Soon after, Ping Yan went to Hanshan Nunnery, where she met Mrs. Lin. She confessed her life experience, and it was a rare sober day for Mrs. Lin. Mrs. Lin cried a lot, knelt quietly in front of the Buddha statue for an afternoon, and in the early morning of the second day, she went quietly, leaving not a word.

There are several wings in the backyard of Hanshan Nunnery, and I heard Mrs. Lin say that there is an old friend of hers living in it, if she has a heart, she might as well go and take a look.

Xu had not been set foot here for many years, and she knocked on the door for a long time before getting a response. She pushed the door slightly, and against the light, she could only see a shadow almost dry sitting cross-legged on the futon, motionless.

She walked in the door, stopped behind her, and asked, "Is it Master Jing'an?" ”

"Yes." A very short word, and his voice was hoarse, as if he hadn't spoken for a long time.

"This morning, Master Jingxin has gone."

She didn't even have the slightest ups and downs, only muttered, "It's gratifying to be freed from the sea of suffering." ”

"Listen to her, you are my old friend."

"The deceased? The poor nun has been a monk for many years, how can there be any old people? She smiled a little coldly.

"I am a descendant of the Xu family."

Her back was all the way, and the hand that plucked the beads was a little confused, and then the string of beads broke in her hand, and the sandalwood beads rolled to the ground. She turned around abruptly and tried her best to find Ping Yan's direction.

That face was very old and yellow, full of wrinkles, Ping Yan just felt very familiar, and when she reacted, she suddenly burst into tears.

She jumped up and hugged her tightly, "Auntie! It's really you! I'm not dreaming, am I? ”

"Yes...... It's me, God has eyes, my sister's daughter is still alive. ”

In the past few decades, they are reluctant to mention it, and there is no way to mention many hardships, and tears are the only outlet at this time. It was as if after the bitter water evaporated from the body, there was no longer so much bitterness in the heart.

"Auntie, your eyes?" A pair of eyes that were once as bright as the stars.

He Hua didn't care, "At first, it was for my love, and then for my sister's family, I cried all the year round and cried blindly, so it's okay, I can't see anything, but it's clean." She held Ping Yan's hand firmly and said with a smile: "Ping Yan has grown so big, my aunt can still see you in her lifetime, and she can really be blinded by death." ”

"What can't die, we still have many good days. Auntie, it's too hard here, come home with me. ”

She shook her head, "In the past ten years, I have been used to it, it's good, it's much better to face the flowers and trees every day than to face the hundred-faced beings under the mountain." ”

Ping Yan pondered, "Mu Zicheng has been looking for you. ”

She frowned, and quickly stretched, her eyebrows were faint, without joy or sorrow, "My current Dharma name is Jing'an, and I am no longer the He Hua I was back then, what he is looking for is He Hua, but He Hua is no longer in this world." ”

Towards the evening, Ping Yan reluctantly left. She didn't plan to tell Mu Zicheng about this, as she said, what he was looking for was He Hua, but He Hua was no longer in this world, so it was better not to see him than to meet and increase his worries and hatred.

She hadn't been so happy as she was today for a long time, so much so that Tan'er felt so strange, thinking that she had gone up to the mountains and bumped into some evil monster, and she had to find a mage or Taoist priest or something to exorcise ghosts. Ping Yan smiled heartily and only dragged her hand, "Tan'er, do you know?" I'm not alone in this world, I still have relatives alive, do you think it's worth being happy? ”

Tan'er didn't say anything like going to invite a Taoist priest again, but just smirked with her, laughing so much that each other was teary-eyed.

Lin Lixue received a telegram from Ping Yan and came to the funeral five days later, and when she came, she had a big belly, and it seemed that she was about to give birth. Xu is month has arrived, or the grief is too great, this child was really born in the temple, it is a female doll, and it is Ping Yan who brought her to this world with her own hands.

"I really didn't expect you to save the lives of our mother and son." Lin Lixue was lying on the delivery bed, sweating profusely, and she called her weakly.

