I grabbed Mei Zijun's arm like a life-saving straw: "What about Lu Zenghan?" Is he okay? ”

Mei Zijun patted my hand: "Let's let the doctor check you first." ”

The doctor came over and simply measured my blood pressure and heartbeat, and told the nurse, "Get ready, naloxen is injected intramuscularly, naloxone is injected intravenously." Then to Han Muzhi, "The amount of morphine injected by her is not too much, and she should be discharged from the hospital soon after medication, but she must stay in the hospital for observation for a few days to see if there is any mental damage." The sequelae of morphine overdose are mainly fear of mental disorders. ”

My heart sank, my spirit was already like this, how bad could it be?

The doctor and nurse went out to prepare the medicine, and Mei Zijun stayed, and I asked eagerly, "Is he okay?" ”

Mei Zijun's expression sank for a moment, and said with a smile: "It's okay, it's okay, Han Muzhi has caught it, Lu Zenghan is a big man, he will definitely be able to survive." ”

"Push through? He hasn't woken up yet? I sat up from the bed and grabbed Mei Zijun, "Which ward is he, I'm going to go over." ”

"No, no. He woke up. Mei Zijun looked at me a little entangled, and stopped talking.

I was so anxious that I shook him: "Tell me quickly, are you going to kill me in a hurry?" ”

"Ke Qiao, you are mentally prepared." Mei Zijun took a deep breath and said, "He woke up earlier than you, but he overdosed on morphine in his body, and," Mei Zijun paused, and said in a somewhat painful tone, "He has a history of drug abuse and has suffered a lot of damage to his body, so this morphine is very traumatic to him." ”

"Drugs?" I looked at Mei Zijun incredulously, "He's a policeman, how could he-"

"He went undercover and sailed, Zou Shizhao is an old devil, can he easily trust people? At that time, he just climbed Zou Yukai, pretending to be playing with those people. Later, he gradually broke into the voyage, Zou Shizhao was a little suspicious of him, and deliberately asked him to send a batch of drugs, forcing him to taste it himself. If you don't suck, you die, suck, you can win their trust, does he have a choice? Mei Zijun sighed and said, "God knows how much perseverance it took him to quit drugs." We've also dealt with addicts, and they've basically been addicted for life, and few of them can really quit. ”

I remembered the fine scratches on the head of the bed in Lu Zenghan's bedroom when he lived in the apartment that Lu Zenghan had set up for the voyage, and I suspected that he had insomnia or something, and he laughed and said that it was a cat scratch. Now that I think about it, I'm afraid it's just the scratches of his drug addiction. The pain of scratching my heart with a hundred claws, even if I haven't experienced it, I can imagine a thing or two.

Mei Zijun smiled bitterly: "He used to be a strong person, and after tossing and turning after drug addiction and drug rehabilitation, he was as thin as a monkey." ”

My whole body was covered with goosebumps, and I couldn't help but grab Mei Zijun and ask, "Then what's his situation now?" ”

"He's not in a big deal right now. But in that state, as if drug addiction came up, excitement, insomnia, sweating, vomiting, agitation and self-harm. Mei Zijun's voice lowered, "Yesterday he was in a hurry, I said let him wait for me to go together, but he didn't listen, so he was in a hurry." Mei Zijun pounded the edge of the bed in annoyance, "I knew he wouldn't be able to do anything if he went." ”

Tears poured out disobediently, I ran to the door of the ward desperately, and rushed out, I want to go to Lu Zenghan, I want to see him. Mei Zijun strode after me and led me to a single room upstairs, where Lu Zenghan lay quietly. I was about to push the door in, but Mei Zijun grabbed me: "Just injected with a sedative, don't wake him up again." It's easy to stop. ”

I watched him out of the glass, and I couldn't stop crying, all because of me. If it weren't for my harmful personality, he wouldn't be lying here, and if it weren't for her and I being the same face, he wouldn't be reluctant to shoot and watch "she" inject morphine into his body. He had quit drugs, and he knew how bad it was, but he chose not to hurt me without hesitation. If he had given me a shot, I would have been ruined, but he wouldn't have to suffer this kind of sin here. It is only now that I finally understand that in this world, apart from my sister, only this man lying inside is "love" for me.

But what have I done? I couldn't even control my evil thoughts, and I pushed morphine into his body. The guilt and frustration of overturning the river and the sea instantly flooded my brain, and the corridor was a window, and at that moment I had no thoughts, I ran to the window, die, and if I die, I won't hurt anyone anymore. Since I can't control her, I'd rather die with her! It's better than harming people.

