small area where I was standing, which was not hit, but was finally infected by the rain from all directions, The ground, which was still dry because of the rain falling on me, was also soaked!

Well, I didn't bring an umbrella and came out in a hurry, I didn't think to check the weather at all. But it's just right, so it's a punishment for yourself!

I looked up and wanted to look at the sky, but I found that I couldn't see anything, and silently said goodbye in my heart, and then I raised my foot, turned around, and at the moment when I wanted to leave, I found that I couldn't walk because of the person in front of me.

"Auntie, uncle," I asked in a trembling voice, my eyes gradually lowered, I did not dare to look up at them further, I could only lower my head, and then I saw a little boy of about five or six years old standing next to the person opposite. Big eyes, very pure, a little happy, but also sad, happy that my uncle and aunt have another child, Jia Qi has a younger brother, sad that Jia Qi can never come back, because of me!

"Why are you here," the woman opposite also asked in a trembling voice, but with someone's guilt and

Disturbed differently, she is uncomfortable and hateful. She didn't want to see this man, not at all, and turned her eyes to the tombstone behind the man, where lay her daughter, the daughter she loved the most. How can she not hate, how can she not be ruthless. "You get out, don't come back in the future, I won't be allowed" If she could get her daughter's life back, she wouldn't mind slashing this man with a thousand knives, nor would she mind putting herself in a place of no return.

"Auntie, I'm just coming to see" I really just came to see, I know I'm sorry for you, but I just want to come and see her.

"She doesn't need it" The woman pushed me away, and then bent the god picked up a bouquet of lilies placed in front of the tombstone and threw it at my feet, and if I saw that I had walked for a long time to buy it, it was thrown away and landed at my feet, but this flower was still more delicate because of the moisture of the rain, and compared with my mood at the moment, it seemed more ironic.

"I'm sorry, I know it's all my fault, I just want to come and see Jia Qi" I lowered my head and said weakly, I felt that I was going to lose my voice at this moment, and my whole body seemed to be drained.

"I don't allow her name to come out of your mouth" There was a slap along with this sentence, my body swayed, the left half of my face hurt, it hurt, it hurt, but I didn't reach out to cover it, this is what I deserved, I should have suffered it a few years ago, but it has been postponed until today, and the slap is finally coming.

"Let's go, don't come back in the future" It was Jia Qi's father who spoke, and he was also the uncle I had called for almost two years. His voice was calm, calm, but under that calm was irreparable pain. So far, is there anything to worry about, people have been dead for so long. Is there any point in talking about it now?

"Uncle?" Hearing the man's words, I only felt that the crack in my heart was getting wider and wider, as if I had been stabbed out of the crack by a knife, and then the person holding the knife did not pull out the knife directly, as if he felt that the mouth was not big enough, and held the handle of the knife where it was inserted, and turned it vigorously until the original seam became round, and then it could not be sewn up, and it could not be repaired.

"Get out" The woman's hysterical yelling came from my ears again, I knew that I would never be able to get their forgiveness in my life, my lips squirmed, and finally I didn't say anything, I pursed my lips tightly, picked up the flowers at my feet, looked at the photos on the stele again, looked at the woman who was staring at me and the man behind me, and finally looked at the little boy who was holding the man in his hand with a blank and innocent face, I raised my steps and left.

I've always known it, and I've always tried to avoid it, because I know that people I don't dare to see don't want to see me at all, as if I'm the cancer, or the kind of cancer that causes discomfort and pain just by looking at me.

Looking at the ground under my feet, I walked away step by step, always feeling something slipping off my face, drop by drop, and I couldn't even tell if it was rain or my tears.

I keep asking myself again: for

What died in the first place was not me, why not me. I am the only one who does not care about death or immortality, and even if I do, the heart that hangs will gradually wither over time. Eventually disappear into this world, leaving no trace. But will fate consulted with you? No, it will only wait for things to happen and give you the result directly, whether it is what you want or not, whether you can accept it or not, it is just that!

Walking out of the cemetery, it was as if I had walked into another world, and I stopped, standing under an unknown roof to hide from the rain, to hide from the fate that I did not dare to face.

(End of chapter)