I let out a long sigh: "There are some things that may be painful to know." But if you don't know, the taste of a hundred claws scratching your heart will be even more painful. "I don't know if I'm talking about my parents, or my sister, or Lu Zenghan, maybe both.

Han Muzhi looked at me thoughtfully, and only after a while did he say earnestly: "Ke Qiao, no matter what I say to you or what I do, I will always do it for your good. ”

I wanted to smile bitterly, but it didn't work, and my expression must be more ugly than crying. Everyone seems to be doing it for my good, but am I okay? I'm not good at all, my heart is torn apart, on the verge of breaking down all the time. Or, I've crashed.

My head hurt and I was dizzy, I took out the medicine given by Han Muzhi from the bag on the sofa, and I didn't care how many pills there were, I took a handful and prepared to stuff it into my mouth.

Han Muzhi hurriedly snatched the medicine from my hand: "Ke Qiao, what's wrong with you?" How can you take medicine like this? ”

I didn't know where I got the strength, so I snatched the medicine bottle back, poured out a handful, and said sadly: "What can I do if I don't take medicine?" ”

Han Muzhi grabbed my arm tightly and stopped me from putting the medicine in my mouth, but the place where he grabbed it happened to be the wound where I would cut myself with a Swiss army knife, and I couldn't help but shout "ah" softly because of his force. "What's wrong?" Han Muzhi felt that something was wrong, and hurriedly let go.

"It's okay, it's okay." I pretended to be relaxed, but the blood oozing from the cuffs couldn't escape Han Muzhi's eyes.

He grabbed my arm and tore open my sleeve, and the blood on it swirled around my wrist like an ugly root, and I couldn't count how many, again and again, the old grew new soft, the new dripping blood, and the half-new and not old scabbed. Han Muzhi's hand was trembling slightly, he looked at the new and old wounds on my wrist in shock, the whole person seemed to have been knocked down, and suddenly there was no blood on his face. He looked at me and whispered, "How did you get it?" His voice was shaking, and his eyes were red behind the lenses.

I pulled my hand back and whispered, "I accidentally got it." It's okay. ”

"Xin Keqiao!" Han Muzhi finally couldn't help it, held my shoulder and shouted, "You and I are facing psychological problems all day long, how many self-harm have you seen, can you fool me?" You know very well what I have for you, why can't you tell me the truth? ”

Tears, finally, still drops, drops, flowed down. Facing the people closest to me, it turned out that not only me, but also Han Muzhi, who was extremely profound, was not a qualified psychiatrist, and there was no other way than to roar. If Han Muzhi was a woman and my closest friend, maybe I would throw myself into his arms, even if I didn't say anything, and I would just cry. But I can't. He is a friend of my sister, and I can't ruin my sister's image; He pursued me, I rejected him and switched to Lu Zenghan, but Lu Zenghan still lost me, I can't tell him, I can't afford to lose this person.

I couldn't speak, I just kept sobbing, and I sat down on the couch, my hands over my face and crying.

Han Muzhi anxiously turned around me a few times, walking back and forth, and finally tried his best to calm his mood, sat opposite me, and said slowly: "Ke Qiao, don't care about my identity, I am a psychological counselor at this moment." You treat me like a tree hole, and if you want to say anything, you can say it boldly. Otherwise, you will suffocate yourself, your emotions, and you will not be very stable. ”

I was still crying, from crying loudly to sobbing quietly, and it took me more than an hour to slowly regain my composure. After another half an hour, I looked at him and said, "What do you know about my sister and Lu Zenghan?" Even you didn't confess to me. You are all hiding from me, but you say that it is for my good, let me think about it, I am not a saint. ”

Han Muzhi's expression was a little tangled, and he said after a while: "I don't know much. Keyi and I didn't get very close, and we got along very deeply. Although she has asked me to take care of you, she is only polite. I don't take care of you because of her affection. So only she knows about her. ”

"Yes, either you don't know, or you have to, and you won't tell me. You are like this, and so is my sister. "I looked out the window, where is my sister at the moment?

"You asked Keyi?" Han Muzhi looked at me suspiciously.

"Hmm." I bowed my head and said, "My sister has returned to Nancheng after the Spring Festival, and when I asked her anything, she didn't say anything." ”

"What about Lu Zenghan? Has he seen Keyi? Han Muzhi's voice was a little strange.