Before I could run to the window, I had already been pulled back by Mei Zijun, and he said to me indignantly, "What are you doing here? Lu Zenghan would rather choose to die by himself than be willing to hurt you at all, you don't cherish your life so much? ”

"Zijun, you don't understand." I could barely cry, "I'm sick, I can't control my other self, if it weren't for her, Zeng Han wouldn't be lying here." ”

Mei Zijun clasped my hand: "I know, he told me a few days ago." I just learned that there is such a strange disease in this world. But he told me that it could be cured. But Joe, you're not afraid of death, can't you still treat yourself yourself? Don't forget, you're a psychotherapist. ”

"Shall I cure myself?" I was stunned.

"I don't understand, although I once grinded Lu Zenghan to teach me some psychological knowledge, but after all, it's a skin, and I'm definitely not as professional as you. I don't know if I can cure this disease on its own. But I don't think it's a surgical operation that requires a knife, and doctors can't do it themselves. You are such a good psychotherapist, you have helped the police handle so many cases, why can't you treat yourself? Mei Zijun looked at me with a look of longing in her eyes, "Lu Zenghan can do such a difficult thing as drug rehabilitation." I think it's easier to heal yourself than to die. ”

Treating myself, I've never thought about it. Probably my main personality, I want to run away from my own problems whenever I encounter them. I looked at Lu Zenghan lying inside, my heart moved, I am not afraid of death, so what will happen if I go out to treat myself?

"Okay, let's go back first, the doctor still needs to give you medicine." Mei Zijun took me back to my hospital room, and the nurse came and injected me with the medication. After Mei Zijun helped me buy the food, I returned to the bureau first.

I sat on the hospital bed with my knees crossed, my heart was frying, and after an hour of hard work, I secretly ran upstairs and stood outside Lu Zenghan's hospital room, wanting to see him again. He slept so soundly that I looked at him stupidly, not knowing how long he had been standing.

Suddenly, his body began to tremble, the quilt on his body was bounced off, I hurriedly pushed the door in, Lu Zenghan struggled to sit up, but his forehead and neck were full of sweat, he looked at me as if he didn't see anything, just gritted his teeth tightly, and popped out a few words: "It hurts, it hurts." ”

I stood in front of him at a loss: "Zeng Han, what should I do?" What can I do? ”

"Ahh Lu Zenghan suddenly screamed, "It hurts!" Saying that, the whole person slammed into the wall at the head of the bed, I didn't care about shouting, and hurriedly rushed over to block in front of him, he didn't hit the wall, but the whole person hit my stomach, it hurt! My guts were going to be knocked off, and it hurt me to tears.

But I didn't care about my pain, so I held his head tightly in my arms, and used my weak strength to resist his impact and struggle. His pain, more painful than my own, I shouted out, "Come on, doctor, nurse." ”

Lu Zenghan pushed me hard: "You go!" ”

I hugged him tighter: "I'm not leaving, it's me, I'm Kejo." If you hurt, bite me, hit me, don't hit the wall. ”

Lu Zenghan's hands were like two big pliers, grabbing my back painfully, and he howled in pain: "You go, I can't control myself." It hurts, it hurts and itchy, it feels like it's getting into a bone. ”

"I understand, I understand, you catch me, you bite me." My back and waist were full of pain, skin cuts and bloody pain, and my arms, which were soon scratched and bloodied by him.

Seeing the blood on my arm, Lu Zenghan's hand strength was much smaller, he grabbed himself in annoyance, the muscles of his whole body were tense, as if he was going to resist the pain gushing out of his body, but he couldn't resist the pain from his body, his whole body was sweating profusely, and he grabbed me and let go again, a big man, his whole body kept twitching, tense and relaxed.

The doctor and nurse finally arrived and grabbed him from my body, and the doctor injected him with drugs, and Lu Zenghan was finally freed from the rage just now. I eagerly asked the doctor, "Why is he like this?" When will it be good? ”

The doctor calmly dealt with it and replied to me: "If the amount of morphine is too large, and you have a history of drug addiction, you will become addicted again." We will increase the dose of medication, but the patient's own will is also important. It's hard to say the time, it's good to be as fast as a month, and as slow as half a year and six months. ”

I stood next to me, somehow suppressing my heartache, watching Lu Zenghan being fiddled, I bit my lip tightly to prevent tears from falling. What sins he suffered for my sake.

But Lu Zenghan still didn't get better, still struggling in bed, and I couldn't help asking, "How can this be?" Why is he still so uncomfortable? ”

"You can't always give him a sedative, then the person will be useless. It is necessary to go through this painful process, and medication can relieve the pain, but it cannot eliminate it. The doctor said.

"How long is that going to be uncomfortable?" My heart is so uncomfortable.

"It's not good, depending on his physique, for an hour or two." The doctor looked at me and said, "Aren't you also a patient?" Why don't you go back? ”

"I'm with him." I said firmly, "When he's done with it for a while, I'll go back." ”