The rain was falling, and I didn't know if I should look up at the sky and try to hold back the tears that wanted to slip out of my eyes, or I should keep my head down and look at the ground so that others could not see the traces on my face. I'm the only one here, though.

In the end, I chose the former, and when it came to this, I felt that I was not even qualified to cry! What qualifications do I have? At least I'm the one who is still standing here, the one who gave up his life in exchange for me!

I don't know how long it took, looking up at the sky, I just felt my neck stiffen, but I still couldn't put it down or move it, because after a while, the tears that filled my eyes could no longer be held back!

But this time it didn't work, I had to move, the phone in the bag kept vibrating, suddenly I thought of a possibility, feeling the vibration brought by the phone, I felt as if my heart was coming to life, and began to return to the normal beating frequency.

One hand attached to his eye socket, closed his eyes tightly, squeezed the tears that had not yet flowed out of his eye socket, and then wiped them away with his hand in an instant. I found a piece of half-dry clothes on my body again, rubbed my hands hard, until there was no longer that wet feeling in my hands, then I reached out and took out the mobile phone in my bag to look at the phone, sure enough, it was that person, just looking at this person's name, I felt a lot warmer, and finally showed my first smile today. At that moment, I had an impulse that made me do something that I regretted later, painful but liberating.

And yet at this moment I did it anyway. Sometimes, it's not that you haven't worked hard, but in the end, you really can't escape!

"Hey, Jiangxi Yan" I called his name, very hard, very hard, as if his name could bring me endless strength.

"You're here, what are you doing, why did I call you now?" Jiangxi Yan was very anxious, and a little angry, I knew from his angry tone, but if he saw my expression at the moment, and he knew my mood at the moment, I guess he would be even more angry. Because he was anxious and angry, he was relaxed and happy with me.

I know he's called me several times before, but I'm not in a good mood, so how can I answer? Just by talking about it, I felt as if a knife was poking at me one at a time. I don't want him to feel bad with me, I just want to say it in the calmest tone possible.

"I came out and wasn't at school, so I didn't get a call" in a calm tone that seemed to achieve the result I wanted.

"You're not in school, where are you, it's still raining, do you bring an umbrella" According to the usual question, he won't ask, this person is not a fool, not to mention that he knows that it will rain at a glance on this day, how can he not bring it, but now Jiangxi Yan still asked, he also felt a little strange, but the words have already been asked.

Coincidentally, I really didn't bring it today, but at the moment I don't want to say this "can you not talk and then listen to me, I have something to say"

。

"Yo, I didn't stop your mouth, you just have something to say, but the mouth grows on me, you just take care of yourself" Jiangxi Yan intuitively felt that this person's tone was very wrong today, and he didn't want to say these words, but these words came directly from his mouth, and he didn't have a brain at all.

I didn't pay attention to his words, and I was even a little happy, because this was his usual tone, so that my next words could be said in the usual tone.

"I used to have a friend, very good, very good, so good that I want to give her everything I have" The tone was cold and stiff that couldn't be described, as if my next mood was without a trace of temperature. But actually, I didn't want to do it, but I couldn't, despite my try.

"Hehe, you still have such a good friend, then do you want to give me to her too" Jiangxi Yan refused to admit that he was actually a little jealous, give her everything, you haven't given me all your things, and even half of what you have given me!

"Don't talk, just listen to me" I didn't even realize that at this moment I was really praying to him, begging him to give me a chance to present my darkest self to him.

Jiangxi Yan really didn't speak, even if he didn't realize it just now, now he knows that this moment is not usual, the person on the other side of the phone really needs a listener, he can feel the dark mood of that person at the moment, the sentence 'Where are you now' was blocked by him, and he closed his mouth. But God knows that he really wants to run to her side at this moment, hug her tightly, so that her world is not so dark, just like she came to her own world with light, and he also wants to send her sunshine.

I haven't heard Jiangxi Yan's voice for a long time, I know that he listened to my words, and I was inexplicably a little scared and distressed in my heart, but I didn't care at the moment, the words in that belly, and the memories full of brains, were really going to burst out! Then, like a machine, my lips moved up and down, and I didn't know what I was going to say.

In the third year of junior high school, my grandmother died, and finally, I was the only one left in this world, I didn't know how I came over that year, and I remembered the last words my grandmother said to me all day long, "Xiaoqi, you have to study hard at school, grandma is waiting for you at home". Study hard, I study hard, I study hard every day, but my grandmother is gone, and no one is waiting for me at home. I really miss her, miss her so much.

Later, when I went to high school, I thought I would live the same life as before, but I met a person who shone directly into my world like the sun, completely ignoring whether I wanted to or not.

When I think about it, I think I'm back in time, back to the moment when we first met.

I still remember that day when the school had just opened, because the score in the high school entrance examination was very high, or maybe the school leaders knew about my family situation and took pity on me, so they waived tuition and miscellaneous fees for me, and even gave me a subsidy every semester.

After check-in, I received my things and dormitory number

After tidying up my things, I went straight back to class. Maybe it had just started, there weren't many people in the classroom, and when I saw the empty seat on the other side of the window, I didn't think too much about it, so I walked over and sat down.

Look out the window, it's really lively outside, but what does that have to do with me, retract my gaze. I haven't sent out a book yet, so I can only take out one of my own books and read it.