I nodded, "I've seen it." They already knew each other. I guess you know that. I looked up at Han Muzhi, but found that his expression was strange, and I couldn't help asking, "What's wrong?" Why do you have this expression? ”

Han Muzhi ignored my question, grabbed my other uninjured hand and asked, "Did he catch up with Ke Yi?" ”

"There's nothing to fuss about." I also tried to hide it, "They already know each other, and it's human nature to meet and talk again." ”

"You're there too?" Han Muzhi's expression was even more surprised, "Ke Qiao, are you sure you are awake now?" ”

I looked at him a little amusedly and said helplessly, "I'm sober and normal." If I'm confused, I'd like to be able to sleep like I have been for the past few days, so that I don't have to face a lot of things and I don't have to go crazy. ”

Han Muzhi frowned and listened to me say this, without any comment, but just muttered to himself repeatedly: "How did he do it?" How did he do it? ”

I looked out the window in distraction and muttered, "Makiyuki, you don't know how uncomfortable I feel now, I really wish I just disappeared like this, and I don't have to hear or see these troubles again." ”

Han Muzhi said as if he was startled: "You can't think like that, what kind of hurdles in life can't be overcome?" You're gone, and things get harder. After a pause, Han Muzhi looked at me and asked, "This is why you hurt yourself?" ”

I sighed and looked at him confused: "What should I do?" What can I do? ”

"What do you do? Ke Yi is back, shouldn't you be happy? Why is it so painful? Han Muzhi asked, looking at my expression carefully.

"yes, I should be happy. I shouldn't be like a rock in my way, sitting across here. I covered my face and tears flowed again. How can I have so many tears?

Han Muzhi pondered my words, and suddenly frowned and asked me, "You mean, Lu Zenghan and Keyi have rekindled their old relationship?" ”

Once again, I couldn't hold back and cried uncontrollably as I sobbed my shoulders. Han Muzhi sat beside me, gently took me into his arms, looked at my injured wrist distressedly and sighed: "Even so, you can't do it to fulfill them, Ke Yi has paid a lot for you in this life, it's good for you to quit, but why do you bother yourself?" ”

Han Muzhi's words pierced my heart again, I know that my sister has paid a lot for me, and everyone knows her dedication. But what about me? I broke away from Han Muzhi and cried: "I'm not an ungrateful person, I can give up, I'm giving up, but I can't control my feelings." I've grown up so big, for the first time I love someone unreservedly, I have held one of my hearts in front of others, and now let me take it back, how much it hurts me, does anyone know? ”

My words at this table made Han Muzhi's face suddenly turn black, and I could see the green tendons on his sideburns jumping out, and his fists were clenched. I didn't care if my words hurt him, I had already said so much, I simply said it all: "I've never been so miserable as I am now." Let me hold my lover in my own hands, which is already a kind of Ling Chi. However, why didn't he make up his mind about his sister and provoke me again? Let me fall into the self-blame for my sister again? With heartache on one side and guilt on the other, I'm really going crazy. "I never like to throw things to vent, after saying this, I couldn't help but pick up a glass glass from the coffee table, and smashed it against the window, the glass shattered, the glass smashed a crack, and my heart was like broken glass, mottled.

And this time, Han Muzhi was shocked, he grabbed my hand and asked, "You mean, Lu Zenghan is still pestering Keyi while falling in love with you?" ”

Han Muzhi's words were too straightforward, but the reality seemed to be similar to what he said. I closed my eyes and bit my lip, but didn't answer, just said slowly, "Makiyuki, I really can't hold it anymore." ”

I was like a dying fish, and I didn't even have a trace of life when I looked at Han Muzhi's gaze. Han Muzhi was stabbed by me a few more times, and finally said to me as if he had made up his mind: "You come with me!" I'll show you something. ”

I didn't know what he was going to do with me, I just followed him like a walking corpse. His car was parked downstairs, and when I got in, he drove as fast as he could. I don't know where he's going. The night seems to have no end.

The car drove very fast, and in less than an hour, it drove to a very remote wilderness. Where is this? I got out of the car and followed Han Muzhi for a few steps, but I was nailed to the spot. This is a cemetery, it's a big night, what did Han Muzhi bring me here for? I turned around and was about to walk back.

But Han Muzhi refused to let go of my hand, pulled me hard and dragged me into the cemetery. This cemetery is so big that you can't see the end at a glance. Han Muzhi took me around and around, and set up a small monument in an inconspicuous place in the southwest. Leaning against a dim street lamp outside the wall, I saw that there was no name on the tombstone, only the date of the monument, which was four years ago.

Han Muzhi said quietly: "Ke Yi is lying here, you say, how did Lu Zenghan entangle Ke Yi while falling in love with you?" ”