Ping Yan washed the blood on her hands and said, "Really? I didn't expect that. ”

Lin Lixue was silent for a long time, and suddenly said, "Do you hate me?" ”

Ping Yan shook the water stains on her hand and said with a smile: "I probably hated it before, but now I have nothing to hate." Shen Yuchen is dead, and love and hate are gone with him. ”

Lin Lixue propped up half of her body, tilted her head of the bed to look at her, and suddenly laughed, "You, like me, are very miserable." It's just that you've been used to it since you were a child, and you shouldn't feel anything, but I'm different, I'm being raised like a princess, and now I have to beg for a living under someone else's roof. Is my life really not much cheaper than yours? She closed her eyes and seemed to have tears streaming down, "Actually, we met when we were children, about three or four years old, you and your father came to my house, I was so happy at that time, thinking that I finally had a little friend to accompany me, but then I was unhappy, because my mother always gave you good things first, and I was thinking at that time, you must be a bad person who came to rob me of things, I am high, what are you, I don't want to see you again in my life, Xu Pingyan." ”

Ping Yan sneered: "I don't remember. ”

"Later, you still snatched my brother Yuchen and my love, even my mother abandoned me and my father for your Xu family, and the last time she saw you was you, and I had nothing."

Ping Yan didn't want to pay attention to it and left. She suddenly shouted, "Stop! ”

She paused, not looking back. Lin Lixue's cry gradually rose, "I could have hated you all the time, but why do you like to pretend to be a bodhisattva so much?" Why save our mother and son? Why should I owe you? A woman like you is really scheming, so I can't even hate it for granted! ”

Ping Yan said lightly: "Your life is cheap, but the child is not cheap." If you want to die, just die, let alone save it, I won't even look at you more. ”

This year's snow came very early, floating at the turn of autumn and winter, when the autumn flowers have not been exhausted, and the chrysanthemums are in full bloom. After this snowfall, Xu Wanqing's illness came like a mountain, and she couldn't get out of bed for a few days, and I heard that she was pregnant again, but the fetal image was extremely unstable, and it was very likely that she couldn't keep it, so she hung it with medicine every day.

Shen Yucheng is even busier, often not seen for ten days and a half months, presumably to take advantage of Xu Weizhen's return to Jiangbei to make a lot of money from tobacco, but the ill-gotten gains are naturally not so easy to make, Liu Sanchun still stayed in Qingzhou to supervise political affairs, it is said that this was specially requested by Xu Weizhen, it seems that he is not very at ease with this son-in-law.

Ping Yan often feels that the days are really slow, the moon rises and sets day by day, as if she is staying up for the New Year, but fortunately, she is accompanied by Tan'er and Buddha, and she can still smile and smile every day, which is a bit of a taste at all.

Xizong is getting better day by day, not as stupid as before, and has been able to recognize people slightly in recent months. The child was close to the child, and he spent most of the day with the Buddha. On this day, the two children were led by the girls to play as usual, but the ladder in the attic was loosened a few steps, and in the panic, the girls only grabbed Xizong.

Buddha Sheng lost too much blood, and there was no matching blood type in the blood bank in the hospital, if she transferred it from another branch hospital, I am afraid that it would not be able to solve the near fire far away, but the blood type of her biological mother was not matched. That half of the day was really a despair, and then it was more like a dream, in a daze, she seemed to see Shen Yuji, blood transfusion, so a few hours later, Buddha Sheng was pushed to the ordinary ward.

That's really Shen Yuji.

It's really Shen Yuchen.

Quiet and tangible.

She pounced on him and threw herself into his arms, but he didn't seem to have the enthusiasm and depth he had before, and the color of the wind and frost between his eyebrows and eyes seemed to spread to his heart, just let her hold her tightly, not speaking, not moving, not moving, not hiding. But she didn't mind anything, this was already the greatest gift from God to her, even if she was to die immediately, she would be willing.

That night, she pulled Shen Yuchen's sleeve and never let go for a moment, and her tears kept falling, she didn't seem to be so sticky in her life, and she didn't seem to have so many tears. She cried and laughed, and in the end she couldn't tell what kind of mood she was feeling.

Shen Yuchen wiped away the tears on her face, and said in a gentle tone, "Don't cry, I've been crying for a few hours, and if I cry again, I'll be so swollen that I can't open my eyes tomorrow." ”

She hugged him again, and her hands held him a little tighter. In such a deep and quiet night, he was like a misty and beautiful dream, as if as long as she couldn't grasp it tightly, it would quickly dissipate in the early morning light.