I don't know how long it took, it was always an action, and after doing it for a long time, my neck began to sore, and I raised my head to relieve the soreness, and then I saw a person, sitting next to me, staring at my book. At that time, I thought: who is this person, why hasn't there been any movement, and how long has he been here!

But I don't care about it, what other people do, what does it have to do with me. Then I continued to read it, but this page was getting slower and slower, so slow that the people next to me were urging me, and the girl said, "Why don't you turn the page, I've been reading it for a long time."

I glanced at her and thought: This person is really big-faced, cough cough is self-cooked, this is my book, just rub the book, and now he still instructs me, a stranger, the owner of this book to be a scholar for her. I suddenly wanted to laugh, I couldn't even get angry, I wanted to say something, but in the end I didn't say anything.

As if on purpose, I read the book faster and faster, and at the end, it only took me five or six seconds to write a page, and then I turned the page. In fact, I've already read the book once, and that's what I told her later, but at the time, it was like revenge, and I didn't say anything.

"Alas, you wait, wait for me, I haven't finished reading it yet" The girl pressed my hand to turn the book.

I felt very uncomfortable with direct physical contact, after all, in the past year, I didn't talk about such contact, even if it was, I didn't say a few words, except that I was called by the teacher to answer questions. But maybe in the end, the teachers also saw that I was becoming more and more silent, and even this last chance to speak was rarely given to me.

Hurriedly withdrew her hand, the girl saw my movements, smiled and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, but you read too fast, I can read the first few pages, and in the end, I can only read two lines of words on a page, and you turn the page" The girl complained, the more she spoke, the more she felt wronged, and the last words sounded in my ears, as if she was going to cry. I also later learned that this is the girl's usual coquettish mode, but unfortunately, I didn't know at the time, I just felt that I was too much, and I was about to cry when I bullied others.

Then, after I didn't finish a page in the rest of the time, I would use my spare eyes to look at the person around me, and look at her frowning brow, or her drifting gaze, and I knew it was time to turn the page! After turning over, I saw her brows loosened, or her eyes focused, or the corners of her mouth raised, I knew if my movements were right.

At first, I was not proficient, but later, it was like a tacit understanding, I didn't even have to look at this person, I knew when to turn the page, when to stop. So accustomed to someone, that in the next long time

During the time, I was really playing the role of a scholar, and I was doing it well and willingly.

That time was really good, so much so that now when I talk to Jiangxi Yan, the corners of my mouth are smiling. If nothing happens next, I really feel like I'm being taken care of and the world is fair!

On that day, the two strange girls got acquainted like this, and I don't know what kind of arrangement this was, but the two of them were very happy at that time.

That day, until noon, the head teacher did not come to the classroom, maybe he felt that he was just a freshman of high school, and he was still far from the college entrance examination, and he didn't want to put so much pressure on everyone, or he was considerate of the school and deliberately left time for everyone to pack up his things.

"Grunt, grunt" I froze, after all, there was a stranger sitting next to me, this belly scream, I'm not sure if it came from my own, quietly experience, okay not myself. Obviously, I decided not to care about people and things that have nothing to do with me, but I don't know what's wrong, today, I care about this person next to me, sitting together all morning, I don't even know her name, but I will care.

"Ah, hahaha, hahaha, it's my stomach screaming" Hearing it, the girl laughed very embarrassed, too, on such an occasion, anyone will feel embarrassed, but if you don't say it, it's another thing.

The girl's embarrassment didn't last long, and she probably didn't take it to heart, and then continued, "Let's go to dinner, I'm hungry" said naturally, of course, but did she forget a little, I don't know her at all, it's only been more than an hour since we first met!

"What's the matter, aren't you hungry?" The girl stood up and looked, but found that I was not moving, and after thinking about it, she continued, "Haven't you added money to your meal card yet?" It's okay, I'm rushing, you can use mine first, wait a while we're done eating, I'll go with you to recharge the money" is really thoughtful, however, this is far from the focus of my concern, not to mention that I have already recharged the money.

"Gone, gone, all dead," the girl said as she seemed to be really hungry, and took my arm and pulled me up, but she seemed to have forgotten that not long ago, she apologized to me for contacting me without my consent. "Hey, let's put our books and bags here, take a place, and we'll sit here in the future, otherwise such a good position by the window will be snatched away by others in a while." She muttered again.

The arm I was about to withdraw stopped because of her words, but I didn't take it back, and she naturally took my arm and led me to the cafeteria. If there is one, there will be two, and if there is two, there will be three, just like the saying that one gives birth to one, one life to two, two to three, and three to all things, in the following days, she doesn't know how many times she walked on the way to the cafeteria with my arm like this, not only the cafeteria, but also to the dormitory, to the playground, to many places!

"Hey, by the way, I don't know what your name is, I heard that our homeroom teacher is very good, and he picks it himself

Seats, pick the same table, never like other teachers to arrange their own. So if nothing else, I'll be your tablemate, so you're going to tell me your name. ”

The girl didn't know where she heard the gossip, and she didn't know if it was accurate, so she said it directly, but in fact, we were all big mouths at that time, and any news always spread quickly, whether it was true or not, and whether it was allowed to be said or not, whether it should be said or not. I used to like this kind of time very much, and I liked this time when I could hear gossip anytime and anywhere, but when all the gossip was passed on to me, I realized how uncomfortable it was for the person to be said, and only then did I know that youth and ignorance were a kind of original sin.

(End of chapter)