He pulled off her ten-fingered ten-fingers from his waist one by one, his eyes were warm and flat, "Ping Yan, it's time for me to go." ”

"Where are you going?" She asked hurriedly.

"Closed down, I have come to Qingzhou for my family's business in the past few days, and it's time to go back."

"I'll go with you!"

For some reason, she was always faintly uneasy in her heart, as if it was not what it used to be, and nothing was the same. There was a hint of annoyance and helplessness in his gentle expression, but he still asked her with a smile, "What nonsense are you talking about?" What are you going to do with me? ”

She was stunned, as if a piece of her mind had suddenly broken off, and her tone was weak, and she smiled with him: "What are you talking about?" I'm your wife, shouldn't I go back with you? ”

He pulled his lips more and more uncontrollably and laughed, "When did you become my wife?" Have we ever had a courtesy, a visit to the church, and a marriage? ”

The gap in her heart that opened and closed was finally torn, and blood gushed out, as if it filled her throat, "Yuji, do you know what you're talking about?" ”

He was still smiling, extremely gentle, and said the words mellow and ruthless, "I have already married a wife at home, and you also know it, it is Lin Lixue." He saw that she was bursting into tears, and hurriedly wiped her, "The previous part with you was not much for me, besides, if you think about it carefully, how much trouble you caused me during the time we were together, I went to save you again and again, fortunately, I had a big life, and I survived." Now you should also think about me, I also want to spend a few days of firewood, rice, oil and salt, and now my family is happy and happy, so don't bother me, okay? ”

Her tears were almost unstoppable, and thousands of drops fell down, smashing her heart full of blood. He took out a wad of money directly from his shirt and stuffed it into her arms, "I don't want Buddha Sheng, I don't want it, leave it to you as a companion, you take the money first, and when I return to the lockdown, I will send someone to bring a check, which is enough for you two to have no worries about food and clothing for the rest of your lives." In this way, we can not owe each other. "Get up and go, no nostalgia.

Ping Yan hugged him behind herself, almost unable to speak, "I don't believe you would say such heartless words, Yuji, what's wrong with you?" You must have some kind of hardship, otherwise you wouldn't have abandoned our mother and son like this. ”

He took a deep breath and sneered, "What can I suffer? Think about it, if I still have the slightest affection for you, why haven't I come to you for so long? In fact, I came today as a last resort, after all, it is my child, if nothing happens to the Buddha, I may not see you again in my life. He touched the cold hands on his waist and pulled them away, "Please, let me go." I've done enough for you, don't you think it's enough? ”

He strode out, got into the car, and walked away. She seemed to realize something, it was almost dawn, and the dream was about to wake up. She chased out, in the cold, slightly white night with fish belly, running madly, panting, colic, she never seemed to be so tired in her life, fell and fell, and bruised all over.

The last person to stop her was Shen Yucheng. She cried out, gouging out his face, and he didn't let go of her. The night is about to disperse, the mist is still there, where can people run past the car, in fact, she doesn't know whether the direction of the chase is right or not, she just keeps running, as if this way can grasp this dream. But there is always dawn, there is always awakening.

She calmed down, her whole body was weak, as if every cell was slowly dying, only the memory was vivid, and the knife was grinding on her heart.

When I woke up, it was the next evening. She got out of bed and opened the curtains, only to see that her eyes were covered in silver, and the jade was hanging on the ice, and it was snowing so heavily. She reached out and picked up a small piece of snow on the window, cold to the bone, and even her teeth trembled slightly. She was awake at once, and at last she could hear her breathing like a living person, though it was so faint, but she could be sure that she was alive now that she had woken up.

Later, Shen Yucheng personally brought the porridge in, she drank it all in one gulp, and asked, "You already knew that he was still alive, but he was hiding it from me, right?" ”

He wanted to explain, but she raised her hand to stop it, and said, "Take me to see him again." ”

"Ping Yan, you know that there is no result."

"Take me to see him again! Right now. She decisively, her voice slowly lowered, "It's okay for me to die forever." ”

"Okay, I'll take you."

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